Splitting dinner bill with your husband

[Furioso]

Loooool i forget how really young you are. Listen to adeero, focus on getting an education and not on men.

Why can’t I do both?

 

[Jiron]

There's nothing wrong with what couples agree on, I have always paid on my dates and I would love to continue the tradition but if a sister is not comfortable with that and wants to pay half, I wouldn't stop her

 

[astorecalledkmart]

I don’t even have the money to buy myself new earbuds adeero. I have been putting my phone next to my ear for months. Do I seem like a person who can purchase an electric scooter?

No, but I may if I legally adopt you. I'd save a lot come tax season. There would be enough for headphones, but only the earmuff type because your baby ears need to be protected from noises that are too loud MashaAllah

 

[Jaydaan]

Im fed up with this double standard and women always playing on our manhood. A lot of men are broke and have modest income. But even more women are broke or with modest income, Broke men always get dissed, while broke women get off free. The thing with equality they claim they want. But they pick and choose what rules to follow. A woman with dignity wouldnt let a man pay anything for her early stages. I honestly dont do anything more than coffee dates or just walk until I decide I like you. And before women get all cocky.....there are more women in the market than men. So humble yourself ladies loool

 

[Furioso]

No, but I may if I legally adopt you. I'd save a lot come tax season. There would be enough for headphones, but only the earmuff type because your baby ears need to be protected from noises that are too loud MashaAllah

The adoption will take a long time to go through adeero. You can be my internet dad for now. How did you know? I have always wanted the ear muff kinds. They are so fluffy and cute. I would get these ones if I could.

 

[Inquisitive_]

Even talking to the older female coworkers was insightful. One of them, as soon as she started to venture into something that made her a lot of money, her husband whom she had a good relationship with prior, couldn’t handle it. Why, bc he didn’t feel needed. Wallahi, it’s eye-opening stuff.

You missed the part that precedes this, her gradual change in attitude which for the most part is subconscious and biologically driven (she can't help it) that communicates a lack of need which gradually morphs into repulsion for him and upgrade as she sees fit.

These are powerful biological forces you can't fight, the male really doesn't have much choice if he values a relationship were the equilibrium is right.

The more masculine the male is, the quicker he reacts to this change of circumstances and walks away from it before he is forced out.

The beta male however will hang around giving you no issues until you yourself force him out because of your gradual biological repulsion for him with time. (which you have no control over)

You have a good grasp of the psychological and biological complexities that goes into relationships, but were I think your a bit naive is thinking that you can somehow tame or manipulate these powerful biological dispositions.

The only benefit that foreknowledge of these biological processes has for you is the ability to immediately recognise the danger when it presents itself and put an end to it right there and then (job offer)

The moment you fail to do so, you have lost control over the situation and inadvertently destroyed your marriage through your own hands.

The naive idiot or the emotional clueless drama queen will instantly jump up arguing insecurity which is a sign of there inexperience and inability to understand basic human biology and psychology.

 

[VixR]

You missed the part that precedes this, her gradual change in attitude which for the most part is subconscious and biologically driven (she can't help it) that communicates a lack of need which gradually morphs into repulsion for him and upgrade as she sees fit.

These are powerful biological forces you can't fight, the male really doesn't have much choice if he values a relationship were the equilibrium is right.

The more masculine the male is, the quicker he reacts to this change of circumstances and walks away from it before he is forced out.

The beta male however will hang around giving you no issues until you yourself force him out because of your gradual biological repulsion for him with time. (which you have no control over)

You have a good grasp of the psychological and biological complexities that goes into relationships, but were I think your a bit naive is thinking that you can somehow tame or manipulate these powerful biological dispositions.

The only benefit that foreknowledge of these biological processes has for you is the ability to immediately recognise the danger when it presents itself and put an end to it right there and then (job offer)

The moment you fail to do so, you have lost control over the situation and inadvertently destroyed your marriage through your own hands.

The naive idiot or the emotional clueless drama queen will instantly jump up arguing insecurity which is a sign of there inexperience and inability to understand basic human biology and psychology.

We disagree. It’s still insecurity at the root of it.

I can’t have someone who can’t assert what he really feels and thinks, nor needs me to feel subject to his wealth in order to feel confident in himself.

 

[Inquisitive_]

We disagree. It’s still insecurity at the root of it.

I can’t have someone who can’t assert what he really feels and thinks, nor needs me to feel subject to his wealth in order to feel confident in himself.

You cannot control hypergamy, it's a powerful biological force that will make you lose respect, love and admiration for your husband if you find yourself at the wrong end of it.

Yes on the surface it looks like insecurity, but in reality it's the preservation of ones dignity and honour

The intelligent male will know his time is up long before those powerful biological processes start, the choice is to either leave on his own accord or be forced out.

This idea of talking about your feelings is purely a feminine construct, only beta males do this which is a huge turn off biologically for females, it's something she does with her female friends.

 

[VixR]

You cannot control hypergamy, it's a powerful biological force that will make you lose respect, love and admiration for your husband if you find yourself at the wrong end of it.

Yes on the surface it looks like insecurity, but in reality it's the preservation of ones dignity and honour

The intelligent male will know his time is up long before those powerful biological processes start, the choice is to either leave on his own accord or be forced out.

This idea of talking about your feelings is purely a feminine construct, only beta males do this which is a huge turn off biologically for females, it's something she does with her female friends.

What is hypergamy if I expect to make money in my own right beyond thinking of men, but the average male who sees that thinks “oh, you don’t need me”.

My friend just bought a townhouse. The conversation muddying the buy had to do with her diminished prospects bc of it. She said that if anything it would deter any weak-minded type of guy who was threatened by the fact that she has her shit together so young, which is a good point, but I had to warn her to also watch out for guys who would mooch off her.

 

[HalimaJ]

You cannot control hypergamy, it's a powerful biological force that will make you lose respect, love and admiration for your husband if you find yourself at the wrong end of it.

Yes on the surface it looks like insecurity, but in reality it's the preservation of ones dignity and honour

The intelligent male will know his time is up long before those powerful biological processes start, the choice is to either leave on his own accord or be forced out.

This idea of talking about your feelings is purely a feminine construct, only beta males do this which is a huge turn off biologically for females, it's something she does with her female friends.

Talking about feelings isn't a feminine construct but a mark of maturity. If married couples cannot articulate why they are angry or upset about something, then how are they going to communicate and set limits and boundaries?

Also, i don't believe that hypergamy is as strong as you make it seem. Many women in this world are far too content to marry and date men that sponge off them or who have hardly anything to their name. I reckon a good percentage of Somali women lack this hypergamy you speak of, because if they did, a good percentage of Abdis would not marry. I've seen it countless times and have even seen this with family/ friends unfortunately.

 

[Inquisitive_]

What is hypergamy if I expect to make money in my own right beyond thinking of men, but the average male who sees that thinks “oh, you don’t need me”.

Even if the dude stuck around you would soon kick him out or reduce him to a toothless bankrupt ceremonial figure you no longer admire or respect.

This is purely a biological process which is why I don't blame you for it, now keep in mind I am talking purely from marriage/relationship context, the relationship will only work if the guy brings more to the table.

Female's like these unfortunately become ideal prospects for male's looking for short-term flings, because guys on the same levels or above prefer younger females with nothing.

No male with any dignity wants to be a toothless figure and be dictated to by his spouse, which is what naturally happens when the female rises to a certain position. (she can't help it)

When they introduced welfare in the Somali community in the 90's, it destroyed many households because the males could not compete financially because his factory work payed less.

The fathers quickly realised that outside of great sex, there isn't really much he can offer, this is scary because an otherwise good relationship back home immediately fell apart when they got to Europe and circumstances changed.

Relationship's and marriage's are nothing more then a business, as long as the male offers more whether it be financially/psychologically/physically then whatever she is able to offer (provided she is sane of course), it will blossom, otherwise it's heading for destruction.

 

[VixR]

Even if the dude stuck around you would soon kick him out or reduce him to a toothless bankrupt ceremonial figure you no longer admire or respect.

This is purely a biological process which is why I don't blame you for it, now keep in mind I am talking purely from marriage/relationship context, the relationship will only work if the guy brings more to the table.

Female's like these unfortunately become ideal prospects for male's looking for short-term flings, because guys on the same levels or above prefer younger females with nothing.

No male with any dignity wants to be a toothless figure and be dictated to by his spouse, which is what naturally happens when the female rises to a certain position. (she can't help it)

When they introduced welfare in the Somali community in the 90's, it destroyed many households because the male could simply not compete financially with is factory work because they were paying her more

The fathers quickly realised that outside of great sex, there isn't really much he can offer, this is scary because an otherwise good relationship back home immediately fell apart when they got to Europe as the husband lost all his wealth with no transferable skill.

Relationships/marriage is nothing more then a business, as long as the male offers more whether it be financially/psychologically/physically then whatever she is able to offer (provided she is sane of course), it will blossom, otherwise it's heading for destruction.

It seems you’re of two minds. You’re admitting men feeling threatened, but you blame the woman for having dreams/goals. If my success dictates his self-worth, I’m the hypergamous one for noticing this tendency?

 

[Inquisitive_]

Talking about feelings isn't a feminine construct but a mark of maturity. If married couples cannot articulate why they are angry or upset about something, then how are they going to communicate and set limits and boundaries?

I can communicate limits and boundaries without talking about feelings, talking about feelings is emotional in nature and as male's we are primarily driven to reason via logic/deduction.

Not understanding this simple biological/psychological difference in the genders is the cause of a lot of grief, misunderstandings and fights.

Also, i don't believe that hypergamy is as strong as you make it seem. Many women in this world are far too content to marry and date men that sponge off them. I've seen it countless times and have even seen this with family/ friends unfortunately.

In the old days the alpha male was all in one, well built and chiselled as well as financially secure.

Today however it's no longer the case, the choice is usually between an out of shape balding but financially well off beta male you simply don't find physically attractive outside of the financial security he offers.

Or the financially poor but well built security guard whom you find physically alluring but financially unreliable.

Part of you wants the good strong genes and the added titillation while the other part (usually when you reach your epiphany phase) wants the financial security.

This has caused a huge issue today and the way most female's deal with it is to go for the second option (stronger genes) first then find a beta cuckold in the first category that will look after that bastard.

 

[VixR]

I see our Inquisitive has spent some time in the Redpill subreddit, my area of study into Incelnimo for a time.

 

[Hodan from HR]

@VixR @Inquisitive_

 

[Muji]

It’s amazing how @Inquisitive_ knows more about what goes through our mind than we do. Lol this is the epitome of mansplaining.

 

[HalimaJ]

You missed the part that precedes this, her gradual change in attitude which for the most part is subconscious and biologically driven (she can't help it) that communicates a lack of need which gradually morphs into repulsion for him and upgrade as she sees fit.

These are powerful biological forces you can't fight, the male really doesn't have much choice if he values a relationship were the equilibrium is right.

The more masculine the male is, the quicker he reacts to this change of circumstances and walks away from it before he is forced out.

The beta male however will hang around giving you no issues until you yourself force him out because of your gradual biological repulsion for him with time. (which you have no control over)

You have a good grasp of the psychological and biological complexities that goes into relationships, but were I think your a bit naive is thinking that you can somehow tame or manipulate these powerful biological dispositions.

The only benefit that foreknowledge of these biological processes has for you is the ability to immediately recognise the danger when it presents itself and put an end to it right there and then (job offer)

The moment you fail to do so, you have lost control over the situation and inadvertently destroyed your marriage through your own hands.

The naive idiot or the emotional clueless drama queen will instantly jump up arguing insecurity which is a sign of there inexperience and inability to understand basic human biology and psychology.

Insecurity is most definitely the root of your argument as I have noticed that you seem to regard marriage as some sort of battle ground or a constant power play. Therefore, anything you feel gives women an 'advantage' from your perspective will end with the man in the losing position. Instead of looking at wealth as simply being 'money' that one may use to purchase xyz, in the hands of women you regard it as ammunition she could potentially use to humiliate a husband.
Using psychological theories, you have essentially reduced all women to being creatures that will turn on a man if he is not at all times in a position of power.

You're an unmarried man, and having that mindset really is going to suck the mercy and kindness out of your marriage. We all become vulnerable at times walaal, male and female and the person you're married to will see you at times in your most vulnerable state. You could go through bankruptcy and for a short period of time, you have to rely on her, or you could go through physical ailments that reduce you to what you will regard as a 'beta' disposition and again you have to rely on her. If you feel she is going to use that opportune moment to walk all over you, then you are setting yourself up for failure already.

Good luck.

 

[VixR]

I refuse to be ruled by a man’s wallet. Far better women than I have been destroyed, bc they felt they could relax in the shadow of a man’s ego.

@Inquisitive_ Can you imagine how you just used 3ayd to refugee Somali families as a justified excuse for Somali men to flee their children’s lives.

 

[Inquisitive_]

It seems you’re of two minds. You’re admitting men feeling threatened, but you blame the woman for having dreams/goals. If my success dictates his self-worth, I’m the hypergamous one for noticing this tendency?

I look at the issue purely from a biological/psychological standpoint because human behaviour is easy to predict this way.

It has nothing to do with threats or insecurity because these are all secondary/tertiary issues.

We know the types of relationships that blossom the best is were the male brings more to the table then the female, your programmed to seek such males, this is biological, we can't fight this.

The moment this equilibrium is disturbed in your favour, regardless whether I feel threatened or not, YOUR behaviour will CHANGE towards me on a psychological and emotional level, it happens either fast or gradually over time.

In the end you will EITHER push me OUT or reduce me to a toothless ceremonial figure you no longer admire or respect.

If I happen to be in such a relationship, why wait for the natural biological/psychological process to kick off? and suffer unnecessarily for many months or years to come ?

I would leave without feeling insecure, because I understand that Rizq comes from Allah only, and you can't compete in all areas.

Of course I will not do so immediately and wait for the justifications which will come quick as her attitude towards me begins to change.

I will give her a warning which will fall on deaf ears, and after 3 strikes I will be out.

 

[Furioso]

I look at the issue purely from a biological/psychological standpoint because human behaviour is easy to predict this way.

It has nothing to do with threats or insecurity because these are all secondary/tertiary issues.

We know the types of relationships that blossom the best is were the male brings more to the table then the female, your programmed to seek such males, this is biological, we can't fight this.

The moment this equilibrium is disturbed in your favour, regardless whether I feel threatened or not, YOUR behaviour will CHANGE towards me on a psychological and emotional level, it happens either fast or gradually over time.

In the end you will EITHER push me OUT or reduce me to a toothless ceremonial figure you no longer admire or respect.

If I happen to be in such a relationship, why wait for the natural biological/psychological process to kick off? and suffer unnecessarily for many months or years to come ?

I would leave without feeling insecure, because I understand that Rizq comes from Allah only, and you can't compete in all areas.

Of course I will not do so immediately and wait for the justifications which will come quick as her attitude begins to change, I will give her a warning which will fall on deaf ears, and it will be 3 strikes and out for me.

So are you trying to say that the respect and love a woman has for her partner is determined by wealth? That is a pretty screwed up way of thinking. You make women sound like beasts on the hunt for a payout.