Kick rocks!I didn't call you names. I still see you a fellow Somali sister. We just have difference of opinions. You tolerate mine and I tolerate yours should be the motto even when we don't agree.
how to go about second wife without burning bridges with the first one
- Thread starter Oday-yar
- Start date
Geeljire genes kulaha. 99% of Somali men in the 19th century and early 20th century, which is the period that gives you the deepest peak into our native and unadulterated culture, were married to only one woman. Polygamy was reserved to the elites like Suldaano iyo Garaado which makes economic sense. This saaxiib thinks a random nomad who has tribal warfare, trade affairs, herds of different animals and like already 5-10 kids and a wife to manage wants yet another wife and 5-10 kids.
Geeljire genes kulaha. 99% of Somali men in the 19th century and early 20th century, which is the period that gives you the deepest peak into our native and unadulterated culture, were married to only one woman. Polygamy was reserved to the elites like Suldaano iyo Garaado which makes economic sense. This saaxiib thinks a random nomad who has tribal warfare, trade affairs, herds of different animals and like already 5-10 kids and a wife to manage wants yet another wife and 5-10 kids.
It was pretty normal for Somali nomad to marry a second wife as soon as the first wife hits the menopause. And for those nomads with huge bumber of livestock, it was normal for them to marry several wives earlier than waiting for wife hitting the menapause. This knowledge confirms that your knowledge in Somali nomads is very limited. Mr @En_Sabah Nur is actually right and is more familiar with Somali nomad marriages than you.
TekNiKo
Loyal To The One True Caliph (Hafidahullah)
My adeer has four wives and hes a young geeljire, they are all living well alx. The more geel you have the more money.
Exactly. Those geeljires are real men who have not been conditioned by the Western media and their education. They keep the Somali warrior genes going. I salute them.
What exactly do you have against polygamy, If you’re being taken care of? What exactly do you lose?Lmaoooooo they’re simps because they value their women and children?!? most Somali men are dayoooth that abandon their children but go ahead my guy…….. let that « strong geelgire DNA kick in » LMAO
African American menSomali men.
TekNiKo
Loyal To The One True Caliph (Hafidahullah)
Mashallah, Islam is truly a religion of mercy imagine polygamy wasnt allowed? Many lonely single women would have to commit zina to get their needs satisfied like in the West. Islam actually restricted men in the past men had hundreds of wives like Nabi Sulemain AS who had 700.Exactly. Those geeljires are real men who have not been conditioned by the Western media and their education. They keep the Somali warrior genes going. I salute them.
This is so odd, wallahi. I am not even involved in these gender jihads so I dunno why you involved me but why are you insulting someone for wanting to be monogamous? You realize the nabi (SAW) was married to one woman for about 25 years whereas the other marriages were during the last 13 years of his life and mostly for utilitarian reasons? How can it therefore be a bad thing to want one wife? But that being said I dunno why I'm taking this so seriously since I know you're:
I'm not talking about current day or recent nomad culture but nomadic culture from a century ago or more which I imagine you know little of given the things I've seen you writing around this forum. In that case it seems to me that polygamy was mostly a thing among the elites and well-off. For example, an 19th century detailed text on Somali territories says:
Yet when you read the actual book you notice throughout that most of the men mentioned to have "wives" are Garaads, Suldaans and well-off merchants whereas he mostly just mentions other men having a "wife" (singular) which would have made economic sense back then. This isn't the current modern era where a single family can have quite a lot of animals in their herd. In the 1800s and early 1900s you were lucky if you had more than 20 camels or cattle in your herd, by the looks of it which is why goats and sheep were historically the main meat animals (couldn't afford to be slaughtering the large ruminants regularly). Most of these guys weren't well-off enough to support a huge family by the looks of it.
@Shimbiris
Nobody is insulting monogamy. But any man of some means will not choose monogamy over having multiple wives. Especially as Somali’s we have the option to marry beautiful women from back home.
Nobody is insulting monogamy. But any man of some means will not choose monogamy over having multiple wives. Especially as Somali’s we have the option to marry beautiful women from back home.
How can this nigga say that @Shimbiris the historian has limited knowledge on Somali nomads
come on now@Roorigeg
Everyone on forum knows that Apollo and @Shimbiris are the anthropology and history experts. Don't embarrass yourself.
Also, it is a historical fact that the majority of men throughout history apart from the elite, had one or no wives.
Everyone on forum knows that Apollo and @Shimbiris are the anthropology and history experts. Don't embarrass yourself.
Also, it is a historical fact that the majority of men throughout history apart from the elite, had one or no wives.
This is so odd, wallahi. I am not even involved in these gender jihads so I dunno why you involved me but why are you insulting someone for wanting to be monogamous? You realize the nabi (SAW) was married to one woman for about 25 years whereas the other marriages were during the last 13 years of his life and mostly for utilitarian reasons? How can it therefore be a bad thing to want one wife? But that being said I dunno why I'm taking this so seriously since I know you're:
I'm not talking about current day or recent nomad culture but nomadic culture from a century ago or more which I imagine you know little of given the things I've seen you writing around this forum. In that case it seems to me that polygamy was mostly a thing among the elites and well-off. For example, an 19th century detailed text on Somali territories says:
Yet when you read the actual book you notice throughout that most of the men mentioned to have "wives" are Garaads, Suldaans and well-off merchants whereas he mostly just mentions other men having a "wife" (singular) which would have made economic sense back then. This isn't the current modern era where a single family can have quite a lot of animals in their herd. In the 1800s and early 1900s you were lucky if you had more than 20 camels or cattle in your herd, by the looks of it which is why goats and sheep were historically the main meat animals (couldn't afford to be slaughtering the large ruminants regularly). Most of these guys weren't well-off enough to support a huge family by the looks of it.
You're inventing stories as you go. Even the text you quoted makes it very clear that old men marry younger women. And that could only mean polygamy. Unlike you, I have experience in nomadic life. I was able to tend camels and horses in deep Lower Jubba. In places like Af-Madow, it used to be that men over there at minimum two women.
Another claim that you made that "n the 1800s and early 1900s you were lucky if you had more than 20 camels or cattle in your herd" actually proves that you have no clue what you're talking about. Livestock rearing was the main reason that nomads earned a living. There were more pasture in our lands, trees, and water than it is now. And people were doing the best they can to look after their sheep, goat horses, and camels.
Owning and caring Camels were the bride of Somali nomads. And that could only mean more camels.
"In the poetry of the largely subsistence pastoral
Somali the camel is mentioned over and over as the very incarna-
tion of generosity, a source of wealth, beautiful to the point where
it is not uncommon to find beloved women compared to camels or
the camel's gait or the like.4"
Nigga please, try to discuss a topic that you fully understand. You aren't talking here with a hooyo mataalo kid; you're talking to a man who looked after camels, rode horses, participated in nomadic wrestling, knows songs of the camel and horses.
Can you tell me a few songs that camel herders use when they're watering and also grazing their camels? If you can't discuss it, then don't try to claim authority something that you have limited knowledge.
Lastly, Somali nomads marrying at least 2 wives were pretty normal. It wasn't only garaads, ugaases, sultans, kings, beeldaajiyes, and malaaqs who did it. Every Somali man pretty much was marrying a second woman as soon as his wife hits the menapause.
Kids who were born or raised in the diaspora are authority on Somali nomads and their way of life? I guess we see things differently.
Besides, the efforts that you and a few others putting here to warn people about polygamy is pretty laughable. Somali men will continue marrying several wives, and would hardly take the advice of women who promote marrying ajnabi over Somali men......Come'n, you seriously think you'll be able to stop men from marrying their wives. Don't make mockery out of yourself.
Looking at the countless Somali women who are posting their profiles in single matchmaking sites, polygamy is really a solution to this problem. It is actually there to resolve a major societal shortcomings. Islam is truly a religion of mercy.
I have to disagree with your historical narrative. It was not uncommon for non-Ugaas men to have more than wife, two was more common in actual fact. My Great Grandfather had two wives and he was not a clan leader etc. A poll on this forum would probably reach a similar finding with many of our Great Grandfathers having more than one Bah I bet. Most men who had a decent herd of livestock would take another wife as the years went by, it was the done thing. This Dhaqan is still carried on by present day well off Geeljires who are the best representatives of our nomadic culture. Even urbanised polygamous Somalis with wealth are an example of the continuation of this tradition.This is so odd, wallahi. I am not even involved in these gender jihads so I dunno why you involved me but why are you insulting someone for wanting to be monogamous? You realize the nabi (SAW) was married to one woman for about 25 years whereas the other marriages were during the last 13 years of his life and mostly for utilitarian reasons? How can it therefore be a bad thing to want one wife? But that being said I dunno why I'm taking this so seriously since I know you're:
I'm not talking about current day or recent nomad culture but nomadic culture from a century ago or more which I imagine you know little of given the things I've seen you writing around this forum. In that case it seems to me that polygamy was mostly a thing among the elites and well-off. For example, an 19th century detailed text on Somali territories says:
Yet when you read the actual book you notice throughout that most of the men mentioned to have "wives" are Garaads, Suldaans and well-off merchants whereas he mostly just mentions other men having a "wife" (singular) which would have made economic sense back then. This isn't the current modern era where a single family can have quite a lot of animals in their herd. In the 1800s and early 1900s you were lucky if you had more than 20 camels or cattle in your herd, by the looks of it which is why goats and sheep were historically the main meat animals (couldn't afford to be slaughtering the large ruminants regularly). Most of these guys weren't well-off enough to support a huge family by the looks of it.
Moreover, your historical reference alluded to this in its opening statement where it is emphasised that polygamy is indispensable among Somalis, it does not indicate it was the sole preserve of clan elites even though they would obviously have a higher number of wives over the course of their lifetime. The more children one had, the more Waran Qaad males a clan had and the higher the chance of one's lineage becoming successful in the future. All Somali males aimed for this and in times of plenty, it was not difficult to acquire a second wife with a healthy herd.
On a separate note, disregarding my initial troll post, polygamy is not advisable in the West in my opinion as it is hard enough to raise one family. If the argument is having more children, then why do many families now restrict the number of children they have by using contraception? Heck it has even become fashion for some Western Somalis to Haramly delay having children straight after marriage because it is not practical to do so or because they want to experience the honeymoon phase of marriage before kids come into the picture.
Many men who seek a second wife do it because of lust which is understandable from a male perspective if the husband and the wife are closer in age when they marry. When the wife hits menopause, the husband is still sexually active and I have observed that a lot of the older traditional generation seek a second wife partly for lustful reasons and partly because it is culturally ingrained to do so as it increase one's lineage. I reckon @Roorigeg subscribes to this way of thinking. Nothing wrong with it religiously or culturally but it is understandably not welcomed by women in general, even more so by the younger generation of females who subscribe to marital fidelity and bonding for life.
You shouldn’t be focus on what Somali women are doing on those dating websites. The truth is that Somali men are subpar and finding a Somali men that is compatible with you is hard AF due to multiple reasons. We both know what they are…… ( I’ll give you a hint: Habsi)
*****Somali women go where your appreciated and loved! Leave these dusty polygamous marriage bandits alone! They will deal with Allah in this world and the hereafter.
Men expands the horizons. That is pretty the norm for all the male specifies!!
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"*****Somali women go where your appreciated and loved!"
All I see them being divorced after a few kids, and then bashing the Somali community of being racists. I used to see Ummah forum back then 2017 - 2018. You won't believe it but xalimos who initially went to "where they were appreciated" were bashing the Somali community repeatedly. I initially didn't know but later on was explained by other fellow Somali women that those gyals were divorced by their ex-con hubbies. And since they were no longer marketable, they're bashing the Somali community day and night. I quitted that forum as I couldn't put up with their calaacal and constant Somali men and Somali community bashing.
Arya, you do realise you are debating with people who don't generally subscribe to the same cultural outlook as you? It is a pointless exercise for the most part. Even the FKD section is pointless for you man as they ain't seen what you have seen etc.
Don't waste your time in dead end debates with those generally less long in the tooth than you.
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