Any single women on SSpot feel like this sometimes . .

Like you have to lower your standards for a man, just a quick backstory I have five older sisters who are much older than me 10 years+ and 3 are unmarried in their mid 30s. Me being 22, I've been receiving a lot of pressure from my mom to marry quickly but growing up without a real father figure in my life (used me for citizenship and promised to remain close and raise me and then would visit me 2 hours every month and would call me a failure without ever providing or supporting me) I've grown skeptical of men in general, and now my mom keeps finding me these fob guys who either need support into the country or fobs who live here already and both of those raise red flags for me and I told my mom why those wouldn't be good options and she would begin to argue and scream at me when I told her I want to find a good man with a education, open mindedness and maturity someone who I feel wouldn't walk out on me and she told me I was looking for a fairy-tale, WHAT THE f*ck having basic standards is looking for a fairy-tale nowadays?!!! THIS IS COMING FROM A WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GUY WITH A MASTERS DEGREE IN THE 80S IN FUCKING SOMALIA! And you guys can tell me that my moms worried I will become single like my sisters but she's literally done the same thing to them and its not like we have a father to ask. Also alot of Somali guys here (not talking about fobs) are either bums or in school and the ones in school all my life from elementary to even college they dont try to talk to me in a manner of interest EVER, and I honestly have always received more attention from really cute ajnabi guys but im hesitant about that and also im really shy and awkward so I keep my distance afterwards but I find them more attractive and I kinda feel guilty about that and my mom completely disapproves (will do another thread) but any of you girls made to feel like shit like that?
 

kickz

Engineer of Qandala
SIYAASI
VIP
Unmarried women in their mid to late 30s is big problem in the diaspora right now.:farmajoyaab:

At that age maybe go after ajnabi converts as a compromise?:shookgabre:
 
Unmarried women in their mid to late 30s is big problem in the diaspora right now.:farmajoyaab:

At that age maybe go after ajnabi converts as a compromise?:shookgabre:

They have all thought about it and one of my sisters was asked for marriage by this half turkish half white guy when she was 26 but my family refused, they aren't accepting of ajnabis so idk
 

Tukraq

VIP
They have all thought about it and one of my sisters was asked for marriage by this half turkish half white guy when she was 26 but my family refused, they aren't accepting of ajnabis so idk
Shoot your shot at those somali boys, I doubt they would reject you
 

Crow

Make Hobyo Great Again
VIP
Where do you live? It sounds like there is a decent sized Somali community. Why can't your mom connect you to those educated Somali guys? She should speak to their parents to feel them out. Maybe they are looking to get married as well but are just shy or tunnel visioned in on school.
 

Tukraq

VIP
I don’t unerstand why girls never shoot there shot lol, I love doing it, it means you choose who you want to be with:salute:
While girls have to sit around and wait for a guy to maybe ask them out:russ: of course you have to lower your standards if your only pool is those asking you out, unless your a ten it’s probably not a big pool:manny: shoot your shot with Somali men and see your success rate:denzelnigga:
 

Basra

LOVE is a product of Doqoniimo mixed with lust
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
Like you have to lower your standards for a man, just a quick backstory I have five older sisters who are much older than me 10 years+ and 3 are unmarried in their mid 30s. Me being 22, I've been receiving a lot of pressure from my mom to marry quickly but growing up without a real father figure in my life (used me for citizenship and promised to remain close and raise me and then would visit me 2 hours every month and would call me a failure without ever providing or supporting me) I've grown skeptical of men in general, and now my mom keeps finding me these fob guys who either need support into the country or fobs who live here already and both of those raise red flags for me and I told my mom why those wouldn't be good options and she would begin to argue and scream at me when I told her I want to find a good man with a education, open mindedness and maturity someone who I feel wouldn't walk out on me and she told me I was looking for a fairy-tale, WHAT THE f*ck having basic standards is looking for a fairy-tale nowadays?!!! THIS IS COMING FROM A WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GUY WITH A MASTERS DEGREE IN THE 80S IN FUCKING SOMALIA! And you guys can tell me that my moms worried I will become single like my sisters but she's literally done the same thing to them and its not like we have a father to ask. Also alot of Somali guys here (not talking about fobs) are either bums or in school and the ones in school all my life from elementary to even college they dont try to talk to me in a manner of interest EVER, and I honestly have always received more attention from really cute ajnabi guys but im hesitant about that and also im really shy and awkward so I keep my distance afterwards but I find them more attractive and I kinda feel guilty about that and my mom completely disapproves (will do another thread) but any of you girls made to feel like shit like that?

is your qabil Habar awal?
 
Where do you live? It sounds like there is a decent sized Somali community. Why can't your mom connect you to those educated Somali guys? She should speak to their parents to feel them out. Maybe they are looking to get married as well but are just shy or tunnel visioned in on school.

I wish it was that easy, but my mom either doesn't talk to alot of women so idk
 
I don’t unerstand why girls never shoot there shot lol, I love doing it, it means you choose who you want to be with:salute:
While girls have to sit around and wait for a guy to maybe ask them out:russ: of course you have to lower your standards if your only pool is those asking you out, unless your a ten it’s probably not a big pool:manny: shoot your shot with Somali men and see your success rate:denzelnigga:

You make that sound like I never have, I did once and NEVER will again. I used to be basically a whale before losing weight and still have some self esteem issues because of that, and I always assumed if a man truly wanted you there is nothing there to stop him from approaching you, why make yourself easy?
 
Like you have to lower your standards for a man, just a quick backstory I have five older sisters who are much older than me 10 years+ and 3 are unmarried in their mid 30s. Me being 22, I've been receiving a lot of pressure from my mom to marry quickly but growing up without a real father figure in my life (used me for citizenship and promised to remain close and raise me and then would visit me 2 hours every month and would call me a failure without ever providing or supporting me) I've grown skeptical of men in general, and now my mom keeps finding me these fob guys who either need support into the country or fobs who live here already and both of those raise red flags for me and I told my mom why those wouldn't be good options and she would begin to argue and scream at me when I told her I want to find a good man with a education, open mindedness and maturity someone who I feel wouldn't walk out on me and she told me I was looking for a fairy-tale, WHAT THE f*ck having basic standards is looking for a fairy-tale nowadays?!!! THIS IS COMING FROM A WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GUY WITH A MASTERS DEGREE IN THE 80S IN FUCKING SOMALIA! And you guys can tell me that my moms worried I will become single like my sisters but she's literally done the same thing to them and its not like we have a father to ask. Also alot of Somali guys here (not talking about fobs) are either bums or in school and the ones in school all my life from elementary to even college they dont try to talk to me in a manner of interest EVER, and I honestly have always received more attention from really cute ajnabi guys but im hesitant about that and also im really shy and awkward so I keep my distance afterwards but I find them more attractive and I kinda feel guilty about that and my mom completely disapproves (will do another thread) but any of you girls made to feel like shit like that?

First of all 22 is young. But the mid 30s and not married is becoming more common for several reasons. I think a lot of women just sits and wait for perfect guy to turn up without doing any work. Problem with marrying ajnabi is once you start to live together it can be hard when you are from different cultures. A lot of somali women are independent compared to other muslim countries and there is a clash quite often.

But forget mum....do you want to get married. If it is yes. I would join muslim dating site. I would ask mum if she knows someone or her friends does. Unlike gaalo its harder for young muslims to meet up and to know each other. Just cause they introduce someone doesnt mean you marry that person. Talk to these guys, talk to more than one and take your time. You have to make effort in other words
 
Nevermind Shaniqua.

Sorry girl idek what my qabil is
damn.png
 
Its a major problem as many Somali girls are finding it hard finding decent guys.

But remember who you marry, when you marry is calaf. You're only 22 so chill out. A great Somali guy will approach you.
 

Tukraq

VIP
You make that sound like I never have, I did once and NEVER will again. I used to be basically a whale before losing weight and still have some self esteem issues because of that, and I always assumed if a man truly wanted you there is nothing there to stop him from approaching you, why make yourself easy?
I understand if your really attractive and got all types of high quality men throwing themselves at you but if no ones checking for you, it wouldn’t hurt to maybe test the waters and shoot your shot, especially with what happens with your sisters, not all women are what guys would approach so you don’t want to be single for ever,
Find a Somali guy you find really attractive then shoot your shot
 

psyche

To each their own
Your mother is being quite illogical in my opinion.
Like, why is she forcing her youngest to get married?
Anyway you should not feel the need to rush marriage, you should know when you are ready since you are still young.
 
I understand if your really attractive and got all types of high quality men throwing themselves at you but if no ones checking for you, it wouldn’t hurt to maybe test the waters and shoot your shot, especially with what happens with your sisters, not all women are what guys would approach so you don’t want to be single for ever,
Find a Somali guy you find really attractive then shoot your shot

I am attractive now that I've lost weight, that I can almost gurantee and ajnabi's always shoot their shot with me but somali guys never do and why would I approach a man when I have men showing interest already?
 

kickz

Engineer of Qandala
SIYAASI
VIP
You make that sound like I never have, I did once and NEVER will again. I used to be basically a whale before losing weight and still have some self esteem issues because of that, and I always assumed if a man truly wanted you there is nothing there to stop him from approaching you, why make yourself easy?

Its not about making yourself easy, its about pursuing what you want.

Khadija approached our Prophet for marriage and he accepted.
 
Your mother is being quite illogical in my opinion.
Like, why is she forcing her youngest to get married?
Anyway you should not feel the need to rush marriage, you should know when you are ready since you are still young.

My mom got married when she was 18 so she thinks my clock is ticking and gets more impatient while seeing my sisters so I can understand and its part of the culture I guess but Somali culture can sometimes be illogical
 
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