My Friend just Cancelled his Wedding ....

[Abba Sadacha]

Sounds like someone was maybe jealous of this sister's marriage and wanted to ruin it. The hate is real out here, and misery does love company-except for those whom Allaah assists in fighting their Nafs/soul.
I also sympathize with the brother, I wouldn't want to marry a sister who openly had a boyfriend... it's one thing to do a sin once, repent, and stay away from it... but it's another thing entirely to openly persist upon a sin... and Allaah knows best.

 

[Sophisticate]

Nothing wrong with going away from uni if you dodge broke students/other undesirables and if you don't lose your mind and slam a few dozen jagerbombs every 2 for 1 student Mondays lol. Some, and I mean some, of the Somali girls I've met at Uni don't have your level of impluse control though. That shit was like Sodom and Gomorrah 2.0

You might not be jaded but you might want to get a move on. The pool of available suitors who aren't absolute saqajaans or autistic weirdos in "tech" is quickly shrinking. You'll find yourself wading in the same waters as reformed scumbags like me or divorcees if you're not careful lol

I lowkey have a thing for reformed saqajaans who are smart. It's strange, considering you guys make me want to cross the street to avoid you. The conversational chemistry is fire, especially when your relationship histories are polar opposite.

Alx, I am not one of those good girls looking to tend and mend. The urge to help them is there but not to my detriment. I don't want to deal with the baggage that comes from their old escapades or worry they caught some fertility zapping bug as a consequence. Let me admire them from where I'm at far, far away.

 

[Amina99]

Its Angelina what do you expect

You could say a women murdered a man cold blooded & she would be here saying it was self defense.

Girl I’m sorry, even I had to laugh at that one. Spit out my water and everything.
But I def see where she’s coming from. It’s just that you lot just ignore what she’s trying to point out.

 

[Amina99]

Y’all are SO insecure. It says ajnabi in the thread not madhow but here y’all are
No wonder black men are so gassed up

Remember other black men have rippling muscular bodies with rock hard abs. Denzel Washington ( in his prime ), and Idris Elba looking types. They immediately assume it’s a black man and go for insults lol.

 

[Amina99]

To the people here who don’t use racist terms like him … Can we please start to ban and report any user who uses such horrific terms like that bastard above ?
Other nationalities see this site and screenshot and post it on other platforms to prove how “racist” we supposedly are. I’ve seen it in lipstick alley and Twitter.
All cause of that one bastard and what he said and we all racist.
Thats totally unacceptable.

 

[Amina99]

Stop capping for ajnabis who use the same terminology to describe our kind

I’m not capping for them. I’m simply saying when they see terms like what you said … I’ve seen them go off about how awful we are.

And btw… the term pirate or refugees isn’t as bad as saying what you said. Not by a long shot. It’s still discriminatory towards us, but what you said is vile and not needed. Just say I’m not like them.
But you sound like racist red neck.
If anything you capping for the white man by saying the terms you used. Cause they use that to insult blacks as well.
Like anyone seeing what you said would think your a red neck and not a whole African.
Do better.

 

[World]

I don't personally care because I'm massive piece of shit myself but I can see why guys who take their deen seriously and have avoided this shit might be shitting bricks lol. There plenty of decent girls sxb, but you're fucked if you're some rookie who doesn't know how to ask the right probing questions. Again, it's in Allah swt hand's.


No one's perfect sxb, we all have our skeletons. But again, I can see why lads who haven't gotten their hands dirty might be rattled by this shit. I mean sure, you can do your due diligence but it's ultimately out of your control. Just think of girls with a bodycount less than 5 as virgins and you're sweet

Sxb just because you’re got your hands dirty in the past doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about a girl’s history. There is a difference between a guy who sleeps around and a girl who sleeps around. The latter will never be marriage material and will eventually cheat because she cannot remain in a stable relationship, her dopamine levels are fucked up. Get yourself a virgin religious xalimo as long as you’ve repented and don’t engage in debauchery anymore.

 

[Amina99]

Sxb just because you’re got your hands dirty in the past doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about a girl’s history. There is a difference between a guy who sleeps around and a girl who sleeps around. The latter will never be marriage material and will eventually cheat because she cannot remain in a stable relationship, her dopamine levels are fucked up. Get yourself a virgin religious xalimo as long as you’ve repented and don’t engage in debauchery anymore.

Did you actually say this ? That the whole Hadith about virgins for virgins and the unchaste for the unchaste plays no part ?
There is absolutely repercussions if a man sleeps around a lot as well. Not just if a woman does it. He won’t be able to be sasitified with his one wife and will always seek out more cause he has no self control.


No virgin pure Muslim woman should accept a man that’s slept around ! Absolutely not.
@Angelina are you seeing this ?

So a woman who dated and may have slept around but doesn’t do so anymore, and has repented and sought forgiveness isn’t accepted ? She can’t repent ? But a man who’s slept around and has repented for his actions is accepted ? Who are you to say this ?

 

[Angelina]

Sxb just because you’re got your hands dirty in the past doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about a girl’s history. There is a difference between a guy who sleeps around and a girl who sleeps around. The latter will never be marriage material and will eventually cheat because she cannot remain in a stable relationship, her dopamine levels are fucked up. Get yourself a virgin religious xalimo as long as you’ve repented and don’t engage in debauchery anymore.

Not true. Men who cheat tend to be the men with history of zina and not lowering gaze as well. Also, statistically men cheat more in relationships. So clearly, they have more issues with bonding and loyalty.

How is anything you said remotely logical?

 

[Kan'an]

I hope you rot in hell for bringin my son up. You are a vile peice of shit and a waste of a sperm. You should have been aborted and I hope you get cancer.

I am sorry, I know he said vile things towards your family, but watching you curse at someone and finally break good girl character is hilarious.

 

[Kane]

Go fix your country instead of living off another mans countrys and causing havoc nacas.

you’re not a bad person you’re just lost.

In the short time I’ve interacted with you, your attitude has improved immensely, you make me proud.

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Sxb just because you’re got your hands dirty in the past doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about a girl’s history. There is a difference between a guy who sleeps around and a girl who sleeps around. The latter will never be marriage material and will eventually cheat because she cannot remain in a stable relationship, her dopamine levels are fucked up. Get yourself a virgin religious xalimo as long as you’ve repented and don’t engage in debauchery anymore.

Zina leaves a black spot on your heart sxb, irrespective of gender. Do you think I'd listen to some girl's whiny bullshit the same way a virgin Farax who's experiencing love for the first time would lol? Men aren't immune sxb, it affects us differently. Being a saqajaan mainly just makes you less tolerant, whereas girls who's been "around" tend to struggle with being content with whomever they're with.

A virgin religious xalimo who never fully got over her 1st love or has deep-seated daddy issues is more dangerous than a girl who caught 1-3 bodies sxb

I lowkey have a thing for reformed saqajaans who are smart. It's strange, considering you guys make me want to cross the street to avoid you. The conversational chemistry is fire, especially when your relationship histories are polar opposite.

Alx, I am not one of those good girls looking to tend and mend. The urge to help them is there but not to my detriment. I don't want to deal with the baggage that comes from their old escapades or worry they caught some fertility zapping bug as a consequence. Let me admire them from where I'm at far, far away.

Enchanté Mademoiselle
The conversation's better because they don't crawl up your ass and rent space up there like nice miskeen boys who think the key to winning you over is agreeing with everything you say lol

Good for you wallahi. The whole "I can fix this person" thing is retarded. I've been with enough BPD nutcases to realise there's just no fixing some people lol. Most "broken" saqajaan just have trust issues whereas their female counterparts come with a whole host of issues. They're either contantly calling you crying at 3am or act like you don't exist for days at a time.

 

[Angelina]

Zina leaves a black spot on your heart sxb, irrespective of gender. Do you think I'd listen to some girl's whiny bullshit the same way a virgin Farax who's experiencing love for the first time would lol? Men aren't immune sxb, it affects us differently. Being a saqajaan mainly just makes you less tolerant, whereas girls who's been "around" tend to struggle with being content with whomever they're with.

Absolute bullshit lie that society peddles and its women that suffer the consequences, especially since they have a fetish of being the girl that tames and changes the 'bad guy'.

Most cheating men have a history of sleeping around and not lowering their gaze. They also have issues with not being content with one woman as they've had experiences with other women. Men cheat more so than women, so clearly from looking at statistics, more men have issues with contentment.

A virgin religious xalimo who never fully got over her 1st love or has deep-seated daddy issues is more dangerous than a girl who caught 1-3 bodies sxb

Any woman who doesn't fear Allah can be dangerous. Seriously men's insecurities must be exhausting because at the end of the day anyone with free-will can end up doing anything. That is why I find the guys here batshit crazy. Instead of putting their trust in Allah, they're literally -shaming any and I mean any girl that puts a foot wrong or any that has any form of independence because it scares them that they can't fully control her. So even miskeen girls who might have studied abroad or out of the city, ones that might have lived alone, ones that went on holidays with friends are now on the firing line.

Good for you wallahi. The whole "I can fix this person" thing is retarded. I've been with enough BPD nutcases to realise there's just no fixing some people lol. Most "broken" saqajaan just have trust issues whereas their female counterparts come with a whole host of issues. They're either contantly calling you crying at 3am or act like you don't exist for days at a time.

'I can fix this person' is a certainly a female issue. I honestly think its one of the reasons why some men are entitled. Many girls will get with a guy with a blantant past and other issues, yet if the roles were reversed the man wouldn't even spit in her direction if she had even half of the issues he had. That is how men like @World come into existence.

@Amina99

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[Bundasliga]

Men cheat more so than women, so clearly from looking at statistics, more men have issues with contentment.

At the end of the day, men cheat more than women, even in societies in which women sleep around. Therefore the idea that men that have a past can sustain more stable relationships is absolute bull shit.

Wrong,
Women in their prime years 18-30 cheat more .

 

[Angelina]

Wrong,
Women in their prime years 18-30 cheat more .

Nope, women cheat more when they're in their 60s at 16%, but even at their most, men still beat them LOOOL.


Its only that from 18-29 at 11% that is the only category in which they cheat more than men and guess what? By only 1% LOL and men beat them in EVERY other age group by a significant difference. Men simply cheat more in general and there is no competition.
So, no you're wrong. My point still stands.

Look at this graph. This is where the data comes from that women between 18-29 cheat 1% more than men but in literally every other age group men out cheat them significantly.

Why lie, do you think people can't read data?

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Absolute bullshit lie that society peddles and its women that suffer the consequences, especially since they have a fetish of being the girl that tames and changes the 'bad guy'.

Most cheating men have a history of sleeping around and not lowering their gaze. They also have issues with not being content with one woman as they've had experiences with other women. Men cheat more so than women, so clearly from looking at statistics, more men have issues with contentment.

Any woman who doesn't fear Allah can be dangerous. Seriously men's insecurities must be exhausting because at the end of the day anyone with free-will can end up doing anything. That is why I find the guys here batshit crazy. Instead of putting their trust in Allah, they're literally -shaming any and I mean any girl that puts a foot wrong or any that has any form of independence because it scares them that they can't fully control her. So even miskeen girls who might have studied abroad or out of the city, ones that might have lived alone, ones that went on holidays with friends are now on the firing line.

'I can fix this person' is a certainly a female issue. I honestly think its one of the reasons why some men are entitled. Many girls will get with a guy with a blantant past and other issues, yet if the roles were reversed the man wouldn't even spit in her direction if she had even half of the issues he had. That is how men like @World come into existence.

@Amina99

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Both genders have to deal with the consequences of pre-marital sex and zina, but I personally think it's more damaging to a woman's psyche overall. It's anecdotal but most of the saqajaans I know, think 80+ bodies, are all in semi-functional relationships. Not perfect, but functional. They seem happier and more fulfilled in their relationships than the girl saqajaans I know. It doesn't wreck men emotionally as much as it does women. Paternity issues aside, why do you think it's not permissible for women to marry 4 husbands?lol

Bollocks, men 100% don't cheat more than women, that's just untrue lol. They cheat at about the same rate. A lot of these infidelity studies are self reported. The "men cheat more" stereotype needs to die, this isn't the 50s lol.

I think men who weren't complete pieces of shit have every right to be nervous. Women aren't as forth-coming about their past as most men are. Because in a fucked up way, sleeping around is a point of pride for alot of men. So I can completey understand why a guy who resisted temptation and didn't get up to all sorts of fuckery would be sweating buckets and find the thought of being conned terrifying. Not to say that they're justified in painting women with the same brush, but I understand where that fear comes from. It's not fair to just be like "stop being insecure and paranoid" and dismiss it.

I don't have a dog in this fight. If the girl was a dirtbag like me (under double digits obvsly, I'm some cadaan cuck), then that just means I get a discount on the mehr

 

[Angelina]

Both genders have to deal with the consequences of pre-marital sex and zina, but I personally think it's more damaging to a woman's psyche overall. It's anecdotal but most of the saqajaans I know, think 80+ bodies, are all in semi-functional relationships. Not perfect, but functional. They seem happier and more fulfilled in their relationships than the girl saqajaans I know. It doesn't wreck men emotionally as much as it does women. Paternity issues aside, why do you think it's not permissible for women to marry 4 husbands?lol

How do you know these men aren't cheating though? Women tend to forgive cheating more so than men. Also, unfortunately some men will regard a man having a bit on the side but coming home for dinner as 'functional'.

Bollocks, men 100% don't cheat more than women, that's just untrue lol. They cheat at about the same rate. A lot of these infidelity studies are self reported.

Lol, according to studies they do and I 100% believe it. I'm sorry but society is a lot more rewarding to cheating men than women. With women, there is still an element of shaming that kinda keeps more women in check compared to that of men. Especially in Muslim communities. If a Somali girl was found out to cheat, she'd be a social outcast. Even women would bully her. Recently, the guys I know who've been busted for cheating in our community are living their best lives and simply got divorced and are trying to find their next victim to hoodwink.

I think men who weren't complete pieces of shit have every right to be insecure. Women aren't as forth-coming about their past as most men are.

A woman will be judged as a prostitute by some mad men for simply kissing a guy before marriage by a man with a body count of 10 in our community. Blame men and society. Also, normal well adjusted men simply try to find a decent girl, do background checks and then put their trust in Allah.

Because in a fucked up way, sleeping around is a point of pride for most men.

Only in the West. Goes to show how Western society has messed with our psych. I see it on this forum, they hate that Somali girls have been influenced by the West a bit, when they glorify Zina and now you have absolute miskeens acting like they run through girls. Like why?! The type of women they want to marry in the long run who have their wits about them will avoid men who have a past or lie about having a past.

So I can completey understand why a guy who resisted temptation and didn't get up to all sorts of fuckery would be sweating buckets and find the thought of being conned terrifying. Not to say that they're justified in painting women with the same brush, but I understand where that fear comes from. It's not fair to just dismiss it.

Why sweat buckets over something you can't control and act like a piece of shit towards random women living their lives because you're scared she might of slept around? Those types of guys are usually absolute weirdos.

I don't have a dog in this fight. If the girl was a dirtbag like me then that just means I get a discount on the mehr

Mehr is simply a gift you give a girl. You're not buying the lass and it isn't an indication of her worth whatsoever. If she's someone you're willing to marry and love, I don't know why you'd think of her in that way.

 

[Bundasliga]

Nope, women cheat more when they're in their 60s at 16%, but even at their most, men still beat them LOOOL.


Its only that from 18-29 at 11% that is the only category in which they cheat more than men and guess what? By only 1% LOL and men beat them in EVERY other age group by a significant difference. Men simply cheat more in general and there is no competition.
So, no you're wrong. My point still stands.

View attachment 231365

Look at this graph. This is where the data comes from that women between 18-29 cheat 1% more than men but in literally every other age group men out cheat them significantly.

Why lie, do you think people can't read data?

I literally said between the ages 18-30, I'm right . They cheat in their sexual prime more whether its marriage or not they overall more promiscuous compared to men at the younger ages.

Men have higher libido & men are build for polygamy those are some excuses for their infidelity .

What are the excuses for the high % of infidelity for women?

 

[Angelina]

I literally said between the ages 18-30, I'm right . They cheat in their sexual prime more whether its marriage or not they overall more promiscuous compared to men at the younger ages.

Men have higher libido & men are build for polygamy those are some excuses for their infidelity .

What are the excuses for the high % of infidelity for women?

Women don't cheat more in their 'prime' in fact they cheat more as ayeeyos 60-69 actually, but simply cheat 1% more than men in that age group.So again, what you're saying is false.
Also, 1% is literally an insignificant difference.


Also, where did this myth about men being built for polygamy come from? Throughout human history, the vast majority of men had 1 or no wife. Polygamy has only ever been for a small %. Men and women obviously are not the same. But men using 'polygamy' as an excuse to cheat is dumb as even within an Islamic framework, you're only allowed polygamy depending on your resources and ability to be just.

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

How do you know these men aren't cheating though? Women tend to forgive cheating more so than men. Also, unfortunately some men will regard a man having a bit on the side but coming home for dinner as 'functional'.

Lol, according to studies they do and I 100% believe it. I'm sorry but society is a lot more rewarding to cheating men than women. With women, there is still an element of shaming that kinda keeps more women in check compared to that of men. Especially in Muslim communities. If a Somali girl was found out to cheat, she'd be a social outcast. Even women would bully her. Recently, the guys I know who've been busted for cheating in our community are living their best lives and simply got divorced and are trying to find their next victim to hoodwink.

A woman will be judged as a prostitute by some mad men for simply kissing a guy before marriage by a man with a body count of 10 in our community. Blame men and society. Also, normal well adjusted men simply try to find a decent girl, do background checks and then put their trust in Allah.

Only in the West. Goes to show how Western society has messed with our psych. I see it on this forum, they hate that Somali girls have been influenced by the West a bit, when they glorify Zina and now you have absolute miskeens acting like they run through girls. Like why?! The type of women they want to marry in the long run who have their wits about them will avoid men who have a past or lie about having a past.

Why sweat buckets over something you can't control and act like a piece of shit towards random women living their lives because you're scared she might of slept around? Those types of guys are usually absolute weirdos.

Mehr is simply a gift you give a girl. You're not buying the lass and it isn't an indication of her worth whatsoever. If she's someone you're willing to marry and love, I don't know why you'd think of her in that way.

I honestly don't have the energy for the men do "X" women do "Y" pissing contest today wallal, have a nice afternoon