Somali Dating Scene for the (27+)

[Sophisticate]

This is the second time you've come back to us talking dating after having met with your friends for coffee or something.

Wrong. There is a clear demarcation.

My other thread was a discussion I had with my cousin. And it had to do with marrying someone from the same tribe.

This thread is about a discussion with a friend from university. It in reference to dating more generally and highlights current realities of time (it's also cohort-specific too).

Going to be honest. There was a time-gap between both convos. One I actually had in the Summer (with my cousin) and one was quite recent (with a friend). I thought they were distinct but quite similar. However, they would make for different topics.

 

[Seoul]

I only ask because I find it so hard to find Somali men. Like, where do we go? I absolutely hate shisha places.

Obvious clubs and bars means "turn up" - Somalis cannot handle any form of "turn up"

Library? - rarely
Uni?? - I doubt it

Tell me!? Where?!?

Shisha places only have fuckboys and niman nolosha ka Dhacde. You don't have to find Somali men, they should be looking for you. Maybe your friends or family know someone who's also looking and can hook you up. Go to areas where Somalis are heavily populated, online dating is popular too in this day and age.

 

[Reddington]

Haye, Soph. I look forward to your next dating/relationship topic.

 

[Sophisticate]

Haye, Soph. I look forward to your next dating/relationship topic.

Talking about your experience would have helped to elucidate this matter, but you've added little to the conversation except for lending your criticism. And who's to say I'll make another?

 

[Zuleikha]

Hi Sophi
I'm not sure where you from but my neck of the wood there are pretty decent guys that are in their late 20s and and early 30s single and ready to mingle. You've mentioned your friend is from different city from yours so I believe maybe your experience with dating might be different from hers. It's all about having faith.

 

[Sultana]

Out of my 10 female cousins who were born in the mid to late 80s and live in Toronto, only 2 are married. So yeah, you're definitely not alone. And one of the married ones is married to a Somali Brit and they met each other in the Middle East. lol

But yeah, what I've noticed is that girls who are around my age are marrying guys who are much older than them or marrying guys from different cities in Canada.

 

[Reddington]

My experience? No. This is clearly a topic for the ladies of SSPOT. Again, maybe next time.

 

[Sophisticate]

Hi Sophi
I'm not sure where you from but my neck of the wood there are pretty decent guys that are in their late 20s and and early 30s single and ready to mingle. You've mentioned your friend is from different city from yours so I believe maybe your experience with dating might be different from hers. It's all about having faith.

I've cross-referenced and I'm hearing the same in my ends too.

Out of my 10 female cousins who were born in the mid to late 80s and live in Toronto, only 2 are married. So yeah, you're definitely not alone. And one of the married ones is married to a Somali Brit and they met each other in the Middle East. lol

But yeah, what I've noticed is that girls who are around my age are marrying guys who are much older than them or marrying guys from different cities in Canada.

Sultana I know what you're saying. I'm aware of these trends. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being single and marriage is not a panacea to one's own problems, but it's just a logical step in the life course. Dating is just too confusing and truthfully I would prefer to skip it.

My experience? No. This is clearly a topic for the ladies of SSPOT. Again, maybe next time.

That didn't stop you before from providing your two cents. lol

 

[Sultana]

Soph, whenever we get the blue labels, can you make yours "The Human Thesaurus"? lol
Insha'Allah you get a good spouse though.

 

[Sophisticate]

Soph, whenever we get the blue labels, can you make yours "The Human Thesaurus"? lol
Insha'Allah you get a good spouse though.

Thanks, walaalo. Do we get blue labels? I thought that was exclusively a mod thing.

 

[Sultana]

Thanks, walaalo. Do we get blue labels? I thought that was exclusively a mod thing.

Contributors are getting tags sometime before New Years hopefully.

According to AJ, soon.

 

[Ferrari]

@sophisticate What's wrong with giving a younger guy who is mature and successful a chance? I never understood the whole he has to be older than me thing. Some guys have it all at younger age while others lack it all at older age. Why would you eliminate younger guys because of their age? I think you should reconsider if you see a man who has what you are looking for but he is a bit younger.

 

[Bohol]

Funny thread. The truth of the matter is dating/getting to know each other is not that easy in the Somali community as they
are more shy/reserved compared to the cadaan community that invented it.

SomaliSpot.com siilaanyolaugh

 

[Southerner]

exceedingly cold and distant and/or perhaps a mix of the two aka hot-and-cold.

Describes me to a tee, just not excited since the first one.

Back to the thread tho, I think we care too much about what others think(friends and family) of our
potential partner, so we try to find the perfect person.

 

[McLovin]

You use a lot of big words n stuff coolio

 

[Queen Carawelo]

You don't need to go back home Sophie. There are plenty of men. Men back home are the worse, the minute they see you, they only see passport.

 

[TekNiKo]

You said yo don't wear hijab right? Good luck marrying a dude from Somalia that will tolerate that bs, every young guy here wants bikro 16 yr old.

 

[madamelioness]

You said yo don't wear hijab right? Good luck marrying a dude from Somalia that will tolerate that bs, every young guy here wants bikro 16 yr old.

That's a sickening mentality. The above poster most likely was born and grew up in the West, yet has this backward mentality.

To the OP, it seems to me you have already given up before even trying to see what's out there for yourself. If you don't want to date, then you might want to consider arranged marriage but it doesn't have to be with someone from back home. Confide in a relative you trust aboyt the qualities you desire in your ideal mate, they would do the necessary background check and you can meet and see if you click but you have to be less rigid. You seem quite inflexible and set in your ways. You have to make some compromises because there's always going to be something lacking but you have to decide what you are able to overlook and work with.

 

[Jeffo]

You don't need money, don't take fame. Don't need no credit card to ride this train.It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes. But it might just save your life. That's the power of love.

 

[waraabe]

Good luck ladies.