Why do some Somali women have double standards

[Factz]

Most Xalimos work in the west. Even if their husband is paying the bills and rent, they are still contributing financially such as paying for groceries ect. Therefore the man should help out here and there as well.

Women in this day and age work, cook, clean, carry babies, give, birth, primary caregivers ect. Statistics show that marriages benefit men more than women.

Even if your wife is a housewife, she is going to need help. Being a house wife and mother is a never ending job, especially when you have crying babies. The Prophet S.A.W, who was a traditional man with traditional wives would help out. Men in those days had more pressure than men today. They would go to battle and do hard labour. Now we have men crying about difficulties, when all they do is work 9-5.

No relationship is ever 50/50. Women due to biological nature and being primary caregivers of children, will always end up doing more.

You've completely misunderstood my point and went to another subject that does not even relate to this thread. I'm quoting those hypocritical women who want a traditional man but hate the idea of cooking and cleaning for their husband. Do you understand?

My entire point is don't expect a traditional husband if you can't be traditional yourself. Move into a modern relationship.

Believe it or not but there are 50/50 relationship also known as modern relationships and they work. White men made it possible. They exist thanks to feminism.

Cooking and chores are not rocket science. A traditional wife should be able to do it all by herself. Nobody brought up childbearing and of course, a father should sometimes support her but most of the time the wife should be taking that responsibility.

Lastly, I don't know why you brought up prophet Muhammed (PBUH). You have to understand he was a poor man financially so he would help out his family because his wife Khadija (RA) was a rich businesswoman. He had a different life situation which is not comparable to modern men with money. I mean what about prophet Solomon (PBUH) who was a very rich man and he had multiple wives massaging him, hand feeding him and serving anything he demanded. Do you see Muslim men bringing up prophet Solomon (PBUH)?

 

[Robin]

You've completely misunderstood my point and went to another subject that does not even relate to this thread. I'm quoting those hypocritical women who want a traditional man but hate the idea of cooking and cleaning for their husband. Do you understand?

My entire point is don't expect a traditional husband if you can't be traditional yourself. Move into a modern relationship.

Believe it or not but there are 50/50 relationship also known as modern relationships and they work. White men made it possible. They exist thanks to feminism.

Cooking and chores are not rocket science. A traditional wife should be able to do it all by herself. Nobody brought up childbearing and of course, a father should sometimes support her but most of the time the wife should be taking that responsibility.

90% of men can’t afford to support a family on one income, genius. Women have always worked alongside men since the beginning of time, and yet we’re expected to give birth and serve ungrateful men like you.

What is your brilliant suggestion then? The vast majority of women cannot find a man who’s able to support us. We can’t be “traditional” wives even if we wanted to. You live under a rock or something?

 

[Factz]

90% of men can’t afford to support a family on one income, genius. Women have always worked alongside men since the beginning of time, and yet we’re expected to give birth and serve ungrateful men like you.

What is your brilliant suggestion then? The vast majority of women cannot find a man who’s able to support us. We can’t be “traditional” wives even if we wanted to. You live under a rock or something?

My brilliant suggestion? Nice bullshit statistics you got there, btw.

Broke men are smart. They go into modern relationships where everything is 50/50.

Men in the middle class and upper class have the right to demand a traditional wife.

There's your answer.

 

[Robin]

My brilliant suggestion? Nice bullshit statistics you got there, btw.

Broke men are smart. They go into modern relationships where everything is 50/50.

Men in the middle class and upper class have the right to demand a traditional wife.

There's your answer.

Nigga your answer is bullshit. Middle class men can’t afford shit, and upper middle class men aren’t abundant.

Somali men really are deluded. Thanks for reminding me to keep on curving you broke, arrogant faraxs

 

[YourBroMoe]

A lot of people talking here, ain't even really living that life. That's pretty funny. As for marriage as a double standard, it doesn't matter. When it comes to chopping it up, if the deal doesn't look good to you, you simply walk away from the negotiation table. Ain't nothing else to say really.

 

[Factz]

Nigga your answer is bullshit. Middle class men can’t afford shit, and upper middle class men aren’t abundant.

Somali men really are deluded. Thanks for reminding me to keep on curving you broke, arrogant faraxs

You're actually a retard if you believe what you said.

The upper middle class is often made up of highly educated business and professional people with high incomes, such as doctors, lawyers, stockbrokers, and CEOs. They can easily afford a traditional wife.

I've seen many middle class men who make a decent amount of money and have successful traditional marriages.

I don't know why I respond to clowns such as yourself.

 

[HalimaJ]

You've completely misunderstood my point and went to another subject that does not even relate to this thread. I'm quoting those hypocritical women who want a traditional man but hate the idea of cooking and cleaning for their husband. Do you understand?

My entire point is don't expect a traditional husband if you can't be traditional yourself. Move into a modern relationship.

Believe it or not but there are 50/50 relationship also known as modern relationships and they work. White men made it possible. They exist thanks to feminism.

Cooking and chores are not rocket science. A traditional wife should be able to do it all by herself. Nobody brought up childbearing and of course, a father should sometimes support her but most of the time the wife should be taking that responsibility.

Lastly, I don't know why you brought up prophet Muhammed (PBUH). You have to understand he was a poor man financially so he would help out his family because his wife Khadija (RA) was a rich businesswoman. He had a different life situation which is not comparable to modern men with money. I mean what about prophet Solomon (PBUH) who was a very rich man and he had multiple wives massaging him, hand feeding him and serving anything he demanded. Do you see Muslim men bringing up prophet Solomon (PBUH)?

I brought him up because helping your wife is Sunnah. It is Sunnah, and has no bearing to wealth.Khadijah was not a modern woman who left her house and worked. She had people running her business for her. She was a homemaker. Also, the prophet S.A.W had 9 wives and he would help. There are hadiths narrated by Aisha, which tells us how he would help them. The Prophet S.A.W provided for his wives as they too were poor.

You can't use Prophet Solomon as an example. He was an extremely rich man who could afford slaves to not only serve him, but also his wives. That is a silly statement.

50/50 relationships is not real because even within these so called feminist relationships the women do most of the cooking, cleaning and child rearing. Statistics and countless studies show this. Cooking, cleaning along with raising kids is hard due to the fact that it is tiring.

There is a reason why mothers are respected so much, and that is because raising and looking after a family is hard. Its mother, mother, mother...then the father. The level of ungratefulness a lot of men display is unreal.

Are these men carrying a child for 9 months, going through the physical and emotional pain of birthing, breastfeeding, nursing ect?

Men and women are not the same.

50/50 does not exist.

 

[Factz]

I brought him up because helping your wife is Sunnah. It is Sunnah, and has no bearing to wealth.Khadijah was not a modern woman who left her house and worked. She had people running her business for her. She was a homemaker. Also, the prophet S.A.W had 9 wives and he would help. There are hadiths narrated by Aisha, which tells us how he would help them. The Prophet S.A.W provided for his wives as they too were poor.

You can't use Prophet Solomon as an example. He was an extremely rich man who could afford slaves to not only serve him, but also his wives. That is a silly statement.

50/50 relationships is not real because even within these so called feminist relationships the women do most of the cooking, cleaning and child rearing. Statistics and countless studies show this. Cooking, cleaning along with raising kids is hard due to the fact that it is tiring.

There is a reason why mothers are respected so much, and that is because raising and looking after a family is hard. Its mother, mother, mother...then the father. The level of ungratefulness a lot of men display is unreal.

50/50 does not exist.

Bringing up Prophet Solomon (PBUH) is not a silly statement because there are many wealthy guys and I can bring up many prophets who had money but weren't extremely wealthy and yet had traditional wives serving them. You're bringing up prophet Muhammed (PBUH) who had a different lifestyle and not relatable to today.

Who said providing your wife and maintaining her needs is not helping your wife?

Yes, modern relationships actually work. You can disagree all you want but they exist and they do work. There are men doing 50% of the cooking, chores and childbearing while their wife pays half of the rent, bills and work. Heck, you will find men doing most of the house duties more while their wife is doing most of the working and providing. Yes, there are simps like that exist. I've seen these crazy documentaries.

I'm a traditionalist with good money, alhamdulillah so yes, I do expect my wife to do all the cooking and chores. If you don't like it fine but it's common throughout the Somali and even Muslim communities.

 

[HalimaJ]

Bringing up Prophet Solomon (PBUH) is not a silly statement because there are many wealthy guys and I can bring up many prophets who had money but weren't extremely wealthy and yet had traditional wives serving them. You're bringing up prophet Muhammed (PBUH) who had a different lifestyle and not relatable to today.

Who said providing your wife and maintaining her needs is not helping your wife?

Yes, modern relationships actually work. You can disagree all you want but they exist and they do work. There are men doing 50% of the cooking, chores and childbearing while their wife pays half of the rent, bills and work. Heck, you will find men doing most of the house duties more while their wife is doing most of the working and providing. Yes, there are simps like that exist. I've seen these crazy documentaries.

I'm a traditionalist with good money, alhamdulillah so yes, I do expect my wife to do all the cooking and chores. If you don't like it fine but it's common throughout the Somali and even Muslim communities.

Men cannot childbear. Women give birth and breastfeed.. So not possible. Unless you are going to tell me that men can get pregnant and produce milk? If 50/50 works, there wouldn't be countless studies and disgruntled western women. Look it up, i really can't be bothered to copy and paste today.

The prophet S.A.W was a traditional man and his wives were housewives. So it makes sense to bring him up. Totally relatable. Also, scholars regard it a sunnah to help your wife. This is a fact. We as Muslims follow in the Sunnah of the prophet S.A.W. The only aspect that isn't relatable is that the Prophet S.A.W had 9 wives, whilst Muslim men are not allowed.

Men that would work hard all day and fight in battle would still help their wives. Why? Because that is what a decent husband does. And that is what the Sunnah entails for Muslim men.

I'm not saying that man should do as much as the woman, especially if he is providing. All i'm saying is that men should have compassion and help their wives when they can see she needs help. Women are not glorified maids.

Marriage isn't tit for tat. Just help each other and have naxaaris. This is something i've come to realise after marrying.

 

[Factz]

Men cannot childbear. Women give birth and breastfeed.. So not possible. Unless you are going to tell me that men can get pregnant and produce milk? If 50/50 works, there wouldn't be countless studies and disgruntled western women. Look it up, i really can't be bothered to copy and paste today.

The prophet S.A.W was a traditional man and his wives were housewives. So it makes sense to bring him up. Totally relatable. Also, scholars regard it a sunnah to help your wife. This is a fact. We as Muslims follow in the Sunnah of the prophet S.A.W. The only aspect that isn't relatable is that the Prophet S.A.W had 9 wives, whilst Muslim men are not allowed.

Men that would work hard all day and fight in battle would still help their wives. Why? Because that is what a decent husband does. And that is what the Sunnah entails for Muslim men.

I'm not saying that man should do as much as the woman, especially if he is providing. All i'm saying is that men should have compassion and help their wives when they can see she needs help. Women are not glorified maids.

Marriage isn't tit for tat. Just help each other and have naxaaris. This is something i've come to realise after marrying.

Look you are comparing apple and oranges here.

Prophet Muhammed (PBUH) was poor and had 11 wives.

Me? I want one wife and I am not poor.

Many prophets did not have the same lifestyle as prophet Muhammed (PBUH) because some of them were not poor. Therefore they had different types of marriages. It's common sense.

Cooking and chores are not difficult. The only issue is childbearing and of course, you can help your wife but most of the time it is the wife's responsibility. I think everybody here agrees to help your wife out if she is struggling.

Again, I am not a supporter of modern relationships but there are countless documentaries you would not believe. 50/50 doesn't have to be breastfeeding. I'm talking about taking care of your wife and kids. There are men who do most of the house duties while their wife is working and providing then you have split share. You shouldn't be surprised anything related to white people. They explore and do crazy things.

 

[Farjano-Walad]

Now I said "some" because not all Somali women think the same as the hypocrites I'm talking about.

They expect a man to be traditional but won't be traditional themselves? They cry that no Somali men want them but they don't see the reason why.

If you can't keep up your bargain then don't expect Somali men to be traditional because he will not give you meher. The wedding, honeymoon, house rent and bills will be split to 50/50. When you're on a date with him, you'll pay your half.

If you do in fact want a traditional husband that gives you your meher. You want him to pay for the entire wedding and honeymoon cost. You want him to pay the house rent, bills and etc. You want a real man to be the head of the house, provider and protector then fulfil your traditional gender roles like cooking, cleaning and satisfying his sexual needs. That's the only way to fulfil your requirements because that's the only way to make yourself useful, the only way to prove your love for him or else what are you doing at his house?

The purpose of marriage and relationships is about covering each other's needs and scratching each other's back. If one cannot fulfil their gender role. They are useless, selfish, unloving and they clearly have no purpose for a relationship so you should dismiss them.

If you prefer modern relationships where everything is split 50/50. Okay, great on you but don't expect a traditional spouse if you can't be traditional yourself.

you need to start making money son, dont moan, make money, marry her and tell her to stay at home and look nice for you, deep down she will like it, females want to stay at home, stop this 50/50 BS

you maker money, yuo pay the bills, she cooks and blows you, enough, stick to traditional gender roles man,

 

[Factz]

you need to start making money son, dont moan, make money, marry her and tell her to stay at home and look nice for you, deep down she will like it, females want to stay at home, stop this 50/50 BS

you maker money, yuo pay the bills, she cooks and blows you, enough, stick to traditional gender roles man,

Kkk, this is not about me. I make loads of money alhamdulillah and already found a traditional wifey material.

I was only calling out the double standards among some women in our community who want a traditional husband but refuse to cook and clean.

 

[Farjano-Walad]

Kkk, this is not about me. I make loads of money alhamdulillah and already found a traditional wifey material.

I was only calling out the double standards among some women in our community who want a traditional husband but refuse to cook and clean.

dont judge till you walk a mile in their shoes or their husbands shoes, yes some are damaged by western movies and indian movies with jecel obsession bllywoodm style fantasy etc, but let it be, stick t your wifey type and live and let ,live old boy,

 

[Lostbox]

They take a lot of mental load off you is pretty much worth it in my book. They have beauty but no status which I have a problem with.

 

[Yukon_Niner]

I can't name 1 thing poorer then a Somali man lool

A Somali woman, wasn't even that hard.

 

[Lum]

The way that I see feminism is a union. We created a union to establish rights because men were getting away with too much. Now I want the best deal for women. I’m happy to put a feminist hat when I push for equal pay and when it comes to who pays the bill, I’m happy to wear my traditional hat. Cadan woman taught us well.

False.

 

[IBRAHIM.]

She said Ancient men went to war, then came home to play house with their wives. Wallahi this girl’s logic is just mad stupid.

 

[HalimaJ]

She said Ancient men went to war, then came home to play house with their wives. Wallahi this girl’s logic is just mad stupid.

There is a sahih hadith in which Aisha narrated what the Prophet S.A.W would do:

Aisha, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), was asked, “What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family (كَانَ يَكُونُ فِي مِهْنَةِ أَهْلِهِ) and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Bukhari)


In another report Aisha is reported to have said, “He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.” (Adab Al-Mufrad graded sahih by Al-Albani)

Furthermore, he went to battle, fought wars and conquered lands. So, do you find what the Prophet S.A.W used to do funny?

 

[Muji]

@Factz I don’t believe you walal

I believe Inquisitive when he says he wants a submissive quiet maskeen xalimo who is going to do the dishes and hide in her room whenever someone knocks the door but I don’t believe this is something you would like. I think you’re more into women who present a challenge, who have their own goals and aspirations and are not afraid to call you out on your bullshit. Anything else you would get bored of and lose interest very quickly.

 

[Factz]

@Factz I don’t believe you walal

I believe Inquisitive when he says he wants a submissive quiet maskeen xalimo who is going to do the dishes and hide in her room whenever someone knocks the door but I don’t believe this is something you would like. I think you’re more into women who present a challenge, who have their own goals and aspirations and are not afraid to call you out on your bullshit. Anything else you would get bored of and lose interest very quickly.