The rise of the unmarried late 20s - early 30s Somali diaspora woman

[Zero]

These females probably thought that they had all the time in the world not remembering that they gonna hit the "wall" sooner or later.

Actually the problem is that most diaspora Somali men,especially in the West, are unemployed low life thugs with no education or a degree who live off of welfare.

 

[Ferrari]

I'll take a pass. You're getting a little old in the tooth Ferrari. Not as much hair as you used to have. I've blosoomed into a swan and you've curdled into cottage cheese.

I can give you amazing children. haven't u seen my dna results? I am almost 100% somalis, i have the highest percentage here, pure faarax. I am tall and got money too. naa u couldn't do better.
hit my luuq NOW.

 

[Kudhufo Kadhaqaq]

Actually the problem is that most diaspora Somali men,especially in the West, are unemployed low life thugs with no education or a degree who live off of welfare.

Yo settle down there boi

 

[Zero]

Yo settle down there boi

Its the truth though.In Londen you even see these unemployed low life religious sheiks with no formal education or a degree who live off of welfare claiming Islamic bullshit as the reason why they live this way.

 

[Desert Flower]

The way I see if, if you really want something you will do whatever it takes to get it. A lot of women are unamarried in older ages because they're not taking the right steps to meet the right person. Some are more focused on their careers (which is understandable), but they should not be surprised if they're 30+ and unmarried.

Edit:
Another thing is that Somali men in he West are often not as educated or as successful career wise as the women. This is a major turn off for the women (and also for the men), so you have educational and economic disparities at play. It is better for these women to seek men who value their education and career aspirations. The men might be Somali or ajnabi, but sitting around will not help. Folks need to open their eyes. Again, if you really want something you will go out and get it. Some of us might end up with ajnabi's whether we like it or not.

One thing some don't understand though is that some women (and men) don't care much for marriage as much as you think. That doesn't make them sharmuut(a)'s or anything but they might have other things they focus on in life. Everyone has their own path in life and as long as they are not harming anyone (or themselves), we must let them live their lives in peace.

I agree with all of this. To your first paragraph though, I do feel that if a girl, say she is in her early to mid 20's wants to get married someday, she needs to put herself out there, and that can mean many different things. It could mean going to events where you know that a lot of educated professionals will be in attendance. I find even going to events sporadically is good; you don't want to be labelled as the girl who is everywhere because she so desperately wants to be married. Keep a little mystery about you.

Basically, especially in our community, you are own your own when it comes to finding a spouse. The same advice holds true for sisters who find themselves in their late 20's or even 30's; it is not yet too late to get married. But, do NOT wait for anyone to hold your hand and find someone for you.

 

[Gambar]

Actually the problem is that most diaspora Somali men,especially in the West, are unemployed low life thugs with no education or a degree who live off of welfare.

They demand four wives as their xaq too and will provide for them via welfare.

 

[UpRightDown]

I never seen such, I never lived with Somalis so I ain't affected

 

[Cumar]

The guys are doing worse than the girls. The balance has been shifted and the guys don’t like it. It is because of the first generation problems that spilled over.

I agree with you in general walaal, but sometimes from the way its described you'd think it's a phenomenon which is exclusive to Somalis when it's not.

My point is women are generally outpacing Men in education and white collar employment in almost every ethnic group, not just Somalis.

Plus, being a "career woman" isn't necessarily attractive to the established guys who are still single. I have yet to hear of guys using educational attainment as a requirement for filtering out women in the marriage market. Most men don't care about that stuff.

 

[Ubax45_]

I agree with all of this. To your first paragraph though, I do feel that if a girl, say she is in her early to mid 20's wants to get married someday, she needs to put herself out there, and that can mean many different things. It could mean going to events where you know that a lot of educated professionals will be in attendance. I find even going to events sporadically is good; you don't want to be labelled as the girl who is everywhere because she so desperately wants to be married. Keep a little mystery about you.

Basically, especially in our community, you are own your own when it comes to finding a spouse. The same advice holds true for sisters who find themselves in their late 20's or even 30's; it is not yet too late to get married. But, do NOT wait for anyone to hold your hand and find someone for you.

I really like the fact that your trying to frame things in a positive way and find solutions but I personally have not found Somali events conducive to meeting people. The decent ones that aren't run by hoodrats or SJW's are few and far in between and tend to be the "professional" events or panels. I think you had mentioned elsewhere yourself that a lot of them just consist of people staring at each other and not really socializing.

 

[YourBroMoe]

It's 2018, if I'm getting married, it ain't gonna be with an uneducated woman.

I'm not dumb enough to deny that I'd want a woman to connect with. So a woman my age or a little younger, with an education and career is my ideal. Also, she needs to be fit.

 

[Zainab_7]

I agree with you in general walaal, but sometimes from the way its described you'd think it's a phenomenon which is exclusive to Somalis when it's not.

My point is women are generally outpacing Men in education and white collar employment in almost every ethnic group, not just Somalis.

Plus, being a "career woman" isn't necessarily attractive to the established guys who are still single. I have yet to hear of guys using educational attainment as a requirement for filtering out women in the marriage market. Most men don't care about that stuff.

I wouldve thought any man would want a women who could take of herself & your kids if something happened to them...if you dont mind me asking what is attractive to the established man?

 

[GeKo]

I agree with all of this. To your first paragraph though, I do feel that if a girl, say she is in her early to mid 20's wants to get married someday, she needs to put herself out there, and that can mean many different things. It could mean going to events where you know that a lot of educated professionals will be in attendance. I find even going to events sporadically is good; you don't want to be labelled as the girl who is everywhere because she so desperately wants to be married. Keep a little mystery about you.

Basically, especially in our community, you are own your own when it comes to finding a spouse. The same advice holds true for sisters who find themselves in their late 20's or even 30's; it is not yet too late to get married. But, do NOT wait for anyone to hold your hand and find someone for you.

a lot of muslim students think of the MSA (muslim student association) as a place where guys/girl are tryna find their future spouse. Some call it the "Marriage Seeking Association"
I went to some events and they were super social and mixed, I was getting marriage seeking vibes from some there lmao. I went to one event and somehow ended up playing cards with guys & girls on a round table. It was meant to be a destressor event from exams. We all started to introduce ourselves and just have fun , it didn't feel islamic though lmao.:siilaanyosmile:
But wa caadi nothing wrong with seeking marriage and getting to know the opposite gender

 

[Abkaal]

After i am done with school i am gonna settle down with a 17 year old

 

[Kudhufo Kadhaqaq]

After i am done with school i am gonna settle down with a 17 year old

Dem young gurls mayne

 

[Abkaal]

Dem young gurls mayne

Watch the old witches get salty
feels good mate

 

[Gambar]

I agree with you in general walaal, but sometimes from the way its described you'd think it's a phenomenon which is exclusive to Somalis when it's not.

My point is women are generally outpacing Men in education and white collar employment in almost every ethnic group, not just Somalis.

Plus, being a "career woman" isn't necessarily attractive to the established guys who are still single. I have yet to hear of guys using educational attainment as a requirement for filtering out women in the marriage market. Most men don't care about that stuff.

It matters for a man to be educated because he is supposed to be the head and provider that’s where the achievement gap and marriage problems come from. Plus the civil war generation had a collapse in household because most didn’t come with an education or attain one. Parents also relied on social assistance and the middle class Somalis lived far away. Ithink it will be a problem with this generation too because there is no guidance.

 

[TooMacaan]

After i am done with school i am gonna settle down with a 17 year old

17..???

No way Jose ! Wtf are you on?? You need to move to Germany, Italy, or Austria b; you missin' out forrealz.

 

[PhaedrusHunt]

I wouldve thought any man would want a women who could take of herself & your kids if something happened to them...if you dont mind me asking what is attractive to the established man?

The most important thing to a man I believe in choosing a potential spouse is her morals and cultural values in addition to her youth. Having a career is never considered a factor by a man when he’s on the lookout, which is what I believe confuses and enrages so many western women who can’t wrap their heads around this.

Also, as @Cumar mentioned, meeting a Somali woman nowadays in her late-twenties who hasn’t slept around looks more unlikely as the years go on and this presents a risk as there may be another man from her past who may enter the scene a few years down the line.

 

[Desert Flower]

a lot of muslim students think of the MSA (muslim student association) as a place where guys/girl are tryna find their future spouse. Some call it the "Marriage Seeking Association"
I went to some events and they were super social and mixed, I was getting marriage seeking vibes from some there lmao. I went to one event and somehow ended up playing cards with guys & girls on a round table. It was meant to be a destressor event from exams. We all started to introduce ourselves and just have fun , it didn't feel islamic though lmao.:siilaanyosmile:
But wa caadi nothing wrong with seeking marriage and getting to know the opposite gender

Yeah, I know quite a few who have gotten married through the MSA, but they were mostly ajanabi. So far, I haven't seen this with Somalis, but it just could be that there are way more girls than guys at these types of events. Balance is needed in terms of gender distribution.

And no, nothing is wrong in speaking with members of the opposite genders. But, what I don't appreciate is the hypocrisy. For instance, I would see uber religious girls who on the surface, would say that talking to guys (by guys, I'm referring to Somali) is ceeb, haram and you shouldn't do that. Meanwhile, they are shukaansiing dudes on the down-low and going out with them.

I then realized that there is no such thing as "wadaad." I also realized that you really cannot judge a book by its cover, or outer appearance.

 

[Abkaal]

17..???

No way Jose ! Wtf are you on?? You need to move to Germany, Italy, or Austria b; you missin' out forrealz.

16-18 year old girls