Any single women on SSpot feel like this sometimes . .

[World]

Rude remark mate. You have no chill do you?

Also, she's mentioned men do approach, but its just Somali guys that don't. Its been a running joke that western Somali guys shoot their shot via social media. They could be too intimidated to try it in real life.

Being aloof, socially awkward or overly boujee definitely stop men from approaching.

Can you read?

She said that somali guys hit up all her friends (even said ALL THE TIME )

Just not her

Look I see Somali guys shoot their shots at my friends all the time and they barely do anything, and I do not know the first thing on how to flirt. I always think maybe I might look too easy or they will think I look too thirsty.

Obviously she needs to improve her looks if she wants men to go for her. It’s not rude, it’s just the truth.

 

[World]

Its a major problem as many Somali girls are finding it hard finding decent guys.

But remember who you marry, when you marry is calaf. You're only 22 so chill out. A great Somali guy will approach you.

It’s a major problem that ugly girls all around the world face

Not just somali girls

Any good looking girl automatically has 5+ good looking guys with good jobs interested in her at any time.

 

[HalimaJ]

Can you read?

She said that somali guys hit up all her friends

Just not her



Obviously she needs to improve her looks if she wants men to go for her. It’s not rude, it’s just the truth.

Can you read?

She said that somali guys hit up all her friends (even said ALL THE TIME )

Just not her



Obviously she needs to improve her looks if she wants men to go for her. It’s not rude, it’s just the truth.

She could have a resting face and be socially awkward.


I've had people tell me they were too afraid or found it awks to approach me even though they wanted to because of the way I came across.

I don't have that problem any more as i'm just chill now.

 

[Emily]

Age is not a big deal

 

[Lostbox]

You are told since you can remember to keep your distance from men, they only want one thing from you and to especially not date any man.

Then you a throw in to the dating scene and expected to know what to do even though you have no idea.

 

[Yaquub]

Like you have to lower your standards for a man, just a quick backstory I have five older sisters who are much older than me 10 years+ and 3 are unmarried in their mid 30s. Me being 22, I've been receiving a lot of pressure from my mom to marry quickly but growing up without a real father figure in my life (used me for citizenship and promised to remain close and raise me and then would visit me 2 hours every month and would call me a failure without ever providing or supporting me) I've grown skeptical of men in general, and now my mom keeps finding me these fob guys who either need support into the country or fobs who live here already and both of those raise red flags for me and I told my mom why those wouldn't be good options and she would begin to argue and scream at me when I told her I want to find a good man with a education, open mindedness and maturity someone who I feel wouldn't walk out on me and she told me I was looking for a fairy-tale, WHAT THE f*ck having basic standards is looking for a fairy-tale nowadays?!!! THIS IS COMING FROM A WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GUY WITH A MASTERS DEGREE IN THE 80S IN FUCKING SOMALIA! And you guys can tell me that my moms worried I will become single like my sisters but she's literally done the same thing to them and its not like we have a father to ask. Also alot of Somali guys here (not talking about fobs) are either bums or in school and the ones in school all my life from elementary to even college they dont try to talk to me in a manner of interest EVER, and I honestly have always received more attention from really cute ajnabi guys but im hesitant about that and also im really shy and awkward so I keep my distance afterwards but I find them more attractive and I kinda feel guilty about that and my mom completely disapproves (will do another thread) but any of you girls made to feel like shit like that?

Most men are skeptical about good girls nowadays but I hope you find some good guy. There are some out there just try to tell your mum you want some one around your age.

 

[Yaquub]

I don’t unerstand why girls never shoot there shot lol, I love doing it, it means you choose who you want to be with
While girls have to sit around and wait for a guy to maybe ask them out of course you have to lower your standards if your only pool is those asking you out, unless your a ten it’s probably not a big pool shoot your shot with Somali men and see your success rate

I don't know how attractive she is but even if she's not that attractive. I'm sure she can find a decent guy like @4head that is shy but decent. As for your sisters they are getting a bit old and some of my aunties were left unmarried until they could no longer have kids. My advice at that point is to find a good man and be a second wife. Atleast you won't have to be alone and could have kids.

 

[halwa]

Like you have to lower your standards for a man, just a quick backstory I have five older sisters who are much older than me 10 years+ and 3 are unmarried in their mid 30s. Me being 22, I've been receiving a lot of pressure from my mom to marry quickly but growing up without a real father figure in my life (used me for citizenship and promised to remain close and raise me and then would visit me 2 hours every month and would call me a failure without ever providing or supporting me) I've grown skeptical of men in general, and now my mom keeps finding me these fob guys who either need support into the country or fobs who live here already and both of those raise red flags for me and I told my mom why those wouldn't be good options and she would begin to argue and scream at me when I told her I want to find a good man with a education, open mindedness and maturity someone who I feel wouldn't walk out on me and she told me I was looking for a fairy-tale, WHAT THE f*ck having basic standards is looking for a fairy-tale nowadays?!!! THIS IS COMING FROM A WOMAN WHO MARRIED A GUY WITH A MASTERS DEGREE IN THE 80S IN FUCKING SOMALIA! And you guys can tell me that my moms worried I will become single like my sisters but she's literally done the same thing to them and its not like we have a father to ask. Also alot of Somali guys here (not talking about fobs) are either bums or in school and the ones in school all my life from elementary to even college they dont try to talk to me in a manner of interest EVER, and I honestly have always received more attention from really cute ajnabi guys but im hesitant about that and also im really shy and awkward so I keep my distance afterwards but I find them more attractive and I kinda feel guilty about that and my mom completely disapproves (will do another thread) but any of you girls made to feel like shit like that?

Sis, the right man will come for you. Don’t feel pressured to get married. Most parents do this out of fear that their daughters might reach a stage that will hinder their chances of getting married and pregnant.

Just focus on you and your education for now. I’m pretty certain you look 100/100 and any man that says so otherwise needs a reality check. Don’t compare yourself to anybody else. We all have an assigned Abdi to marry..... eventually.

I have a whole line of female aunties and cousins that are in their 30s and 40s who are not married yet. They have just started to get married.

 

[4head]

I don't know how attractive she is but even if she's not that attractive. I'm sure she can find a decent guy like @4head that is shy but decent. As for your sisters they are getting a bit old and some of my aunties were left unmarried until they could no longer have kids. My advice at that point is to find a good man and be a second wife. Atleast you won't have to be alone and could have kids.

I'm not a decent guy, quite below average tbh

 

[East side]

It’s a major problem that ugly girls all around the world face

Not just somali girls

Any good looking girl automatically has 5+ good looking guys with good jobs interested in her at any time.

Naah sometimes its the vibe a girl gives. Sometimes I see a beautiful girl and she gives a vibe of dont even approach. Its understandable as a lot of guys or creeps. But even if a guy approachs he makes decision on the first conversation. What she said is true for a lot of somali girls. I dont want to come across easy. They worry way too much on how they are viewed

 

[4head]

Good luck for finding a "good" man! It's a part of life, finding a mate is difficult.
I would suggest you to be more assertive with your choice and live your life. You're young and you have just ONE LIFE. So do the best you can and Somali men are everywhere, you'll find the good one.

Have a nice day tbh

 

[XaawoLuul]

Nothing good in life comes easy. Don’t underestimate the power of dua. Really sit down and pray not just a for *a* guy, but a guy with all the 100 things you want. Everyone is gonna get married one day but you want to marry the best of the best, so continue to have unwavering stamdards. Youre only 22, don’t panic.

Ps- don’t listen to the xaasidiin that are telling you to ‘shoot your shot’ and flirt with men. Maintain your decorum- I know you’re beautiful somali guys in the west just lack backbone.

 

[East side]

Nothing good in life comes easy. Don’t underestimate the power of dua. Really sit down and pray not just a for *a* guy, but a guy with all the 100 things you want. Everyone is gonna get married one day but you want to marry the best of the best, so continue to have unwavering stamdards. Youre only 22, don’t panic.

Ps- don’t listen to the xaasidiin that are telling you to ‘shoot your shot’ and flirt with men. Maintain your decorum- I know you’re beautiful somali guys in the west just lack backbone.

No one says hit on guys. But be more approachable, talk to people. Saying to someone just sit and wait and someone will turn up is not helpful. This world dont wait for anyone

 

[XaawoLuul]

No one says hit on guys. But be more approachable, talk to people. Saying to someone just sit and wait and someone will turn up is not helpful. This world dont wait for anyone

Women were always the ones pursued but since some of you somali guys want to act like teenage girls with social anxiety you want these poor women to help your sorry selves

Abaayo learn to always smile but other than that don’t feel like you have to talk to guys anymore than you currently do, at the end of the day you want a real man to be your husband and leader of your home, not just any little Abdi.

 

[4head]

Women were always the ones pursued but since some of you somali guys want to act like teenage girls with social anxiety you want these poor women to help your sorry selves

Abaayo learn to always smile but other than that don’t feel like you have to talk to guys anymore than you currently do, at the end of the day you want a real man to be your husband and leader of your home, not just any little Abdi.

If you truely believe that ancient women didn't make things easier, then you are lying to yourself. In life,you have to be proactive.
She's young, 22 years old. She's in a competition with younger and older women. If now she can't attract any somali man, then she won't in the future. She needs to choose and act.
Old ladies, espacially in the West, used to be proactive. They used to make things easier for their men and pursue the ones they wanted.
There's nothing wrong with that, espacially since the sister is living in the West. The West is a feminist region, men and women HAVE to be equal according to the laws and social norms. Women pursue then the men they desire the most.
Somali women who live in the West should do the same otherwise they will be remain single.

 

[XaawoLuul]

If you truely believe that ancient women didn't make things easier, then you are lying to yourself. In life,you have to be proactive.
She's young, 22 years old. She's in a competition with younger and older women. If now she can't attract any somali man, then she won't in the future. She needs to choose and act.
Old ladies, espacially in the West, used to be proactive. They used to make things easier for their men and pursue the ones they wanted.
There's nothing wrong with that, espacially since the sister is living in the West. The West is a feminist region, men and women HAVE to be equal according to the laws and social norms. Women pursue then the men they desire the most.
Somali women who live in the West should do the same otherwise they will be remain single.

A man that needs to be encouraged to pursue a woman ? *Yawn* That’s not a man.....next!

 

[Finesse]

Focus on yourself, get to know yourself, find out what your likes/dislikes are. Figure out what your negative/positive traits are. Work on your communication skills and most importantly, your connection to Allah.

Allah does not deny his servant anything unless it's not right for you or not the right time for you.

Marriage is WORK and it requires maturity, patience and compromise. Therefore, be grateful to Allah that you have time to focus on YOU because once you get married, you have to learn to share your time to make others happy.

Your time will come.

Do NOT lower your standards, lower your gaze and make duah.
Don't pursue men unless you want to be the Alpha in whatever relationship that results in.

 

[Finesse]

A man that needs to be encouraged to pursue a woman ? *Yawn* That’s not a man.....next!

If a man wants a woman, he knows how to find her, there are no excuses.
If a man is too lazy to pursue you, he will be too lazy to treat you like a lady.

 

[4head]

A man that needs to be encouraged to pursue a woman ? *Yawn* That’s not a man.....next!

LOL ok keep having that attitude. Enjoy celibacy in the West.
Or you're planning on going back home?

 

[4head]

If a man wants a woman, he knows how to find her, there are no excuses.

I don't know where you live but it goes both ways these days. 50/50 in restaurant, and both sexes pursue what they want.
It takes a strong caractere for that, it seems Somali women are lacking this.
Good luck in the West tho! Everyone believes in equality and feminism here, not those tradtionnal gender roles.
Pursue what you want otherwise find a traditionnal somali man back home.