Ohio incident highlights a failure in the Somali community!

[Alluring]

Which do you see as better, traditional or "modern" and why?

I feel like it depends on their family dynamic. If the children are school-aged and both parents want to work, then they can split tasks evenly. For example, one cleans and the other cooks, both pay different bills and both parent.

For some families, the traditional dynamic is better especially if the kids are young and at breastfeed age. So the man will work and do all the physical laboring tasks. While, the woman does her home tasks. But they both parent.

It varies from family to family but the one thing that should stay consistent is that both parents actually parent their kids.

 

[Alluring]

Also what do you mean by "take care of her home and family" in what way?

I mean doing the housework and making it presentable. By taking care of the family, she is watching out for their emotional and mental healths (something our community needs to work on), doing things that are in the best interest of their family, etc.

 

[Revolutionary]

Good answer, im curious about the rest

 

[Sloane Ranger]

Good answer, im curious about the rest

I agree with everything she said. What's your opinion on this issue?

 

[reer]

I know married women that work fulltime on top of it. These women are working themselves to the bone with an ungrateful, selfish husband in return. But they don't care because theirs no consequences for them.

He can easily get remarried. Guys with the shittiest reputations never struggle to get remarried because women always think they will be able to tame them.

too many somalis - especially back home - dont think hard enough about marrying someone if they are compatible etc marka they make bad marriage choices

 

[Basra]

I feel like it depends on their family dynamic. If the children are school-aged and both parents want to work, then they can split tasks evenly. For example, one cleans and the other cooks, both pay different bills and both parent.

For some families, the traditional dynamic is better especially if the kids are young and at breastfeed age. So the man will work and do all the physical laboring tasks. While, the woman does her home tasks. But they both parent.

It varies from family to family but the one thing that should stay consistent is that both parents actually parent their kids.

 

[Revolutionary]

I agree with everything she said. What's your opinion on this issue?

I don't disagree what she said, just curious to see what you guys thought a man and a woman should do in a relationship

 

[Basra]

I miss the Biblical days when a woman was so fragile, it was dangerous to leave her home without protection. Maybe we should go back to square one during savage days. Roles were clearly defined and welcomed.

 

[Inquisitive_]

It wasn't until I moved to Somalia I realised the problem lies with the Xaalimo's themselves and I can see how it sweeped to the west.

I always cooked and cleaned but since I got her it's so highly discouraged in a disgusting way by both the young and elder Xaalimo's, I was told the wife is even worse then them.

The males do all the shopping her from what I observed so far, but anything related to cooking, cleaning and taking out garbage they fight you tooth and nail for it.

It's like with FGM, on the surface it appears this disgusting tradition is pushed by the males, but the reality is that it's pushed and kept alive by the mother's, father's have nothing to do with it and for the most part oppose it.

People act how they have been nurtured and raised and the type of society that come from, we are nomads and pastoralists, that lifestyle ensures your away from the wife a lot and as a result she has a lot of freedom and with that freedom comes added responsibilities.

However the farming or Bedouin communities (majority of the world) are the opposite, their wife's are always with them, hence they have far less freedom but that lack of freedom comes with a lot more help with little to no responsibility she has to take, but that also comes with more control and little to no liberty for her

Benefits and drawbacks to each.

 

[Finesse]

After reading this thread im curious to what you guys think the wife's role is in a family and what do you think the husband's is, i'd be nice if you guys list them all @Finesse @Halimo Supremist @Alluring @Desert Flower

If the man can fully provide for his family by himself
the woman should manage the home, as in, she can cook, clean or hire workers that she oversees (if she can afford it like in Africa, Asia etc)
The husband, obviously pays all the bills, gives the wife a generous allowance and then when he returns home, bathes, relaxes for a few hours, should parent the children, help bathe them, do homework etc.


If both couples have to work due to financial situations
share everything 50/50 including, cooking, cleaning etc.


Ultimately, it should be about balance, caring for each other and protecting each other and the family using The Qur'aan and Sunnah as the guide.

 

[Finesse]

It wasn't until I moved to Somalia I realised the problem lies with the Xaalimo's themselves and I can see how it sweeped to the west.

I always cooked and cleaned but since I got her it's so highly discouraged in a disgusting way by both the young and elder Xaalimo's, I was told the wife is even worse then them.

The males do all the shopping her from what I observed so far, but anything related to cooking, cleaning and taking out garbage they fight you tooth and nail for it.

It's like with FGM, on the surface it appears this disgusting tradition is pushed by the males, but the reality is that it's pushed and kept alive by the mother's, father's have nothing to do with it and for the most part oppose it.

People act how they have been nurtured and raised and the type of society that come from, we are nomads and pastoralists, that lifestyle ensures your away from the wife a lot and as a result she has a lot of freedom and with that freedom comes added responsibilities.

However the farming or Bedouin communities (majority of the world) are the opposite, their wife's are always with them, hence they have far less freedom but that lack of freedom comes with a lot more help with little to no responsibility she has to take, but that also comes with more control and little to no liberty for her

Benefits and drawbacks to each.

Oh yes, I have certainly heard of and seen women who dislike men who cook/clean but those are usually old-school, the newer generation tend to want a more balanced approach to a partnership.

As for FGM, that's an ancient practise that came out of a misogynist culture that wanted to ensure "purity" in women. Of course then women took over maintaining this "purity" but the root is not from women.

 

[Basra]

but you guys are missing the one MAJOR component of WHO a Xaliimo is?? Her nature, her disposition. Her wirings, and internal constitution.


A Xaliimo woman is not the same as a middle eastern woman. Middle eastern women have high estrogen hormones in them that make them extremely submissive.


Xaliimo are the opposite.

 

[Finesse]

I mean doing the housework and making it presentable. By taking care of the family, she is watching out for their emotional and mental healths (something our community needs to work on), doing things that are in the best interest of their family, etc.

Thank you sis, this is so true, a lot of parents, not just Somalis, don't know how to look after their children's emotional and mental well-being. They only know how to feed them and at best, educate them.

 

[Finesse]

but you guys are missing the one MAJOR component of WHO a Xaliimo is?? Her nature, her disposition. Her wirings, and internal constitution.


A Xaliimo woman is not the same as a middle eastern woman. Middle eastern woman have high estrogen hormones in them that make them extremely submissive.


Xaliimo are the opposite.

Every society creates the behaviour of the gender, when a society places much burder on its women, the women will start emulating masculine traits.

 

[Basra]

Every society creates the behaviour of the gender, when a society places much burder on its women, the women will start emulating masculine traits.

The society created themselves? Are u atheist?

 

[Alluring]

but you guys are missing the one MAJOR component of WHO a Xaliimo is?? Her nature, her disposition. Her wirings, and internal constitution.


A Xaliimo woman is not the same as a middle eastern woman. Middle eastern woman have high estrogen hormones in them that make them extremely submissive.


Xaliimo are the opposite.

This isn't the case, when women take on the roles of men, that is when they start becoming more masculine. When she cooks, cleans, pays the bills and does the physical labour, how can you question why she is emulating men? Its because the men aren't doing their jobs. That is the case in every community that has single mothers/unfair distribution of chores.

Also, I find it hypocritical how women will be called "masculine" for doing everything yet men who do nothing are never considered "feminine."

 

[Basra]

This isn't the case, when women take on the roles of men, that is when they start becoming more masculine. When she cooks, cleans, pays the bills and does the physical labour, how can you question why she is emulating men? Its because the men aren't doing their jobs. That is the case in every community that has single mothers/unfair distribution of chores.

Also, I find it hypocritical how women will be called "masculine" for doing everything yet men who do nothing are never considered "feminine."

How about the role of a Lion and a Lionesss. Will u say the Lion is lazy?

 

[Alluring]

How about the role of a Lion and a Lionesss. Will u say the Lion is lazy?

Yes the lion is a lazy POS while his lioness does everything. The dynamic of lions are similar to Africans, I wonder

 

[Basra]

Yes the lion is a lazy POS while his lioness does everything. The dynamic of lions are similar to Africans, I wonder

How adorable u r


looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

 

[Alluring]

How adorable u r


looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

Stop hitting on me PEDO