Honest question to the married Diaspora males & the likeminded

[Inquisitive_]

I’m laidback and chill and so is she I don’t enforce rules nor do I see the point of Controlling the household cause we both are in charge of the household we cook and clean together and any changes we think about we sit and communicate about it

Anybody worried about authority in marriage isn’t ready for an adult relationship

Every organisation, cooperation or business has hierarchies, a clear chain of command and authority that is handed down from top to bottom.

Without this, there is confusion, which leads to chaos and the eventual collapse of that business, organisation or cooperation.

Our Prophet (PBUH) even went as far as to say that we should appoint a leader if we are more then 2 people for this very reason!.

Your idealistic machinations have no application in the real world and for you to come with the ridiculous notion that a household which is worth far more then any business, cooperation or organisation should have no hierarchy and no leader, show's how disturbingly out of touch you are with reality.

 

[Mercury]

Every organisation, cooperation or business has hierarchies, a clear chain of command and authority that is handed down from top to bottom.

Without this, there is confusion, which leads to chaos and the eventual collapse of that business, organisation or cooperation.

Our Prophet (PBUH) even went as far as to say that we should appoint a leader if we are more then 2 people for this very reason!.

Your idealistic machinations have no application in the real world and for you to come with the ridiculous notion that a household which is worth far more then any business, cooperation or organisation should have no hierarchy and no leader, show's how disturbingly out of touch you are with reality.

This ain’t a job interview

It’s simple really if your wife respects you she will let automatically be the head of the household but if you’re not contributing and she have to pick up after you how can you be the head of the house if you don’t lead by example?

 

[Dues Ex Machina]

This is a foolish question. Certain men have a predisposition to let their wives run them and others make sure their wives know who is in charge. When you get married you should already have a power dynamic set up with your wife to make sure that things don't change in the marriage. Also when it comes to mehr, as long as the girl genuinely likes you she won't ask for much and halimos that grew up in the west can be manipulated when it comes to those prices, however if you are lacking in looks than you will most likely be asked to pay higher mehr prices and will also not be the head of the household in many cases.

 

[Inquisitive_]

This ain’t a job interview

It’s simple really if your wife respects you she will let automatically be the head of the household but if you’re not contributing and she have to pick up after you how can you be the head of the house if you don’t lead by example?

You still don't get it.

There is no such thing as a "wife" letting you be the head of the household or the equally absurd her giving you a "chance".

If these words even come out of her mouth it's the clearest manifestation that you are pathetic spineless weakling she has no respect for and if she had a choice, you're lifeless carcass would be burnt at the stake.

You clearly don't understand the basic biology of women or even your own biology.

Even if you are the biggest of losers back-home but at least have the ability and cajoles to enforce your authority, power and control in the household, she will respect you and love you for it.

But in the west, you can be Jeff bezos rich but due to the power dynamic imbalance, she has no fear or respect for you, knowing she can kick you out with ease, take the children and half your wealth.

When you give this type of power to women over men, they can't help but become biologically repulsed by those same men, hence the ridiculous divorce rates and the fact they initiate 70% of it. (in our community it's 90%)

 

[NotMyL]

@Inquisitive_ reminds me of those old heads that always talk about “back in my day a woman belonged in the kitchen”

Walal you sound miserable, I hope one day you will meet a lovely lady to brighten your life up.

 

[Suldaanka]

Dont get married in the West. Simple.
Low cost mehr(which is always forgiven)
She knows her place.
Knows how to raise kids.

Go to Somalia. Beautiful and natural women who are obedient

 

[NotMyL]

@Boqor Quark Boqor Cisman bro I mistakenly thought you were married in the diaspora.




Bro mehr is not much of an issue, from the 10-40k spent meher is only between 10-15% of that figure especially more so in our communities, at least that money goes directly to her and she benefits from it.

Because the other 90% is shared between

- The infidel shop keeper that owns that white dress
- The Asian/White business woman that owns the hair salon and also does her make-up.
- The Pot Bellied Pakistani Business man that owns the hall and serves the food.
- His obese wife that owns the cake shop were the wedding cake comes from.
- Their business minded son who owns the car rental place were they hire his limo for an hour.
- The racist white lady that own the Jewellery shop were he bough her ring from.


Look how many business people benefit from the money that is spent by pathetic first generation Somali immigrants for just a single evening.

Then people wonder why we are so collectively poor, because we have no concept nor understanding of what generational wealth actually is, something our forefathers understood very well.

When the Pakistani, Arab's or Asian's marry, at least 90% of that money circulates among their own families, cousins, uncles, brothers etc and the mehr alone makes up at least 30-40% of the total figure from which the wife directly benefits.

It sounds to me like your issue should be why more Somalis aren’t opening business besides halal and money transfer companies.

 

[Mercury]

You still don't get it.

There is no such thing as a "wife" letting you be the head of the household or the equally absurd her giving you a "chance".

If these words even come out of her mouth it's the clearest manifestation that you are pathetic spineless weakling she has no respect for and if she had a choice, you're lifeless carcass would be burnt at the stake.

You clearly don't understand the basic biology of women or even your own biology.

Even if you are the biggest of losers back-home but at least have the ability and cajoles to enforce your authority, power and control in the household, she will respect you and love you for it.

But in the west, you can be Jeff bezos rich but due to the power dynamic imbalance, she has no fear or respect for you, knowing she can kick you out with ease, take the children and half your wealth.

When you give this type of power to women over men, they can't help but become biologically repulsed by those same men, hence the ridiculous divorce rates and the fact they initiate 70% of it. (in our community it's 90%)

What the hell are you on about

 

[ThreeTwentyOne]

What the hell are you on about

Wallahi I'm surprised it took me long enough to find a comment like this lol I've been trying to understand what the hell hes been talking about for the longest time

 

[Inquisitive_]

@Inquisitive_ reminds me of those old heads that always talk about “back in my day a woman belonged in the kitchen”

Walal you sound miserable, I hope one day you will meet a lovely lady to brighten your life up.

You remind me of those old scorned women who like nothing more then the current shameful status quo to continue because it benefits them.

It sounds to me like your issue should be why more Somalis aren’t opening business besides halal and money transfer companies.

That's a tertiary or a quaternary issue at best, and besides this is unlikely to happen when you have a sickening culture like ours were the mother runs the show.

When the mother and her degenerate daughter demand that 90% of all proceeds go to Pakistani/White businesses first, you have 0% of competing against them.

How on earth will you compete with a model in which you impoverish your own while enriching others? how on earth do you expect to succeed in life with this type of mentality? wealth is generational madame.

As Somali's we are the very worst group because not only are we first generation immigrants but also our parents are refugees that lost everything back home, everyone else as a result gets a head start on us.

You of all people should know this but of course your oblivious to it all.

This is one of many reasons why I need absolute authority over you, to ensure you never press that self-destruct button and condemn our entire family to a life of servitude and poverty.

 

[Mercury]

Wallahi I'm surprised it took me long enough to find a comment like this lol I've been trying to understand what the hell hes been talking about for the longest time

He making no sense

 

[NotMyL]

You remind me of those old scorned women who like nothing more then the current shameful status quo to continue because it benefits them.


That's a tertiary or a quaternary issue at best, and besides this is unlikely to happen when you have a sickening culture like ours were the mother runs the show.

When the mother and her degenerate daughter demand that 90% of all proceeds go to Pakistani/White businesses first, you have 0% of competing against them.

How on earth will you compete with a model in which you impoverish your own while enriching others? how on earth do you expect to succeed in life with this type of mentality? wealth is generational madame.

As Somali's we are the very worst group because not only are we first generation immigrants but also our parents are refugees that lost everything back home, everyone else as a result gets a head start on us.

You of all people should know this but of course your oblivious to it all.

This is one of many reasons why I need absolute authority over you, to ensure you never press that self-destruct button and condemn our entire family to a life of servitude and poverty.

Ahh the good old playing the victim, what does you’re parents being refugees have to do with you starting a better life? You have been given the opportunity but UK folks would rather be leeches. There are multiple wedding venues in MN owned by Somalis and used by Somalis.

And your need for absolute control over your wife has more to do with you being crazy control freak and less to do with wanting better for your offspring so let’s cut the bs.

 

[Gambar]

You are obsessed with marriage.

 

[Mercury]

You are obsessed with marriage.

Well they say obsession is needed when you’re striving for a life that’s uncommon

 

[ABG]

First fovgive me for my exessive spelling and grammer mixtaes im in a bit of a rush


Shikho, I dont have much time to discuss this at moment but I do want to say that I agree with your statement it being in the nature of a women to desire a man who establishes his authority in his household, not as a tryant but one where his womenfolk and other dependents can seek guidence, to be in a such poisition where the natural power dymics are respected two things are needed, he must be abel to provide, protect, and be worthy of respect. Secondlly she must of a understadable character and have respect for Allah and his commanments because above every authority is tbe ultimate authority Allah

I agree its more wise to marry back home but belligerence is something a in a persons character just like there are combative men and women present back home so are pleasent and agrreeable people here in tbe west. To me it boils down to persons fear Allah

 

[ABG]

Also Im not married as of yet but I wanting a stable and fruitful marriage to rear the most successful offspring, my psyce is marred by the same worries and concerns as OP

 

[Inquisitive_]

First fovgive me for my exessive spelling and grammer mixtaes im in a bit of a rush


Shikho, I dont have much time to discuss this at moment but I do want to say that I agree with your statement it being in the nature of a women to desire a man who establishes his authority in his household, not as a tryant but one where his womenfolk and other dependents can seek guidence, to be in a such poisition where the natural power dymics are respected two things are needed, he must be abel to provide, protect, and be worthy of respect. Secondlly she must of a understadable character and have respect for Allah and his commanments because above every authority is tbe ultimate authority Allah

I agree its more wise to marry back home but belligerence is something a in a persons character just like there are combative men and women present back home so are pleasent and agrreeable people here in tbe west. To me it boils down to persons fear Allah

A belligerent woman back home can't do much damage, the kids stay with me, a belligerent woman in the diaspora however has the nuke codes, the ability to destroy herself, you and the children.

We see the consequences of this today everywhere, children growing up without fathers, boy's in prison, girls running around loose imitating other cultures etc.

And your need for absolute control over your wife has more to do with you being crazy control freak and less to do with wanting better for your offspring so let’s cut the bs.

If I did not care about my offspring as you say?

Why on earth would I even want to get married? and if I did so, divorce is no big deal since I don't care about the welfare of my children and there are plenty of women queuing up, it's normal for single mothers to have several husbands in a short period of time.

If your going to make up theories huuno at least make them sound plausible, the absolute authority is needed to ensure the safeguarding of the entire family including yourself.

I don't do divorce and the sanctity of marriage is of high importance to me as someone that grew up in a household were disputes were resolved with ease.

The only way for me to ensure you don't treat it as a joke yourself like the majority of Xaalimo's already have, is to make sure the power that the satanic kufr legal systems granted you is taken away and replaced with shariah.

When you have as much to loose as me, we will easily resolve any differences that come up between us.

I don't care about 99% of things, my red lines are very simple, anything that comes against the religion I will never tolerate along with anything that harms us as a family unit, anything other then that I am extremely lax with even if you want to harm yourself only, I wont go beyond advice.

 

[Lostbox]

No point of being a father or husband today. What are the benefits? People will list how society and children benefit. Not you personally. No respect, no guarantee and a whole lot of wasted money. That how I see it now but who knows my outlook will be in the future.

 

[Inquisitive_]

No point of being a father or husband today. What are the benefits? People will list how society and children benefit. Not you personally. No respect, no guarantee and a whole lot of wasted money. That how I see it now but who knows my outlook in the future.

No one benefits not even the wife or the children, it's a race to the bottom in the west.

That's what this topic was essentially about, to hopefully get one of the brothers that married in the diaspora to give us their point of view, which hasn't happened thus far.

In my own personal view, any dude >25 that decides to take this massive gamble in the diaspora, is not a smart, intelligent or rational.

It's a person that doesn't care about himself and more importantly his offspring, because when something has value in your eyes, you would never gamble with it.

 

[Basra]

No one benefits not even the wife or the children, it's a race to the bottom in the west.

That's what this topic was essentially about, to hopefully get one of the brothers that married in the diaspora to give us their point of view, which hasn't happened thus far.

In my own personal view, any dude >25 that decides to take this massive gamble in the diaspora, is not a smart, intelligent or rational.

It's a person that doesn't care about himself and more importantly his offspring, because when something has value in your eyes, you would never gamble with it.

Your Imaan quotient is very low. Not to mention your masculinity. You are not driven by your sperms but by your inordinate yet abnormal amount of estrogen