Any single women on SSpot feel like this sometimes . .

[Samaalic Era]

Some of these women and there Xaasid advise. If you dont get married in your 20s, you will mostly remain in that state. I advise you to ask your family to find you a suitable partner and do not wait for this imaginary figure who will never come and do not put career over having a family or you will regret it

 

[Finesse]

I don't know where you live but it goes both ways these days. 50/50 in restaurant, and both sexes pursue what they want.
It takes a strong caractere for that, it seems Somali women are lacking this.
Good luck in the West tho! Everyone believes in equality and feminism here, not those tradtionnal gender roles.
Pursue what you want otherwise find a traditionnal somali man back home.

50/50?

So when a woman carries your child/ren and risks her life and her body giving birth to your child/ren, are you going to carry the child/ren half the time?

Will you breastfeed them?

Will you allow the woman to give the children HER LINEAGE? Her LAST NAME?



ALLAH SWT has NOT made marriage 50/50, so why should any MUSLIM woman accept such nonsense?

Allah knows best and unless the Quran/Hadith stipulates 50/50 financial and social responsibilities, hell nope.

 

[4head]

50/50?

So when a woman carries your child/ren and risks her life and her body giving birth to your child, are you going to carry the child/ren half the time?

Will you breastfeed them?

Will you allow the woman to give the children HER LINEAGE? Her NAME?



ALLAH SWT has NOT made marriage 50/50, so why should any MUSLIM woman accept such nonsense?

I don't believe in a god. I believe in reality.
I work, she has to work.
She will be into feminism and will want equality. Then it's the 50/50.
I don't care about the breatfeed thing, it's NATURAL.
Social norms are not natural, it can change. But breastfeeding is the natural way of keeping the newborn alive and having a contact with the mother.
It's off the subject, walal.

You have to understand that even old ladies used to this. Make things easier, be proactive in your romance life.
Otherwise you're setting yourself with a man that's not your first choice. The OP isn't being approched by many somali men. If she listens to you, she'll be old and lonely.

 

[Finesse]

Some of these women and there Xaasid advise. If you dont get married in your 20s, you will mostly remain in that state. I advise you to ask your family to find you a suitable partner and do not wait for this imaginary figure who will never come and do not put career over having a family or you will regret it

There are woman/men who have tired themselves trying to get married early only to get married at a later age.

If it is your time, it is your time, regardless of your actions.

It's about having the right intentions and relying on Allah.

Once she is approached, she should make istikharah but she should not stress over WHEN.

Marriage is not a sign of good character, it's just Rizq.

Wealth is also rizq but we do not judge those that are poor do we?

 

[Finesse]

I don't believe in a god. I believe in reality.
I work, she has to work.
She will be into feminism and will want equality. Then it's the 50/50.
I don't care about the breatfeed thing, it's NATURAL.
Social norms are not natural, it can change. But breastfeeding is the natural way of keeping the newborn alive and having a contact with the mother.
It's off the subject, walal.

You have to understand that even old ladies used to this. Make things easier, be proactive in your romance life.
Otherwise you're setting yourself with a man that's not your first choice. The OP isn't being approched by many somali men. If she listens to you, she'll be old and lonely.

You do not believe in Allah?

Of course you would peddle the 50/50 scam.

Good luck sir.

 

[4head]

You do not believe in Allah?

Of course you would peddle the 50/50 scam.

Good luck sir.

It's a scam? Why not living in a non-feminist country,such as Somalia?:siilaanyosmile: Of course, First World Countries and feminists are the best

 

[Caraweelo]

I'm 27 and my family keep pressuring me to get married and everytime I went back home to Somalia they do family gatherings so i will meet someone but I'm totally not interested. my plan is if I find the right person (liberal person) i will get married but if not i will live my life to the fullest and focus on my career and in future i will adopt somali kids.

Marriage is not that big deal as many people are making it to be. You are very young and you can focus on other things in your life and if the right person come good if not still good too.

 

[Mercury]

You shouldn’t lower your standards just to get married

 

[Samaalic Era]

There are woman/men who have tired themselves trying to get married early only to get married at a later age.

If it is your time, it is your time, regardless of your actions.

It's about having the right intentions and relying on Allah.

Once she is approached, she should make istikharah but she should not stress over WHEN.

Marriage is not a sign of good character, it's just Rizq.

Wealth is also rizq but we do not judge those that are poor do we?

Qadr is Qadr, but that doesnt mean do nothing. Allah swt has said many times in Qur'an to take action. Allah swt helps those who help themselves and put their trust in him.

The advise being given here is destructive. If she follows your advise, she will be single till she dies with no children.

 

[Caraweelo]

I don't believe in a god. I believe in reality.
I work, she has to work.
She will be into feminism and will want equality. Then it's the 50/50.
I don't care about the breatfeed thing, it's NATURAL.
Social norms are not natural, it can change. But breastfeeding is the natural way of keeping the newborn alive and having a contact with the mother.
It's off the subject, walal.

You have to understand that even old ladies used to this. Make things easier, be proactive in your romance life.
Otherwise you're setting yourself with a man that's not your first choice. The OP isn't being approched by many somali men. If she listens to you, she'll be old and lonely.

I agree with you. A healthy relationship mean 50/50 it is partnership where both the wife and husband share their lives and contribute in building healthy long lasting relationship.

Sadly somali society teach women to be followers and men to be leaders that's why most of somali marriages are toxic and failure because most of time women are waiting for men to take the first step instead of taking the initiative and communicating with men and discussing any topic with them.

Women should approach men if they are interested in them. there is nothing wrong with trying to communicate with guys and see if the admiration is mutual or not.

 

[4head]

I agree with you. A healthy relationship mean 50/50 it is partnership where both the wife and husband share their lives and contribute in building healthy long lasting relationship.

Sadly somali society teach women to be followers and men to be leaders that's why most of somali marriages are toxic and failure because most of time women are waiting for men to take the first step instead of taking the initiative and communicating with men and discussing any topics with them.

Women should approach men if they are interested in them. there is nothing wrong with trying to communicate with guys and see if the admiration is mutual or not.

I want that women and men should seek what they desire! I knew some madow and arab girls who were assertive and they had men they wanted. It's not that hard tbh, talking to people isn't a death sentence!

 

[roble]

dont worry baby u find him, at 22 too young.

 

[East side]

Women were always the ones pursued but since some of you somali guys want to act like teenage girls with social anxiety you want these poor women to help your sorry selves

Abaayo learn to always smile but other than that don’t feel like you have to talk to guys anymore than you currently do, at the end of the day you want a real man to be your husband and leader of your home, not just any little Abdi.

Not being helpful. A smart person adapts to the society they live in and not preach about an ideal society. There is lack of quality people out there and there is a competion going on in the real world. Sit home and wait for a man isnt gonna help when life passes you by

 

[Caraweelo]

I want that women and men should seek what they desire! I knew some madow and arab girls who were assertive and they had men they wanted. It's not that hard tbh, talking to people isn't a death sentence!

religion and tradition messed up the minds of many women and men. sheikhs always telling women to be precious diamond and not to talk to men and if men want them they will speak to their fathers.

 

[Caraweelo]

Not being helpful. A smart person adapts to the society they live in and not preach about an ideal society. There is lack of quality people out there and there is a competion going on in the real world. Sit home and wait for a man isnt gonna help when life passes you by

True...

 

[Halimo-2018]

22? You are young. When I was that all I didnt give crap about men the once my age were perverts and the rest were old men trying to out smart me. Focus on school for now while keeping your eye open if you happen to meet nice guy. tell mom you will move out this will shut her up cause no mom wants her daughter to be living away in the diaspora unless you're already doing that and in that case that is why mom is pressuring you.

 

[Finesse]

Qadr is Qadr, but that doesnt mean do nothing. Allah swt has said many times in Qur'an to take action. Allah swt helps those who help themselves and put their trust in him.

The advise being given here is destructive. If she follows your advise, she will be single till she dies with no children.

Did I say she should NOT be proactive?
Working on yourself and making duah IS being proactive.

Some people cannot have children and some people are not meant to get married, this is Allah's decree.

Therefore, it is best to find your own happiness through Allah first and foremost.
Even if you get married and have children, they can die before you, what's going to happen after that?

Slit your wrists?

 

[Finesse]

Your SOUL is eternal and you will be YOU for eternity, in heaven (inshallah) or hell (Allah forbid).
So become the love of your own ETERNAL LIFE before seeking someone else's love.

1. Allah
2. YOUR SELF
3. Mama
4. Papa
5. Family (including husband).

The rest of mankind for the sake of Allah.

 

[Malikfiqi]

Because you’re the ugly one in the group. I don’t think you lost enough weight.

You say there are hardly any good somali guys yet it seems like all your friends are finding one.

I don’t know why people are qashining your post. When a guy isn’t attractive he’s told to go to the gym. The gym isn’t male only anyone can be a ten with decent exercise and good dieting it’s called self improvement not everyone is born the best be it in looks of Academics but with willpower and determination you can do anything

 

[Malikfiqi]

Nothing good in life comes easy. Don’t underestimate the power of dua. Really sit down and pray not just a for *a* guy, but a guy with all the 100 things you want. Everyone is gonna get married one day but you want to marry the best of the best, so continue to have unwavering stamdards. Youre only 22, don’t panic.

Ps- don’t listen to the xaasidiin that are telling you to ‘shoot your shot’ and flirt with men. Maintain your decorum- I know you’re beautiful somali guys in the west just lack backbone.

Khadijah the wife of the Prophet PBUH “shot her shot”