My dad left me as a child

[ZakWantsToPlay]

Thread is a trainwreck. @AussieHustler @Knowles time to lock this shit down.

@IftiinOfLife I wish you well abayo and perhaps one day you can forgive your father and rekindle your relationship but that is for you and your mother to decide.

IftiinOflife let some steam off. Others joined to state their opinions.

Did you expect everyone will be in line with your thoughts?

It is silly to ask the mods to lock a thread when you are unhappy with other people's opinions

 

[IBRAHIM.]

@HalimaJ still with the qashin votes. It’s done for move on.

 

[Inquisitive_]

There is a running theme in your threads. Any given situation you try to find a way to blame women, even now when the father was/is clearly a degenerate.

We don't know the full story, but so far, taking responsibility for what? If a man was to abuse, mistreat and drink, somehow, you believe a victim needs to take responsibility for a man's evil actions? Every given opportunity, you try to find a way to take accountability away from men.

You don't know the full story, so far she has admitted to pushing her father off a stairwell, she admits her mum would disown her if she made contact with her father.

I don't know which religion you follow, but these two things she has admit to are major violation I have yet to see you speak out against.

For every difficulty that is predestined for you in life, there is an equivalent bounty and ease to counteract it, if we take her by her word, she earns significantly more then the average professional worker, Allah has blessed her with this, they didn't had to go through any poverty and came out of the ordeal wealthier then the majority of stable households.

Yet she is still hell bent on inflicting more pain and misery on her Father and show off to him, knowing there is nothing to gain from this, I have yet to see you speak out against this.

Do you not understand that Allah tests us with our children, wealth and marriages . People far greater than you and I have been tested with horrid spouses? Your arrogance is shining through.

My irritation stems from the stupidity and hypocrisy that is spewed on this forum.

It's not arrogance at all, you and I have different philosophy on trials and tribulations.

If I have done my due diligence on a female before I married her and she ends up being a horrible spouse for which I seek Allah's protection.

Instead of doing what the majority of people do which is to blame the other person while absolving themselves and therefore learn nothing from the ordeal or mistakes which they will continue to repeat.

I do the opposite and blame myself first and foremost because I picked her, what did I do to contribute to her dysfunction? what did I miss in my due diligence? what can I do right now to salvage the situation?

If I am not able to salvage the situation, I will take valuable lessons from it and accept it has been predestined for me, and whatever Allah predestined for a believer is always good whether you recognise it or not.

I would never blame her for it or god forbid even worse go around in public and drag her name in the mud, which by extension makes your as dirty.

The prophetic approach was to be patient in tribulation, great full at times of ease, forgive those that harmed them, and always being positive and kind in all situations.

The difference between us is that I take full responsibility for the situation and my pragmatic approach is far more conducive to not only the survival of the marriage but also it's health compared to your dogmatic idealist selfish always blame the other partner approach.

You were once obese and its obvious from your posts that you still battle with it, hence why you feel extra judgmental towards bigger women. Its all very personal for you, isn't it? Someone like you, i would have thought would be more compassionate and would offer sincere advice without malice as you were once a fat man.

I was never obese nor fat, just chubby and even that was disputed depending on who you ask, the majority thought I was normal while fitness fanatics identified me as chubby, I myself being my worst self-critic identified it as fat.

But even then I was still in much better shape then the majority of Somali's because I am shaped differently physique wise like a power lifter.

I only carried about 20% body fat, the rest was muscles and that was a decade ago, it never worked against me, the slim petite Xaalimo's back then who have gone extinct now loved it.

The female is biologically far more predisposed to looking after herself physically then males, but unfortunately in our community we live in a time today were the opposite is the case.

You have a valid case here to critique my tough love approach, but how can I be nice about it when we have a pandemic levels of obesity and on top of that a horde of qashin filthy beta males who support this who I equally attack in a far worse fashion ?

 

[HalimaJ]

You don't know the full story, so far she has admitted to pushing her father off a stairwell, she admits her mum would disown her if she made contact with her father.

I don't know which religion you follow, but these two things she has admit to are major violation I have yet to see you speak out against.

For every difficulty that is predestined for you in life, there is an equivalent bounty and ease to counteract it, if we take her by her word, she earns significantly more then the average professional worker, Allah has blessed her with this, they didn't had to go through any poverty and came out of the ordeal wealthier then the majority of stable households.

Yet she is still hell bent on inflicting more pain and misery on her Father and show off to him, knowing there is nothing to gain from this, I have yet to see you speak out against this.

It's not arrogance at all, you and I have different philosophy on trials and tribulations.

If I have done my due diligence on a female before I married her and she ends up being a horrible spouse for which I seek Allah's protection.

Instead of doing what the majority of people do which is to blame the other person while absolving themselves and therefore learn nothing from the ordeal or mistakes which they will continue to repeat.

I do the opposite and blame myself first and foremost because I picked her, what did I do to contribute to her dysfunction? what did I miss in my due diligence? what can I do right now to salvage the situation?

If I am not able to salvage the situation, I will take valuable lessons from it and accept it has been predestined for me, and whatever Allah predestined for a believer is always good whether you recognise it or not.

I would never blame her for it or god forbid even worse go around in public and drag her name in the mud, which by extension makes your as dirty.

The difference between us is that I take full responsibility for the situation and my pragmatic approach is far more conducive to not only the survival of the marriage but also it's health compared to your dogmatic idealist selfish always blame the other partner approach.

I was never obese nor fat, just chubby and even that was disputed depending on who you ask, the majority thought I was normal while fitness fanatics identified me as chubby, I myself being my worst self-critic identified it as fat.

But even then I was still in much better shape then the majority of Somali's because I am shaped differently physique wise like a power lifter.

I only carried about 20% body fat, the rest was muscles and that was a decade ago, it never worked against me, the slim petite Xaalimo's back then who have gone extinct now loved it.

The female is biologically far more predisposed to looking after herself physically then males, but unfortunately in our community we live in a time today were the opposite is the case.

You have a valid case here to critique my tough love approach, but how can I be nice about it when not only do we have an pandemic of obesity but on top of it a horde of qashin filthy beta male's who encourage it?

Do you blame prophet Noah for the evil transgression of his wife?

So you blame Ramla bint Abi Sufyan, (the wife of the Prophet S.A.W ) for her ex husband becoming an apostate despite being a Muslim previously whilst being married to her?

You're thinking is most definitely arrogant and illogical.

Also, a word of advice, whilst you have to be diligent with regards to who you marry, many people do not show their true face to the world. Your best bet is to do your research and make sincere dua that Allah does not test you with a horrible spouse. You are arrogant because you talk as though you have the power to prevent abuse and mistreatment, and that anyone that is oppressed must be at fault. That is dangerous thinking as you are an unmarried man or someone with unmarried sisters. You can easily be humbled for your uncompassionate thinking. Life comes at people fast.


Pushing your father down the stairs due to past greviances is most definitely wrong. She should have took the high road and went about her day. But you have to acknowledge, that for any child seeing their mother violated and hurt is traumatising. Kids often become violent themselves, which is why it is important women leave abusive men.


However, the mother preventing her daughter isn't. It is part of a mothers instinct to protect her child. If her father is indeed an evil drunk abuser, why on earth would you want your child near him?????

Do you hear yourself? He is a danger to himself and anyone around him. Yet somehow the mother is being vilified for protecting her daughter.

 

[Inquisitive_]

Do you blame prophet Noah for the evil transgression of his wife?

So you blame Ramla bint Abi Sufyan, (the wife of the Prophet S.A.W ) for her ex husband becoming an apostate despite being a Muslim previously whilst being married to her?.

You didn't read my post, who is talking about blame at all?

As far as we know from Noah he was still married, a compassionate man who even during the flood pleaded for his Non Muslim son to join him and when he didn't still made dua to Allah for him after 950 years of Dawah

As far we know from Nabi Lut was still married and informed by Allah about the evils of his wife.

I find it strange you want use Prophets as an example for this shameful thread, the Prophets are in a complete different category when it comes to tests, they face the harshest of tests, do you think they would condone what this sister did and is planning to do?

As for bringing Ramla as an example equally shameful, the best of all men to walk this earth became her husband as a result of her patience and struggles for Islam.

You're thinking is most definitely arrogant and illogical.

Also, a word of advice, whilst you have to be diligent with regards to who you marry, many people do not show their true face to the world. Your best bet is to do your research and make sincere dua that Allah does not test you with a horrible spouse. You are arrogant because you talk as though you have the power to prevent abuse and mistreatment, and that anyone that is oppressed must be at fault. That is dangerous thinking as you are an unmarried man or someone with unmarried sisters. You can easily be humbled for your uncompassionate thinking. Life comes at people fast.

Those are just your false assumptions, if anything your the arrogant one in this conversation with your philosophy of absolving yourself of any blame while blaming everyone else.

This what the accursed Shaytaan did blaming Allah, while Adam did the opposite and blamed himself which is my philosophy in conflict resolution and marital disputes.

Of course it's not in my hand so I always make dua against such trials and pray istikhara for any major decisions in life including marriage, it's part of the reason why I have been saved from marrying a diaspora female despite coming close 5 times.

Having to end up with someone like yourself that is short-sighted, lacks compassion/empathy and when it comes to conflict by default puts all blame on her partner while absolving herself is the epitome of arrogance and a recipe for disaster.

I hope for your own good and the good of your marriage you change this poisonous mindset which has to potential to destroy your marriage because serious conflicts will happen in your marriage and how you navigate through it will determine the course of it.

However, the mother preventing her daughter isn't. It is part of a mothers instinct to protect her child. If her father is indeed an evil drunk abuser, why on earth would you want your child near him?????
Do you hear yourself? He is a danger to himself and anyone around him. Yet somehow the mother is being vilified for protecting her daughter

She herself never said that, it's just your own interpretation, she is keen to meet him for the wrong reasons and we can extrapolate from that she doesn't feel any danger or threat from him.

Unless you want to make the case she is crazy at the age of 30 and you don't trust her judgement, in which case you open a pandora box of problems.

Besides we only heard one side of the story and not the other, I am sure your well aware of the incident of Dawud in the Quran..

 

[IBRAHIM.]

Do you blame prophet Noah for the evil transgression of his wife?

So you blame Ramla bint Abi Sufyan, (the wife of the Prophet S.A.W ) for her ex husband becoming an apostate despite being a Muslim previously whilst being married to her?

You're thinking is most definitely arrogant and illogical.

Also, a word of advice, whilst you have to be diligent with regards to who you marry, many people do not show their true face to the world. Your best bet is to do your research and make sincere dua that Allah does not test you with a horrible spouse. You are arrogant because you talk as though you have the power to prevent abuse and mistreatment, and that anyone that is oppressed must be at fault. That is dangerous thinking as you are an unmarried man or someone with unmarried sisters. You can easily be humbled for your uncompassionate thinking. Life comes at people fast.


Pushing your father down the stairs due to past greviances is most definitely wrong. She should have took the high road and went about her day. But you have to acknowledge, that for any child seeing their mother violated and hurt is traumatising. Kids often become violent themselves, which is why it is important women leave abusive men.


However, the mother preventing her daughter isn't. It is part of a mothers instinct to protect her child. If her father is indeed an evil drunk abuser, why on earth would you want your child near him?????

Do you hear yourself? He is a danger to himself and anyone around him. Yet somehow the mother is being vilified for protecting her daughter.

Using people from 1000 years ago to prove your silly post is just amazing. Last time I checked marrying a 13 year old at that time was normal. Do u consider a man who marries a 14 year old a pedo?
People that lived that time didn’t have the problems we have now. And what does a person’s lack of faith have to do with their family members? Do u blame @VixR apostasy on her parents? Maybe they should’ve done better right?
What do u think?

 

[IftiinOfLife]

Lol I’m surprised at all the men defending dead beat dads, but doing a quick read of their responses, it honestly seems like trolling. Lol.

Most of the guys on this site are either severely underweight, obese, no friends, depressed and hate their moms. Why are they transferring that to me ?

And for those pissed at child me pushing my dad down the stairs cause I didn’t want him beating my 5 year old sister , shit I’d push you all of you down too, I don’t give a f*ck

I would do your hoyos a favour and push your asses off naaso hablood

I feel no regret.


To all the other posters with sense and logic, I shared this story, to show our community these things happen and it’s real. Thankfully , Allah loves me , gave me the strength to survive, be successful and not end up a drug addict/gangbanger/loser//hoe like most other Somalis.

Keep in mind , it was destiny from God to test me with such a father , we all have individual life tests. We can over come them with prayer and resilience.

But I don’t want to help any incel Somali man earn an income, I’m gonna reserve my tips for the ladies and some decent dudes

 

[IBRAHIM.]

Lol I’m surprised at all the men defending dead beat dads, but doing a quick read of their responses, it honestly seems like trolling. Lol.

Most of the guys on this site are either severely underweight, obese, no friends, depressed and hate their moms. Why are they transferring that to me ?

And for those pissed at child me pushing my dad down the stairs cause I didn’t want him beating my 5 year old sister , shit I’d push you all of you down too, I don’t give a f*ck

I would do your hoyos a favour and push your asses off naaso hablood

I feel no regret.


To all the other posters with sense and logic, I shared this story, to show our community these things happen and it’s real. Thankfully , Allah loves me , gave me the strength to survive, be successful and not end up a drug addict/gangbanger/loser//hoe like most other Somalis.

Keep in mind , it was destiny from God to test me with such a father , we all have individual life tests. We can over come them with prayer and resilience.

But I don’t want to help any incel Somali man earn an income, I’m gonna reserve my tips for the ladies and some decent dudes

Blame your mother for choosing a deadbeat and her family. I personally don’t wanna do anything with a family like urs.

 

[IftiinOfLife]

I think it’s in our nations best interest if @Inquisitive_ and @IBRAHIM. did a ctrl alt delete from existence wallahi. Their stupid little boring beta anti women essays were the dumbest things I ever read on this site. It’s obvious their fathers didn’t beat them into becoming men and their mother’s nido gave them too much estrogen. Two s wanting to be heard defending the dumbest shit ever.

I know for a fact they are unmarried and broke with the amount of anti feminist essays they wrote all weekend.

That’s the raw truth motherfuckers

 

[IftiinOfLife]

Blame your mother for choosing a deadbeat and her family.

I blame your hoyo for not taking plan B.

 

[IftiinOfLife]

Why are guys even having a conversation about custody, when the man is supposedly a drunken abuser?

Wallahi, i'm disgusted at how some of you men will defend evil behaviour. He has soo much empathy for a man that wrecked the lives of his family, but vilifies the victims, simply for being women.

I kid you not, if iftin was a male poster the responses would be dramatically different.

It’s transferred rage, Somali men in the west know their resumes get thrown in the trash and they are dumber then somali women. I’d rather them write their gay ass essays online then destroy our country .... oops.

 

[IBRAHIM.]

I think it’s in our nations best interest if @Inquisitive_ and @IBRAHIM. did a ctrl alt delete from existence wallahi. Their stupid little boring beta anti women essays were the dumbest things I ever read on this site. It’s obvious their fathers didn’t beat them into becoming men and their mother’s nido gave them too much estrogen. Two s wanting to be heard defending the dumbest shit ever.

I know for a fact they are unmarried and broke with the amount of anti feminist essays they wrote all weekend.

That’s the raw truth motherfuckers

Lol didn’t u say u weren’t a feminist. Wallahi u keep exposing yourself day by day. Anyways, I don’t want to hurt your feelings more, your father did a good job at that.
Goodbye, I hope u find closure with your old man. Be smart and think for yourself and don’t be pushed around by your mom, u deserve answers.

 

[IftiinOfLife]

Lol didn’t u say u weren’t a feminist. Wallahi u keep exposing yourself daddy by day. Anyways, I don’t want to hurt your feeling more, your father did a good job at that.
Goodbye, I hope u find closure with your old man. Be smart and think for yourself and don’t be pushed around by your mom, u deserve answers.

I never in my life claimed feminism you loser. But it’s clear to me you are depressed and starved for attention cause you literally spent your entire weekend writing essays on why I pushed mother fuckers down stairs. You have no life and this proves it. Go outside and get some vitamin d instead of dying inside of rickets on hoyos wifi.


From the ghetto to success , now that’s a story , I only salute Allah for that.

Go write another essay like a white in HR pussyhoe.

 

[IBRAHIM.]

I never in my life claimed feminism you loser. But it’s clear to me you are depressed and starved for attention cause you literally spent your entire weekend writing essays on why I pushed mother fuckers down stairs. You have no life and this proves it. Go outside and get some vitamin d instead of dying inside of rickets on hoyos wifi.


From the ghetto to success , now that’s a story , I only salute Allah for that.

Go write another essay like a white in HR pussyhoe.

You should do comedy wallahi.

 

[IftiinOfLife]

Our country is in such a mess because
Of men above writing essays online inside of doing work on the ground like myself.

Build institutions... not enemies. I’ll post a guide on how to do that soon.

 

[IftiinOfLife]

Thread is a trainwreck. @AussieHustler @Knowles time to lock this shit down.

@IftiinOfLife I wish you well abayo and perhaps one day you can forgive your father and rekindle your relationship but that is for you and your mother to decide.

I have a weird feeling he’s gonna pass pretty soon. It would be cool to see him before he dies but it’s not a necessity. I know he’s hurting deep inside from
Abandoning us , maybe that is karma enough. Allah knows best.

 

[IBRAHIM.]

Our country is in such a mess because
Of men above writing essays online inside of doing work on the ground like myself.

Build institutions... not enemies. I’ll post a guide on how to do that soon.

I think u liked one of my posts by mistake.

 

[IftiinOfLife]

I think u liked one of my posts by mistake.

I’m giving you another reason to live as an act of zakat . I know you live for this website.

 

[IftiinOfLife]

@IftiinOfLife please answer this question so I can find closure.

I know better not to talk about tribes online lol.

I’m not the best Muslim so I don’t want my tribe affiliated with the fuckery I do.

 

[Abdalla]

I know better not to talk about tribes online lol.

I’m not the best Muslim so I don’t want my tribe affiliated with the fuckery I do.

You sell your ass somahan, that's why you make lots of $$$