Somali Dating Scene for the (27+)

[Sophisticate]

I was catching up with a school friend of mine from out of town. We recounted over old times I got brushed up on the recent happenings of that city I used to live in. We started discussing the topic of dating in your late 20s pushing on 30. Let me provide you with a little background.

It's interesting because we were not the dating type when we were in university since school had primacy over nimaan. We had tunnel vision. I myself did not dabble in the dating scene. My friend only recently started and she provided me with some stories about how it is at this juncture.

She said it's full of leftovers. I asked for some clarification and this is what she told me:

(1) The market is saturated with newly-minted divorcés. (2) A segment of the never-married are jaded. (3) Some clocked in major mileage and emotional baggage that affect them today. (4) Others prefer a female that is divorced and/or sexually experienced. (5) Some brothers prefer light-weight to no baggage (i.e. never married & not sexually active) but are still untrusting of women that meet the cut. (6) Others actually expect goodies well before the nikah or even mention of it. (7) Some folks do not know what they want so they date aimlessly. (8) There are also those with insecure attachment issues plaguing them, making them too clingy or exceedingly cold and distant and/or perhaps a mix of the two aka hot-and-cold.

After hearing all this, I've decided to just forgo this time-consuming process and get like AJ by importing a groom from elsewhere in due time.
So, what do you folks think?

 

[Apollo]

Are you thinking of getting one from back in Somaliland? Since you were raised in Canada and hold a degree from a local university you will always earn much more than your husband in that scenario. Most guys do not like if their girlfriend/wife earns much more than them. He might get all weird on you. I think the spouse from back home thing only works for guys. My two cents.

 

[Inactive]

It can work for @sophisticate.

Sophisticate for some reason seems to me like a woman who will not have any kids. But I can see her getting married.

 

[Solid]

Soph, check the scene for yourself and then come to a conclusion, although what your friend is saying is probably right.

 

[Sophisticate]

Are you thinking of getting one from back in Somaliland? Since you were raised in Canada and hold a degree from local university you will always earn much more than your husband in that scenario. Most guys do not like if their girlfriend/wife earns much more than them. He might get all weird on you. I think the spouse from back home thing only works for guys. My two cents.

I've got a couple degrees. And I was born in America and raised in Canada, I don't know if it would work with someone from back home (competing values). I'm also concerned that investing in them will = emancipation. I've heard of cases where they ditch Xalimos once success comes their way. And let's not forget alimony. I'm concerned about safeguarding my retirement. And I never said "back home", just maybe outside of N. America.

 

[Sophisticate]

It can work for @sophisticate.

Sophisticate for some reason seems to me like a woman who will not have any kids. But I can see her getting married.

AJ you appear to be a believer in this marrying from abroad, thing. Why do you think I'm so averse to children? Surprisingly, your not the first to say that. I don't know why you folks assume *scratches head.*

 

[Apollo]

I've got a couple degrees. And I was born in America and raised in Canada, I don't know if it would work for someone back home (competing values). I'm also concerned that investing in them will = emancipation. I've heard of cases where they ditch Xalimos once success comes their way. And let's not forget alimony. I'm concerned about safeguarding my retirement. And I never said "back home", just maybe outside of N. America.

The scene isn't much different in Europe. Western Somalis are all quite similar. You will be taking on more risk over a Canadian, IMO.

 

[Sophisticate]

Soph, check the scene for yourself and then come to a conclusion, although what your friend is saying is probably right.

Free cunto or shaah with lackluster conversation and expectation of some kind of reward doesn't sound appealing. At least, that's how she framed a worst case scenario. If a dude wants to "get it" he can get a 5 dollar hooker. I'm not a gambler. The investigative journalist that I am I need more than just an endorsement/ referral from such and such. I need tangible foreknowledge/vetting.

 

[Inactive]

AJ you appear to be a believer in this marrying from abroad, thing. Why do you think I'm so averse to children? Surprisingly, your not the first to say that. I don't know why you folks assume *scratches head.*

I don't think you hate children but children will get in the way of your life goals.

 

[Freebandz]

why dont you wait for me to mature lets say when am 25-26

 

[Sophisticate]

The scene isn't much different in Europe. Western Somalis are all quite similar. You will be taking on more risk over a Canadian, IMO.

Amun, something told me you'd say that.

I don't think you hate children, but children will get in the way of your life goals.

What about a biological footprint/legacy?

 

[Inactive]

Amun, something told me you'd say that.



What about a biological footprint/legacy?

You have your brothers for that

 

[Sophisticate]

why dont you wait for me to mature lets say when am 25-26

The avatar with the kitten describes what I think of bandit. Loveable and adorable but the buck stops there. You're better off going for someone your own age waryaa. Waiting for a brother to mature would have some implications for aniga. Those are (5 good reproductive years I can't get back).

 

[Sophisticate]

You have your brothers for that

Grandmothers love their daughters children more. It's been proven. And I'm the only girl which makes me more valuable.

 

[John Michael]

Soph you seem like a very cautious person. I am too.

Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith and get out of your comfort zone. Be open minded about who you might consider here in Canada first (I don't mean losers). Just so you can first get to know what you like and don't like.

Advice straight from my very own hooyo.

Take a chance Sophi.

 

[Forfon]

Free cunto or shaah with lackluster conversation and expectation of some kind of reward doesn't sound appealing. At least, that's how she framed a worst case scenario. If a dude wants to "get it" he can get a 5 dollar hooker. I'm not a gambler. The investigative journalist that I am I need more than just an endorsement/ referral from such and such. I need tangible foreknowledge/vetting.

Maybe, Somali men are not the answer?

 

[Sophisticate]

Soph you seem like a very cautious person. I am too.

Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith and get out of your comfort zone. Be open minded about who you might consider here in Canada first (I don't mean losers). Just so you can first get to know what you like and don't like.

Advice straight from my very own hooyo.

Take a chance Sophi.

You're hooyo is very wise and you're right to be cautious. Sis, all this is conjecture. I'm just having more leanings to arranged marriage vs. dating i.e. (shooting in the dark).

Maybe, Somali men are not the answer?

Sxb, I can't have foreknowledge (aka no prior info) about foreign communities (non-Somali), since I don't belong to them. I'm also not open to that.

 

[Seoul]

For me personally I don't see myself with a guy from back home. I grew up in the west and I feel like we wouldn't be very compatible or have the same views. There are guys in America/UK/Scandinavia who have education, career and life goals. But they are rare so you have really open your eyes.

 

[Oscar]

i dont believe in this whole finding a spouse from another country business. everyone must/have to find someone from within their country. someone that you have everything in common with making everything so much easier. apart from that who ever you desire go for it and find out

 

[Solid]

For me personally I don't see myself with a guy from back home. I grew up in the west and I feel like we wouldn't be very compatible or have the same views. There are guys in America/UK/Scandinavia who have education, career and life goals. But they are rare so you have really open your eyes.

They do exist. Somalis guys are getting better despite all the noise.