i don’t get the younger vibe from you. I get the feeling you’ve been though a lot and are a former road man/troubled kid who lives in the hood and has experienced more than he should.
My story is long. But, I grew up in a middle class area but went school with kids from the hood, I was also poorest in the middle class area, so while ever kid had everything he wanted I was living in a moudly flat with multiple people sleeping in the same room, slept on the floor up until 16-17. I went school and tried to fit in with the good kids and couldn't tried to fit in with the hood kids and didn't, I ended up just doing my own thing and messing around. I got a life epiphany at 15 and proceeded to do research into Islam and all of that, at 17 I became an avid reader and talked to as many people as possible to gain wisdom on life as I realised I had been lied to my whole life about what life is supposed to be, I built up on my past experiences and after the age of 17 I feel I matured 7 years within 1 or 2 years, was very painful and noone my age did it I felt like an outcast but I mentored other kids my age(they are my age but I see them as my children unironically because I had to teach them life lessons that they never got growing up)
Anyway, I forced myself into maturity due to the deen, you cannot be a good Muslim, and immature, undisciplined, loud mouthed, hot headed, all of those things, you need patience composure discipline humbleness, always willing to learn and thirsty for knowledge, always thinking about other peoples perspectives and building on wisdom, you need strength as it is very difficult and you can never have a days break.