Somali spot women learn from this lady😀 you relationship will last for life time

[Angelina]

@Angelina People take each other for granted when it comes to those of the same background. I've seen Desi, Arab and black women have the same complaints about this issue in their communities.

Yep, i've seen women of those backgrounds talk about the exact same thing on social media, so i'm fully aware that this isn't limited to Somalis. I think many men definitely view white women as some sort of prize therefore, getting with them means they need to tow the line along with the fact that cadaans tend to on average (not all the time), be a bit more helpful at home, along with being a lot more affectionate.

Also, an added benefit of interracial marriages people don't mention is that people are free to create their own ways of doing things rather than holding each other to cultural standards.

 

[Angelina]

What do you mean by repressed sexuality within martiage? Is that a big issue? How do Somalis manage to produce 10 plus kids if they are sexually repressed or maybe that's the issue?

I always thought it was a mad urban myth. But apparently women were not allowed to enjoy that part of marriage. Its where FGM comes to play. So sex it seems in traditional Somali culture was seen as something men enjoy, women provide.

Also, its very common for traditional couples not show affection to each other both physical and verbal.

 

[Abdisamad]

What benefit is there for a Somali woman to marry a Somali man?

You can make beautiful Somali kids together and cook canjeero everyday

 

[Abdisamad]

I always thought it was a mad urban myth. But apparently women were not allowed to enjoy that part of marriage. Its where FGM comes to play. So sex it seems in traditional Somali culture was seen as something men enjoy, women provide.

Also, its very common for traditional couples not show affection to each other both physical and verbal.

That sounds horrible

 

[Angelina]

Maybe you grew up in a broken home but my ayeeyo and awoowe are still together after 60 years of marriage. That is true love, even when he married a 2nd wife she stood by him and refused to let him go. That is true love and something Ive grown up with perhaps you ladies grew up in terrible single mother homes that fed you this Faarax aint shit charade. Alx my sister got married to a nice Somali gentleman.

Being together, yet unhappy isn't a marker of a happy marriage. You should know all about that.

We are talking about the rights of women within marriage and the jahil attitudes that prevail in Somali culture with regards to marriage. That obviously does not mean that there aren't any happy couples.

Also, its very telling that when you speak about true love its basically what your Gran did and sacrificed for your grandfather. Can you tell us what he did for her, since that is what the topic is about? Can you for one second think about the happiness of women?

 

[Desert Flower]

Maybe you grew up in a broken home but my ayeeyo and awoowe are still together after 60 years of marriage. That is true love, even when he married a 2nd wife she stood by him and refused to let him go. That is true love and something Ive grown up with perhaps you ladies grew up in terrible single mother homes that fed you this Faarax aint shit charade. Alx my sister got married to a nice Somali gentleman.

The fact that you have to resort to personal attacks let’s me know that a) what I said was true which burned you and b) you have nothing valuable to add to this conversation.

You didn’t even answer my question. (Because you obviously cannot bring up what value there is to marrying a Somali man).

You actually proved my point because all you said was your ayeeyo and awoowe were married for years but were they happy? Many marriages of our grandparents time lasted simply because the woman had no other choice but to stay.

 

[Mercury]

I haven't watched the whole thing but I think her advice is bad her advice is centered towards pleasing the husband make yourself ready in bed 24/7,house clean,cook, smell good, take care of the kids etc

In my opinion we have good parts in our dhaqan and we have bad parts the bad one is that in a somali marriage the women is expected to do 99% of household chores,child labour on their own this is gonna make the relationship suffer in the long run the man won't have same feelings for his wife and will look for another wife to make him happy

In my opinion marriage should be a partnership where you both strive towards the same goal a happy marriage and a loving family and to do that you need to show each other respect kindness,compromise and help each other take care of the chores and kids the more you help each other the more time you get to spend quality time together

 

[TekNiKo]

Being together, yet unhappy isn't a marker of a happy marriage. You should know all about that.

We are talking about the rights of women within marriage and the jahil attitudes that prevail in Somali culture with regards to marriage. That obviously does not mean that there aren't any happy couples.

Also, its very telling that when you speak about true love its basically what your Gran did and sacrificed for your grandfather. Can you tell us what he did for her, since that is what the topic is about? Can you for one second think about the happiness of women?

He gave her 10 kids and a beautiful family with lots of love he also built two mansions for her in Somalia. He also wrote a book about his love for her my awoowe is a poet. That is true love.

 

[Chase]

I always thought it was a mad urban myth. But apparently women were not allowed to enjoy that part of marriage. Its where FGM comes to play. So sex it seems in traditional Somali culture was seen as something men enjoy, women provide.

Also, its very common for traditional couples not show affection to each other both physical and verbal.

Depends on the region tbh, I know Waqooyi Somalis aren't very affectionate, but some southern regions are known for their jaceel, almost to the point it's cringe inducing.

I think Somalis can love and be romantic - just look at our music - but it's a fire that starts out strong and fierce, then dimmed to a glow, until finally nothing remains but the remnants of embers turned to ash.

 

[Angelina]

Depends on the region tbh, I know Waqooyi Somalis aren't very affectionate, but some southern regions are known for their jaceel, almost to the point it's cringe inducing.

I think Somalis can love and be romantic - just look at our music - but it's a fire that starts out strong and fierce, then dimmed to a glow, until finally nothing remains but the remnants of embers turned to ash.

I'm guessing you're from the North right? I constantly here that narrative from Waqooyis. I'm from the South and I would say Konfur couples are no different apart from being a lot more polite to each other. Yet, lack of affection is common, husband and wives hardly being around each other is common and men marrying a woman twenty years his junior is common, more so than the Northerners I would say. Most of this jeceyl is mostly in music and poems oh and during the shukansi stage.

The only group I would say have affection on average more so than us ethnic Somalis are the reer Xamars. They are known to stay together well into old age and enjoy each others company, which is ironic as their marriages are mostly arranged.

 

[Mercury]

No one is forcing you guys to marry a Faarax you know that right? If you detest us so much just marry out! No need to vent.

They don't detest faaraxs just some somali guys don't know how to treat women like a human being they marry her and see her as their property

 

[Ismail99]

They don't detest faaraxs just some somali guys don't know how to treat women like a human being they marry her and see her as their property

are you really male?

 

[Mercury]

are you really male?

if you look up ninka raga ah you gonna find me there

 

[Chase]

I'm guessing you're from the North right? I constantly here that narrative from Waqooyis. I'm from the South and I would say Konfur couples are no different apart from being a lot more polite to each other. Yet, lack of affection is common, husband and wives hardly being around each other is common and men marrying a woman twenty years his junior is common, more so than the Northerners I would say. Most of this jeceyl is mostly in music and poems oh and during the shukansi stage.

The only group I would say have affection on average more so than us ethnic Somalis are the reer Xamars. They are known to stay together well into old age and enjoy each others company, which is ironic as their marriages are mostly arranged.

It depends with the North, Mudug/Bari women are notoriously known for being hot blooded, Sool towards Waqooyi is where things get a bit grim.

I think showing affection in public is what Somalis have a problem with, most think it's ceeb and unbecoming of our culture and religion.

 

[Juliet]

@Angelina lmao, do you really think men these days want second, third or even fourth wives just so they could emulate the prophet SAW? we all know they just want extra siil on the side without it being seen as adultery. Following the sunnah is the last thing on their minds

 

[Wervelwind]

No one is forcing you guys to marry a Faarax you know that right? If you detest us so much just marry out! No need to vent.

I don't really get it either. A lot of complaining but then they'll still end up marrying a farax who have her clean and cook

 

[Amal Hassan]

Maybe you grew up in a broken home but my ayeeyo and awoowe are still together after 60 years of marriage. That is true love, even when he married a 2nd wife she stood by him and refused to let him go. That is true love and something Ive grown up with perhaps you ladies grew up in terrible single mother homes that fed you this Faarax aint shit charade. Alx my sister got married to a nice Somali gentleman.

If he had a second wife she hates his guts LMAOOO. Defo doesn’t seem healthy and I’d rather be alone

 

[Lostbox]

Lmao! You never really know what desperation really looks like until you listen to older xalimos. How low their self esteem must be for them to accept and normalize this level of abuse. And faraxs aren’t even good partners or lovers so what they get outta this is beyond my comprehension. Miskeens

I always thought that the thirsty men were the worst. Like knowing decent guys or even good looking that are doing well for themselves, knowing their plenty of good women after them for something serious but then seeing these guys go after unattractive obses Women because she has a hole and willing to put out has left disgusted me multiple times.

On the hand, there are ridiculous amount of women with no self-esteem. They have high standards when their searching for their man but once in a relationship? Their standards become just like the thirsty. So many good women happy getting the bare minimum is a joke

Instead of if she had a hole we are good. It if he stays with me we are good.

 

[Lostbox]

Yep, i've seen women of those backgrounds talk about the exact same thing on social media, so i'm fully aware that this isn't limited to Somalis. I think many men definitely view white women as some sort of prize therefore, getting with them means they need to tow the line along with the fact that cadaans tend to on average (not all the time), be a bit more helpful at home, along with being a lot more affectionate.

Also, an added benefit of interracial marriages people don't mention is that people are free to create their own ways of doing things rather than holding each other to cultural standards.

That a messed up view to have

 

[World]

May god all grant us raaliyo wives, ameen. I don’t think anything is worse than being trapped in a marriage with these feminist women.