Exmuslims- Cutting contact with family- Advice needed

[0117]

relax sahib i fast during ramadan but i just dont pray my daily prayers thats all

You fast but yet you don't pray?

 

[farax]

You fast but yet you don't pray?

You fast but yet you don't pray?

You can fast if you want to if you’re not Muslim

 

[0117]

You can fast if you want to if you’re not Muslim

Yh of course you can do that but I thought he was a muslim

 

[Mozart]

Some people's posts on this site make it seem like they grew up in Prisons. Are Somali parents really that strict/ultra-religious ?

 

[Happy_]

I feel this thread has derailed into trying to convert me back to Islam, that’s not going to happen I specifically asked y’all not to do that in the original post.

Thank you to all of the members who gave me advice, I really appreciate it sincerely.

I don’t plan on finishing studying because I hate the program I’m studying (nursing) and from experience in working in a clinical setting I know I won’t be happy doing that so why bother putting more years into that. I’d just be wasting years of my life. I know something else I’m good at and will make good money off. I’m tired of wasting my life. I feel like a coward, keep putting off what needs to be done

I’m leaning towards suggesting the idea of my leaving for school in a different state/country, which my parents will of course immediately reject, then I’ll pack up and leave while they’re gone, call my mother from the airport telling her I’ve accepted the offer to study abroad. Tell her I have to do this and I love her and remain in contact, and slower lessen the contact, so that we talk one or twice a month. And over time I’ll visit on occasion but stay in a hotel as I wouldn’t feel safe being in the home alone with them. I’ll save up while I’m gone and first time I come back I’ll give them at least 50k in cash so hopeful that’ll make them forgive me a bit. This way I don’t cut contact completely but they don’t have control I’ve my life as easily but I’m still there when needed.

You gotta take some risks in life right? This might just be the best thing I ever did. Might be a mistake, but at least it’ll be an exciting adventure. Either way I’m willing to live with the consequences. I’m tired of being cowardly. I need to take this risk.

In what field are you planing to work, 50k is a lot! I hope you stay safe, living by yourself aint easy. You need ppl around you who will check up on you.

 

[Marsh]

I feel this thread has derailed into trying to convert me back to Islam, that’s not going to happen I specifically asked y’all not to do that in the original post.

Thank you to all of the members who gave me advice, I really appreciate it sincerely.

I don’t plan on finishing studying because I hate the program I’m studying (nursing) and from experience in working in a clinical setting I know I won’t be happy doing that so why bother putting more years into that. I’d just be wasting years of my life. I know something else I’m good at and will make good money off. I’m tired of wasting my life. I feel like a coward, keep putting off what needs to be done

I’m leaning towards suggesting the idea of my leaving for school in a different state/country, which my parents will of course immediately reject, then I’ll pack up and leave while they’re gone, call my mother from the airport telling her I’ve accepted the offer to study abroad. Tell her I have to do this and I love her and remain in contact, and slower lessen the contact, so that we talk one or twice a month. And over time I’ll visit on occasion but stay in a hotel as I wouldn’t feel safe being in the home alone with them. I’ll save up while I’m gone and first time I come back I’ll give them at least 50k in cash so hopeful that’ll make them forgive me a bit. This way I don’t cut contact completely but they don’t have control I’ve my life as easily but I’m still there when needed.

You gotta take some risks in life right? This might just be the best thing I ever did. Might be a mistake, but at least it’ll be an exciting adventure. Either way I’m willing to live with the consequences. I’m tired of being cowardly. I need to take this risk.

How close are you too finishing nursing money is super important in life and with money you could change your career. I do wish you luck hopfully you find happiness.

 

[Jacki]

In what field are you planing to work, 50k is a lot! I hope you stay safe, living by yourself aint easy. You need ppl around you who will check up on you.

Management. Yeah I fee I owe them a lot of money to be able to lessen our contact further. Yes I think it’ll be risky living alone in a strange city with no friends or family but I’ll be fine (I hope lol), I’m more resilient than I look. I got me.

 

[Jacki]

How close are you too finishing nursing money is super important in life and with money you could change your career. I do wish you luck hopfully you find happiness.

Thanks buddy. I have 2 more yrs to get my bachelors in nursing but I don’t wish to finish it because I don’t like the medical field. Only reason I went that way is cus my mother wanted me to do so. Don’t worry, I’m too smart to ever be financially insecure.

 

[Happy_]

Management. Yeah I fee I owe them a lot of money to be able to lessen our contact further. Yes I think it’ll be risky living alone in a strange city with no friends or family but I’ll be fine (I hope lol), I’m more resilient than I look. I got me.

Masha‘allah, I wish you success and safety. I hope you find whatever you are looking for. May Allah give you guidance. But yeah cutting ties with family is a tough one, hopefully you find a better solution. One were you and your family are safe and happy

 

[Jacki]

Oh and to the people who replied to this and are saying things like “my family is accepting, they don’t bother me over my lack of religion. You’re over reacting, just tell them, they won’t care” gFUCK YOUUU. Everybody is not as lucky as you are, how incredible disrespectful and inconsiderate to dismiss something as huge as cutting relations with your family as “over reaction” “it’s not that serious” fight me b

 

[PhySom]

I feel this thread has derailed into trying to convert me back to Islam, that’s not going to happen I specifically asked y’all not to do that in the original post.

Thank you to all of the members who gave me advice, I really appreciate it sincerely.

I don’t plan on finishing studying because I hate the program I’m studying (nursing) and from experience in working in a clinical setting I know I won’t be happy doing that so why bother putting more years into that. I’d just be wasting years of my life. I know something else I’m good at and will make good money off. I’m tired of wasting my life. I feel like a coward, keep putting off what needs to be done

I’m leaning towards suggesting the idea of my leaving for school in a different state/country, which my parents will of course immediately reject, then I’ll pack up and leave while they’re gone, call my mother from the airport telling her I’ve accepted the offer to study abroad. Tell her I have to do this and I love her and remain in contact, and slower lessen the contact, so that we talk one or twice a month. And over time I’ll visit on occasion but stay in a hotel as I wouldn’t feel safe being in the home alone with them. I’ll save up while I’m gone and first time I come back I’ll give them at least 50k in cash so hopeful that’ll make them forgive me a bit. This way I don’t cut contact completely but they don’t have control I’ve my life as easily but I’m still there when needed.

You gotta take some risks in life right? This might just be the best thing I ever did. Might be a mistake, but at least it’ll be an exciting adventure. Either way I’m willing to live with the consequences. I’m tired of being cowardly. I need to take this risk.

You need some money saved up, don't cut ties without having at least 30k in the bank. You will also be working dead end jobs to just SURVIVE, take calculated risks not jusr risks.

 

[Dino]

How did I miss this tread.

galos.
imagine raising a daughter only to find out she joined the community of galos.

 

[psyche]

How did I miss this tread.

galos.
imagine raising a daughter only to find out she joined the community of galos.

Just learn to respect people's opinion

The lack of perspective on this site is honestly downright disturbing.

The world doesn't revolve around your belief.

 

[Dino]

Just learn to respect people's opinion

The lack of perspective on this site is honestly downright disturbing.

The world doesn't revolve around your belief.

I really couldn’t care less about your perspective. I would consider myself as complete failure if my daughter became a gaal.

her parents are failures.

alhamdulliah for the niamah of Islam.

 

[psyche]

I really couldn’t care less about your perspective. I would consider myself as complete failure if my daughter became a gaal.

her parents are failures.

alhamdulliah for the niamah of Islam.

A child isn't an extension of your being, only an individual you have great influence on.

By your logic prophet Nuh is considered a failure for having a non-believer son.

 

[Dino]

A child isn't an extension of your being, only an individual you have great influence.

By your logic prophet Nuh is considered a failure for having a non-believer son.

you misunderstand me. Having galo kids Is not parent thing issue completely. But from experience majority of s9mali galos in the west turn galos because the parents have slacked off or were non existent in first place or raised in a single mom household.

kids can be better than parents too. Case in point Ibrahim as.

 

[psyche]

you misunderstand me. Having galo kids Is not parent thing issue completely. But from experience majority of s9mali galos in the west turn galos because the parents have slacked off or were non existent in first place or raised in a single mom household.

kids can be better than parents too. Case in point Ibrahim as.

Considering your post history, I'm not gonna bother arguing with you, especially considering how badly you backtracked.

Have a good day I guess.

 

[Dino]

Considering your post history, I'm not gonna bother arguing with you, especially considering how badly you backtracked.

Have a good day I guess.

good day gaal lover

 

[Sakiin]

I feel this thread has derailed into trying to convert me back to Islam, that’s not going to happen I specifically asked y’all not to do that in the original post.

Thank you to all of the members who gave me advice, I really appreciate it sincerely.

I don’t plan on finishing studying because I hate the program I’m studying (nursing) and from experience in working in a clinical setting I know I won’t be happy doing that so why bother putting more years into that. I’d just be wasting years of my life. I know something else I’m good at and will make good money off. I’m tired of wasting my life. I feel like a coward, keep putting off what needs to be done

I’m leaning towards suggesting the idea of my leaving for school in a different state/country, which my parents will of course immediately reject, then I’ll pack up and leave while they’re gone, call my mother from the airport telling her I’ve accepted the offer to study abroad. Tell her I have to do this and I love her and remain in contact, and slower lessen the contact, so that we talk one or twice a month. And over time I’ll visit on occasion but stay in a hotel as I wouldn’t feel safe being in the home alone with them. I’ll save up while I’m gone and first time I come back I’ll give them at least 50k in cash so hopeful that’ll make them forgive me a bit. This way I don’t cut contact completely but they don’t have control I’ve my life as easily but I’m still there when needed.

You gotta take some risks in life right? This might just be the best thing I ever did. Might be a mistake, but at least it’ll be an exciting adventure. Either way I’m willing to live with the consequences. I’m tired of being cowardly. I need to take this risk.

Do you think 50k or any amount of cash will mend your parent’s hearts?

Wallahi you’re going to break your mother’s heart. You can never understand what it means to be a mother until you’re one yourself.

You grew in her stomach for 9 months, she went through the pain of labour, she nursed you and had sleepless nights taking care of you. She watched you take your first steps, say your first words...she watched you grow up...happily sacrificing anything for you.

Wallahi i feel so bad for your mum. Is it worth chasing after the freedom you’re seeking even if it means tearing your mum’s heart apart?

Even if you are no longer Muslim...your mum deserves your compassion and companionship.

If you would take my advice I would implore you not to make any drastic decisions. Don’t just leave...don’t tell them you’re no longer Muslim. Rather think about pleasing your mother before yourself... because at the end of the day you can never repay her enough for the love and affection she gave you from the day you were conceived.

 

[Sakiin]

I really can't convey how I truly feel about Islam over text but all I can say for now is that I'm trying my best to be a better Muslim

I pray 5 times, I'm on track to finishing the Quran during Ramadan and I haven't miss a single day of fasting.

Yet I still feel a heaviness in my heart and my mind wonders whether I'll truly be happy like this for the rest of my life.

I'm still young and naive so hopefully things change for the better in the future but for now this lifestyle is exhausting me.

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “When Allah created Paradise and Hellfire, he sent Gabriel to Paradise saying: Behold it and what I have prepared therein for its people. Gabriel came and looked at it and what Allah had prepared therein for its people. He returned to Allah and he said: By your might, no one will hear of it but that he will enter it. Allah ordered that it be surrounded by adversity and he said: Return to it and behold what I have prepared therein for its people. Gabriel returned and found that it was surrounded by hardship. He returned to Allah and he said: By your might, I fear that no one will enter it. Allah said: Go to the Hellfire and behold it and what I have prepared therein for its people. Gabriel found that it was in layers, one above another. He returned to Allah and he said: By your might, no one who hears of it will enter it. Allah ordered that it be surrounded by desires and he said: Return to it. Gabriel returned and he said: By your might, I fear that no one will escape it.”

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2560


Bro strive no matter what. Fighting against the islamophobia and all the doubts prevalent today is a hardship...doing good deeds, fasting, waking up at night to pray etc is a hardship... fighting against your jinn qareen who wants to mislead you and beautify your desires is a hardship...fighting against iblees and his army of shaytaan from mankind and jinn who want you to disbelief in Allah and join them in the hellfire is a hardship.

Jannah..the happiness of your Lord is only attained after fighting against all the hardships placed against you in this temporary world.

However, know that with imaan and anticipating reward...that all these hardships in this life will become sweet.

Praying 5 times a day will become something that you look forward to and find happiness in.

Fasting in the month of Ramadan will be a month that you heart finds peace in.

Happiness is only attained when you seek the pleasure of Allah wallahi....everything else in this life pales in comparison.

Those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah), and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah, Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.
Surah a’raad 13:28