Confused and dont know what to do right now

[Muji]

We need some feminine input
@sophisticate @Reiko @Kodeen
Help this farax ladies

 

[Jake from State Farm]

If you don’t speak to different girls how will you know what you like?

One you know what you want and you meet the right girl, don’t mess around with her because unicorns are rare

Ive had guys who’ve pursued me that I wasn’t interested in but I ignored them but if they repeatedly called and I picked up out of boredom, when they confronted me, I wouldn’t tell them I didn’t like them because that’s a tough thing to say to someone who is being nice to you. But I would deliberately remain vague and avoid these topics..

I’ll consider.

 

[Kodeen]

We need some feminine input
@sophisticate @Reiko @Kodeen
Help this farax ladies

Why do you hate me? I've always been courteous and respectful towards you.

What about me triggers you? 90% of my qashin ratings come from you. How do we move forward from this sugartits?

 

[Muji]

Why do you hate me? I've always been courteous and respectful towards you.

What about me triggers you? 90% of my qashin ratings come from you. How do we move forward from this sugartits?

Stick to giving the guy advice I’m genuinely curious

 

[CangeeroBear]

Do a background check saxib , furthermore if you always initiate it means she sees herself as the prize.Thus if she believes she is the prize a subconscious superiority complex will form, she will thus use you without regret.

 

[AussieHustler]

Ask her out.

He did and they went out many times. It’s either a fake story, she isn’t interested in him, or her parents won’t accept him because of his clan. Sxb, lower your standards.

 

[Luna]

She doesn't seem serious to me. Take your time and either stick with her or find someone else. Don't rush, you're still very young but keep it halaal

 

[The Gadabursi Nomad]

He did and they went out many times. It’s either a fake story, she isn’t interested in him, or her parents won’t accept him because of his clan. Sxb, lower your standards.

lol i ment marriage. Sorry for confusing you!

 

[AussieHustler]

lol i ment marriage. Sorry for confusing you!

Nomad

How long will that marriage last? He liked her because of her looks and she can’t even initiate and nor could have a good, stimulating and proper discussion with him. Waa uun jimicsiga sariirta. What happens when she is out of shape? Dadkaan kacsi baay u wada guursadaan.

 

[Generalissimo]

@Generalissimo first of all welcome back Walaal you are one of the very few favourite posters that I have on this godforsaken site.


Second of all I had a similar situation but not entirely the same. I met a halimo like 4 months ago and we hit it off right away and we would converse daily. She had everything I looked for religious, cultured, fluent in the Somali language and educated. I knew that I wanted to marry her within 3 weeks . The thing is I brought up the subject of marriage to her like a month in and she told me that she needed time to think. And to be honest that’s caadi, women have more to lose when they enter marriage as opposed to men so it makes sense that they take the time to think about it. So a month later I brought up the subject of marriage again and alhamdullilah she agreed that after we both are fully stable career wise then we can have the nikaah.

My advice to you is that at the end of the day you have to be DIRECT and ASSERTIVE sometimes. You are a geeljire with honourable blood from your ancestors, insecurity/texting first shouldn’t bother you especially after 6 months sxb. Just bring the topic of marriage up again and be more serious about it and inshallah you get the answer you desire.

I rarely give genuine answers like these but since it’s you I figured I gotta pitch in my 2 cents.

Wish you all the best sxb.

PS. Don’t get discouraged bro, this is the west the chances of her speaking to another geeljire is pretty rare contrary to what the other posters are suggesting.

Thanks walaalkiis for your long and well needed reply It feels good to be back again.

Insha Allah it works out with you and the halimo you meet sxb

I agree with you that the best course of action is to be direct and bring up the topic of marriage laakin should I mention something about how I feel that it feels that I'm the one who has to always initiate conversations when we chat on the phone since either she doesn't realize that she also has to pitch in her 2 cents in the communication part. And how would you recommend bringing up the topic of marriage.

The thing i hate most is how easy this probably seems for someone who is looking at this dilemma from the outside. Laakin when you are right inside the dilemma and emotions of all sorts surround you it makes you loss like 80% of your common sense

 

[AussieHustler]

Generalissimo

I got a better idea and don’t take it the wrong way. Give me her Snapchat account and if it’s true what you told us so far, I will contact her and guarantee you that she will respond positively to your wish to marry her. Take this challenge if it’s real.

 

[Generalissimo]

He did and they went out many times. It’s either a fake story, she isn’t interested in him, or her parents won’t accept him because of his clan. Sxb, lower your standards.

War waxaan baas, qabiil kulaha. How would qabiil be an issue if we haven't talked about clans at all or do you suggest that my qabiil is stamped on my forehead...

 

[Sophisticate]

We need some feminine input
@sophisticate @Reiko @Kodeen
Help this farax ladies

He needs to suss out what her future goals and plans are? It maybe that she doesn't want to be tied down too soon. Particularly, in her early 20s. Then again, everyone is different. Some people welcome the notion of early marriage. Others are more apprehensive about it. And some are commitment shy.

 

[Muji]

Nomad

How long will that marriage last? He liked her because of her looks and she can’t even initiate and nor could have a good, stimulating and proper discussion with him. Waa uun jimicsiga sariirta. What happens when she is out of shape? Dadkaan kacsi baay u wada guursadaan.

Aussie,

Are you suggesting Somalis only marry to have sex?

 

[AussieHustler]

War waxaan baas, qabiil kulaha. How would qabiil be an issue if we haven't talked about clans at all or do you suggest that my qabiil is stamped on my forehead...

Generalissimo

Sxb, Somali women uma baahna someone else to tell them your qabiil, they can smell your qabiil from your body odour.

 

[World]

No screw what I said before ask her what her opinions on marrying you right now would be like legit right now. Like you will go to her parents. If she's iffy and wants to wait cut her offfffffff. You seem like a nice guy wallahi don't end up like a xalimo hater like alot of these rejected faraxs as much as xalimos act a bit stuck up and wait for the guy to initiate alot faraxs can't handle rejection.

I have never come across a xalimo who is stuck up

They are too brave in my opinion

Some of them even trying to be friends with my hooyo and baby sister just to holla at me

 

[PhaedrusHunt]

It’s over bro. For all we know kinte could’ve been smashing that punani in a hotel after your “dates” with her. If a girl is serious she’ll at the very least tell her parents or brother (s) who she’s seeing. And if she ain’t sending you good morning/night texts then that’s a pretty good indicator of her disinterest. It is what it is.

 

[Sophisticate]

It’s over bro. For all we know kinte could’ve been smashing that punani in a hotel after your “dates” with her. If a girl is serious she’ll at the very least tell her parents or brother (s) who she’s seeing. And if she ain’t sending you good morning/night texts then that’s a pretty good indicator of her disinterest. It is what it is.

Good morning/night texts? You are too high maintenance. Not all women are great with communication and many expect you to be the primary intiator. Depends on the female really, but it seems like a general rule. Though I could see the more emotionally mature ones not caring about who starts the convo first and merely just talking when they choose to.

 

[Blade1]

Good morning/night texts? You are too high maintenance. Not all women are great with communication and many expect you to be the primary intiator. Depends on the female really, but it seems like a general rule. Though I could see the more emotionally mature ones not caring about who starts the convo first and merely just talking when they choose to.

Tbh I think men do good morning texts more often than women

 

[PhaedrusHunt]

Good morning/night texts? You are too high maintenance. Not all women are great with communication and many expect you to be the primary intiator. Depends on the female really.

But she had no problem initiating when OP left the country.


OP and this girl are in the 20-22 range so they’re 90’s kids. They should be both be well adept with social media. OP also said that the dates went swimmingly so I don’t think communication is the issue here. Also the fact that OP was initiating contact 90% of the time is suspect.

Step 1. Be attractive.

Step 2. Don’t be unattractive.

In this case a sister wasn’t feeling a brother, it is what it is.