how to go about second wife without burning bridges with the first one

I don't know your financial status.

But the majority of Faraxs in the West, even the educated ones are struggling to pay for everything as the cost of living is ridiculously high. If you're one of those Abdis, which makes up 98% of Somali men, then just know you're selfish. That little bit of money can go towards your wife and kids. Even more disgusting is when you're getting your wife to pay for stuff as well, just so you can use her whilst you pay another woman.

If you don't fit into that category and you provide everything and you have enough money for both, then have an honest discussion with her. If you notice that she is willing to leave, then the ball is in your court. You either love her enough to abandon your plans, or you call it a day and proceed with your quest for another woman. At the end of the day, if you hide it she's still going to find out as Somalis talk. You're just going to make it 10x worse as she's going to feel betrayed and your kids are going to feel resentful. If you're honest from the get go, you might have a chance of slowly convincing her.
 
Why are you looking for a second wife ?
Do you have the financial means to take care of two families ?
Yes sister I do have money alhamdulilah.
The reason is to have more children.:damedamn: However, I don't want my children to harbor cuqdad for each other because they are from different bahs. I have seen that happen in my own family, so that is one major reason why I haven't done it so far.
 
I don't know your financial status.

But the majority of Faraxs in the West, even the educated ones are struggling to pay for everything as the cost of living is ridiculously high. If you're one of those Abdis, which makes up 98% of Somali men, then just know you're selfish. That little bit of money can go towards your wife and kids. Even more disgusting is when you're getting your wife to pay for stuff as well, just so you can use her whilst you pay another woman.

If you don't fit into that category and you provide everything and you have enough money for both, then have an honest discussion with her. If you notice that she is willing to leave, then the ball is in your court. You either love her enough to abandon your plans, or you call it a day and proceed with your quest for another woman. At the end of the day, if you hide it she's still going to find out as Somalis talk. You're just going to make it 10x worse as she's going to feel betrayed and your kids are going to feel resentful. If you're honest from the get go, you might have a chance of slowly convincing her.
she already sort of knows because I told her when we were getting married that i'd one day marry more women if I could. With that said, there's a difference between knowing and seeing it happen. I know women don't like this but there's got to be a way to do it while not ending one family in the hope of building another. It doesn't make sense.
 
Yes sister I do have money alhamdulilah.
The reason is to have more children.:damedamn: However, I don't want my children to harbor cuqdad for each other because they are from different bahs. I have seen that happen in my own family, so that is one major reason why I haven't done it so far.
For more children? That is selfish and so outdated. Allah ilmo kheyr leh baa laga barya not too many kids with resentful/jealous mothers. You have already seen how having different bahs effects children so you should know better. Also in Islam you have to consult with your first, marrying behind her back is basically cheating and hurtful.
Horta if Islam allowed would you be ok if your wife married another man with you ?
 

TekNiKo

“I am an empathic and emotionally-aware person.
VIP
Be a man and put your foot down, I am gonna marry this second wife if you want a divorce go ahead or if you wanna stay I am gonna marry her regardless. She will cave in and decide to let it go lest she become divorcee the worst fear of many ladies.
 

Xoxoxo

VIP
Be a man and put your foot down, I am gonna marry this second wife if you want a divorce go ahead or if you wanna stay I am gonna marry her regardless. She will cave in and decide to let it go lest she become divorcee the worst fear of many ladies.
Divorcee isn’t really a fear tbh
 
Be a man and put your foot down, I am gonna marry this second wife if you want a divorce go ahead or if you wanna stay I am gonna marry her regardless. She will cave in and decide to let it go lest she become divorcee the worst fear of many ladies.
Most women fear polygamy more than divorce. With the way a lot of guys practice polygamy and your attitude being an example, a divorcee is in a much better position, both mentally and emotionally. You're in Somalia at the moment, so things are probably different and men can due to finance probably get away with manipulating and emotionally abusing their wives.
 
Be a man and put your foot down, I am gonna marry this second wife if you want a divorce go ahead or if you wanna stay I am gonna marry her regardless. She will cave in and decide to let it go lest she become divorcee the worst fear of many ladies.
Pimp play book
 

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