The rise of the unmarried late 20s - early 30s Somali diaspora woman

[GeKo]

What's going on, I'm hearing of girls who can't find a good Somali guy in the west. The ones left with no options a lot of the times are being arranged with qarabo or someone there families know in Africa/Asia and sometimes in other parts of Europe.

These girls are good girls on the deen, with degrees and are working professional jobs but for whatever reason they just couldn't find a good guy here.


This isn't one case or 2, I know atleast a dozen similar cases. There are some nearing 30s and haven't even found a guy yet.


what do you think is the reason for this?

 

[Kudhufo Kadhaqaq]

These females probably thought that they had all the time in the world not remembering that they gonna hit the "wall" sooner or later.

 

[Puntlandtheglorious]

Cause we ain’t got time for ashy xalimos

 

[Hmmmm]

Those females were too busy insulting Somali guys on twitter

 

[Kudhufo Kadhaqaq]

Those females were too busy insulting Somali guys on twitter

Aren't those twitter Xalimos usually in their late teens/early 20's?

 

[Ferrari]

One thing somali guys are good at is they know how to pick their wives. Good girls don't go beyond 20-22 without being wifed up. If she's unmarried and is approaching 30, u better believe there's a good reason. among them:

she has a past, she used to wild out, clubbing etc..
she spent her 20s talking about I don't need no man because she finished her gender studies degree
she ran after ajnabis, dissed faaraxs, aka self hate, and hate for all things somali.


she falls into one of those three. never waste your time on a somali girl that's beyond 23 years of age unless she's in medical school.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

I'm trying to get me one of these xalimos. They got money. I don't know why y'all marrying broke females

 

[Gambar]

One thing somali guys are good at is they know how to pick their wives. Good girls don't go beyond 20-22 without being wifed up. If she's unmarried and is approaching 30, u better believe there's a good reason. among them:

she has a past, she used to wild out, clubbing etc..
she spent her 20s talking about I don't need no man because she finished her gender studies degree
she ran after ajnabis, dissed faaraxs, aka self hate, and hate for all things somali.


she falls into one of those three. never waste your time on a somali girl that's beyond 23 years of age unless she's in medical school.

Women can choose to be single you know? This is 2018. Maybe some want to be alone and don’t want to have children. For the ones who can’t find a man, maybe they waited too long and the pool got smaller, at that point just marry a good Muslim man. I know you guys are against shisheeye marriage but if she is saying she can’t find a guy from her race she should be open to others. I know a few friends that have been married to ajnabi (Albanians and Bosnians) for 8 years now.

 

[Hmmmm]

If it is as you stayed the Xalimo studied and worked her life to build a career with no history, I'll consider. If she was about and messed around in her 20s I'll tell her to keep on walking and con some other innocent person.

 

[AarHawd_7]

These Xaliimos don't care anymore, marrying a Madow timo-dhagax became normal for them these days. If they would spend their time better, instead of talking about Black lives Matter on twitter they would have been better of.

 

[Desert Flower]

Maybe because there isn't a way for good Somali girls and guys to meet and get to know each other (i.e. like a networking/social event). So you have a group of good, decent and hard-working Somali girls who have yet to find someone, not because there isn't anyone, but because its hard to meet them. I mean, if you are a religious and shy/modest girl, you are not going to go up and introduce yourself to the guy that you are interested in.

This is a phenomenon that I have been noticing as well. I know tons of ajanabi girls getting married young, but the same cannot be said for Somali girls. TBH, it is quite alarming.

 

[Ferrari]

Women can choose to be single you know? This is 2018. Maybe some want to be alone and don’t want to have children. For the ones who can’t find a man, maybe they waited too long and the pool got smaller, at that point just marry a good Muslim man. I know you guys are against shisheeye marriage but if she is saying she can’t find a guy from her race she should be open to others. I know a few friends that have been married to ajnabi (Albanians and Bosnians) for 8 years now.

haye walaalo ii waran? kuwaan ka hadlayo iyo kuwaad ka hadlayso isku mid ma'aha. hablaha wanaagsan nin la'aan kuma dhacdo. Usually, quite the opposite because they get a lot of suitors at once, and have a plethora of options if anything. I find it hard to believe that a girl would be interested in marriage for such a long time and will unable to find one compatible faarax. also isn't it suspicious that the ajnabis they marry are compatible with them? like they couldn't find a good somali guy from thousands of faaraxs but will find a fitting bosian faarax from a pool of 1 bosnian guy. lol ur too smart to believe that, maxaad kuugu dhacay?

 

[Sophisticate]

One thing somali guys are good at is they know how to pick their wives. Good girls don't go beyond 20-22 without being wifed up. If she's unmarried and is approaching 30, u better believe there's a good reason. among them:

she has a past, she used to wild out, clubbing etc..
she spent her 20s talking about I don't need no man because she finished her gender studies degree
she ran after ajnabis, dissed faaraxs, aka self hate, and hate for all things somali.


she falls into one of those three. never waste your time on a somali girl that's beyond 23 years of age unless she's in medical school.

Why are you lot so obbessed with me? Fyi. I don't meet the cut (none of the above). Now what?

 

[GeKo]

One thing somali guys are good at is they know how to pick their wives. Good girls don't go beyond 20-22 without being wifed up. If she's unmarried and is approaching 30, u better believe there's a good reason. among them:

she has a past, she used to wild out, clubbing etc..
she spent her 20s talking about I don't need no man because she finished her gender studies degree
she ran after ajnabis, dissed faaraxs, aka self hate, and hate for all things somali.


she falls into one of those three. never waste your time on a somali girl that's beyond 23 years of age unless she's in medical school.

Nah trust me, there are many who are good girls but its just they couldn't find a compatible guy. Don't generalize

 

[Ferrari]

Why are you lot so obbessed with me? Fyi. I don't meet the cut (none of the above). Now what?

You're in the minority group. You have a phd, so we know what u were doing in ur 20s otherwise I'd have tagged u.

 

[GeKo]

Those females were too busy insulting Somali guys on twitter

This was before twitter sxb, maybe on paltalk and somnet

 

[GeKo]

I'm trying to get me one of these xalimos. They got money. I don't know why y'all marrying broke females

most men marry down, while most women marry up in finances I mean
A guy who's successful in his career doesn't need another women working, he needs a housewife and a mother to his kids.

 

[MadMax]

Maybe because there isn't a way for good Somali girls and guys to meet and get to know each other (i.e. like a networking/social event). So you have a group of good, decent and hard-working Somali girls who have yet to find someone, not because there isn't anyone, but because its hard to meet them. I mean, if you are a religious and shy/modest girl, you are not going to go up and introduce yourself to the guy that you are interested in.

This is a phenomenon that I have been noticing as well. I know tons of ajanabi girls getting married young, but the same cannot be said for Somali girls. TBH, it is quite alarming.

Cant they do this online?

 

[YourBroMoe]

What's going on, I'm hearing of girls who can't find a good Somali guy in the west. The ones left with no options a lot of the times are being arranged with qarabo or someone there families know in Africa/Asia and sometimes in other parts of Europe.

These girls are good girls on the deen, with degrees and are working professional jobs but for whatever reason they just couldn't find a good guy here.


This isn't one case or 2, I know atleast a dozen similar cases. There are some nearing 30s and haven't even found a guy yet.


what do you think is the reason for this?

Honestly, here in Toronto, the hook up is simple as fk. If you're a decent Farax, and there's a decent Xalimo and you're of age, families will talk, and shit will happen. A lot people in the Somali community have a problem where they are born with Western views on marriage, and that it goes against the grain of Somali culture. Like simply getting married cause you're in love only. Love is important, but so is cultural unity. Unity of the families. Etc.

My recommendation is simple: don't overcomplicate marriage. It's a simple ass thing. You like a Xalimo, talk to her. Hang out with her. Get to know her. Then pitch the idea of marriage. If she's mature and ready, then talk to her family and make it happen. That's it.

 

[Gambar]

haye walaalo ii waran? kuwaan ka hadlayo iyo kuwaad ka hadlayso isku mid ma'aha. hablaha wanaagsan nin la'aan kuma dhacdo. Usually, quite the opposite because they get a lot of suitors at once, and have a plethora of options if anything. I find it hard to believe that a girl would be interested in marriage for such a long time and will unable to find one compatible faarax. also isn't it suspicious that the ajnabis they marry are compatible with them? like they couldn't find a good somali guy from thousands of faaraxs but will find a fitting bosian faarax from a pool of 1 bosnian guy. lol ur too smart to believe that, maxaad kuugu dhacay?

A woman can still choose to be single even if she has a lot of suitors. I don’t think a Somali girl has to wait around for a good Somali guy in her city too, she can move somewhere else and find someone. There is no shame in that. If a Somali girl married a Bosnian guy she most likely didn’t want to wait and chance it to find a good Somali guy. Some girls want to have children right away too. I don’t think you should be hasty with marriage because that’s how plenty end up divorced after a year.