now they are attacking you. May Allah bless you sister and keep you on the right path.
how to go about second wife without burning bridges with the first one
- Thread starter Oday-yar
- Start date
Lol, lets not.
We all know men can do so, if they have means and ability. But telling women that a man should do so discretely and that a wife loses value/desire is disturbing tbh. This platform isn't a place to take anyone seriously, but its clear as a day, a man with that mentality is just going to create suffering and resentment.
You even agreed with that weirdo that believes in hiding it which is morally unacceptable and you agreed that a woman loses value. A woman shouldn't even stay and be the one and only wife to men with your mentality. This is so much more than polygamy.
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Deffo a Farax.This person is either a farax or a pick me.
Lmaoo « aggressive »…. I can tell your one of Kevin Samuels disciples…….. no need to engage any further. Have fun with your polygamy.
Amiin
I haven't seen or remember any of the brothers saying "a wife loses value/desire is disturbing tbh". Men should cherish their wives and always remember good and tough times they went shared, and should look forward to many more happy days.
I usually give an upvote to a comment when I agree with the conclusion of the comment. I haven't seen anyone who stated "a woman loses value". I wouldn't give an upvote to a comment that has that language.
I think you and several others are up in arms because you oppose polygamy. And when you see others who agree with us, especially ladies, you're attacking them. You're even calling sister @Pandora a "farah" simply because she doesn't follow your mindset. I gotta advise you sister that you need to let your current or future husbands take more wives provided they have the financial means to do so.
Just think about the Somali community in the diaspora. We have more sisters who are looking for Somali husbands but because we don't have enough men available for them, they tend to marry an ajnabi or remain single for a long time. Had you all been accepting your men to take second wives, you would've had many sister wives, and the loves you, as sister wives, have for each other would've been much better.
I suggest to any of you sisters who oppose polygamy visit single Muslim match-making sites. The largest number of women who post their profiles are Somali women. I feel bad when I see all of these sisters who had to resort to post their profiles online because they couldn't meet suitable husbands in our community. And amongst the Somali women who post their profiles online, majority come from UK or Canada. Polygamy is a solution to this problem. Had you all been accepting polygamy, you wouldn't need to post your profiles on online Muslim matchmaking sites, and look for husbands through that way. It is pretty darn another level when our women do that in order to find suitable husbands. Just accept polygamy and we have the countless single Somali women epidemic resolved.
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Lol,
The majority in the West are crying about Mehr, the cost of living and debating about women contributing. Half or more of the polygamous odeys completely forget about the miskeen older wife and pay their attentions to the younger ones whilst the kids are raised by a 'married' single mother.
Smell the coffee and stop leading a delusional life. A lot of Somali men are struggling with the cost of living with one wife. So what the hell are you talking about?! Canada and the UK are the worst when it comes to this. Also, the younger gen aren't so keen on benefits Alhamdulilah, so please tell me how you Western Faraxs can afford it. Even 50k can be bit of a squeeze without the wife's earnings.
The fact that you used the diaspora as an example, shows how insane you are. So you want Xalimos to work and share men who can't even look after them and their children?! Are we going to be using our money to look after another wife?!
Better for them to marry ajnabis. Its clear to see you don't give a shit about Somali women or children. There is a reason why polygamy is haram for men who can't afford it.
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The complaint I saw from Farahs was ajnabi-marrying xalimos demand 'apple' from their ajnabi husbands; but when it comes to Somali men, they demand $20K at mimium for mehr. I haven't seen any other complaints.
It is true that many Somali men are struggling with supporting one family. However, there are many other men as well who are doing well and can support two or more families. The whole being on benefits is overblown. People are only on benefits because 1) they need it; 2) they can't save enough from their jobs if they pay all of the bills, so they get benefits and work under the table and save money to buy nice things for their families or support relatives back home.
Not sure why you called me insane when the single women and single mother epidemic is very prevalent in the diaspora. I used real live examples. I never advocated for sister wives to work. Where do you hear that? If the husband can support two or more familes, he should be able to marry several women (up to four). Nobody is asking your money to support your sister-wive, but of course if you want to help your husband, then that is your prerogative. Do you know in Somali households that women and men wok, Somali men don't even bother asking their wives' money? It is the husbands' money that is spent on paying the whole bills. If the wives are gonna help, that is their choice, but we regard a man asking for his wife's money as a sign weakness and lack of manhood. Those of us who are traditionalists don't bother asking any dime from our wives even if she is a millionaire.
Ah, I can only assume from that comment that you're a xalimo who is married to an ajnabi guy.
I hope he is a Muslim brother. Nevertheless, you shouldn't be taking issue with other Somali women who want to marry their Somali brothers in a polygamous relationship.
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That’s what I’ve been saying! They’re reckless! Everyday I see dabsacar yelling and screaming on tiktok for help because a somali women children’s has been taken by the government. ( I avoid his content because I can’t take this type of energy everyday but this is a reality). They push their wives to the point that she becomes crazy/ stressed out and can’t really take care of herself nor her kids since that nigga ain’t never around helping. They bring these women to dangerous neighborhoods and abandon them!
Where’s the father? We never see them! I say this with my whole chest I would rather marry an ajanabi than rafad with a Somali men! On top of that @Roorigeg was trying to act dumb and blind when he said he only likes a comment due to the conclusion!
The ending of the comment said to do it DISCREETLY! I emboldened the whole comment because it was trash! Men like you are narcissist that try to gaslight women.Here’s a reminder in case you have temporary memory loss :
Less desirable doesn’t mean less valued. A woman who’s a mother and a wife is always valued.
Listen to sister @Pandora and ignore the feminists if you want to have a fulfilling life and marriage
Don’t try to play semantics now! You know exactly what you said! I’m convinced narcissism is rampant in our community. Anyways, keep telling on yourself and showing your ass because it’s good for us! We know the verbiage and mental gymnastics used by men like you! I will continue to avoid salafi men like the plague.
I will never listen to a pick me women like her and she is definitely not my sister! She’s an enabler for abuse.
You're acting as if every Somali man abandons his family. That is wrong and false assumption. Overwhelming majority are hard-working and take care of their families. Whatever published in social media is just an anomaly, and not a good reflection of the Somali community. You used Dabcasar as an example. I think he does it for the entertainment. I
That is between you and your family. Rest of us have no business of how you choose your life. But strangely enough, it seems those of you who opposed to polygamy are into ajnabi.
On top of that @Roorigeg was trying to act dumb and blind when he said he only likes a comment due to the conclusion!
Here’s a reminder in case you have temporary memory loss :
What brother @En_Sabah Nur referred to is known as "qudbo-siro", meaning marry a second wife and don't tell the first woman if you think it is gonna break-up the family. In other words, manage your affairs, support both families, and if "qudbo-siro is the only way of achieving it, then do so. That is perfectly fine to some.
Narcissist.
How?
Am not going to waste my time with a narcissist.
Majority of the brothers here are telling you the reality but you want to ignore it. Our people have been practicing polygamy for generations. It won’t stop. Even with simps like @Shimbiris and @Periplus at some point the geeljire genes will kick in.
I didn't call you names. I still see you a fellow Somali sister. We just have difference of opinions. You tolerate mine and I tolerate yours should be the motto even when we don't agree.
Lmaoooooo they’re simps because they value their women and children?!? most Somali men are dayoooth that abandon their children but go ahead my guy…….. let that « strong geelgire DNA kick in » LMAO
African American men
Somali men.
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