How to deal with breakups

[InfoMatic]

Personally speaking, I was taught that the guy should love the girl more.

If she loves him more than he loves her, that's when problems arise and she feels neglected or under appreciated.

I've read some posters say 'I tried to make him love me more'

Listen have some self respect, it's bad enough you're out here dating a cadaan guy, but than you let him treat you like shit? But it's ok, for you to write how worthless somali guys are?

When you've never dated on or given one a chance? Get out of here!

Anyway personally speaking as a female, you always need to put yourself
First.

Here's abit of advice, why don't you concentrate on you, instead of jumping from one relationship to another. Take a break and build you're low self esteem up.

Beauty + Wisdom

 

[GodKnowsBest]

Personally speaking, I was taught that the guy should love the girl more.

If she loves him more than he loves her, that's when problems arise and she feels neglected or under appreciated.

I've read some posters say 'I tried to make him love me more'

Listen have some self respect, it's bad enough you're out here dating a cadaan guy, but than you let him treat you like shit? But it's ok, for you to write how worthless somali guys are?

When you've never dated on or given one a chance? Get out of here!

Anyway personally speaking as a female, you always need to put yourself
First.

Here's abit of advice, why don't you concentrate on you, instead of jumping from one relationship to another. Take a break and build you're low self esteem up.

Horta, I know you meant me when you said some girls are saying I tried to make him love me more. I said I tried to re-reverse the roles so he worshipped me more. Every time he'd speak less to me I'd go days without talking to him. Making a good man give you more attention is nothing bad. He treated me with decency and respect and he deeply cared for me. I just wanted it to be like during the honey moon stages. I do agree with you that women should not love a man more and this was exactly why I dumped him.

 

[InfoMatic]

Guys, The Cushitic One is here, I am done talking to ya all folks. Cushitic, nakeen love

 

[The Cushitic One]

@GodKnowsBest I'm genuinely hearted by you're struggle as a fellow Somali female.

Regardless of what's been said between us, if you ever need advice, just DM.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

Beauty + Wisdom

Why do you keep talking about her looks and lips? Do you have a picture of her?

 

[InfoMatic]

Why do you keep talking about her looks and lips? Do you have a picture of her?

Keep your lesbo side in check. Remember the promise you made of being good. Haye, show me you can

 

[VixR]

this is the second time, what makes you think I'm sheltered? For clarification, eagerness to please is exclusive and not just another way of saying push over, yes?

Your remarks. Either that or you're in your early teens, which is also sheltered in another sense.

That's another thing. Eager-to-please = pushover 100% of the time.

It's too selfless a model to sustain a typical human relationship. It becomes parasitic, and falls apart when (yes, when, not if) the 'pleaser' is inevitably drained. The parasite then moves on OR the typical person is put off by these administrations. There is no balance. Where there's a self, there must be self upkeep.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

@GodKnowsBest I'm genuinely hearted by you're struggle as a fellow Somali female.

Regardless of what's been said between us, if you ever need advice, just DM.

Thank you. I appreciate it. Everyone here beefs, we just get over it and shake it off because we are Somalis. gabardas reiko is supposed to be my cousin but we rarely get along. We still have to forgive each other though.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

Your remarks. Either that or you're in your early teens, which is also sheltered in another sense.

That's another thing. Eager-to-please = pushover 100% of the time.

It's too selfless a model to sustain a typical human relationship. It becomes parasitic, and falls apart when (yes, when, not if) the 'pleaser' is inevitably drained. The parasite then moves on OR the typical person is put off by these administrations. There is no balance. Where there's a self, there must be self upkeep.

I disagree. I feel that if both partners in marriage are eager to please then there's nothing wrong. As soon as one stops pleasing the other must stop as well.

 

[The Cushitic One]

Guys, The Cushitic One is here, I am done talking to ya all folks. Cushitic, nakeen love

I've missed you ......

 

[Zumar]

You have the right attitude Shukri. Not forgetting your roots is important and to pass that on to your children. It is the only reason I ignored white and brown beauties alike around me. I can't get past that identity of mine despite my desires for beauty that cuts across ethnicity.

Keep your mom in mind in your future decisions. She will be great help to you if by Allah's will you end up with a man she can relate to who is Somali.

Even after you marry, you will need your mother around and her love still..

Exactly, ill will always support my mother, if shes old if shes sick it doesnt matter what, and a cadaan guy would never understand
Whenever their mom gets old and sick they throw m in a retirement home

and thanks for your advice ill keep it in mind
Inshallah youll find what you're searching for

 

[Bohol]

Adeer, I need advice from you since you are sensible when it comes to traditional roles. The guy was A': a virgin, respected women, was always nice to me (when we argued last night I cussed him out but he was calm), very religious he was practically a Muslim but he worshipped Christ, should I keep it like it is and not go back to him?

If he is a virgin it means he doesn't know what he is doing. Find someone that can match your wildness. :siilaanyosmile:

 

[InfoMatic]

I've missed you ......

View attachment 20562

Some of the guys here will miss Afur if we keep this up(not referring to Duke specifically although he can add himself to the list)





Thanks For the Air Kiss.

 

[Bohol]

So ruuntay maha inabti.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

If he is a virgin it means he doesn't what he is doing. Find someone that can match your wildness. :siilaanyosmile:

Yes, I had to explain so much concepts of our relationship to him. After the first time we argued he felt inadequate I had to explain to him arguments are natural in relationships. Thing is I'm a virgin, I want to marry a virgin. I kinda feel bad now. I will wait a week maybe a month. If I suddenly get a message from God to go back to him I will but right now we need a break. I cussed at him last night, yelled at him, publicly embarrassed both of us. Ugh, I need time to think.

 

[Gambar]

So ruuntay maha inabti.

I knew you were gonna say that. You remind me of my HY brother in law you're just more maskeen.

Unfortunately you are right. Men are like toddlers they lose interest quickly. That's why ladies should always marry a maskeen.

 

[GodKnowsBest]

Exactly, ill will always support my mother, if shes old if shes sick it doesnt matter what, and a cadaan guy would never understand
Whenever their mom gets old and sick they throw m in a retirement home

and thanks for your advice ill keep it in mind
Inshallah youll find what you're searching for

You are wrong. This is why he said you needed upper middle class White guys. I only date in my income and education range. This guy worshipped his mom.

 

[VixR]

I disagree. I feel that if both partners in marriage are eager to please then there's nothing wrong. As soon as one stops pleasing the other must stop as well.

Nah, it's a recipe for disaster. Everything in moderation. That's not to say you shouldn't want to please your partner, bc conversely it's a huge problem if you dont. That would be the other extreme.

 

[Zumar]

Yes, I had to explain so much concepts of our relationship to him. After the first time we argued he felt inadequate I had to explain to him arguments are natural in relationships. Thing is I'm a virgin, I want to marry a virgin. I kinda feel bad now. I will wait a week maybe a month. If I suddenly get a message from God to go back to him I will but right now we need a break. I cussed at him last night, yelled at him, publicly embarrassed both of us. Ugh, I need time to think.

I had this fase for like months but you should make a list in your head with pros and cos and get distance from him

Also you should realise that you can live without him too, even though you think its hard now

The best way to get rid of him is by blocking all his numbers and everything deleting all your pics etc

Also reading the quran helps a lot or talking with a mother of sister of anything like that...

 

[InfoMatic]

Exactly, ill will always support my mother, if shes old if shes sick it doesnt matter what, and a cadaan guy would never understand
Whenever their mom gets old and sick they throw m in a retirement home

and thanks for your advice ill keep it in mind
Inshallah youll find what you're searching for

Your mom can be a source of strength for you in your decisions. When you choose a guy, keep her in mind. I wish you good luck sis. You are a good girl. Your mom raised you well.