Somali woman’s kids taken by white ex husband!

[Mea]

But I’m NOT saying they’re hunky dory. I’m saying they’re just as messy, as are MOST relationships, those within a culture included. Failed relationships are the mean.

Well I disagree. I think most relationships within cultures are not messy or dysfunctional. But the rate of dysfunction is higher in interracial relationships.

 

[government]

That’s not the same. Jewish and Catholic schools, at least in the US, subscribe to the state curriculum and add religious classes supplementally. Meanwhile, Islamic schools (at least here) are not giving an education to the kids. If she would’ve homeschooled them and sent them to the Islamic school, that would’ve been legitimate.

Islamic private schools have to abide by the states curriculum what are you talking about or else they wouldn't be able to be called private schools

 

[Gooney112]

Well I disagree. I think most relationships within cultures are not messy or dysfunctional. But the rate of dysfunction is higher in interracial relationships.

in uk they definitely have higher breakups. every mix kid race i grew up with the parents were not together

 

[VixR]

I agree. I lean to the left on many issues. But part of the left is the hippy way of thinking which is to pretend race and culture dont matter and always defend we are all the same position. Its intellectual dishonesty. All i said was interracial and intercultural relationship face more hardship than relationship same background people do. As Mea says all you have to do is listen to interracial couples talk about it. When your relationship face more negativity its gonna have an impact.

VixR

You seem to be extreme on the other side tbh. You have to acknowledge in the world we live in race and culture matters....to say other couple divorce as well is a cop-out. if you dont think the environment you live in dont have any affect on your relationship. then we just dont live in the same world

You’re always trying to put words in my mouth.

Its clear we don’t live in the same world anecdotally speaking as far as outcomes are concerned though, bc I’m not seeing better numbers be it inter-Somali or interracial.

Most relationships fail period, there’s no incentive to work hard anymore.

 

[Gooney112]

You’re always trying to put words in my mouth.

Its clear we don’t live in the same world anecdotally speaking as far as outcomes are concerned though, bc I’m not seeing better numbers be it inter-Somali or interracial.

Most relationships fail period, there’s no incentive to work hard anymore.

I wouldnt say I put words in your mouth, but to get clearer picture of your view. Yes most relationship fails and you are right about hard work. But the point we are talking about here is do you think interracial and intercultural couples faces more hardship from society/family which would put strain on relationship. I think it does....do you?

 

[VixR]

I wouldnt say I put words in your mouth, but to get clearer picture of your view. Yes most relationship fails and you are right about hard work. But the point we are talking about here is do you think interracial and intercultural couples faces more hardship from society/family which would put strain on relationship. I think it does....do you?

Here’s what I think:

You’re legit just as likely to break up with a Somali for irreconcilables as a non-Somali, I couldn’t be arsed what it was that put you under. It could be a whole host of a million different things that can’t be parsed here.

Ask yourself how many relationships you’ve been in, and what went wrong (esp if you date both). That might help put this in perspective for you.

 

[Gooney112]

Here’s what I think:

You’re legit just as likely to break up with a Somali for irreconcilables as a non-Somali, I couldn’t be arsed what it was that put you under. It could be a whole host of a million different things that can’t be parsed here.

Ask yourself how many relationships you’ve been in, and what went wrong (esp if you date both). That might help put this in perspective for you.

ok you are right a broken relationship is a broken and the reason isnt that important. It becomes different when kids are involved. This was what I was talking about the whole time......raising kids and having different cultures or ways of life is a big issue. For me it would give me much more comfort if I have kids with someone who share same values/culture as me and if we break up (which we probably will lol)I know the kids are raised in a way I am comfortable with. In this ladys case, she is speaking as a somali mother and from somali perspective and how courts dont understand our ways and culture. If she was concerned about somali culture and somali ways and is blaming that as a reason for losing her kids. Why did she marry someone so far from that culture?

 

[VixR]

ok you are right a broken relationship is a broken and the reason isnt that important. It becomes different when kids are involved. This was what I was talking about the whole time......raising kids and having different cultures or ways of life is a big issue. For me it would give me much more comfort if I have kids with someone who share same values/culture as me and if we break up (which we probably will lol)I know the kids are raised in a way I am comfortable with. In this ladys case, she is speaking as a somali mother and from somali perspective and how courts dont understand our ways and culture. If she was concerned about somali culture and somali ways and is blaming that as a reason for losing her kids. Why did she marry someone so far from that culture?

That’s a prerogative you’re free to, but let’s not conflate the two things.

And what Somali perspective is she’s speaking from? This is about a mother losing her child to their father’s custody. Frankly, it’s an anomaly that he would challenge her in the first place, most men nowadays do not.

Literally a generation ago, it could well have been a Somali man that was doing this to her, bc Somali men had full control of children in Somalia and it wasn’t uncommon for them to just up and take the kid to his village (I know this for a fact bc I have a story like this in my family). This is about custody! What culture they’re raised does not compute to losing contact of your child.

 

[Gooney112]

That’s a prerogative you’re free to, but let’s not conflate the two things.

And what Somali perspective is she’s speaking from? This is about a mother losing her child to their father’s custody. Frankly, it’s an anomaly that he would challenge her in the first place, most men nowadays do not.

Literally a generation ago, it could well have been a Somali man that was doing this to her, bc Somali men had full control of children in Somalia and it wasn’t uncommon for them to just up and take the kid to his village (I know this for a fact bc I have a story like this in my family). This is about custody! What culture they’re raised does not compute to losing contact of your child.

Custody is decided by humans...not computers though. Meaning the people deciding her custody case can have a biased against her culture/race. That is what she is saying specially happened here. How can you be so sure this didnt happen?

She is a black woman.....and she found out the hard way after all that bleaching and whitewashing that they still treated her as a black woman and it hurt her. That last bit was all me and my Dr Phil assumptions. Dont take it too serious lool

 

[VixR]

Custody is decided by humans...not computers though. Meaning the people deciding her custody case can have a biased against her culture/race. That is what she is saying specially happened here. How can you be so sure this didnt happen?

She is a black woman.....and she found out the hard way after all that bleaching and whitewashing that they still treated her as a black woman and it hurt her. That last bit was all me and my Dr Phil assumptions. Dont take it too serious lool

Lmfao.

You’re beyond reasoning with.

 

[Gooney112]

Lmfao.

You’re beyond reasoning with.

You dont like my dr phil impression he is a know it all prick. I love when he reads people he just met and tell them this is what you are, what you think and feel. He says it with such confidence people just go with it

 

[VixR]

You dont like my dr phil impression he is a know it all prick. I love when he reads people he just met and tell them this is what you are, what you think and feel. He says it with such confidence people just go with it

I’ve never actually watched him before lol. I hate those types of shows with ppl airing out their issues. Get a real therapist.

 

[Gooney112]

I’ve never actually watched him before lol. I hate those types of shows with ppl airing out their issues. Get a real therapist.

The poor cant afford therapist. Also they have less shame lool. I honestly feel therapist charge way too much and its something government should provide to people. So many people need therapist. Also bit of advise....never date a therapist. Most of them are nuts

 

[VixR]

The poor cant afford therapist. Also they have less shame lool. I honestly feel therapist charge way too much and its something government should provide to people. So many people need therapist. Also bit of advise....never date a therapist. Most of them are nuts

That sounds like a good story..

Yeah, we’re not Europe. There’s no universal, much less mental-health focused therapy for the poor.

 

[GoldmanSachs]

How so?

I didn't have the time to answer earlier, but it seems to me that you are of the view interracial relationships fail at the same rate as intra-racial relationships within Somalis. I don't have data on hand to prove this, but on the face of it we know this is patently absurd.

Sure Somalis have a divorce problem, but generally speaking when two young Somalis are having issues in their marriage the families will intervene and fix things. In other words, both families have a stake in seeing the marriage remain intact and will do whatever they can to achieve that end. Whereas when Somalis marry out, and that's both faraaxs and xalimos, their families are at best neutral and have no interest at all in seeing their marriage flourish. They have no support or guidance from their community, and you might think that is a completely useless thing but it's what can either make or break a marriage. This is very generally speaking, of course. I'm sure there are exceptions here and there.

That's why I said you're at the other extreme end of the spectrum.

 

[VixR]

I didn't have the time to answer earlier, but it seems to me that you are of the view interracial relationships fail at the same rate as intra-racial relationships within Somalis. I don't have data on hand to prove this, but on the face of it we know this is patently absurd.

Sure Somalis have a divorce problem, but generally speaking when two young Somalis are having issues in their marriage the families will intervene and fix things. In other words, both families have a stake in seeing the marriage remain intact and will do whatever they can to achieve that end. Whereas when Somalis marry out, and that's both faraaxs and xalimos, their families are at best neutral and have no interest at all in seeing their marriage flourish. They have no support or guidance from their community, and you might think that is a completely useless thing but it's what can either make or break a marriage. This is very generally speaking, of course. I'm sure there are exceptions here and there.

That's why I said you're at the other extreme end of the spectrum.

That’s just not true from what I’ve seen. Maybe this was the case in our folks’ generation, but Somali parents from what I’ve seen tend to cause issues and increase tensions as often as not, unless you’re practically related, and at least when they’re not Somali, they have better boundaries. I don’t see how obsevering no difference in thrive rate of intra vs inter could be considered an extreme view. If anything, it is a neutral one.

 

[Gooney112]

That’s just not true from what I’ve seen. Maybe this was the case in our folks’ generation, but Somali parents from what I’ve seen tend to cause issues and increase tensions as often as not, unless you’re practically related, and at least when they’re not Somali, they have better boundaries. I don’t see how obsevering no difference in thrive rate of intra vs inter could be considered an extreme view. If anything, it is a neutral one.

oh hell nahvix got nothing but love here.....but you are so wrong on this. When you have spare time just Youtube interracial couple problems. They will tell you from their own mouth the things you say are not there.

 

[VixR]

oh hell nahvix got nothing but love here.....but you are so wrong on this. When you have spare time just Youtube interracial couple problems. They will tell you from their own mouth the things you say are not there.

How am I so hard to understand? I think I’m speaking English but you keep circling

 

[Gooney112]

How am I so hard to understand? I think I’m speaking English but you keep circling

If thats the case...it seems im not the only one who dont understand you. Its you who deflect and bring these progressive talking point by bringing in different issues to nagate the points. Anyway we probably wont see this eye to eye....so respect

 

[RedStar]

What got you thinking this way ?

I'm basking in blessings breh there's more to life than suugo stained baatis