Why do a lot of Somali girls marry men that are not on their level?

[AbdiFreedom]

Oh so you're saying that clapped girls between 26 - 29 get slim pickings in the Somali community

Below average women have to be proactive and find someone when they are younger or work on themselves (not including job) as they get older (personality, smile, kind, fitness) to become average/high value. Many people don't change for the better though and think they deserve the best and stay at their level.

At what age are families supposed to start expressing interest? What about families that are cut off from the community?

If you're high value (or above average) you get high value or above average families and men coming at you as early as 18 and early 20s for marriage. I even know a Somali guy who married a Somali girl from high school years later. There's no way a high value or above average woman who is kind and nice and has a personality gets zero interest at that age, even if you're cut from the Somali community. People notice you at school, work, neighbourhood, social media. If you don't get that by your early 20s, you're definently no more than average.

 

[j&jenterprises]

Another thing: men will marry a minimum wage woman if she is going to give him peace at home. Peace and kindness is number #1 for men, especially these high value men. These women are high value women in their eyes. They will pick these women over some higher income one that isn't lovey dovey. Your education and job means nothing if you don't give peace to a good man.

This should be indelibly etched into every girls head (those that want to circumvent spinsterhood at least). I would take a girl from baadiyo let alone Somalia and we can live peacefully & more compatible than a Somali sister from my city who we share the same TV shows, social media friends, work similar jobs, etc. We aren’t searching for a friend, Alhamdullilah my guy friends can provide 10x more humour, entertainment, insight, logical advice than any girl. What I am looking for is someone who knows her role as a wife - only then will there be harmony as spouses. I postulate that lots of females struggle to understand this as it is well known women tend to struggle with having long term friends usually so they look for the “best friend” husband, while guys simply just want a competent wife who knows her duties.

 

[Abba Sadacha]

It's natural for a woman to desire a man who is better than her. Whether it be financially, status in society, etc, it's natural.
However, if the man is a righteous Muslim, yet poor, she should marry him simply because religion matters more. Allah will enrich them and bless them as a result of their union being for his sake, for the sake of protecting themselves from that which angers him (i.e. Zina, which ranks among the top 5 major sins).
Finances can change. Who knows, as a result of this marriage, the brother could be motivated for the sake of his wife and future offspring, invest into learning a trade (plumbing, electricians, IT, etc) and make a lot more money in the future.
Plumbers where I'm at in Texas can make low to high 6 figures (100,000-400,000 and up).

 

[AbdiFreedom]

This should be indelibly etched into every girls head (those that want to circumvent spinsterhood at least). I would take a girl from baadiyo let alone Somalia and we can live peacefully & more compatible than a Somali sister from my city who we share the same TV shows, social media friends, work similar jobs, etc. We aren’t searching for a friend, Alhamdullilah my guy friends can provide 10x more humour, entertainment, insight, logical advice than any girl. What I am looking for is someone who knows her role as a wife - only then will there be harmony as spouses. I postulate that lots of females struggle to understand this as it is well known women tend to struggle with having long term friends usually so they look for the “best friend” husband, while guys simply just want a competent wife who knows her duties.

Many women are their own worst enemies. They are in constant competition and try to bring other women down if it makes them feel better. I see it all the time, especially pre covid when it was more visible at work. You're right they do not have lasting friendships. Men still speak to friends from kindergarten. Women have to be insane to get marriage advice from other women as many do not want what's best for them. My mom only spoke to unrelated women on the phone or had them over when my dad was home. She never told me why but now I know exactly why she did that. She never told us her marital problems if she did have them, forget about other hooyos. That's why women leave decent men all the time. They will try to break up your marriage if you have a minor issue that can be settled through communication. "Oh you can do better". "He's nothing". I wonder how many marriage breakdowns affecting children happened in the Somali community due to other women convincing women in workable marriages that it's unfixable. Almost all Somali men are decent and understanding so it makes no sense why the majority have divorced. It must be other women who got in their heads.

 

[Richard Pearson]

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[Smif-N-Wessun]

Ladies don’t listen to this gaslighting attempt. We are naturally inclined to seek providers dont ever compromise

Are you saying Somali men without college degrees who make more money than nurses are a compromise?

 

[Smif-N-Wessun]

Many women are their own worst enemies. They are in constant competition and try to bring other women down if it makes them feel better. I see it all the time, especially pre covid when it was more visible at work. You're right they do not have lasting friendships. Men still speak to friends from kindergarten. Women have to be insane to get marriage advice from other women as many do not want what's best for them. My mom only spoke to unrelated women on the phone or had them over when my dad was home. She never told me why but now I know exactly why she did that. She never told us her marital problems if she did have them, forget about other hooyos. That's why women leave decent men all the time. They will try to break up your marriage if you have a minor issue that can be settled through communication. "Oh you can do better". "He's nothing". I wonder how many marriage breakdowns affecting children happened in the Somali community due to other women convincing women in workable marriages that it's unfixable. Almost all Somali men are decent and understanding so it makes no sense why the majority have divorced. It must be other women who got in their heads.

How can they do better when they're just average women? They think college degrees make them more valuable, which is ridiculous. They need to humble themselves and settle with average men.

 

[Angelina]

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@AbdiFreedom
That’s actually news to me.

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[AbdiFreedom]

How can they do better when they're just average women? They think college degrees make them more valuable, which is ridiculous.

30 year old: no degree, minimum wage job, kind and sweet, cool, normal weight, sane, treats you well and gives you peace.

25 year old: Master's degree, $80-100K a year, not very loving but not a pain either, doesn't soften your heart, overweight.

Anyone would take the 30 year old.

 

[Khaemwaset]

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I dread the day I go outside and see a horde on somali half castes.

We already know that a group of half somalis started dark n n, image what they will do now with larger numbers of lost mixed people who are rejected by somali culture because we don't accept mixed people who end up looking cadaan or madow

God save us all

 

[Juliet]

Many women are their own worst enemies. They are in constant competition and try to bring other women down if it makes them feel better. I see it all the time, especially pre covid when it was more visible at work. You're right they do not have lasting friendships. Men still speak to friends from kindergarten. Women have to be insane to get marriage advice from other women as many do not want what's best for them. My mom only spoke to unrelated women on the phone or had them over when my dad was home. She never told me why but now I know exactly why she did that. She never told us her marital problems if she did have them, forget about other hooyos. That's why women leave decent men all the time. They will try to break up your marriage if you have a minor issue that can be settled through communication. "Oh you can do better". "He's nothing". I wonder how many marriage breakdowns affecting children happened in the Somali community due to other women convincing women in workable marriages that it's unfixable. Almost all Somali men are decent and understanding so it makes no sense why the majority have divorced. It must be other women who got in their heads.

You’re not a woman so stfu and stop speaking for us

 

[Smif-N-Wessun]

30 year old: no degree, minimum wage job, kind and sweet, cool, normal weight, sane, treats you well and gives you peace.

25 year old: Master's degree, $80-100K a year, not very loving but not a pain either, doesn't soften your heart, overweight.

Anyone would take the 30 year old.

Most Somali men don't even do minimum wage anymore, at least where I'm from. They're all truck drivers and earn more than educated Somali women. It's just that they're looking down on these men because don't have college degrees.

 

[Khaemwaset]

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Just tell her you wanted to be a doctor and you would've secured a wife by age 13

 

[AbdiFreedom]

@AbdiFreedom
That’s actually news to me.

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It happens alot low key when desparation kicks in on the parents part to see marriage. They will typically go through Somali men first.

You’re not a woman so stfu and stop speaking for us

Exactly. I'm not. Go cry about it. Everyone knows women drag other women down and are jealous of each other. We all know women and their multiple friendship breakdowns from school and uni and in the community. Women must know to protect themselves from other jealous women who are happy to see other marriage breakdowns or happy and glad to see other women single.

 

[j&jenterprises]

Why are people acting as if Somali girls have incredible high standards? I know so many Somali girls in London who are teachers and nurses and marry guys working Uber and warehouse jobs.

I even said before that Somali incels don’t exist because even a guy that has a criminal record will have no problem finding a Somali girl. Most families would be glad if their daughter ends up with a Somali guy regardless of his quality.

The issue which keeps getting repeated throughout the thread and most men discourse on marriage is that a woman’s employment is not indicative and has no bearing on her status in marriage. Men do not look for what women look for, this fact goes over so many female heads its amazing. I do not need a masculine spouse who brings food to the table.

 

[j&jenterprises]

It happens alot low key when desparation kicks in on the parents part to see marriage. They will typically go through Somali men first.



Exactly. I'm not. Go cry about it. Everyone knows women drag other women down and are jealous of each other. We all know women and their multiple friendship breakdowns from school and uni and in the community. Women must know to protect themselves from other jealous women who are happy to see other marriage breakdowns or happy and glad to see other women single.

One of the best advices a brother gave me was: Decide which friend she can keep and which “friend” she should shun off. As a man, you should be the source of her humour, advice, intellectual satisfaction, basically making sure she doesn’t seek advice from her friends who will give poor emotionally-induced advice.

A famous Somali maahmaah is: Dumarku waa caruur cago waaweyn leh.

 

[Juliet]

It happens alot low key when desparation kicks in on the parents part to see marriage. They will typically go through Somali men first.



Exactly. I'm not. Go cry about it. Everyone knows women drag other women down and are jealous of each other. We all know women and their multiple friendship breakdowns from school and uni and in the community. Women must know to protect themselves from other jealous women who are happy to see other marriage breakdowns or happy and glad to see other women single.

they should also protect themselves from gaslighting dusty redpill losers like you who try to convince them to settle for trash

not all women are jealous of each other, stop spewing that same stereotypical bs your crowd keeps circulating to try to manipulate naive women. you lot are the predators, trying to pit women against each other

you redpillers like to convince yourselves that men are the prize - newsflash they are NOT. they are expendable and any lady reading this has to understand that she is the prize. Look what happens when women start getting picky about who they date/marry, men go crazy - eg. growing incel movement

 

[AbdiFreedom]

they should also protect themselves from gaslighting dusty redpill losers like you who try to convince them to settle for trash

not all women are jealous of each other, stop spewing that same stereotypical bs your crowd keeps circulating to try to manipulate naive women. you lot are the predators, trying to pit women against each other

Yeah, no. I'm not redpill. An average decent Somali guy making the annual median income of $40-60K driving Uber or is a construction worker is not a trash person. They're settling for you. You will never get a $100K+ Somali man with your attitude and below average self so get used to it Miss Picky.

 

[Juliet]

Yeah, no. I'm not redpill. An average decent Somali guy making the annual median income of $40-60K driving Uber or is a construction worker is not a trash person. They're settling for you. You will never get a $100K+ Somali man with your attitude and below average self so get used to it Miss Picky.

lol im not even checking for ashy black men try again

I just don't want to see my sisters struggle

 

[AbdiFreedom]

lol im not even checking for ashy black men try again

I just don't want to see my sisters struggle

Yeah, average Somali women struggling with an average Somali man earning the median income.

A middle class and higher white man does not want a Black woman. Keep dreaming. Good luck with the lower income white convict reverts though.