Interracial marriage advice

[snds]

Hello somali spot!

Im a 22 somali woman, and ive been seeing this arabic guy for around 2 years now, just getting to know eachother sharing different philosophies on life. We share the same views on almost everything, from religion to world perspectives and even how we'd go about it raising a child. Culturally I was also kind of surprised how similar somali and arabic culture is, and to me I believe thats a huge plus to relate to one another. We speak to eachother in english, but we've been trying to learn eachother's languages since that would be very useful communication wise with family.

Well, you get the gist how our relationship works out for us. We want to get married, and here's where im confused how thats supposed to play out. Im not worried about my parents since I know that the thing they value the most is religion and stability (job, education etc). Ofcourse also how he treats me. However, when it comes to aunts and uncles etc, im certain that some of them have a negative views on arabs in general. Which makes me nervous about some aspects, like how is the wedding even going to be like with two cultures that handles weddings in a different way. And family members that are going to attend that dont really approve on the whole marrying an arab thing.

So here's the part where im asking for advice from fellow somalis that maybe either have experienced this themselves or knows someone thats been through this. How would be the best way to go about a wedding, or is it even worth it to have a wedding at all? How have you seen or experienced the cultural clash work out? And why do so many somalis have a problem with interracial marriages?

 

[Warwaaqsame]

Naa wax la yaqaan guurso, si wax dad leh oo la yaqaan aad udhasho

 

[BobSmoke]

My two cents.

Keep the wedding financially humble and invite the closest people of both their side, you don't want evil eye from unsuspecting random who's only there for the food and turnup.

Please learn some jiu jitsu and boxing for your own self-defense. You never know when an arab man will switch on you and turn you into a punching bag and that's what the somalis got against the arabs.

The similarity in culture lies in tribalism and the assimilation into the culture.
My advice to you would be, let the kids learn both their languages and cultures by visiting their countries each summer.
InshaAllah more power to your union and your kids

 

[0117]

New stories new issues

 

[The Somali Caesar]

I think it’s clear to point out your future Arab Husband isn’t just marrying you he’s marrying into your family.

 

[Bashi]

Which arab country?

 

[AutumnBreeze]

Go for it. The reason why somalis dislike interracial marriage is same reason they dislike other tribes marrying their females. Qabyaalad

 

[Kayo]

I think it’s clear to point out your future Arab Husband isn’t just marrying you he’s marrying into your family.

That's crap,more like she marrying into his family

 

[Sophisticate]

I don't believe this is a legitimate thread.

You're asking for advice and this is your first post ever.

 

[Desert Flower]

It’s your life. Do what you want.

You will never live if you wait for permission to do anything. If you want each other, assess the risks and do it. Khalaas.

 

[Desert Flower]

I don't believe this is a legitimate thread.

You're asking for advice and this is your first post ever.

To be fair, maybe she’s a lurker and made a account to post her situation.

 

[Sophisticate]

To be fair, maybe she’s a lurker and made a account to post her situation.

From observation I've noticed a lot of people begin posting on other threads and eventually make one of their own. Perhaps this is some dilemma she's dealing with but my antenna is up.

 

[AbdiGeedi]

but my antenna is up.

Women with antennas are the most dangerous beings in man's life.

 

[Sophisticate]

Women with antennas are the most dangerous beings in man's life.

In what way?

 

[AbdiGeedi]

In what way?

Wireless transmission of information to the relevant parties.

 

[Yukon_Niner]

I don't believe this is a legitimate thread.

You're asking for advice and this is your first post ever.

I stopped taking these threads seriously since the revert one. Doubly so if it's their first post.

 

[Octavian]

To be fair, maybe she’s a lurker and made a account to post her situation.

if she was a lurker she would have known about what some niggas think of race in general

 

[snds]

I don't believe this is a legitimate thread.

You're asking for advice and this is your first post ever.

Hmm ive looked at this forum for a little while, before making an account and waiting to get acceptance by admin.

This is my first thread, but also a legit thing Im dealing with in my life. I didnt know there's an unwritten rule about what topics you can post or not post.

Im not sure what you get out of questioning if this situation is real or not, it's not like im going to be tempted to prove you wrong by giving you personal information. Also, it's not like its a unrealistic situation overall.

My two cents.

Keep the wedding financially humble and invite the closest people of both their side, you don't want evil eye from unsuspecting random who's only there for the food and turnup.

Please learn some jiu jitsu and boxing for your own self-defense. You never know when an arab man will switch on you and turn you into a punching bag and that's what the somalis got against the arabs.

The similarity in culture lies in tribalism and the assimilation into the culture.
My advice to you would be, let the kids learn both their languages and cultures by visiting their countries each summer.
InshaAllah more power to your union and your kids

Thanks for the wedding advice, really helpful. I was already thinking about keeping the circle small, intead of most somali wedding ive been to with a bunch of people you dont really know.

Also, as i wrote in the topic, ive known this guy for around 2 years now. Mashallah hes really in touch with his deen and treats women with respect. He would never hit me, and in his culture its not a thing aswell. It's funny cause he was surprised when i told him that in western countries arabic guys have a bad reputation when it comes to hitting their wives. He was annoyed that western arabs gave arab people in general a reputation. Well, the main point of this is that its not a thing in his family or circle, so i dont know if your point was with the intention of being informative or judgemental but dont worry.

With the last point, i was thinking the same. I want our children to be in touch with both families and both languages/cultures. Thanks for your 2 cents.

He will enslave you and you will become his concubine, good luck being called جارِية by his family.

Somali woman are the weakest link, they fall in love with just about anybody.

Im not sure if you are actually serious or you're an online troll. However, no he won't. No need to spread negativity to a stranger you dont know just because they aren't from the same country as you. Allah (swt) made it clear in the quraan that we muslims are one ummah.

And no, I wouldnt fall in love with just anybody. You clearly haven't read the thread.

 

[snds]

I stopped taking these threads seriously since the revert one. Doubly so if it's their first post.

Im sorry you feel that way due to previous experiences. I dont know what to say other than why would i spend my time making up a false story. The internet is a mysterious place.

If it isn't too difficult I hope that people from this community will take this topic seriously instead of trolling. I also hope that people can come with something helpful or insightful instead or spite and judgement. However, I am aware thats hard to ask for when the internet is a mixture of all kinds of people. So if you choose to be negative I hope inshallah that you'll get some happiness in your life that triumphs over any hate in your heart for strangers.

 

[Sophisticate]

Hmm ive looked at this forum for a little while, before making an account and waiting to get acceptance by admin.

This is my first thread, but also a legit thing Im dealing with in my life. I didnt know there's an unwritten rule about what topics you can post or not post.

Im not sure what you get out of questioning if this situation is real or not, it's not like im going to be tempted to prove you wrong by giving you personal information. Also, it's not like its a unrealistic situation overall.



Thanks for the wedding advice, really helpful. I was already thinking about keeping the circle small, intead of most somali wedding ive been to with a bunch of people you dont really know.

Also, as i wrote in the topic, ive known this guy for around 2 years now. Mashallah hes really in touch with his deen and treats women with respect. He would never hit me, and in his culture its not a thing aswell. It's funny cause he was surprised when i told him that in western countries arabic guys have a bad reputation when it comes to hitting their wives. He was annoyed that western arabs gave arab people in general a reputation. Well, the main point of this is that its not a thing in his family or circle, so i dont know if your point was with the intention of being informative or judgemental but dont worry.

With the last point, i was thinking the same. I want our children to be in touch with both families and both languages/cultures. Thanks for your 2 cents.



Im not sure if you are actually serious or you're an online troll. However, no he won't. No need to spread negativity to a stranger you dont know just because they aren't from the same country as you. Allah (swt) made it clear in the quraan that we muslims are one ummah.

And no, I wouldnt fall in love with just anybody. You clearly haven't read the thread.

You aren't required to give any identifying information. I'd advise against it. Like @Yukon_Niner said there have been some out there threads before so it's difficult to decipher an authentic vs fake thread. Thanks for your reply and clarification.

Wireless transmission of information to the relevant parties.

Clairvoyance.