Would you guys marry a single mother ?

[Angelina]

Equal timings back home? Give me a break. Some guys will marry women based in different cities or different Xaafads. It is only the religiously minded that fear for their Akhira, the average polygamous joe don't give a fu.ck about Xuquq. The women agree to such an arrangement not out of choice but Danta Waa Kuu Qasbo.

It is some Fish N Chips single mothers and the men that frequent them who pose a greater fitnah in the diaspora society, not the FOB second wife Xalimos. Fish N Chip single mothers are free, generally not Gaajo and if they do not have strong religious or cultural values, they gonna fu.ck who they want in their own home, Ajnabi or Somali. It is a fuc.ked up world out there.

I'm talking about tradition. Not now in Somalia. In fact back home is worse than the West as fitah and rafaad is rife due to the civil war and fathers are marrying off their daughters to men they know will only come back one month in a year.

Mate, single women who don't fear Allah also pose a problem. So do single men, so do married men. Heck all sorts of people pose problems, so you're telling me that the solutions is no strings attached marriages?!

Sex without responsibility isn't a concept in Islam and the religion isn't going to change for people with no morals and emaan.

 

[anonimo]

I'm talking about tradition. Not now in Somalia. In fact back home is worse than the West as fitah and rafaad is rife due to the civil war and fathers are marrying off their daughters to men they know will only come back one month in a year.

Mate, single women who don't fear Allah also pose a problem. So do men, so do married men. Heck all sorts of people pose problems, so you're telling me that the solutions is no strings attached marriages?!

No I am just saying, it is better than Zina and the effed up shit that goes on out there. It is also not strictly no strings attached, these women expect financial compensation and a lot are content with not having to labour for a man on a daily basis, less responsibility etc. If all parties are happy, Halleluja!

Who talked about changing the religion. These people have a normal Nikah. Thy just decide between themselves how they attend to each other from a marital perspective.

 

[Man with a garuun]

That's one thing the wannabe step-daddies on here aren't taking into account. People, and men specifically, will always prefer their own biological off-spring so there's no way of avoiding some level of favouritism. Not to mention the fact that disciplining a child that isn't your own can be very very awkward to say the least. It ultimately boils down to not having the same parental rights the biological father has, whilst having to shoulder the burdens of parenthood. It's a lose lose situation for most men.

I love how based and rational Somali women are, cadaan doofars and madoow women would be fucking SCREECHING if their male counterparts voiced any of these opinions. You guys are a blessing wallahi lol

But British and the rest of European taxpayers have raised you guys with their hard-earned money, so how what you preached here is different than that? If you live in a council-funded and subsidized by the British or the other European taxpayers, and/or if your family still receives caydh/ceer, it is basically the British or the European taxpayers raising you guys.

At the end, when you marry a single mom with a child, you marry the parent. And as part of the marriage commitment, you accept what is dear to your spouse. It is not deal breaker to abandon a marriage with a wonderful woman simply because your prospective wife has a child from a previous marriage. Somali woman usually do their best to make sure they don't overburden their husbands with children from their previous marriages. However, if she needs your help for that child, even though he or she is not your child, you should step up to the plate - the same way that she would've done it had you been a single father.

For instance, my wife's uncle had his wife died about roughly 5 years ago. She left behind 4 babies. He married a single woman. She helped him with the kids, and as far as I know they have a baby together. His kids from the previous marriage have a loving step-mom today. And that is the story of a decent, loving couple.

 

[Angelina]

No I am just saying, it is better than Zina and the effed up shit that goes on out there. It is also not strictly no strings attached, these women expect financial compensation and a lot are content with not having to labour for a man on a daily basis, less responsibility etc. If all parties are happy, Halleluja!

Sex without responsibility isn't a concept in Islam and the religion isn't going to change for people with no morals and emaan.

 

[anonimo]

Sex without responsibility isn't a concept in Islam and the religion isn't going to change for people with no morals and emaan.

I added to my last post.

As for immorality, they are not doing haram sexually speaking. As for Emaan, that argument can be used against so much of what we diaspora and even folk back home do. Live and let live!

 

[Murtaax]

Most people don’t want to raise kids that are not theirs. People are just more honest online. In real life I would tell you offcourse. Kids are blessing and keep it moving.

Diinteena ciyaar ciyaar maaha, shariah wise most fathers are given full custody of the children once the ex-wife gets remarried.

Benefits money have gassed up women in the west. In Somalia if a woman gets remarried, her new husband will always push her to send the kid/kids back to their father, only exception is if they are orphans.

No man wants to raise a child that isn't his...especially if the father is around and kicking.

 

[Bundasliga]

Then don't marry a 2nd time then. Islam is pretty strict with time. You need to spend equal time. You cannot spend more time with one wife. That is why polygamy isn't the right of every man which Somalis falsely believe. It is the right/privileges of men that have the time and money.

What about when the wife doesn't want to spend time as much as the other ? Do you force it to be equal?
What if 1 of them want to spend significantly more ? Do you deny it on the bases its not equal anymore?

 

[Amk]

Yeah but Mohamed married Khadija before he was even a Muslim. The Waxy and revelation of Jibriil to Mohamed happened after he married Khadija so it's not really Sunnah but a a fact before the existence of Islam.

use ﷺ after mentioning his name

 

[Amk]

That is probably the dumbest logic i've heard men use. I've never seen a Muslim woman say this, only men.

The main reason why a Muslim woman would not want her husband to marry again is because she doesn't want her husband with another women. A cheating man is still with another woman, but worse.

So why would a woman be okay with cheating, but not polygamy?

Cheating is sexual infidelity whereas marrying a 2nd wife is emotional infidelity
Some women would prefer there man to relieve his lust with another woman rather than marry a second wife as woman want to feel emotionally valued and are very attached and jealous of there husbands so it would be easier for them as a couple to let the other one just get quick relief, instead of ruining their entire relationship by adding a third wheel and making the man less emotionally attached to his first wife which wold cause her great pain.

 

[Amk]

What about when the wife doesn't want to spend time as much as the other ? Do you force it to be equal?
What if 1 of them want to spend significantly more ? Do you deny it on the bases its not equal anymore?

Sawdah RA gave up her nights for Aaishah so it is not necessarily bad, she did this as she was getting old and she knew the prophet ﷺ loved Aaishah more and she didnt have any interest for s3x anymore and she feared bc of that the prophet ﷺ divorced her.

 

[Bundasliga]

Sawdah RA gave up her nights for Aaishah so it is not necessarily bad, she did this as she was getting old and she knew the prophet ﷺ loved Aaishah more and she didnt have any interest for s3x anymore and she feared bc of that the prophet ﷺ divorced her.

Yeah as long all parties are happy I don't see any problems.
This forced equal treatment doesn't reason with me . Everyone is different & therefore everyone has & wants different needs .

 

[Angelina]

Cheating is sexual infidelity whereas marrying a 2nd wife is emotional infidelity
Some women would prefer there man to relieve his lust with another woman rather than marry a second wife as woman want to feel emotionally valued and are very attached and jealous of there husbands so it would be easier for them as a couple to let the other one just get quick relief, instead of ruining their entire relationship by adding a third wheel and making the man less emotionally attached to his first wife which wold cause her great pain.

He is still sleeping with the 2nd wife. So for them it will feel like sexual cheating AND emotional cheating.

 

[Amk]

He is still sleeping with the 2nd wife. So for them it will feel like sexual cheating AND emotional cheating.

Thats exactly why muslim women would prefer to have their husbands cheat on them with a random women then get another wife.

 

[Amk]

Yeah as long all parties are happy I don't see any problems.
This forced equal treatment doesn't reason with me . Everyone is different & therefore everyone has & wants different needs .

Yes if one wife has more kids and one wife has none then u should spend more days with the wife with more kids bc u need to spend time with them

 

[Angelina]

Thats exactly why muslim women would prefer to have their husbands cheat on them with a random women then get another wife.

You have no proof. No Muslim woman says this. The only people that say this are the ones that think a woman not wanting to be in a polygamous marriage means that she is okay with her man cheating when there is 0 correlation.

Men that cheat can still end up being in an emotional relationship. Also, women are by nature jealous so the idea of their husband being physically with another woman behind their back, embarrassing them and potentially bringing STIs isn't something they will prefer.

 

[Amk]

You have no proof. No Muslim woman says this. The only people that say this are the ones that think a woman not wanting to be in a polygamous marriage means that she is okay with her man cheating when there is 0 correlation.

Men that cheat can still end up being in an emotional relationship. Also, women are by nature jealous so the idea of their husband being physically with another woman behind their back, embarrassing them and potentially bringing STIs isn't something they will prefer.

Ive heard muslim woman on social media saying this.
Would u rather ur husband have a one night stand with another woman or marry a second one?