Splitting dinner bill with your husband

VixR

Veritas
She made the mistake of starting that precedent on the first date, probably. The truth is, if they have a problem paying the bill, they don’t want you, and yet you’re making it easier on them.
 
She made the mistake of starting that precedent on the first date, probably. The truth is, if they have a problem paying the bill, they don’t want you, and yet you’re making it easier on them.

But what if the guy’s broke and can’t afford that kind of lifestyle?
:cosbyhmm:
 
She made the mistake of starting that precedent on the first date, probably. The truth is, if they have a problem paying the bill, they don’t want you, and yet you’re making it easier on them.

Yh I agree..

But it seems men don't have much problems marrying women they don't fully want, judging by the scenarios i've been seeing lately.
 
What if the girl does the asking?
:damsel:

Many on here might not agree with me, but tip no1 when it comes to dating is that as a young woman, you have no business asking men on dates. Focus on the ones that like you enough to ask you and are serious enough to try and impress you.

These tips will save you a lot of heartache in the long run..
 

VixR

Veritas
Yh I agree..

But it seems men don't have much problems marrying women they don't fully want, judging by the scenarios i've been seeing lately.
Believe it or not, there are men out there living off women like this, but ultimately those relationships don’t survive. The women will come to hate him and wander, and the men will see someone they actually want and wander.

Generally speaking men need to feel needed more than wanted, and it’s the opposite for women (needing to feel more wanted than needed), so he actually also needs to help with the household chores, for her benefit and ultimately for his.

I’ve noticed women who’re doing everything in the house will ultimately come to resent the man if he doesn’t pick up the burden with her, and she isn’t showered with appreciation/love for her part. At the same time, men are motivated by what they see, so upkeep is important. Honestly, this is true on both sides.

I’ve also noticed if you tell a guy your ambitions, the first thing out of their mouths is, “Oh, so you don’t need me”. If a guy doesn’t want to feel needed by you, he either doesn’t want you period, or you’re about to get screwed quickly or over time. These are tricky waters if you’re a girl who wants to make bank, bc men will be intimidated, unless you find one who also has big dreams and doesn’t want to use his monetary worth to control you.
 
I’m not sure that I’ll attract the type of men that I like. Some men are really shy. I’m on the gutsier side and don’t mind asking out a guy. I think that I should always shoot my shot. If I miss, so be it.


That is cool. You're still young and you have a lot of figuring out to do. Even if you do shoot your shot, please remember to fall back and then allow him to take the lead after. You need to be able to observe his level of seriousness and that is the power of being the passive party as you can watch what he does and if he doesn't live up to your standards of how you want to be treated, then you can drop him.

Men and women are not the same. We women tend to be a lot more selective with who we speak/date, where as men will use every opportunity to entertain themselves, even if it means stringing along a girl they don't particularly like, whilst still being on the look out for the one they really want. When you actively pursue, you can unwittingly fall into their trap.

When you allow a guy to take the lead from the very beginning, it makes it easier to discern which guy is serious about you and which one isn't. The last thing you want is for you to actively pursue a guy and then catch feelings before realising that this man has only been with you out of convenience, rather then him really wanting you.

Just whatever you do, please don't be the 'good time/just for now girl' he uses and then drops when the girl of his dreams walks into his life.
 

VixR

Veritas
Is it really that bad?
:kendrickcry:
I used to think it was ok to split, never on the first few but after the initial stage, and I don’t even think that anymore, thanks to my sister. I started observing the relationships around me after my older sis said something to me lol.

Even talking to the older female coworkers was insightful. One of them, as soon as she started to venture into something that made her a lot of money, her husband whom she had a good relationship with prior, couldn’t handle it. Why, bc he didn’t feel needed. Wallahi, it’s eye-opening stuff.
 
I used to think it was ok to split, never on the first few but after the initial stage, and I don’t even think that anymore, thanks to my sister. I started observing the relationships around me after my older sis said something to me lol. Wallahi it’s so true.

Even talking to the older female coworkers was insightful. One of them, as soon as she started to venture into something that made her a lot of money, her husband whom she had a good relationship with prior, couldn’t handle it.


I think there is beauty and power in women embracing their femininity and allowing men to be men as when you allow them to lead, pay for dates and force them to use their initiative when it comes to trying to impress you, you suffer less in the long run. You get to cut out the riff raff a lot faster, as the ones that don't give a shit either don't try at all or they burn out because they can't keep pretences that long.


Its something i've observed seeing other women around me. Nothing wrong with being 'ballsy' or a 'go getter' (its definitely a quality needed in this world)but just use that in the right time and place and not with men you want to have a long term relationship with.
 
The kind of lifestyle where they pay for the date they asked you for? Why do you call it a lifestyle?

Not everyone can to pay for dates by themselves. It’s a kind of life that only some can live. That’s why I call it a lifestyle. Smh, I thought I already clarified this abaayo. I’ll be doing the asking and can’t afford to pay for dates all by myself.
 

SOULSEARCHING

Hakuna matata
VIP
I use to work in a grocery store, and I have seen it all.


A lot of men are es.
Even when their girlfriend says they forget their wallet they'd give them the death stare and say "you owe me $5..."
 
Not everyone can to pay for dates by themselves. It’s a kind of life that only some can live. That’s why I call it a lifestyle. Smh, I thought I already clarified this abaayo. I’ll be doing the asking and can’t afford to pay for dates all by myself.

Adeero what you need to be doing is studying and saving up your money to buy me an electric scooter
 

VixR

Veritas
Not everyone can to pay for dates by themselves. It’s a kind of life that only some can live. That’s why I call it a lifestyle. Smh, I thought I already clarified this abaayo. I’ll be doing the asking and can’t afford to pay for dates all by myself.
Then they aren’t ready for a relationship, which just reinforces that he’s not serious, bc he shouldn’t be dating you until he’s in a position to. He should be working up to it.

You know, a lot of times, men don’t even have loyalty for the “you were there for me when I had nothing” scenario. You just remind them of their brokenness.
 
I don’t even have the money to buy myself new earbuds adeero. I have been putting my phone next to my ear for months. Do I seem like a person who can purchase an electric scooter?
:stressed:


Loooool i forget how really young you are. Listen to adeero, focus on getting an education and not on men.
 

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