why do somalis look down in single moms?

[ZakWantsToPlay]

certainly, I do agree. My apologise.. perhaps a little more consideration on my part would have gone a long way.

Good man bro. Being considerate is an art we all need to practice online and offline. With that, I sign off for now.

 

[Younes Osman]

You're a hypocrite. Many men choose women based on beauty. You obviously think a man has a right to choose a woman he regards as attractive right?

Would you marry a woman you were not attracted to?

exactly, as a guy I would choose a woman that I find macaan.

 

[Younes Osman]

Good man bro. Being considerate is an art we all need to practice online and offline. With that, I sign off for now.

salam

 

[Hodan from HR]

The same question goes to the husband as well. Men and Women are equally capable of wrong doing. It is not always the woman's problem ninyow.

 

[HalimaJ]

Most men are powerless in this gyrocentric Western society, the true victims in child custody, alimony etc. Single motherhood is incentified by the state, she gets a bigger cheque from welfare than her man.

This isn't a Somali issue. The average divorced Somali woman doesn't get a penny from her ex husband. In fact, many of them have been relying on government handouts well before the divorce.

The reason why divorce is so rife in our community is that Somali women don't rely on their husbands. The men are not needed. They have allowed themselves to be useless. Some don't work and are nothing but a burden to their families.

What you are describing is an issue that mainly effects whites and other non Somalis. Whilst other races are crippled due to their divorce and have to pay child support, some Somali men after divorce run off and produce more kids who they will put in the same predicament, whilst the mother worries and looks after her children.

 

[HalimaJ]

Theres a reason she became a single mom, do you think the former husband left for no reason? Be wary boys.

Women leave men as well. We can argue there is a reason why that man's wife wanted a divorce. Girls be wary.

A woman can easily leave you because she doesn't like the way you treat her. Many single mothers leave of their own accord. Also, so couples are just not compatible and don't get along. So it is better for them to separate.

I think many of you here need to start being wary of your own mothers as most are divorced, if that is the angle you want to take. Also, your fathers are no where to be seen.

 

[IBRAHIM.]

I have nothing against single moms. Divorce happens. I don’t wanna marry one tho.

 

[Yahya]

You're a hypocrite. Many men choose women based on beauty. You obviously think a man has a right to choose a woman he regards as attractive right?

Would you marry a woman you were not attracted to?

No let me clarify that again for you. Women are more shallow and always choose a man for what he can provide for them be it looks or wealth. Men are more practical and will marry for many reasons.

Bear in mind that i am accusing single mothers of a particular kind that allow themselves to be seen as easy prey for men. These females have no right to complain after they chose to have children with a deadbeat.

 

[Mimir]

Most Somalis are raised by a single mother, whether your mom and dad were divorced or not we know who raised you, who showed up at your school meetings, got up in wee hours to make you breakfast, went to school shopping with you. Anyone who looks down on a single mother is a moron.

Most Somalis have their fathers present so I don't know where you got your suugo statistics

 

[HalimaJ]

No let me clarify that again for you. Women are more shallow and always choose a man for what he can provide for them be it looks or wealth. Men are more practical and will marry for many reasons.

Bear in mind that i am accusing single mothers of a particular kind that allow themselves to be seen as easy prey for men. These females have no right to complain after they chose to have children with a deadbeat.

Studies and data show that men choose women mostly for their physical attractiveness. Men are visual creatives. It is within your nature.

You didn't answer my question, because you know I am right. Yahya, would you marry a woman you were not attracted to?

If you're answer is YES, then I might take you seriously. But we both know you wouldn't and most men wouldn't as well.
Therefore, what you wrote does not align with reality.

Also, how can a woman predict a man will be a deadbeat, if such a man does not have children from previous relationships? Deadbeat men are from all walks of life. Poor, middle class and rich. They can all be deadbeat. Are women soothsayers with crystal balls that can predicts the actions of others?

 

[Factz]

I personally don't know anyone that looks down on single mothers.

I just know a guy with standards would never marry a single mother and raise her kids.

Also, statistics show kids from single mother backgrounds tend to be criminals, school dropouts, bums and s. You need a strong nuclear family and that means having a father figure with your kids. Maybe that's why there are some people out there that look down on single mothers because of their kid's behaviours. Allahu ahlam.

 

[Hodan from HR]

No let me clarify that again for you. Women are more shallow and always choose a man for what he can provide for them be it looks or wealth. Men are more practical and will marry for many reasons.

Bear in mind that i am accusing single mothers of a particular kind that allow themselves to be seen as easy prey for men. These females have no right to complain after they chose to have children with a deadbeat.

It is not shameful to want a man who provides and is responsible because that man will be father to your children and any smart woman will choose the stability over butterflies. You can grow in love for the rest of our lives together anyway.
Marriage is a risk and people do change. This blind loyalty and sticking around for someone who is undeserving is exhausting. Both men and women should know their worth and not settle.

 

[HalimaJ]

I personally don't know anyone that looks down on single mothers.

I just know a guy with standards would never marry a single mother and raise her kids.

Also, statistics show kids from single mother backgrounds tend to be criminals, school dropouts, bums and s. You need a strong nuclear family and that means having a father figure with your kids. Maybe that's why there are some people out there that look down on single mothers because of their kid's behaviours. Allahu ahlam.

Many decent men with standards have married single mothers. Fear Allah.
One of the reasons why there weren't alot of single mothers in the early days of Islam is that many of the sahabas were willing to marry divorced and widowed women. The children had good role models and the men did not care. They have better standards than you can ever.

Khadijah was a twice previously married woman before marrying the Prophet S.A.W who was a young man of 25. She was considered a catch and a lot of the men in Mecca asked for her hand in marriage before marrying the Prophet.

The fact that you think a man has no standards for marrying a woman who was once married and has kids means you look down on those women. Such an ignorant statement to make.

Any woman can end up a single mother, even your sisters or future daughters. Think through some the nonsense you write. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to marry them, but berating other men for it is ridiculous.

 

[Factz]

Many decent men with standards have married single mothers. Fear Allah.
One of the reasons why there weren't alot of single mothers in the early days of Islam is that many of the sahabas were willing to marry divorced and widowed women. The children had good role models and the men did not care. They have better standards than you can ever.

Khadijah was a twice previously married woman before marrying the Prophet S.A.W who was a young man of 25. She was considered a catch and a lot of the men in Mecca asked for her hand in marriage before marrying the Prophet.

The fact that you think a man has no standards for marrying a woman who was once married and has kids means you look down on those women. Such an ignorant statement to make.

Any woman can end up a single mother, even your sisters or future daughters. Think through some the nonsense you write. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to marry them, but berating other men for it is ridiculous.

I meant to say a proud man who never married before would usually never marry a single mother. I wasn't trying to bash them. I simply made a typo.

I was mostly focusing on why some people out there look down on single mothers.

I'm sorry if you got upset.

 

[HalimaJ]

I meant to say a proud man who never married before would usually never marry a single mother. I wasn't trying to bash them. I simply made a typo.

I was mostly focusing on why some people out there look down on single mothers.

I'm sorry if you got upset.

Nah, it was definitely the way you worded it which shocked me.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to marry a single mother, i never wanted to marry a single dad with kids. However, wallahi I have nothing but respect for women who do and who help raise the kids. Just not for me. I also don't think of them as having low standards. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance.

 

[Mimir]

Many decent men with standards have married single mothers. Fear Allah.
One of the reasons why there weren't alot of single mothers in the early days of Islam is that many of the sahabas were willing to marry divorced and widowed women. The children had good role models and the men did not care. They have better standards than you can ever.

Khadijah was a twice previously married woman before marrying the Prophet S.A.W who was a young man of 25. She was considered a catch and a lot of the men in Mecca asked for her hand in marriage before marrying the Prophet.

The fact that you think a man has no standards for marrying a woman who was once married and has kids means you look down on those women. Such an ignorant statement to make.

Any woman can end up a single mother, even your sisters or future daughters. Think through some the nonsense you write. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to marry them, but berating other men for it is ridiculous.

Those days the men were given custody of the kids if the woman divorced and remarried.
No man with an inch of pride would allow their kids to be raised by another man.

 

[HalimaJ]

Those days the men were given custody of the kids if the woman divorced and remarried.
No man with an inch of pride would allow their kids to be raised by another man.

Deadbeat fathers don't care about their children, which is what we are talking about.

A divorced couple can still raise children together, if they opt for joint custody, but many divorced Somali men would rather run off and have more kids and forget about the old ones.

 

[Mimir]

Deadbeat fathers don't care about their children, which is what we are talking about.

A divorced couple can still raise children together, if they opt for joint custody, but many divorced Somali men would rather run off and have more kids and forget about the old ones.

I was talking about the early days and not how Somali men behave in these modern days

 

[HalimaJ]

I was talking about the early days and not how Somali men behave in these modern days

Custody in the early days is pretty murky, but islamically a woman has more rights to the child until the age of 7 and then then child can choose. However, it is not set in stone as different madhabs have different views and also it should be taken as a case by case when it comes to some scenarios. If the mother remarries the father has more rights.

Also, widows are single mothers as well.


And he said: It should be noted that there was no general text from the Lawgiver giving precedence to either of the parents in absolute terms, and the child should not be given the choice between his parents in all cases. The scholars are unanimously agreed that neither of them should be singled out in all cases; rather one who is an evildoer and heedless should not be given precedence over one who is righteous and of good character.

 

[TekNiKo]

This isn't a Somali issue. The average divorced Somali woman doesn't get a penny from her ex husband. In fact, many of them have been relying on government handouts well before the divorce.

The reason why divorce is so rife in our community is that Somali women don't rely on their husbands. The men are not needed. They have allowed themselves to be useless. Some don't work and are nothing but a burden to their families.

What you are describing is an issue that mainly effects whites and other non Somalis. Whilst other races are crippled due to their divorce and have to pay child support, some Somali men after divorce run off and produce more kids who they will put in the same predicament, whilst the mother worries and looks after her children.

You are clearly being disingenous, I know many Somali fathers who were taken to court by scornful ex Somali wives, one of them even had his passport seized by the state for 10 years and another one was denied his tax returns. Stop acting as if Somali men are immune to the gyrocentric system!

Women leave men as well. We can argue there is a reason why that man's wife wanted a divorce. Girls be wary.

A woman can easily leave you because she doesn't like the way you treat her. Many single mothers leave of their own accord. Also, so couples are just not compatible and don't get along. So it is better for them to separate.

I think many of you here need to start being wary of your own mothers as most are divorced, if that is the angle you want to take. Also, your fathers are no where to be seen.

In Islam at the end of the day it is the man who has the final decision when it comea to divorce, this is a fact. Alhamdillilah, I have a great father whom instilled in me alot of the values I have today, If I was raised by a single mom I would be a gangbanging loser like many of the youth in Toronto today!