Parentified Children in Large Somali families

[Idil-Beydaan]

So have any of you watched the Duggars or ever been back home? You must’ve noticed this trend in large Families also Somali ones where you have the oldest kids take care of the younger ones. The children are Parentified sometimes by narcisstic parent who have emotional void in their life. They even share their finance and relationship issue to the oldest children and make him in charge of the younger ones(especially girls). I’ve noticed that this happens actually in Somali families in the west (uk specifically where no one bats an eye to 9 kids Somali family). The thing is this Parentfication leads to many mental health problems in the future.
So I want to ask sspot
Anyone has a large family (loads probably lol)?
What are the cons?
Have you ever been Parentified as a child?
Opinions?
https://www.mentalhelp.net/blogs/family-boundaries-and-the-parentified-child/

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/...eir-siblings-it-affects-them-for-life/543975/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/harming-your-child-by-making-him-your-parent/

 

[Midas Touch]

I changed some smelly diapers 4 times in my life i don't know if you would call that parentified
made me think how it would be to have a family imagine changing diapers for years on end, the baby
calacaaling habeeyn yo maliin

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

Imagine those Xalimos that have to change the diapers of the three youngest born right after the other
T-T
I though someone would relate to mystruggle
Anyways lol
Having kids is hard yes imagine all the diaper changinh

 

[Midas Touch]

Imagine those Xalimos that have to change the diapers of the three youngest born right after the other
T-T
I though someone would relate to mystruggle
Anyways lol
Having kids is hard yes imagine all the diaper changinh

i don't think having one child after the other straight away is a good idea, cos at the end of the day parents need to work too, how you going work full time if you are taking care of so many children for years on end one after the other

 

[Midas Touch]

anyway's yeah back to the topic i've seeing that many times, not only in the motherland but also here in the west, the mother goes about where ever she is going to go and leaves the kids to the oldest, i swear i've even seeing somali parents go on a month vacation and let the oldest who is not a day over 18 take care of the youngsters, i'm not sure if it has any mental health implications though

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

i don't think having one child after the other straight away is a good idea, cos at the end of the day parents need to work too, how you going work full time if you are taking care of so many children for years on end one after the other

Preach on that one
We already have enough problems with single parents,somali men in prison and some ppl marrying out and I think this the root which
we haven’t adressed is having kids after one another
Kids are a blessing illahey haa noo barakeeyo
BUT
How do you benefit from popping out kids after one another of you don’t want to commit equal attention to all

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

anyway's yeah back to the topic i've seeing that many times, not only in the motherland but also here in the west, the mother goes about where ever she is going to go and leaves the kids to the oldest, i swear i've even seeing somali parents go on a month vacation and let the oldest who is not a day over 18 take care of the youngsters, i'm not sure if it has any mental health implications though

The parents in our community get lots of headaches as well. But I read super scary stuff in Reddit about cadaan parent that hunt down their kids even after they are estranged from them because of their NPD. And some of this white kids grew up in large families and the parents were pretty neglectful ot they had a favorite

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

Those reddit post reminded me of my own household and other somali ones which I’ve been to where it’s like’ Xalimooooy hibil xaarka ka dhaq
Xalimoooy ilmaha kala cili
Xalimoooy san iyo saas blablabal’
I’m sure Farax also suffer with some large families as their given the duty of shopping from what I have seen and that means lota of shopping like 6 pint bottle of milk every two days because of how large the family is
We tend to greatly sympathise the sufferings of our parents
But one thing I find a bit selfish is they don’t do family planning and just pop out kids

 

[BirtaanJabin]

Imagine those Xalimos that have to change the diapers of the three youngest born right after the other
T-T
I though someone would relate to mystruggle
Anyways lol
Having kids is hard yes imagine all the diaper changinh

I change My Illegitimate Sons diaper once a month when i come small heath

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

I change My Illegitimate Sons diaper once a month when i come small heath

Lol Beenlow waaxid
Inteeni Gabadha ilmaha kuu dhashay joogta
Xafad soomali ka buuxdo ma ilma xaaran somali joogan
:siilaanyolaugh:

 

[BirtaanJabin]

Lol Beenlow waaxid
Inteeni Gabadha ilmaha kuu dhashay joogta
Xafad soomalo ka buuxdo ma ilma xaaran somali joogan
:siilaanyolaugh:

Astaghfurullah Legitimate ayaan oran rabay Farti ayaa iga fakatay

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

Ma dhici karto
Hadad runn na sheegoosid
Hayye Mr Reer Magaal!
It’s story time

 

[BirtaanJabin]

Ma dhici karto
Hadad runn na sheegoosid
Hayye Mr Reer Magaal!
It’s story time

View attachment 38496

Wax iga Xalaalsan hada heshid Nasab ma ihi.
Waar i even lead the salad at my Local Mosque (After every salad im told to lead the remainder xaasid news is everyone's punctual)

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

War Labo waji aa qabtaa
Sheekada soo tuff sxb

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

Wax iga Xalaalsan hada heshid Nasab ma ihi.
Waar i even lead the salad at my Local Mosque (After every salad im told to lead the remainder xaasid news is everyone's punctual)

Hayyyyye!
Wax ka xalaxsan ma heli kari
Lakin was iska kasé/taqaana insaanku uu gaffi karaa
Waxaa na aamin san ahay inaay ilma xaaran ku joogan
I’m super curious
How did a Wadaad like u get in that kind of situation
Sheekadadi aa la sugooya

 

[Midas Touch]

The parents in our community get lots of headaches as well. But I read super scary stuff in Reddit about cadaan parent that hunt down their kids even after they are estranged from them because of their NPD. And some of this white kids grew up in large families and the parents were pretty neglectful ot they had a favorite

Talking about NPD have you ever heard a Somali parent saying sorry to their child for what ever reason it's unheard of, it's either jinni madoow baa kulaa tagteey amaa inkaar alee khudaactey
i seeing this somali lady get so vexed at her daughter in the middle of the city center she called her a o foosha xuun, i'm standing there not believing what i'm hearing like

 

[BirtaanJabin]

@Idil-Beydaan Baaye Stop forcing that Xaraan life on me Waan yara kaftamayey
Do u have something to tell me walal

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

Talking about NPD have you ever heard a Somali parent saying sorry to their child for what ever reason it's unheard of, it's either jinni madoow baa kulaa tagteey amaa inkaar alee khudaactey
i seeing this somali lady get so vexed at her daughter in the middle of the city center she called her a o foosha xuun, i'm standing there not believing what i'm hearing like

I don’t understand pls explain
Ah yes Somali parents never apologise even when they’re kids grow up and mature

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

@Idil-Beydaan Baaye Stop forcing that Xaraan life on me Waan yara kaftamayey
Do u have something to tell me walal

Sorry I thought my Xaaram-meter picked something up it’s broken I think.
Iga raali ahaw
Illahay haa kuu dambi dhaafo saladda masajidka ka dhujjsaa waddad rag eh aa tahay aboowe

 

[Idil-Beydaan]

Acuthubillah
Who calls their kid