Would you go for a younger man?

[Muji]

Lol, I'm not a quiet type in real life. I frequently get told I talk too much.

Take it from me you don’t want to be a guy that talks too much. My good friend @AussieHustler leaves little to the imagination- we know about his commitment phobia, his pets and one user called @Crow is planning a trip to Melbourne to earn his place in jannah because of all the self-snitching aussie has done.

You on the other hand we don’t know much about you... keep it that way, it adds an air of mystery

 

[Sophisticate]

For me personally age of a woman has not been a decisive factor except when it relates to her ability to have kids. Some dumar are very mature despite being young and vice-versa. As such i've come to the conclusion that it's better to judge on a individual basis instead of generalising dumarka based on a specific age group.

I never knew age was a matter of concern for dumarka until i met one sister, despite me being 1 yr younger than her it seemed to bother her. The funny thing about it was that she said that i carried myself like an adeer basically i was an oday, i was in in my mid 20s at the time




Laakin to be frank i've always found it a bit odd when young men say they like "older women" or have a preference for them, it comes off as a sort of infatuation to say the least. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly puts you off when it comes younger men ? i'm assuming that there's underlying factors/ reasons that are associated with said "age" which makes you not interested with such men.

I can see where she's coming from (though the one-year age gap seems benign). I also didn't look twice at guys who were younger than me. He would automatically be filed into the kid brother quadrant. I think it has something to do with me being the oldest and having younger brothers. There's a need to want to protect them. More of a nurturing role rather than a romantic one.

When I confront my own personal biases' I realize there are some flaws in my assertions about younger men (even those with a smaller age gap) but most of it is based on learned behavior and conditioned from early on. That and my father is over a decade older than my mother. I suppose that was considered my normal. However, I would be sort of reluctant to do the same. I think a maximum of a 4-year gap is appropriate (and by that, I mean older).

And you make a great point, it does seem like a fetish when they say they like "older women."

 

[Sophisticate]

I was getting ahead of myself thinking about the youthful skin and the lean bodies of younger men and then @Reiko dropped me back to reality by reminding me what the practicality of this would be like when she mentioned @Jake from State Farm

A younger man like Jake has too much kibir- he will be sulking if you don’t give him enough attention and sulking if you give him too much. Also everything would be “but hoyo said this and hoyo said that”, their brain is yet to fully develop and are prone to high risk behaviours like qamri and drugs. @sophisticate is this what you want your future to look like?
View attachment 63428
@Jake from State Farm i know you’re going to start your calacaal when you read this but ask yourself why @Basra left you. You’re full of booq and talk more than women do. Women like the quiet brooding types like @Apollo

I will raise him until he can stand on his own two feet and become a contributing member of society. I will complete mamas work for her and give him a royal send-off to beautiful younger honey once I grow tired of his calcaaling I'll cut my delicious little parasite loose.

He wishes.

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

I can see where she's coming from (though the one-year age gap seems benign). I also didn't look twice at guys who were younger than me. He would automatically be filed into the kid brother quadrant. I think it has something to do with me being the oldest and having younger brothers. There's a need to want to protect them. More of a nurturing role rather than a romantic one.

When I confront my own personal biases' I realize there are some flaws in my assertions about younger men (even those with a smaller age gap) but most of it is based on learned behavior and conditioned from early on. That and my father is over a decade older than my mother. I suppose that was considered my normal. However, I would be sort of reluctant to do the same. I think a maximum of a 4-year gap is appropriate (and by that, I mean older).

And you make a great point, it does seem like a fetish when they say they like "older women."

Her answers were sort of similar to yours but in her case she had older sisters who were married to older men as well. So environment and upbringing plays an important role even though sometimes we might not be aware of it until someone points it out. After some reflection i did realise why she said i acted like an adeer, it was due to my upbringing and remember as kid i always liked being around my male relatives and tried to imitate them every chance i got.


I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but having an age difference of 10 yrs or more among our parents generation is quite common. I've only had 2 friends where the difference was less than 10 yrs.

As long as our biases don't have a negative impact in our lives everything is ok, Inshallah ugaas samaroon will sweep you away soon enough, waan kusa ducayna walaal. May Allah make it easy for you.

I believe that sort of fetish is adopted from western culture as i don't think it's the same back home, if there's a preference then it's mostly for younger women as opposed to older women.

 

[Basra]

I broke up with @Basra over Emalil. I left her she didn’t leave me.

I don’t give a shit if you like quiet emo rebel types like @Apollo
His DMs are available hit him up.

Imma be myself if it’s bothers you put me on ignore

Yes I confirm Jerome left me. He broke my hart.

 

[Sophisticate]

Her answers were sort of similar to yours but in her case she had older sisters who were married to older men as well. So environment and upbringing plays an important role even though sometimes we might not be aware of it until someone points it out. After some reflection i did realise why she said i acted like an adeer, it was due to my upbringing and remember as kid i always liked being around my male relatives and tried to imitate them every chance i got.


I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but having an age difference of 10 yrs or more among our parents generation is quite common. I've only had 2 friends where the difference was less than 10 yrs.

As long as our biases don't have a negative impact in our lives everything is ok, Inshallah ugaas samaroon will sweep you away soon enough, waan kusa ducayna walaal. May Allah make it easy for you.

I believe that sort of fetish is adopted from western culture as i don't think it's the same back home, if there's a preference then it's mostly for younger women as opposed to older women.

So, you were just imitating the mannerisms you learned from your Adeers. Like she was following the path laid out by her sisters who also married older guys. You know what, people also do what's socially acceptable. If their friends and family disapprove of a certain course of action, they might just follow the path, or risk feeling alienated. People long to belong, and if it means not pursuing a younger man because those around you find it strange or dare I say abhorrent you might just co-sign. Unless you're one of the rare few that are aware but don't care.

Lol, beri hore men used to marry when they were financially ready. So, I'm not surprised by the age gap.

Thank you for the prayers.

I think, in general men like attractive women. Older women are no exception from that, but finding someone attractive is one thing. Considering them eligible is another. There is more of an inclination towards younger women as that's the peak of fertility. There is also an assumption that she is less experienced and less jaded. Which makes sense chronologically. However, it isn't always the case. I will say that they have more options younger, as there is a sea of eligibles their age and older which are on the lookout for them (and not quite pegged off yet). I think we live in a generation where we're looking for more than just a provider but some form of self-actualization from a relationship. Provisions are important but people are more demanding in terms of what they are looking for ( I could be wrong and have a slanted view from being a female a western born and raised one at that).

Somali men in particular often marry when they are financially ready to do so. Once they have their financial situation at a place they want to be they settle down.

 

[Lamiis]

I can never date/marry a guy who is the same age as me let alone younger than me

 

[Sophisticate]

I can never date/marry a guy who is the same age as me let alone younger than me

Do you like older gents?

 

[Madaxgaab]

Intresting thread , op you shouldve done a poll .Mans want to know what majority females on here would choose .

@dragonsin soo gaal abaay I want to know your opinion on this

 

[bluebird]

I prefer a (divorced) 40 yr old (with 0 kids of course) 40 is when a man attains full maturity and looks

 

[Lamiis]

Do you like older gents?

Yeah but not really old. 45 is my threshold . I like em ripe and rich

 

[Ramen]

Man, I used to have a thing for a few of my teachers. Idc, even now I wish she would've creeped with 15 y/o me like those American cadan female teachers. But that guy Macron got it all fucked up. Guy actually wifed his teacher, that's hustling backwards. I bet the student-teacher roleplay is so dead for them

So you wanted to hook up with a pedophile? Waryaa get your brain checked



I had a teacher that almost every guy had a crush on. She looked 21 laakin I searched her name up and she turned out to be a 42 year old lesbian


I don't look at people the same anymore

 

[Basra]

So you wanted to hook up with a pedophile? Waryaa get your brain checked



I had a teacher that almost every guy had a crush on. She looked 21 laakin I searched her name up and she turned out to be a 42 year old lesbian


I don't look at people the same anymore

is your real name Hibo?

 

[Basra]

sophi

how tall are ya>?

 

[Kodeen]

You’re obsessed with cadan women wallahi. Come back to us when you want your baris and hilib seasoned balayo

I can have more than 1 obsession just fyi

So you wanted to hook up with a pedophile? Waryaa get your brain checked



I had a teacher that almost every guy had a crush on. She looked 21 laakin I searched her name up and she turned out to be a 42 year old lesbian


I don't look at people the same anymore

Man. I was almost 16, wallahi pushing 6ft and must've had 30 lbs on her. Plus she was generally pretty dumb. Couldn't do basic math and geographically retarded. Only men and ugly women can be pedophiles to 15 year old me. That's a

Tf did I just read.

what nigga

 

[Muji]

I’m

I can have more than 1 obsession just fyi




Man. I was almost 16, wallahi pushing 6ft and must've had 30 lbs on her. Plus she was generally pretty dumb. Couldn't do basic math and geographically retarded. Only men and ugly women can be pedophiles to 15 year old me. That's a


what nigga

You’re 6ft?

 

[dragonsin]

Intresting thread , op you shouldve done a poll .Mans want to know what majority females on here would choose .

@dragonsin soo gaal abaay I want to know your opinion on this

Lmao

It depends I guess. 2 or 3 years younger isn’t a problem as long as he’s mature.

Too bad men usually aren’t tho

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

So, you were just imitating the mannerisms you learned from your Adeers. Like she was following the path laid out by her sisters who also married older guys. You know what, people also do what's socially acceptable. If their friends and family disapprove of a certain course of action, they might just follow the path, or risk feeling alienated. People long to belong, and if it means not pursuing a younger man because those around you find it strange or dare I say abhorrent you might just co-sign. Unless you're one of the rare few that are aware but don't care.

Lol, beri hore men used to marry when they were financially ready. So, I'm not surprised by the age gap.

Thank you for the prayers.

I think, in general men like attractive women. Older women are no exception from that, but finding someone attractive is one thing. Considering them eligible is another. There is more of an inclination towards younger women as that's the peak of fertility. There is also an assumption that she is less experienced and less jaded. Which makes sense chronologically. However, it isn't always the case. I will say that they have more options younger, as there is a sea of eligibles their age and older which are on the lookout for them (and not quite pegged off yet). I think we live in a generation where we're looking for more than just a provider but some form of self-actualization from a relationship. Provisions are important but people are more demanding in terms of what they are looking for ( I could be wrong and have a slanted view from being a female a western born and raised one at that).

Somali men in particular often marry when they are financially ready to do so. Once they have their financial situation at a place they want to be they settle down.

Yes as a kid it was just imitation but as i grew up i came to understand why i was doing it. We imitate others simply because they embody qualities or values that are dear to us. Life is an accumulation of experience some positive others negative but what's most important is not to base our actions on a single set of experience, it has to be holistic. Unfortunately this is not the case for the vast majority of us, as we tend to be quite subjective to the extent that it has a negative impact.

What i learnt from my male relatives help build my foundations but i don't take it as the ultimate life guide that i need to adopt simply because my own life experience differs from theirs. So whatever good that i learnt from them i seek to implement it in my life and even improve on it all based according to my life circumstance. Our deen encourages us to be aware of our actions, reflect on them and better ourselves to the best of our abilities.

I believe the reason why walaasha compared me to an adeer has more to do with me not meeting her notions of how young men were to supposed to act. She was actually surprised that i was very mature despite me being younger than her, for her being mature was synonymous with being older. People tend to forget or not acknowledge that there are other perspectives other than their own which may or may not better than theirs. Not willing to concede another possibility is the issue.

I definitely agree with your point about acting in accordance with social and cultural norms, it does play a vital role in how people act. For myself i tend to look at the intrinsic nature of the norm itself as there exists both good and bad reasons for such norms as opposed to follow it blindly, coerced into it or even reject it all together.

Based on my own limited observation i tend to believe that when it comes to looking for a potential spouse the issue lies with how people arrive at their set of demands/expectations and not the demands/expectations in and of themselves. People overlook a number of important factors when forming these demands.

I just hope that we make the best choices when it comes to being a guurdoon.

 

[HalimaJ]

Personal preference. I like mature women who maintain their youth. Best age for that is 23-25. Younger, and they tend to be too immature. Older is fine, with my age as the upper limit.

I'm pretty confident I'll make 6 figures by 28-30. At that point, I'd say I'm ready for marriage and being a father.

I'm in that age range.

Trying to find a successful faraax between the ages of 28-32

 

[Basra]

Yes as a kid it was just imitation but as i grew up i came to understand why i was doing it. We imitate others simply because they embody qualities or values that are dear to us. Life is an accumulation of experience some positive others negative but what's most important is not to base our actions on a single set of experience, it has to be holistic. Unfortunately this is not the case for the vast majority of us, as we tend to be quite subjective to the extent that it has a negative impact.

What i learnt from my male relatives help build my foundations but i don't take it as the ultimate life guide that i need to adopt simply because my own life experience differs from theirs. So whatever good that i learnt from them i seek to implement it in my life and even improve on it all based according to my life circumstance. Our deen encourages us to be aware of our actions, reflect on them and better ourselves to the best of our abilities.

I believe the reason why walaasha compared me to an adeer has more to do with me not meeting her notions of how young men were to supposed to act. She was actually surprised that i was very mature despite me being younger than her, for her being mature was synonymous with being older. People tend to forget or not acknowledge that there are other perspectives other than their own which may or may not better than theirs. Not willing to concede another possibility is the issue.

I definitely agree with your point about acting in accordance with social and cultural norms, it does play a vital role in how people act. For myself i tend to look at the intrinsic nature of the norm itself as there exists both good and bad reasons for such norms as opposed to follow it blindly, coerced into it or even reject it all together.

Based on my own limited observation i tend to believe that when it comes to looking for a potential spouse the issue lies with how people arrive at their set of demands/expectations and not the demands/expectations in and of themselves. People overlook a number of important factors when forming these demands.

I just hope that we make the best choices when it comes to being a guurdoon.

The Essay award goes to nerdy Adoonka