Xalimo in MN wonders why Somali guys don’t approach

[NidarNidar]

Aren’t Somali weddings separate? Lol

Not where I am lol, 70% of the time it's mixed.

 

[cooli3o]

You do you man. I guess I don't got to deal with that because no one in my family goes to mixed weddings and none of my mates would do it either.

We haven't broken any bridges. People respect principles. There is a difference between free mixing in schools/work because its a path towards your lively hood so is a necessity and going to a free mixing wedding of your own will. There is nothing necessary about it and you don't gain any benefit from it.

the thing is you don't need to go to a free mixing school, you can do everything in your power to just learn something online or without freemixing, sure it would be hard but if you try hard enough you could do it, but the thing is noone is going to do that since it is inconvenient, you could earn money from home and not freemix, all i am saying is everything is freemixed,

me acting like a wedding is somehow any worse then me walking outside into a shop to buy some drinks where there are half naked women next to me when at the wedding they are wearing hijab and there family are with them so no inappropriate behaviour will happen is abit of cognitive dissonance.

 

[cooli3o]

We haven't broken any bridges.

you say we but I dont hold the same views as the rest of my family

 

[Mj4L]

I've never been to a mixed weddings in my life.

But I was talking hypothetically,

Wow most Somalis especially girls all go weddings and show off about it , you’re one for the books I must say.

 

[Basra]

I go to mixed weddings bc the only Muslim weddings are mixed and I have to accept and invitation otherwise its rude, I just don't talk to any women or look at them

u iz a man?

 

[Odious Delirium]

the thing is you don't need to go to a free mixing school, you can do everything in your power to just learn something online or without freemixing, sure it would be hard but if you try hard enough you could do it, but the thing is noone is going to do that since it is inconvenient, you could earn money from home and not freemix, all i am saying is everything is freemixed,

me acting like a wedding is somehow any worse then me walking outside into a shop to buy some drinks where there are half naked women next to me when at the wedding they are wearing hijab and there family are with them so no inappropriate behaviour will happen is abit of cognitive dissonance.

There is no cognitive dissonance your assuming I don't do that or lived like that in my personal life. Yes it's inconvenient but it's the right way.

The thing is it's difficult because that's simply how it's gonna be until holding onto deen become like holding onto live charcoal.

If its easier to avoid in certain circumstances then simply avoid. Free mixing isn't haraam because something inappropriate will be bound to take place it's simply been made haram so there is no justifying it and downplaying it with your own personal reasons when you want to suit your situation. Just say your family will be angry with you and you can't deal with the heat instead of copeing.

I sympathise with the whole not being on the same page as family and trying to appease them but at some point your gonna have to set some boundaries if you want them to change. It's always hardest at the start but with time you can shift people on to your page.

 

[cooli3o]

Just say your family will be angry with you and you can't deal with the heat instead of copeing.

I actually don't care what my family says, but I believe their is a greater interest of keeping family ties, since free mixing isn't haram in and within itself, As long as I keep distance and do not engage in the freemixing, I do not see a problem, especially since thats what I have to do everyday anyway.

 

[GaradShabeel]

Ive hardly seems any somali guys taller than 6'1
Most are slightly above average in height

In what part of the world do you live?

 

[cooli3o]

There is no cognitive dissonance your assuming I don't do that or lived like that in my personal life. Yes it's inconvenient but it's the right way.

I was talking about myself not you

 

[AbdiFreedom]

I have seen countless Salafis in mixed weddings. It's a myth that they don't attend.

 

[Kaaha_Nuura]

Wow most Somalis especially girls all go weddings and show off about it , you’re one for the books I must say.

It's pretty normal in my world to not attend mixed weddings, and many of my friends don't

not sure why it's a surprise

 

[cooli3o]

I have seen countless Salafis in mixed weddings. It's a myth that they don't attend.

I think it really depends on a circumstance, if you have a non religious family its going to happen, if you have a religious family it is much easier to not free mix

 

[Odious Delirium]

I have seen countless Salafis in mixed weddings. It's a myth that they don't attend.

Being religious and being salafi are not synonymous

 

[Unbothered]

She is in her mid twenties, what is she gonna do with a 25 year old
Also the successful Faraxis aka providers live in Seattle and Houston. Minnesota is full of cayr collecting single fathers.

 

[Mj4L]

It's pretty normal in my world to not attend mixed weddings, and many of my friends don't

not sure why it's a surprise

You’re probably from one of them cities where there’s no Somalis

 

[AbdiFreedom]

I think it really depends on a circumstance, if you have a non religious family its going to happen, if you have a religious family it is much easier to not free mix

All of the ones I saw had no familial relationship with the bride or groom; they were invited by other people, typically other Salafis or their Muslim in Name Only friends.

Being religious and being salafi are not synonymous

Yes it is

 

[Odious Delirium]

All of the ones I saw had no familial relationship with the bride or groom; they were invited by other people, typically other Salafis or their Muslim in Name Only friends.



Yes it is

I'm not salafi and neither is anyone one in my circle yet no one attends mixed weddings. Salafi is an ideology not a piety meter. There are religious salafis and irreligious salafis

 

[attash]

Elon?
Bezos?
Gates?
Larry Page? His wife isn’t a model but a PHD holding scientist who is averagely pretty.
The founder of Instagram? His wife has an MBA and is average looking as well.
Founder of Nike? Met his wife as a student.
CEO of google- Eric met his wife as a student as well.

​

What I said stands. A lot of those women look average and are exceptionally intelligent, which is what I wrote. Those guys clearly don’t just value youth and beauty because they could gotten themselves very beautiful women decades younger. Hardly any of them are actually married to models if you actually look closely.

Even Salma Hayek whilst she’s a gorgeous woman, she married him whilst she was in her 40s from what I can remember, so even then that goes against the idea that very rich nerdy men value youth and looks.

A lot of billionaires are married to models and celebs. Bezos is currently married to one and Musk married an actress and just broke up with a singer. When they don't marry models, they marry the girls they met at the elite universities or schools they attended in their youth. The only hope one has in marrying a rich nerd is to be very beautiful or to hang around in their elite circles. I strongly doubt the woman in the reddit post is hanging around in those circles, otherwise she would have better things to do than complain on reddit about how she can't find a husband.

 

[Angelina]

A lot of billionaires are married to models and celebs. Bezos is currently married to one

Yes one who used to be that is literally a grandmother

and Musk married an actress and just broke up with a singer.

Musk isn’t married and even the singer he got pregnant isn’t even pretty

When they don't marry models, they marry the girls they met at the elite universities or schools they attended in their youth. The only hope one has in marrying a rich nerd is to be very beautiful or to hang around in their elite circles.

You’ve literally bypassed my list. Hardly any of them are married to models. Nearly of their wives are incredibly smart and even the ones that were models and actresses were older when marrying. salama? Bezos’s girl?

I strongly doubt the woman in the reddit post is hanging around in those circles, otherwise she would have better things to do than complain on reddit about how she can't find a husband.

 

[Kaaha_Nuura]

You’re probably from one of them cities where there’s no Somalis

Nope far from it

Born and raised in London