16-18 year old girls
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16-18 year old girls
I wouldve thought any man would want a women who could take of herself & your kids if something happened to them...if you dont mind me asking what is attractive to the established man?
The most important thing to a man I believe in choosing a potential spouse is her morals and cultural values in addition to her youth. Having a career is never considered a factor by a man when he’s on the lookout, which is what I believe confuses and enrages so many western women who can’t wrap their heads around this.
Also, as @Cumar mentioned, meeting a Somali woman nowadays in her late-twenties who hasn’t slept around looks more highly unlikely as the years go on and this presents a risk as there may be another man from her past who may enter the scene a few years down the line.
Taking care of the woman and children is the man's principal responsibility in Islam, so men aren't looking for a second provider per-se but a nurturer for their future children. To put it crudely, men are not looking to marry a woman who will compete with them in any way for the provider role.
I think the established guys are looking first and foremost for a pious, obedient and cultured girl who will raise their children with Islamic values and morals. The mother is the first teacher of the children so this is crucially important to give them a good, proper upbringing.
I don't want to generalize, but for a man, the fact a girl has 3 master's degrees is irrelevant. She could have a high school diploma and if she ticks all the boxes below, virtually all guys would wife her.
A Somali girl that ticks all of these boxes will be spoilt for choice in potential Somali husbands.
- Can she cook and clean and is she willing to take this on as her primary responsibility in the household?
- Can she speak Somali?
- Is she a practicing sister?
- Does she dress modestly?
- Does she limit her interaction with non-mahram men?
- Does she come from a good, respectable familiy?
- Is she physically attractive? Is she in shape?
The most important thing to a man I believe in choosing a potential spouse is her morals and cultural values in addition to her youth. Having a career is never considered a factor by a man when he’s on the lookout, which is what I believe confuses and enrages so many western women who can’t wrap their heads around this.
Also, as @Cumar mentioned, meeting a Somali woman nowadays in her late-twenties who hasn’t slept around looks more unlikely as the years go on and this presents a risk as there may be another man from her past who may enter the scene a few years down the line.
Taking care of the woman and children is the man's principal responsibility in Islam, so men aren't looking for a second provider per-se but a nurturer for their future children. To put it crudely, men are not looking to marry a woman who will compete with them in any way for the provider role.
I think the established guys are looking first and foremost for a pious, obedient and cultured girl who will raise their children with Islamic values and morals. The mother is the first teacher of the children so this is crucially important to give them a good, proper upbringing.
I don't want to generalize, but for a man, the fact a girl has 3 master's degrees is irrelevant. She could have a high school diploma and if she ticks all the boxes below, virtually all guys would wife her.
A Somali girl that ticks all of these boxes will be spoilt in her choice of Somali men and won't have any problems in the marriage market.
- Can she cook and clean and is she willing to take this on as her lrimarp responsibility in the household?
- Can she speak Somali?
- Is she a practicing sister?
- Does she dress modestly?
- Does she limit her interaction with non-mahram men?
- Does she come from a good, respectable familiy?
- Is she physically attractive? Is she in shape?
Thanks for giving us the inside scoop on the male psyche.
This seems to be the complete antithesis of what girls have been told with regards to seeking marriage.
That is interesting to know. So are you saying that the girl who is in medical school is no more likely to be considered marriage material compared to the girl who either didn't go to university or only completed HS?
I say this because alot of Somali girls have been told to stay in school, focus on their studies and later on, find a spouse to marry. But I always thought this idea was flawed. Marriage and education are not mutually exclusive. But at the same time, it is difficult for a girl to even find someone if her entire schedule consists of school, studying, EC'/volunteer and work.
However though, non-muslims seem to have no problem juggling relationships (although they are boyfriend-girlfriend) in addition to everything that I mentioned above. Some of my non-muslim classmates are managing perfectly fine.
The most common anecdote I hear regarding marriage these days is:
"The women have become the men they want to marry"
Its very problematic, as lot of people are straight up lying or being misleading to our girls telling them things like education will make them more attractive when it's not true.
The good news is a lot of those desirable characteristics can be learnt very easily or be implemented with practice (cooking, cleaning, staying in shape etc).
I'm interested to know what girls are told regarding this topic if you are interested in sharing.
Yes. You see, you have to understand that the mother is the most important factor in the emotional development of a child. Women are cultural transmitters, they literally shape lives. Motherhood, I’d contend, is the most important role in society, with the father - coming in a close second - being needed to provide and discipline the kids lest they become a drag on society in early adulthood. Now, if we have both parents slaving away for corporate while the child is in a day care centre having its needs catered to by strangers, who knows what the consequences could entail for the development of that child.
Personally, I’ve never even understood women who are fine with going to work instead of taking care of their children. It’s not even a gender thing tbh, if I had a choice and hypothetically had a means of providing for and being with my children as their father, I’d make the most of every moment with them. They are only young once after all, might as well cherish your time with them.
Some do though.The main problem is that Somali parents tell a woman to fend for themselves and to find a partner on their own, whereas with Pakistanis, Arabs, Indians and Afghanis, the vast majority of their women either get married to their cousins or to suitors introduced to them by their parents.
I think children are a separate issue. The woman may choose to work after she's married, but when the kids arrive, would decide to stay home and look after them during their formative years, up until they are school-aged.
I don't see any woman choosing to go to work while her kids are young, unless she is forced to due to financial reasons. That would cause resentment in any woman, as her husband is unable to financially provide for his family.
I can give you amazing children. haven't u seen my dna results? I am almost 100% somalis, i have the highest percentage here, pure faarax. I am tall and got money too. naa u couldn't do better.
hit my luuq NOW.
Many women don't think like you, there are those who believe making their own income and putting their kids in a day care is a better option.I think children are a separate issue. The woman may choose to work after she's married, but when the kids arrive, would decide to stay home and look after them during their formative years, up until they are school-aged.
I don't see any woman choosing to go to work while her kids are young, unless she is forced to due to financial reasons. That would cause resentment in any woman, as her husband is unable to financially provide for his family.
But what you said will work when the husband and wife are a team working together to raise successful children, and on top of that, are merciful and compassionate to each other.
Many women don't think like you, there are those who believe making their own income and putting their kids in a day care is a better option.
Especially if she's highly educated, she'll ask why she went through all those years just to end up a housewife. And there are those who see being a housewife as unfulfilling and oppressive.
Stop being judgemental just because a woman I sent married at certain age doesn't mean she has a past or she hates men. People have their own reason, everyone's situation is different.dont generalize pleaseOne thing somali guys are good at is they know how to pick their wives. Good girls don't go beyond 20-22 without being wifed up. If she's unmarried and is approaching 30, u better believe there's a good reason. among them:
she has a past, she used to wild out, clubbing etc..
she spent her 20s talking about I don't need no man because she finished her gender studies degree
she ran after ajnabis, dissed faaraxs, aka self hate, and hate for all things somali.
she falls into one of those three. never waste your time on a somali girl that's beyond 23 years of age unless she's in medical school.