ItsHanna
I am the Toby Flenderson of this forum
Since when is "worshipping" part of dating?
I've always had guys I've dated give me a lot of love and attention. So I'm used to it. It's a requirement now.
How to deal with breakups
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I've always had guys I've dated give me a lot of love and attention. So I'm used to it. It's a requirement now.
It was your choice to go out with the white guy. Think about the mental process you went through to justify going out with him. It would be clear as a day light that a Somali guy had nothing to do with it.
You liked him for what?
- Personality?
- Looks?
- Religion?
- Ideals he espoused?
Or
- You wanted to have mixed kids because they are prettier than Somali kids?
- You would feel elevated because he is white and you are not worthy?
- Somali guys are all useless? Or you don't get excited by the prospect of being with one?
Just think about the process of justification you went through to give yourself up to him. It is clear a Somali guy has nothing to do with it.
black
live and let die.
Explain
In reference to Hannah who seemed enamored with holding the guy's pipe 24/7 in her mouth religiously and now she got dumped. Perhaps she overdid the pleasing rituals and he got tired of it.
black
live and let die.
Yeah, I'mma have to disagree with you on that fam. I don't think any man in the history of mankind has ever left a woman because he got too much head. It was doomed to begin with
She came across as too eager to please without a return to show for her devotion. So, I was making that point unsuccessfully. It is better to never give yourself wholly to anyone, especially when they are not married to you regardless of religious beliefs. I like to see girls get their worth out of the relationship for their sacrifice. Not self victimize and then later complain about a guy dumping them after he used them.
First of all i dont want to have mixed children, i want them to be as black as i am
I liked him by his personality, he wasnt rich or very good looking, but he had a good heart and is muslim and he never treated me badly and had always good intentions, he even met my mother
Also he had seen what a rough life is and he wasnt ignorant as other cadaan people
At first i told him no because he is white (he doesnt look white tho) and i really wanted to be with a somali guy, or at least dark, but because he is muslim i gave him a chance
But it didnt work out for me in the end so...
Sometimes i think its sad for him, he really tried his best for me and i let him down
But he is just not what im searching for in a man (no future plans, no license, no money, no degree nothing) even though he was in his mid 20s..i think its reasonable...
I agree with this. Although I think she broke up with him, so she did realise her worth.
Am I right @ItsHanna
Thats not worshipping. What do some of you mean by "Worshipping"?
I wouldn't be surprised if he found himself in your good graces soon again. You sound sympathetic. I guess he went to jail and has a record. That is why he can't get a license, a job or can have a future.
Lucky that you didn't end up knocked and with a babe by someone like that. Women always make the mistake of assuming they can fix a broken man. They end up broken themselves in their effort to rehabilitate a thug.
Better move on from him for your own good and future and have no regard for his feelings.
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I congratulate her on that move then. She is a Somali girl after all. I am direct and in her face does not mean I lack connection to her. I wish her success in her life and that she does well for herself.
Not good looking. Not educated. Not a refined cadaan I'm guessing. that's where your going wrong. What kind of man doesn't drive?
An honest advice. If your going to go for an cadaan go for the upper ecehlons of their society - a good looking, educated professional. Why set yourself up for failure by settling for less.
Yeah i always told myself never get a boyfriend untill im done with uni
and btw he doesnt have a record, he has a good job and gets 3k in a month
But he is just stupid with his money, he gets expensive clothes and everything
He would get me clothes with brands i didnt even like, i dont see the matter in expensive clothes over 100 euro
Anyways he would rather spend his money on clothes and food and friends than a house, or car or license or anything
And im completely different, id rather save money and have a nice house etc etc
But he was kind of childish, also he had no degree etc
My mom didnt raised me all by herself to marry a man who has not even 1 degree or something he did by himself
I think you get what you deserve
Also i want a man where i can loop up to and he just wasnt that guy for me
I dont want no cadaan no more, their family is so annoying
And the cadaan from the upper classes arent muslim, or streetsmart and they are pussies tbh
Will be hard but id rather have no man, than a man who is not the 1 for me
black
live and let die.
I don't think being eager to please is a bad thing at all, nor do I think it leads to a lack of devotion from a man. I mean I kind of see what you mean, but it's heavily context dependent. It's one thing if she gives head a day after exchanging names... I won't exactly be thinking about what we'll name our children. If you know what I mean? It's an entirely different thing if you're somewhat invested in her imo.
VixR
Veritas
Being eager to please is a bad thing, from both sexes, even if you're as fully invested as it could possibly get.
You will do fine with a Somali. Prayers are accepted if sincere, so I suggest you don't belittle what they can do for you in your search for a partner that will make you happy..
Do you have Somali male relatives who are a role model?
Not really, i grew up without a dad and most of my relatives live in somalia
So tbh i dont have many faith on marrying a somali guy, but you never know, first my school ill see in a couple years
I just dont want to forget where im coming from, even though i grew up here in peace and everything what my heart belongs to and some cadaan guy will never understand you know
black
live and let die.
I'll be honest, I don't perceive it as a good thing for men. Categorically disagree with it being a bad thing from women.
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