Would you guys marry a single mother ?

[Amk]

If that is the case, why then we earn extra reward for marrying widowed and divorcee? The problem with literalists is you take hadiths in isolation. We have both recommendations, so we have to apply logic to it.

Islam is recognizing virgins have more market pool when it comes to getting married than widowed and divorcees; therefore, it is providing an extra reward and encouragement for Muslims to marry widowed and divorced women. At the same time, Islam doesn't want to create injustice towards virgins, so hence the recommendation to marry virgins as well. That is fair and balanced.

Lastly, instead of running with 1 hadith, approach the topic wholly. This is why early Muslims recommended us that when it comes to fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence), we follow one of the 4 madhabs. This whole new exercise that every Tom and Jerry is gonna run with 1 hadith without taking the whole context into the equation is dangerous, and it does disservice to Islam.

There is no evidence to say that there is more reward in marrying a widow than a virgin.
That lecture is not evidence of that, mufti menk 1. isnt a scholar and 2. Doesnt provide evidence that there is more reward than marrying a virgin.

 

[Amk]

Erm, he was young men that was never married?! I think correct me If I am wrong but he was a teen!

Obviously a virgin would be better for a young never married man.

Nope, he had sisters to take care of therefore his situation necessitated an experienced women would discipline them

 

[Amk]

If that is the case, why then we earn extra reward for marrying widowed and divorcee? The problem with literalists is you take hadiths in isolation. We have both recommendations, so we have to apply logic to it.

Islam is recognizing virgins have more market pool when it comes to getting married than widowed and divorcees; therefore, it is providing an extra reward and encouragement for Muslims to marry widowed and divorced women. At the same time, Islam doesn't want to create injustice towards virgins, so hence the recommendation to marry virgins as well. That is fair and balanced.

Lastly, instead of running with 1 hadith, approach the topic wholly. This is why early Muslims recommended us that when it comes to fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence), we follow one of the 4 madhabs. This whole new exercise that every Tom and Jerry is gonna run with 1 hadith without taking the whole context into the equation is dangerous, and it does disservice to Islam.

Btw its mustahab for a virgin man to marry a virgin girl.
Mustahab meaning prefered, meaning it is more reward.
Everything in Islam is about reward.

 

[mrlog]

You’re not the spokesperson of men. You are just mrlog. What’s with people thinking they’re the spokesperson of their gender? Whatever Ladylike is saying is wildly unpopular for most women imo. Average woman ain’t interested in being with a single dad.

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[Ghengis Kaarhis]

Couldn't be me

 

[Man with a garuun]

There is no evidence to say that there is more reward in marrying a widow than a virgin.
That lecture is not evidence of that, mufti menk 1. isnt a scholar and 2. Doesnt provide evidence that there is more reward than marrying a virgin.

Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The person who strives on behalf of the widows and poor is like those who strive in the way of Allah and like those who fast in the day and pray at night.”

All of the wives (ra) of the Prophet [scw] were either widowed or divorcee except Aisha (ra). There is a clear example to Muslims there as well.

 

[Man with a garuun]

Btw its mustahab for a virgin man to marry a virgin girl.
Mustahab meaning prefered, meaning it is more reward.
Everything in Islam is about reward.

The first wife of Prophet Muhammad (scw), Khadija (ra), was widowed twice before she married the Prophet (scw). If the Prophet's first wife was already married twice before she married him, what is the "mustahab" that you're imposing here? It doesn't add up.

Marrying virgins, widowed, and divorcee are all equally recommended.

 

[Amk]

The first wife of Prophet Muhammad (scw), Khadija (ra), was widowed twice before she married the Prophet (scw). If the Prophet's first wife was already married twice before she married him, what is the "mustahab" that you're imposing here? It doesn't add up.

Marrying virgins, widowed, and divorcee are all equally recommended.

Islam didnt even exist back then. Faulty argument. The prophet ﷺ didnt pray 5x a day back then doesnt mean its ok for us to do that now. Everything that is mustahabb is based on Islam, not what came before Islam.

 

[Amk]

Abu Hurayra (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The person who strives on behalf of the widows and poor is like those who strive in the way of Allah and like those who fast in the day and pray at night.”

All of the wives (ra) of the Prophet [scw] were either widowed or divorcee except Aisha (ra). There is a clear example to Muslims there as well.

Yes thats true. But it doesnt mean it gives more reward than marrying a virgin.

 

[Amk]

All of the wives (ra) of the Prophet [scw] were either widowed or divorcee except Aisha (ra). There is a clear example to Muslims there as well.

Yes and Aaishah was the most beloved to him ﷺ because she was a virgin before marriage

 

[Amk]

The first wife of Prophet Muhammad (scw), Khadija (ra), was widowed twice before she married the Prophet (scw). If the Prophet's first wife was already married twice before she married him, what is the "mustahab" that you're imposing here? It doesn't add up.

Marrying virgins, widowed, and divorcee are all equally recommended.

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/27173/he-married-a-widow-and-his-family-objects

 

[anonimo]

Lol, it really isn't delusional. We live in man's world in which women are often tested more so than men and mistreated. Lets not normalise that shit, becauase if the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn't. Your gender cry about the injustices of the courts when we have young women being raped back home and men are getting away with it whilst her life is ruined becaue society has deemed her used goods.

Also, by the way saying shit is 'dire' had nothing to do with gender equality I was merely talking about the state of high divorces amongst the young in general.

All in all, nothing is delusional about what i'm saying, because you know it's true but women pointing it out makes you uncomfortable, which unfortunately makes you also part of the problem.

Apart from the Prophet SAWS and probably your Aabo, every Mfkin human being with meat and veg is part of the problem i bet.

 

[Angelina]

Apart from the Prophet SAWS and probably your Aabo, every Mfkin human being with meat and veg is part of the problem i bet.

Loool i'm done with this topic.

I've crusaded against the Farax race, now i'm entitled to rest.

 

[Qeelbax]

Sometimes the person is great though. So you have to get rid of the kids. When a lion takes over a herd, he pushes the other mans kids out of the way. They can become a threat later

I would like to see jannah

 

[Abdisamad]

Yes if she's a good woman I don't mind, I'll also support her with the kids and be their new aabo.

 

[World]

If she isn’t an unmarried virgin then I don’t want her.

 

[Periplus]

I ain’t a got an issue tbh. I wouldn’t specifically look for a single mum but if the woman I’m compatible with is a single mum then I don’t mind.

But I would have to make sure that I’m fully committed before I do anything as another broken household will be too much for any kid.

 

[Man with a garuun]

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/27173/he-married-a-widow-and-his-family-objects

If we look at the hadith (shown below), which is included in that link that you referenced, and then try to digest it, we can get several things that have relevance here: 1) Age of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (ra); 2) age of his sisters; 3) age of the previously married woman; 4) virgin woman; 5) the concern that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (ra) that he had for his sisters;

On the first point, the Prophet (ra) asked him why didn't he marry a virgin. In my view, Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (ra) may have been a younger man, and the Prophet (scw) was recommending him to marry a younger woman. The virgin here could be understood as someone who is much younger.

On the second point, Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (ra) wanted a wifey who is very mature (#3) that can provide guidance to his sisters. This is where the age and maturity of the woman that he was marrying was very relevant. It also explains that the virgin referenced (#4) here is about age because if a Muslima never married but an older age, she is still a virgin. So why then the sahabi Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (ra) wouldn't go for an older woman who has never been married? She is a virgin if we take it the way you see it, so why didn't he go for it? Due to her age, experience, and knowledge in the deen, she could've raised those girls while she was a virgin, so why didn't he go for a woman who fits in all of that if the intention is to find a woman who is never been married?

This is where we need to understand that the virgin referenced here isn't about a woman who has never married before only and of course didn't have an intercourse; the virgin here is a young girl. And it does indicate to me Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (ra) was a younger man who needed a mature woman who could provide guidance and take care of his sisters. In other words, he needed a much older woman than a younger man - who is being recorded the hadith as "virgin".

Third, the Prophet (scw) told him “You did the right thing" by marrying a mature woman who can provide a motherly figure to his sisters here. Again, age and maturity does have a relevance here. The Prophet (scw) also made dua for Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (ra): "He said, 'May Allaah bless you,' or he said good words to me. "

Finally, the Prophet (scw) also stated "For women may be married for their religious commitment, their wealth or their beauty. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” At the end, women's eman and her religious commitment have far greater importance than being virgin, divorced, or widowed. There that your "mustahab for virginity" is overtaken by the woman's eman and piousness.

Al-Bukhaari (4052) and Muslim (715) narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me: “Have you got married, O Jaabir?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “To a virgin or to a previously-married woman?” I said, “To a previously-married woman, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “Why not a young girl with whom you could play and she could play with you?” I said, “My father was killed on the day of Uhud, and he left behind nine daughters. I did not like to bring to them someone like them, and I wanted to bring a woman who could look after them and guide them.” He said, “May Allaah bless you,” or he said good words to me. According to one report he said, “You did the right thing.” And according to a version narrated by Muslim, “Then that is better. For women may be married for their religious commitment, their wealth or their beauty. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”

 

[reer]

I ain’t a got an issue tbh. I wouldn’t specifically look for a single mum but if the woman I’m compatible with is a single mum then I don’t mind.

But I would have to make sure that I’m fully committed before I do anything as another broken household will be too much for any kid.

the son would have loyalty to his dad. and you cant discipline him like youre own kid. if she has a daughter its 10x easier. she can discipline her own flesh and blood.

 

[Shimbiris]

Loool i'm done with this topic.

I've crusaded against the Farax race, now i'm entitled to rest.

@Angelina in full regalia for the 1000th jihad against the grand Faraaxate. But now she is departing to regroup for future warfare.