My experience of modern day somali Guur part 1

[Adan]

This thread is making me stress about what my future husband will say. I don’t mind if I don’t get my mehr right away it could be 1 year after, god forbid divorce or 10 years later.

Don't call that stress!! Imagine someone expecting u to be successful paying meher the expensive wedding the expensive honeymoon and the house...u don't have the stress level of men sweety come down!!

 

[Jake from State Farm]

This thread is making me stress about what my future husband will say. I don’t mind if I don’t get my mehr right away it could be 1 year after, god forbid divorce or 10 years later.

Most of the dudes here are 17-23. Most are in school and are pretty broke.

I’m 21. I am a college student who works part time. Currently broke af. My idea of paying thousands of dollars in mehr is pretty negative since I thought for like around 20 years that only Indians participate in that stuff.

I don’t know what future Jerome will think about this topic when he is ready to get married.

Right now it still seems crazy cause I can just date and marry some random non Muslim for free.


my opinion is pretty simple. If I know the chick I’m considering to marry can afford a mehr that she wants me to pay than yea. I wouldn’t pay no high amount if the chick can’t even afford the amount she wants.

 

[Emily]

we got school to worry about, bills to take care of. Hobbies that we want to do and etc.

I haven’t met one Somali dude my age or around my age legit talking about saving up for mehr and a wedding. Most of us are more focused on passing our classes and just hanging out whenever we have free time from school.

Plus the ones that do work most work only part time. Since their in school. Part time money usually goes to gas, food, some of my friends help with bills at home, and other miscellaneous things like video games, saving up to buy a car, and etc.

Niggas are trying to live life and have a good time and survive with some of the money they earn rn.

? How classy
Your parents should’ve taught y’all how to be responsible and save money. My fiancé has been saving money since he started working at the age of 16 cause his parents taught him how to be self sufficient and have his own money in the bank. He is going to pay all of the wedding expenses, honeymoon, and he will still have money left to put down for mortgage.

 

[YourBroMoe]

Damn this is spicy.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

? How classy
Your parents should’ve taught y’all how to be responsible and save money. My fiancé has been saving money since he started working at the age of 16 cause his parents taught him how to be self sufficient and have his own money in the bank. He is going to pay all of the wedding expenses, honeymoon, and he will still have money left to put down for mortgage.

Congrats? You want a cookie?

Nigga no one legit gives af about your boyfriend.


Everyone travels down different paths.

 

[YourBroMoe]

Somali men always crying about Meher, if you wanted a cheap woman go back to Africa and give her 100 dollars meher. No educated girl will accept such insult as 5k for Meher. Stop crying, take a loan if you have to and marry her or leave her be. Her mother is right, she raised her daughter, put her through school and she will not let a man who doesn't suit her take her for 5k. Are you out of your mind? Stay in your hooyo's house if you can't pay Meher. Always calcaaling about Meher price.

Do you got 10k you can bank on the spot? If not, STFU wit ya broke ass!

 

[Buraanbur911]

Don't call that stress!! Imagine someone expecting u to be successful paying meher the expensive wedding the expensive honeymoon and the house...u don't have the stress level of men sweety come down!!

Horta you should be successful either way because you are in the West and have the opportunity to. what woman will only allow her husband to pay for the house that’s ridiculous! Anything else we can contribute just take care of your mehr man

 

[Adan]

Horta you should be successful either way because you are in the West and have the opportunity to. what woman will only allow her husband to pay for the house that’s ridiculous! Anything else we can contribute just take care of your mehr man

What's successful to u????

 

[Buraanbur911]

Most of the dudes here are 17-23. Most are in sc

I’m 21. I am a college student who works part time. Currently broke af. My idea of paying thousands of dollars in mehr is pretty negative since I thought for like around 20 years that only Indians participate in that stuff.

I don’t know what future Jerome will think about this topic when he is ready to get married.

Right now it still seems crazy cause I can just date and marry some random non Muslim for free.


my opinion is pretty simple. If I know the chick I’m considering to marry can afford a mehr that she wants me to pay than yea. I wouldn’t pay no high amount if the chick can’t even afford the amount she wants.

Yeah everyone’s view of marriage will change once they’re ready to settle down. I agree how you said if she can’t pay her own mehr then no. I always say girls should also place something on the table as well

 

[Buraanbur911]

What's successful to u????

Successful is someone who is financially secure and has a stable job in a field they enjoy!

 

[Adan]

Successful is someone who is financially secure and has a stable job in a field they enjoy!

Financially stable??? How much we talking yearly??

 

[Emily]

Congrats? You want a cookie?

Nigga no one legit gives af about your boyfriend.


Everyone travels down different paths.

There is no need to be rude, broke nigga . I just used him as example since y’all making excuses for being cheap and broke.
Learn how to be frugal and save money.

 

[Buraanbur911]

Financially stable??? How much we talking yearly??

If we’re talking about marriage it should be maybe half of the bills or a little bit more than half and the wife could pay the remaining that’s how I think of marriage. I don’t know what’s the right amount to be “secure” in marriage but most white collar jobs pay around 65k-70k USD yearly

 

[YourBroMoe]

If we’re talking about marriage it should be maybe half of the bills or a little bit more than half and the wife could pay the remaining that’s how I think of marriage. I don’t know what’s the right amount to be “secure” in marriage but most white collar jobs pay around 65k-70k USD yearly

That's a reasonable level of expectation imo.

 

[Adan]

If we’re talking about marriage it should be maybe half of the bills or a little bit more than half and the wife could pay the remaining that’s how I think of marriage. I don’t know what’s the right amount to be “secure” in marriage but most white collar jobs pay around 65k-70k USD yearly

Not bad what's your Meher price by the way!!

 

[Gibiin-Udug]

Do you got 10k you can bank on the spot? If not, STFU wit ya broke ass!

I got more than more than 40k in my account. Did I hit a nerve with the broke niggas statement? Marry your level, the 100 dollar Meher from Africa.

 

[Buraanbur911]

Not bad what's your Meher price by the way!!

I don’t have a price in mind. I find this mehr situation very troublesome. Wish there was a standard price to state. But I would roughly base it on the situation we are in. If the man is making good money and so am I what’s so bad about asking for 20k+ if we use it for the right reasons. If we’re both young and just freshly graduated I would ask for lesser amount but ask for more longtime things like build a house together, go hajj idk tbh ask me again in 2-3 years I’ll probably change my views

 

[Buraanbur911]

I got more than more than 40k in my account. Did I hit a nerve with the broke niggas statement? Marry your level, the 100 dollar Meher from Africa.

Reiko you are a tough woman how long did it take you to save 40k I want to have that much and more saved before I get married

 

[Adan]

I don’t have a price in mind. I find this mehr situation very troublesome. Wish there was a standard price to state. But I would roughly base it on the situation we are in. If the man is making good money and so am I what’s so bad about asking for 20k+ if we use it for the right reasons. If we’re both young and just freshly graduated I would ask for lesser amount but ask for more longtime things like build a house together, go hajj idk tbh ask me again in 2-3 years I’ll probably change my views

Subxanallah 20k+ wait for it.......

 

[Adan]

Reiko you are a tough woman how long did it take you to save 40k I want to have that much and more saved before I get married

She is in her late 30's