Really? I feel like they glorify it. Somali women hate being tied down to a man so even when they are married it’s like they are single mothers with a second income. And then the men like being lazy and praise the girls doing every thing by themselves. I don’t even remember the last time a seen a household where the dad wasn’t (in the words inquisitive) a “toothless ceremonial figure” lol
But the single mom group is a good idea. It’ll give the more isolated single mothers a chance to network, find baby sitters, daycares etc
My whole thesis is that our female's in the diaspora force these Fathers into those toothless ceremonial position.
There are really two types of fathers, the first one is the macho thick idiot who will try to enforce his authority in the house, these ones end up being divorced in huge numbers (hence why you don't see them)
Then you have the calculative strategic long-term thinking fathers (few) who realise the reality of the situation, they accept this subservient toothless role because they truly care about their children.
They endure this humiliation with patience and perseverance until their children reach proper maturity, before they move back to Somalia to marry again in peace and dignity.
The latter is now becoming the talk of the community as well as being the main topic in those Xaalimo only phone group chats, but of course as always they portray themselves as the victims in all of this.
When you feel entitled, introspection and deep reflection goes out of the window and as a result you will never learn nor reach far in life, the whole concept of taking responsibility for your actions is alien to them
Let's do a case study with a community that has similar female's like us with the same hot temperament and in many cases are even worse on average.
This is the Algerian community, so what stops these female's from going crazy like our Xaalimo's have in the diaspora?
How do these Fathers still run their households in a society and land that has completely stripped from all power?
1. Robust community cohesion.
Something we of course lack, the complete and utter alienation from your community serves as bulk-ward to the type of shameless shenanigans that are rife in our community, were you see our crazed Xaalimo's not only coming out against her Husband but also their Mothers, Father's and Brothers.
These communities have such robust cohesion that the family determines who the son/daughter marries and both have tremendous respect as well as fear towards this institution, no son or daughter would dare to come against it.
To the contrary our Xaalimo's look down on this type of thing, instead they fend for themselves on the streets and the more religious ones sign up to Salafi mosques without the input of their Mothers, Father or Brothers.
Forget about community cohesion, there isn't even a blood family cohesion with us.
2. Threat of gruesome death and violence.
This is the one thing that the Algerian's, the Arab's and Pakistani's have in common which the Farax's lack because we don't have this culture, in fact we grant our females the types of freedoms that no other Muslim community gives.
What did we get in return? mass divorce that boggles the mind, and those that survived are toothless, destitute humiliated ceremonial figures that have zero authority in the house.
Regardless what your opinions are, you cannot deny that the threat of death serves as a bulwark against many of the types of shameless shenanigans that have become common with our Xaalimo's.
A case in point is the common shameless stunt carried out by our Xaalimo's whenever she has a serious dispute with her husbands by putting all of his belongings in a black bin bag that is placed outside the front-door to greet him on arrival.
The hot temperament Algerian female knows that if she ever pulled such a stunt, her lifeless disembowelled corps will end up in those same bin bags she put out that evening.
3. Looking down on divorced females
This is another element all the other communities share except us, in fact it's normal for our females to marry several times, you will regularly find a single mum on her 3th, 4th and even 5th marriage.
When divorce is no longer a big deal, it turns into a joke destroying your entire community in the process.
The rest of the Muslim communities make divorce into such a big deal and attach so much stigma to it, that everyone takes it incredibly serious because there is a big chance you will never marry again.
Even the Christian community does this.
