Interracial marriage advice

Desert Flower

Staff Member
Moderator
Thank you for the positivity :it0tdo8:

To be honest, im just confused about the technical stuff with how to go about the wedding when its mixed cultures. I geniunly havent seen a somali/arabic wedding before. I was also generally curious about stories.
Dude @The Smooth-Operator chill.

It’s her life maxaa ka rabtaa? Teda kale, SSPOT men love talking about interracial relationships when it’s a Somali man and a ajanabi woman, but have an issue when it’s the reverse. Every day it’s a “I hate Somali girls and I prefer x race blah blah” but SSPOT girls don’t qashin your posts. Is deji bro.

Anyways, you probably won’t find any Somali Arab wedding info here. Maybe Yt or IG. But you don’t even need that, just combine the best of yours and his cultures. Do your own thing. All the best. Ignore the noise on here.
 
Keep it that way, don’t get strung along or used

I wish you the best Insha’Allah
Thank you for your concern.

Thing is, Ive personally seen muslim girls getting used and taken advantage of by guys, and it's really a sad sight. So i get where this is coming from.
 
Dude @The Smooth-Operator chill.

It’s her life maxaa ka rabtaa? Teda kale, SSPOT men love talking about interracial relationships when it’s a Somali man and a ajanabi woman, but have an issue when it’s the reverse. Every day it’s a “I hate Somali girls and I prefer x race blah blah” but SSPOT girls don’t qashin your posts. Is deji bro.

Anyways, you probably won’t find any Somali Arab wedding info here. Maybe Yt or IG. But you don’t even need that, just combine the best of yours and his cultures. Do your own thing. All the best. Ignore the noise on here.
i like you :yloezpe::it0tdo8:
 
Hello somali spot! :)

Im a 22 somali woman, and ive been seeing this arabic guy for around 2 years now, just getting to know eachother sharing different philosophies on life. We share the same views on almost everything, from religion to world perspectives and even how we'd go about it raising a child. Culturally I was also kind of surprised how similar somali and arabic culture is, and to me I believe thats a huge plus to relate to one another. We speak to eachother in english, but we've been trying to learn eachother's languages since that would be very useful communication wise with family.

Well, you get the gist how our relationship works out for us. We want to get married, and here's where im confused how thats supposed to play out. Im not worried about my parents since I know that the thing they value the most is religion and stability (job, education etc). Ofcourse also how he treats me. However, when it comes to aunts and uncles etc, im certain that some of them have a negative views on arabs in general. Which makes me nervous about some aspects, like how is the wedding even going to be like with two cultures that handles weddings in a different way. And family members that are going to attend that dont really approve on the whole marrying an arab thing.

So here's the part where im asking for advice from fellow somalis that maybe either have experienced this themselves or knows someone thats been through this. How would be the best way to go about a wedding, or is it even worth it to have a wedding at all? How have you seen or experienced the cultural clash work out? And why do so many somalis have a problem with interracial marriages?

Before you get to the wedding plans, have you met his family? Every community has their own biases. Verfiy if his family is good with him marrying a somali woman. Ensure there is no racism and bigotry in that family who will form the core support of any child eventually out of this marriage.

Also, what about his committment? Do you have the confidence based on how much you know about his feelings that he has solid grasp on the sacrifices he would make for you in case his family objects to you as an addition to their family? As a woman, you are marrying into another family, have you thought about that?


I have met two somali girls who dated arabs and both ended up dumped when things got serious. Most of these arab guys do not get the suport of their families to marry an outsider, specially an african ethnicity even though Arabs themselves are not better in the race category. Anyways, giving up yourself to someone is a big deal. The feelings you have for the guy can blind you to the realities, or because you lack life experiences to tell apart what is solid from what is fleeting, you may make rush decisions.

I personally prefer a somali to marry my female relatives. With that said, if the man they bring to us is Islamically sound and by culture a decent human, then we should respect their choices. But preference is what it is and a somali marrying another somali is always the safest.
 
Men and woman can't be best friends that's a myth there is always a ulterior motive. I'm indifferent towards what you do with your life, do you even speak or understand Arabic by any chance. Good luck, you will face a lot of racism from his Arab family if you don't speak or understand Arabic

wallahi she is probably one of those ana arab Somali folks, they will react negatively if she is dark skinned. I know arabs hate dark skinned people especially those Levant ones.

https://www.somalispot.com/posts/2480069/react?reaction_id=1
You spread so much negativity and shitpost in my thread. It's probably not for you since you for some reason get triggered by my personal decisions in life and throw shade. Maybe deal with your shit and try other topics.
 
You spread so much negativity and shitpost in my thread. It's probably not for you since you for some reason get triggered by my personal decisions in life and throw shade. Maybe deal with your shit and try other topics.
Hopefully he is a decent person and isn't racist, best of luck. I'm entitled to my own opinion and I know some Arabs treat woman very badly. They treat migrant workers so inhumanely and dislike people who are dark skinned excessively.
 

SOULSEARCHING

Hakuna matata
VIP
I would never fall for a arab, they're racist deep down. They may be nice now but just wait one month after marriage. They are control freaks
My Arab girlfriends have ran away from there men and married Iranians and afgahns instead.
 
Hopefully he is a decent person and isn't racist, best of luck. I'm entitled to my own opinion and I know some Arabs treat woman very badly. They treat migrant workers so inhumanely and dislike people who are dark skinned excessively.
Thanks for the concern, but as i said mashallah hes a decent person and more. I hope you one day meet more arabs with the same daqan as him, I think you'd be positively surprised.
 

CanoGeel

"Show respect to all people, but grovel to none"
Hello somali spot! :)

Im a 22 somali woman, and ive been seeing this arabic guy for around 2 years now, just getting to know eachother sharing different philosophies on life. We share the same views on almost everything, from religion to world perspectives and even how we'd go about it raising a child. Culturally I was also kind of surprised how similar somali and arabic culture is, and to me I believe thats a huge plus to relate to one another. We speak to eachother in english, but we've been trying to learn eachother's languages since that would be very useful communication wise with family.

Well, you get the gist how our relationship works out for us. We want to get married, and here's where im confused how thats supposed to play out. Im not worried about my parents since I know that the thing they value the most is religion and stability (job, education etc). Ofcourse also how he treats me. However, when it comes to aunts and uncles etc, im certain that some of them have a negative views on arabs in general. Which makes me nervous about some aspects, like how is the wedding even going to be like with two cultures that handles weddings in a different way. And family members that are going to attend that dont really approve on the whole marrying an arab thing.

So here's the part where im asking for advice from fellow somalis that maybe either have experienced this themselves or knows someone thats been through this. How would be the best way to go about a wedding, or is it even worth it to have a wedding at all? How have you seen or experienced the cultural clash work out? And why do so many somalis have a problem with interracial marriages?
Screenshot_20200802-105412.png

Do ya thang gurl. Ha buqleso
 
Arab ? Good luck !

They are abusive.

I would never fall for a arab, they're racist deep down. They may be nice now but just wait one month after marriage. They are control freaks
My Arab girlfriends have ran away from there men and married Iranians and afgahns instead.
Im sorry that your friends went through this. I get that some arabs are like this but ive known a fair share of different arabs.

Sister be careful to project experiences to other people you dont know, I get you have good intentions by warning me. But 1 month? Ive been with him for 2 years, and before that we were best friends.

Inshallah one day you might get to know a variety of arabs that'll change your mind.
 
Before you get to the wedding plans, have you met his family? Every community has their own biases. Verfiy if his family is good with him marrying a somali woman. Ensure there is no racism and bigotry in that family who will form the core support of any child eventually out of this marriage.
Thing is, as I wrote, I think it would be healthy for us in general to focus on parents and siblings first. There will always be that uncle or that aunt that feels some type of way about marrying outside of your race. It's inevitable. When it comes to our parents, they are both openminded when it comes to other races as long as they are muslim and have a good daqan etc. You know, general stuff every parents value in a person they'd want their son/daughter to be with.

Also, what about his committment? Do you have the confidence based on how much you know about his feelings that he has solid grasp on the sacrifices he would make for you in case his family objects to you as an addition to their family? As a woman, you are marrying into another family, have you thought about that?
There's a reason I didnt ask for relationship advice etc. In that aspect there's no problems for us, alhamduillah. We are compatible in every way, and we share same views when it comes to life stuff, religion and how we'd go about raising our potential children. We've had all the important convos that any couple moving forward should have. The commitment level on both ends is 100%, and ofc he would make sacrifices for me, but the problem wouldnt be his parents for sure, so the only sacrifice would be potentially some family member outside of his household. Which is the same case for me potentially, but who knows. We strive to both be self made in our career paths, and inshallah our deen, daqan and dedication will make things easier and go smoothly.

I know im marrying into another family, and im very openminded about that. I intend to learn arabic fluently one day.
 
Thing is, as I wrote, I think it would be healthy for us in general to focus on parents and siblings first. There will always be that uncle or that aunt that feels some type of way about marrying outside of your race. It's inevitable. When it comes to our parents, they are both openminded when it comes to other races as long as they are muslim and have a good daqan etc. You know, general stuff every parents value in a person they'd want their son/daughter to be with.



There's a reason I didnt ask for relationship advice etc. In that aspect there's no problems for us, alhamduillah. We are compatible in every way, and we share same views when it comes to life stuff, religion and how we'd go about raising our potential children. We've had all the important convos that any couple moving forward should have. The commitment level on both ends is 100%, and ofc he would make sacrifices for me, but the problem wouldnt be his parents for sure, so the only sacrifice would be potentially some family member outside of his household. Which is the same case for me potentially, but who knows. We strive to both be self made in our career paths, and inshallah our deen, daqan and dedication will make things easier and go smoothly.

I know im marrying into another family, and im very openminded about that. I intend to learn arabic fluently one day.

Seems you covered the basics. I wish you the best in your journey. The fact that you have your parents involved in the process(am assuming that is what I read unless I misunderstood) is a good sign.

Just so you know, no one is perfect in life including the person you love the most and you think he is the deal. Better find out his imperfections now so you already accepted them before you settle down and it becomes a little late to get off that train. Love what is best and preserve them in the person, accept what is broken that is not outside the acceptable imperfections. There are things we can forgive and ingore in a person and somethings we can';t depending on our committment to God, family and quality of life etc.

Good luck. You seem intelligent and capable young woman. Mature for your age. With that said, always get your parents involved and let them be in the know of what you are planning. They are the people who will get hurt the most if you are emotionally hurt later.

God speed and good luck.
 

CanoGeel

"Show respect to all people, but grovel to none"
Im sorry that your friends went through this. I get that some arabs are like this but ive known a fair share of different arabs.

Sister be careful to project experiences to other people you dont know, I get you have good intentions by warning me. But 1 month? Ive been with him for 2 years, and before that we were best friends.

Inshallah one day you might get to know a variety of arabs that'll change your mind.
hqdefault.jpg

:chrisfreshhah::drakelaugh:He/She is a troll.

By the way, According to research from the National Pen Company in the U.S., your handwriting can give away clues about 5,000 different personality traits based on the way you space your letters, how you sign your name, and even how you connect the letter 'o' and 's' to other letters in a word.

but my two nickels
1. Me personally think the question are Arabs racist is oxymoron, well for the most part
2. Is your life but Dabada ilaali:yousmart:
 
View attachment 137934
:chrisfreshhah::drakelaugh:He/She is a troll.

By the way, According to research from the National Pen Company in the U.S., your handwriting can give away clues about 5,000 different personality traits based on the way you space your letters, how you sign your name, and even how you connect the letter 'o' and 's' to other letters in a word.

but my two nickels
1. Me personally think the question are Arabs racist is oxymoron, well for the most part
2. Is your life but Dabada ilaali:yousmart:
Can you elaborate?

How am I a troll, ive been honest and answered with respect even towards spiteful/judgemental comments.

Also the research thing, eh? I dont see how that's relevant

To be completely honest, i didnt understand your first nickel either, maybe the way you constructed the sentence.
 

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