Would you go for a younger man?

[Basra]

I'm in that age range.

Trying to find a successful faraax between the ages of 28-32

Halima

U r so sophisticated. cough cough

 

[HalimaJ]

Halima

U r so sophisticated. cough cough

Choke.

Cough cough

 

[Basra]

Choke.

Cough cough

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

 

[HalimaJ]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Naya, don't start throwing shade at me.

You have too much time in that retirement home.

 

[sigmund]

prefer someone my age or younger. Females shoudlnt care about age too much once they hit their late 20s early 30s and still single, most older men will think your expired and won't be interested in you. So for me would be 3 years younger that's the minimum for me

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

The Essay award goes to nerdy Adoonka

Mahadsanid for the award my dear eedo Basra.

Ilaahay wanaaga iyo khayrka haku siyaado

Ameen

 

[one]

I never understood when my friends make a fuss about a 1 year age difference..that's like nothing.

My mom is older than my dad by one year, and my aunt is also older than her husband by four years.

 

[Ramen]

is your real name Hibo?

i dont have a name that starts with h

 

[Ramen]

I can have more than 1 obsession just fyi




Man. I was almost 16, wallahi pushing 6ft and must've had 30 lbs on her. Plus she was generally pretty dumb. Couldn't do basic math and geographically retarded. Only men and ugly women can be pedophiles to 15 year old me. That's a


what nigga

What kind of school did you go to
miskeen

 

[Kodeen]

Women that refuse to date men their own age or younger are just insecure and need to love themselves.

 

[NotMyL]

@sophisticate I say go for it, age is really nothing but a number. My husband is 2 years older but had he been 2 years younger I would’ve still married him. A friend of mine who is 25 was set up with a girl that was 29, they are happily married and have a child. Too many single xalimos are being too picky, if he’s your type and has the qualities that you’re looking for why should you let age difference stop you?

 

[Saalax Bidaar]

I don’t even think 4-5 year age difference even qualifies for older women.

When I think of marrying older it is usually 10+

 

[Sophisticate]

Yes as a kid it was just imitation but as i grew up i came to understand why i was doing it. We imitate others simply because they embody qualities or values that are dear to us. Life is an accumulation of experience some positive others negative but what's most important is not to base our actions on a single set of experience, it has to be holistic. Unfortunately this is not the case for the vast majority of us, as we tend to be quite subjective to the extent that it has a negative impact.

What i learnt from my male relatives help build my foundations but i don't take it as the ultimate life guide that i need to adopt simply because my own life experience differs from theirs. So whatever good that i learnt from them i seek to implement it in my life and even improve on it all based according to my life circumstance. Our deen encourages us to be aware of our actions, reflect on them and better ourselves to the best of our abilities.

I believe the reason why walaasha compared me to an adeer has more to do with me not meeting her notions of how young men were to supposed to act. She was actually surprised that i was very mature despite me being younger than her, for her being mature was synonymous with being older. People tend to forget or not acknowledge that there are other perspectives other than their own which may or may not better than theirs. Not willing to concede another possibility is the issue.

I definitely agree with your point about acting in accordance with social and cultural norms, it does play a vital role in how people act. For myself i tend to look at the intrinsic nature of the norm itself as there exists both good and bad reasons for such norms as opposed to follow it blindly, coerced into it or even reject it all together.

Based on my own limited observation i tend to believe that when it comes to looking for a potential spouse the issue lies with how people arrive at their set of demands/expectations and not the demands/expectations in and of themselves. People overlook a number of important factors when forming these demands.

I just hope that we make the best choices when it comes to being a guurdoon.

When you're young and precocious you're taking in everything. You were also emulating given your close proximity to your Adeers, but I'm sure it also has something to do with the positive characteristics that they possessed which you wanted to assimilate and make you're own, albeit in a different way.

Bro, humans are meaning-making machines always creating stories based on their experiences, some of which are based on singular/isolated events. Some choose to re-examine these old tales and make new scripts and others prefer to stick to vestiges of their pasts.

Its good to see you're self-reflective and self-aware. The beauty of being an adult is you can be childlike in terms of your thirst for knowledge while having the executive functioning and cognitive dexterity of an adult.

I think what happens is that we're arrested in terms of our notions of age. I've met kids in their early 20s chronologically who are biologically in their 30s, this has more to do with negative lifestyle. And if we're talking about mental age, we all know people who are emotionally stuck in a certain phase of their life that has long since gone, irrespective of their age. So, you might have presented as older in maturity though you're younger than her.

I see where she is coming from. If we have an old snapshot of her being a toddler and you being a newborn then the gap in age is significantly more pronounced as children are rapidly growing. And it can mean something in grade school, not so much later on in life. But sometimes people are unnecessarily mortified by this. But these people are just blindly following the norm mostly because of coercion, and the opinions of others which factor heavily into their decision making.

"How people arrive at their set of demands/expectations and not the demands/expectations in and of themselves"

Interesting. Probably the accumulation of experiences (some good, some less savory). And environmental factors (familial expectations, one's group of friends), we don't quite live isolated in airtight chambers and our decisions have ripple effects on others close to us. I totally agree that people overlook various factors when forming those demands.

 

[Sophisticate]

Yeah but not really old. 45 is my threshold. I like em ripe and rich

I prefer a (divorced) 40 yr old (with 0 kids of course) 40 is when a man attains full maturity and looks

Ladies, I'm all for older men, but how about relatability. It's nice being in the same generation, right? Older men have less testosterone it dips like 1% every year after age 30.

You have to really take care of yourself at that stage (the 40s) but they are usually in better financial straits so it's not like it matters much.

 

[Sophisticate]

prefer someone my age or younger. Females shoudlnt care about age too much once they hit their late 20s early 30s and still single, most older men will think your expired and won't be interested in you. So for me would be 3 years younger that's the minimum for me

I totally agree, sis. No guys my age are checking for me because I'm over 30. Woe is me. I kid.

Time for some age fishing. If I look young, what would they care? It's not like I'm showing them my license or birth certificate on request. I'll just keep my age a secret.

Women that refuse to date men their own age or younger are just insecure and need to love themselves.

Kodeen, what do you have to offer as a younger man?

 

[Sophisticate]

@sophisticate I say go for it, age is really nothing but a number. My husband is 2 years older but had he been 2 years younger I would’ve still married him. A friend of mine who is 25 was set up with a girl that was 29, they are happily married and have a child. Too many single xalimos are being too picky, if he’s your type and has the qualities that you’re looking for why should you let age difference stop you?

Lol, I know the one-day age difference seems like a lot. Hooyo should have delivered me a couple days later as the doctor said but I couldn't help but arrive 3 days early. I had to cancel this man due to natural causes. I know it sounds a tad harsh but I'm not blaming him, it's his arrival and the fact that he's breathed a little less than I have.

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[Sophisticate]

I never understood when my friends make a fuss about a 1 year age difference..that's like nothing.

My mom is older than my dad by one year, and my aunt is also older than her husband by four years.

Why do you think people make such a big fuss about it? And do you think age shaming is a thing? I'm kind of curious?

I don’t even think 4-5 year age difference even qualifies for older women.

When I think of marrying older it is usually 10+

How come you don't think it qualifies as older?

 

[sigmund]

I totally agree, sis. No guys my age are checking for me because I'm over 30. Woe is me. I kid.

Time for some age fishing. If I look young, what would they care? It's not like I'm showing them my license or birth certificate on request. I'll just keep my age a secret.



Kodeen, what do you have to offer as a younger man?

I look 13 but I'm turning 25 this summer so yh once i reach my early 30s and still not married than I would definetly consider marrying a dude I'm 4 years older than heck I might push 5. As long as you look young and you both agree age is just a number than who's stoping you? and like you said guys your older than don't look twice at older females. btw my mom married my dad and she is older than him by 6 years

 

[HalimaJ]

I look 13 but I'm turning 25 this summer so yh once i reach my early 30s and still not married than I would definetly consider marrying a dude I'm 4 years older than heck I might push 5. As long as you look young and you both agree age is just a number than who's stoping you? and like you said guys your older than don't look twice at older females. btw my mom married my dad and she is older than him by 6 years

Same age as you and I look about 15 lol. But you will be suprised how looking younger stops men from caring too much.

I have a friend in her early thirties and she still attracts Faraaxs the same age as her or a little bit younger.

I also know a few newly weds who are 28+ and their men are the same age as them.

 

[sigmund]

Same age as you and I look about 15 lol. But you will be suprised how looking younger stops men from caring too much.

I have a friend in her early thirties and she still attracts Faraaxs the same age as her or a little bit younger.

that's the thing with most somali girls we be in our mid 20s but be looking in our early teens. We are blessed honestly but tbh I've always been into guys either my age or younger. Since guys I'm older than by the time I reach 30 will be married or single with a child. I wouldn't want to marry a guy who has a child from previous marriage hence why I'm up for younger males