Short-term Marriage in Somalia: Ethical question about marriage, sex, zina, and savagery

[Madara x]

Women are treated so harshy in patrachial societie's, the term 'used goods' wow that's sad. Women cannot express their desires without being labeled hores or used goods. But a man can run a race track of women and be let off. Double standard's are a wicked game in this world.

I think assata used that phrase. But it is a fucked up situation. f*ck patriarchy, says a man.

 

[EternalLightX]

Don't worry about these people. Your friend is intelligent. She will try to use him, and he will be done using her.
That is life. It is halaal for him to get married as many times as he wants. If I were younger, I would get married to Somali girls in Somalia and divorce them the second I saw a more beautiful one.

And I wish to marry many buetiful men, divorce them and seduce more. But as a women divorce means used goods life is truly unfair. I wish I could marry 4 buetiful men and not be considered a used tissue. Women are not your property to defile as you please, mate get the hell out useless baboon. If women cannot achieve their own independent satisfaction no man can either.

 

[MadNomad]

I'm even in support of incestial relationship between siblings

 

[DeathWish]

But as a women divorce means used goods life is truly unfair.

Tough luck..


I thought you were asexual too.

 

[Madara x]

you...have a bad grasp on ethics and morality my friend.

Why do you say that?

 

[Madara x]

She's marrying OP's 'friend' because yes he's well off and more likely to offer her and any future offspring they have with a better life, by virtue of his bassabor. Isn't that his islamic duty? now how exactly is she taking advantage of him???

Marriage is a contract... Obviously the good sis needs to be clever about it like why else would u marry some dhaqan celis neef if he doesn't bring anything to the table? for love??? nah in return she'll do her house wifely duties

@Mohamud tell me what noble intentions are worth marrying for

Why am i a OP tho?

 

[arawelo 2.0]

Solid clarification here.

But seduction is always at play. Men as the question, but various events lead to that moment. Seduction is a process. Let's leave that alone.

Tell me this, if a girl swerves on him aggressively and consistently, even after he says that he won't be in the city for long, what should he do then: Commit zina or wifey her?

i know seduction is a process, but your friend isn't partaking in the process. even if she is seducing him, he has already made up his mind before he even met her.

if she is very aggressive about marriage and its obvious why, then it's probably best to let his intentions be known as well.
she gets meher, and whatever else and he gets sex.

 

[Mohamud]

She's marrying OP's 'friend' because yes he's well off and more likely to offer her and any future offspring they have with a better life, by virtue of his bassabor. Isn't that his islamic duty? now how exactly is she taking advantage of him???

Marriage is a contract... Obviously the good sis needs to be clever about it like why else would u marry some dhaqan celis neef if he doesn't bring anything to the table? for love??? nah in return she'll do her house wifely duties

@Mohamud tell me what noble intentions are worth marrying for

there are no noble intentions they just aren't inherently selfish. or at least not in a sense where there's a matter of control. like love is the key component to how a marriage thrives and the emotion itself is almost unilaterally tethered to your feelings of another person. Marriage is the contract that makes that basic instinctual manageable in society. it's something you do for the betterment of yourself and potentially your partner. like it's an agreement. but when you marry purely for yourself and have zero connection to other person you have mitigated the entire purpose of the contract. it is entirely selfish because you literally don't value the other person beyond your own desire. with a regular, monogamous relationship you value the other person and their emotions.

and here you are absolving her and justifying her intentions purely based on the premise given in this thread. like, reverse shit. take her mindset and put in a decent, loving, and well-to-do somali man who is one hundred percent willing to take care of her. would her mindset suddenly shift to being negative as she takes advantage of a decent human being? because if so then that makes morality tethered to specific scenarios. it means specific intentions are absolved purely because someone else in the equation is a shittier person. and that's...kinda lowkey fucked up.

stop being stubborn

 

[EternalLightX]

Tough luck..


I thought you were asexual too.

Women shouldn't tolerate such double standards, ladies engage in sexual intercourse freely, it's your body, your own which means your in control of it no man is. Asexual is boring lifestyle I'm human I have needs

 

[Madara x]

In this case yes I would say it's better for him to commit zina instead of ruining that poor woman's life. He can repent. I think it says something about him to think he can ruin someone else's life but doesn't want the guilt that he commited zina on his conscience.

As a modern woman however don't expect me to champion for him as marriage material after he commited zina he's not. If most of us are strong enough to control his urges than he should be too. He should act like an adult and not a selfish little child who only thinks of himself and doesn't even worry about how his actions will impact others.


I don't even know this man and I'm so disappointed with him.

What is better, committing zina or running someone's life by marrying them for sex? This is topic for another thread.

I can't believe you said the nigga should commit zina tho. That's just hectic. But i see your point with running the girls life too.

 

[Mohamud]

waryaahe this isnt some romantic movie or western style relationship where the guy and the girl should fall madly enough before considering marriage.

most Somali mary and expect love to come second. if any guy, whether local or diaspora asks a girl back home to marry him she'll probably say yes without much thought to what she is getting out of the marriage or whether or not they are compatible.

she is not deceiving him in any way. he already knows her intentions, and he even has the choice to say no if she asks him to sponsor her.

by your logic, no man or woman from the diaspora should ever go home to get married since everyone back home is conniving and only in it for some monatery gain.

so what if HE knows her intentions in this wack hypothetical? she doesn't KNOW every single dude that comes her way will know her intentions. in fact her entire plan banks on the idea that one will be dumb enough not to see her intentions. she is still acting in deception even if the dude doesn't register it as such. that's my argument, abayo.

and that's isn't my logic at all because i don't think every single person there is trying to snag a passport. that was your argument not mine

he is well aware of what most girls who marry diaspora guys want and that is a western passport.

and by this logic she's still deceiving incoming individuals and is a despicable person for doing so. her actions are not ambiguous they're wrong. period.

 

[DeathWish]

Asexual is boring lifestyle I'm human I have needs

I knew it from the get-go. You are even more thirsty than @waraabe.

Women should marry whoever they want. But this is why women are not supposed to sleep around. Never forget these words.

 

[arawelo 2.0]

A man cannot control his urges it's like telling a dog to not chew abone that is infront of them. Men will be men

if Allah made them to be dogs who cant resist a bone, then Zina wouldn't have been made haram. they can control their desires if they want to but most of the time they actively choose not to and use excuses like 'boys will be boys'.

 

[XamarCade]

Everybody seems to have this evil friend nowadays lol

 

[EternalLightX]

I knew it from the get-go. You are even more thirsty than @waraabe.

Women should marry whoever they want. But this is why women are not supposed to sleep around. Never forget these words.

That's your analogy a weak pathetic MAN'S view. Go take your backward's idiocy elsewhere. No there is no shitty lock

 

[Madara x]

but how will she financially take advantage of him?

she isnt expecting him to fly her around the world and buy her and her family a house or any other ludicrous things.

at most, he'll be sending her few hundred dollars a month. As her husband that is his obligation. if it isnt your friend any other man who marries her is expected to do the same. she might be slightly better off if she marries your friend rather than a local guy, but that is not deception, its being smart.

on the other hand, your friend is planning on ruining her life for few weeks of pleasure.

This is all hypothetical so let's just say that she intends to use him to come to the west. Does that qualify as deception?

 

[EternalLightX]

Marriage doesn't last for eternity, the lady gets old the man gets bored they divorce or he marries some other woman. Let's face it marriage doesn't equate to happiness it's never permanent, everlasting.

 

[arawelo 2.0]

This is all hypothetical so let's just say that she intends to use him to come to the west. Does that qualify as deception?

but how can she use him to come to the west? unless he wants to sponsor her, marrying him won't get her anywhere.

he clearly doesn't intend on taking her with him, he doest even intend on remaining married. that's double deception on his part.

 

[Madara x]

Don't worry about these people. Your friend is intelligent. She will try to use him, and he will be done using her.

That is life. It is halaal for him to get married as many times as he wants.

If I were younger, I would get married to Somali girls in Somalia and divorce them the second I saw a more beautiful one.

That's So savage....

many niggas go down this path and they come out fucked cuz of karma
it is a dog eat dog world

But if you were a vulnerable dog, would you want to be eaten?

 

[Madara x]

i know seduction is a process, but your friend isn't partaking in the process. even if she is seducing him, he has already made up his mind before he even met her.

if she is very aggressive about marriage and its obvious why, then it's probably best to let his intentions be known as well.
she gets meher, and whatever else and he gets sex.

Your last line there makes it sound like a deal.

Its . . . money oops i mean marriage for sex right?