Confused and dont know what to do right now

[Desert Flower]

Laakin it seems that you aint reading what i'm writing. I just told you that I don't have my own ride and that we take the bus and metro to the places we go to eat like some miskiimiins

And if she hadn't offered to pay for the food every time and splitted the bill 2-3 times I would have dipped since I aint go time for golddiggers

I read what you wrote.

You mentioned that you had the family car and you and her went to a restaurant together, right? So you drove her to and from the restaurant.

And 'offering to pay for the food' is a gesture that women use to convince you men that we aren't gold diggers. It seems that you took the bait. :siilaanyolaugh:

Anyways, I'm just trying help a young brother out, laakin it seems that you really like this girl. So I'll leave it at that.

 

[Blade1]

You didn’t f*ck up shit.

She didn’t contact you for an entire month.
Big red flag

But you never want to seem too eager especially as a xalimo with pride.
1 month isn't that long she might have been busy genuinely.

 

[Desert Flower]

Some girls "offer" to split knowing full well you'll obviously refuse out of principle.

This.

A man who actually lets the woman pay will most likely never hear from her again, especially a woman with sharaf.

 

[Generalissimo]

Omg some of these advices. Firstly is she shy natured that's why she might be doing this. I think I'd do the exact same thing she is doing so this is a lesson to me taht people will precieve you as what you are and others are saying. Secondly confront her about this and ask her if she's serious or she's playing and got another guy.
Thirdly do not kiss her or any haram things the useless degenerates on here are saying.
I think she likes you and is shy and doenst want to seem too eager or just got you on a backbencher.
She wouldn't do all those things you aid she does if she wants interested. I think she likes you

It could be that she is just shy natured. We live literally in the same neighborhood but I didn't even know that she existed before this year. None of my close friends that live in our neighborhood knows her either. And she doesn't have any profile photos on Facebook and other social medias either so she is kinda lowkey socially.

I guess the only way to know for sure is that i have some serious talk with her in 10 days when i get back home from my trip.

 

[Generalissimo]

That screams "immature" to me.

You don't really need to be a seasoned relationship expert to know whether you like someone. You either do or you don't.

Your probably right there, laakin it just seemed to be such an inbalance in who initiated contact all the time that I wanted to see if I was right in that or not

 

[Cumar]

Cumar I hate to say but he needs to learn the hard way... I’m sure this will turn him into a woman hater but he can’t say the signs were not there


Even I a certified man hater who drinks the tears of Somali men would not wait a whole month to contact a man I wanted to marry.

If a girl aired me out for a month I'd legit think I messed up somehow and it was over. I'd take my L, delete her number and move on to the next one.

The biggest red flag is she uses social media and her phone heavily but doesn't initiate contact with him meaning he clearly ain't a priority for her. Who is she talking to then?

 

[World]

It could be that she is just shy natured. We live literally in the same neighborhood but I didn't even know that she existed before this year. None of my close friends that live in our neighborhood knows her either. And she doesn't have any profile photos on Facebook and other social medias either so she is kinda lowkey socially.

I guess the only way to know for sure is that i have some serious talk with her in 10 days when i get back home from my trip.

No you shouldn’t talk to her seriously anymore

I think you should just take a break from her for a while and do your own thing. If she reaches out to you, then talk to her or else just move on.

 

[Blade1]

No screw what I said before ask her what her opinions on marrying you right now would be like legit right now. Like you will go to her parents. If she's iffy and wants to wait cut her offfffffff. You seem like a nice guy wallahi don't end up like a xalimo hater like alot of these rejected faraxs as much as xalimos act a bit stuck up and wait for the guy to initiate alot faraxs can't handle rejection.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

But you never want to seem too eager especially as a xalimo with pride.
1 month isn't that long she might have been busy genuinely.

95% of convos he started.

He then gave a time period to see if she was as interested in him as he was to her. She failed.

An entire whole month.

I honeslty wouldn’t want to waste energy on someone who wasn’t interested in me.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

This.

A man who actually lets the woman pay will most likely never hear from her again, especially a woman with sharaf.

Damn women ain’t shit. They will dead ass offer to pay for a date and once they do. they decide to never talk to you again.

So shitty. Straight filth.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

@Generalissimo did you spend a lot on these dates?

Hopefully you didn’t since you been on four.

Hopefully you went on cheap museum tours and got some ice cream.

.

 

[Blade1]

It could be that she is just shy natured. We live literally in the same neighborhood but I didn't even know that she existed before this year. None of my close friends that live in our neighborhood knows her either. And she doesn't have any profile photos on Facebook and other social medias either so she is kinda lowkey socially.

I guess the only way to know for sure is that i have some serious talk with her in 10 days when i get back home from my trip.

Oh that's good then if she's like that because I'm the same and what she did would mimick what I'd do. I hope the best inshallah for you two
And if not it wasnt meant to be and qadar and you should look for your right xalimo who could have been one step away the whole time.


BTW HAVE YOU PRAYED ISTIKHARA
http://aboutislam.net/counseling/as...t-married/how-to-make-istikhara-for-marriage/
https://hadithoftheday.com/how-to-perform-salat-l-istikhara/
Allah will show you if it's meant to be a union which will bring blessing

 

[Cumar]

No screw what I said before ask her what her opinions on marrying you right now would be like legit right now. Like you will go to her parents. If she's iffy and wants to wait cut her offfffffff. You seem like a nice guy wallahi don't end up like a xalimo hater like alot of these rejected faraxs as much as xalimos act a bit stuck up and wait for the guy to initiate alot faraxs can't handle rejection.

Somali girls biggest problem is they will talk to multiple guys at the same time (I suspect this is the case here) which is immoral. You should only be considering one guy at a time for marriage.

 

[Generalissimo]

If a girl aired me out for a month I'd legit think I messed up somehow and it was over. I'd take my L, delete her number and move on to the next one.

The biggest red flag is she uses social media and her phone heavily but doesn't initiate contact with him meaning he clearly ain't a priority for her. Who is she talking to then?

What did i miss sxb, where did you read that she uses social media and phone heavily?

 

[Blade1]

95% of convos he started.

He then gave a time period to see if she was as interested in him as he was to her. She failed.

An entire whole month.

I honeslty wouldn’t want to waste energy on someone who wasn’t interested in me.

One month isn't that much tbh. She might she shy like he said. Yes 95% is a bit annoying to start the convo I wonder if she has improved from the start and he should maybe ask her friends how she normally is.

 

[Kudhufo Kadhaqaq]

Somali girls biggest problem is they will talk to multiple guys at the same time (I suspect this is the case here) which is immoral. You should only be considering one guy at a time for marriage.

Most females of all races do that shit bro.

 

[Cumar]

What did i miss sxb, where did you read that she uses social media and phone heavily?

I thought you mentioned she responds to your snaps, and she did instantly when you posted one of you going on a trip. That leads me to believe she is a heavy social media user.

 

[Blade1]

Somali girls biggest problem is they will talk to multiple guys at the same time (I suspect this is the case here) which is immoral. You should only be considering one guy at a time for marriage.

One guy at a time is risky though when we trying to get married.

 

[Muji]

If a girl aired me out for a month I'd legit think I messed up somehow and it was over. I'd take my L, delete her number and move on to the next one.

The biggest red flag is she uses social media and her phone heavily but doesn't initiate contact with him. Who is she talking to then?

Yeah I would have at least slowed down my advances, meet other people and not mention the mariage talks to her again until I saw her making more effort. He is trying to move things along to mariage before they have even established a relationship where she misses him if he doesn’t call her after a couple of days. Why the rush though?

 

[Muji]

Most females of all races do that shit bro.

Kudhufo @Cumar do you only talk to one girl when you’re courting?