Anyone worried about not being married yet?

[World]

Not gonna like Somali married couples put me off marriage soo much. but happiness in marriage is out there trust in love

What type of Somali friends do you know for their marriages to all end up in divorce?

I thought u were a white washed girl, do you hang around hood xalimos or something?

 

[MariaMaria]

What type of Somali friends do you know for their marriages to all end up in divorce?

I thought u were a white washed girl, do you hang around hood xalimos or something?

All my eedos and adeeros are either divorced or in unhappy marriages(including my parents) , a lot of my young adult cousins are married and seem happy mashallah but most north london Somalis I know that got married, have gotten divorced in the matter of months.

but I have realized I shouldn't base my view on marriage from other peoples experiences long ago

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[World]

All my eedos and adeeros are either divorced or in unhappy marriages(including my parents) , a lot of my young adult cousins are married and seem happy mashallah but most north london Somalis I know that got married, have gotten divorced in the matter of months.

but I have realized I shouldn't base my view on marriage from other peoples experiences long ago

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Well tbh our parents generation did escape a civil war, become refugees in some unknown countries, are not mentally stable, have PTSD etc. I got the impression that their marriages were stable before the civil war.

As for the unhappiness part, idk if that’s true. Somalis are just not affectionate people in comparison to cadaans but that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. They just have a different way of showing it in a way we don’t understand.

Young people usually marry for the wrong reasons, especially in our community. Girls are marrying so they can get out of their parents house, but then they realise that they have more responbilites now that they’re married and want out. They don’t compromise and are too shallow. List goes on. Immature people who view marriage as some sort of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship shouldn’t get married.

 

[Mckenzie]

@MariaMaria there was a thread on Twitter recently where someone said the Tweet below...what do you think?

"Most don't marry the person they love(d) the most. They marry the person that is around when they are ready to marry".

 

[Jake from State Farm]

@MariaMaria there was a thread on Twitter recently where someone said the Tweet below...what do you think?

"Most don't marry the person they love(d) the most. They marry the person that is around when they are ready to marry".

Most people date and have relationships for awhile before they even do marry so that’s a strange tweet.

Arraigned marriages on the other hand are just different. Your basically marrying someone you don’t love and are expected to end up loving that person later on. Sounds pretty risky

 

[MariaMaria]

Well tbh our parents generation did escape a civil war, become refugees in some unknown countries, are not mentally stable, have PTSD etc. I got the impression that their marriages were stable before the civil war.

As for the unhappiness part, idk if that’s true. Somalis are just not affectionate people in comparison to cadaans but that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. They just have a different way of showing it in a way we don’t understand.

Young people usually marry for the wrong reasons, especially in our community. Girls are marrying so they can get out of their parents house, but then they realise that they have more responbilites now that they’re married and want out. They don’t compromise and are too shallow. List goes on. Immature people who view marriage as some sort of boyfriend/girlfriend relationship shouldn’t get married.

I agree but what I meant about unhappy was that the men aren't providing even in situations when the woman is struggling, my eedos just pass it off and say that's Somali men for you. But I get what you are saying when it comes to the civil war and how it affected all the older generation.

Somali girls are really shallow as you say , well the ones that want 100k mehr and a big wedding but young Somali boys got their problems too, they are soo judgemental even tho some of them only fixed up a week ago, they are allowed to have HUGE expectations but the Somali girl is label as shallow if she wants him to have a decent job.

Also half of these young western guys always talking about wanting a second wife before they even have the first talk about delusional

 

[MariaMaria]

@MariaMaria there was a thread on Twitter recently where someone said the Tweet below...what do you think?

"Most don't marry the person they love(d) the most. They marry the person that is around when they are ready to marry".

that's very accurate in a lot of cases

this is why I don't let somali pressure ever get to me.

 

[heli]

education < career
my goals currently I can't tell the future
late 30s early 40s maybe .

 

[Nura]

I'm not worried about not being married right now but I am worried about my pickyness as well as my total inability to be open myself up for love bcs that's going to cause some trouble in the future for sure.

 

[GOVERNOR]

I swear every niggah on this post is bragging about how many es they fucked and how many females they've turned down.

Y'all trying real hard to impress these cyber Xalimos

Just imagine reality

"Asc walalo-"
"Niggah bye"

Same dude hops on the net and -well, you get half these folks here
Rejection is a human thing
Bragging about fucking mad es online certainly won't change reality

 

[one]

You said "I know this may sound extreme, but my opinion is that the main purpose why we're on this earth is to worship Allah. Everything else is should be secondary."
and I was just stating how worship isn't limited to only prayer and fasting. You can perform different types of ibadah without them being seen as being less important. Their importance may be prioritized by individuals but there are many forms of worship.


I assumed that you had normal libido and was just stating how marriage, working, or studying are all rewarded (it's not a must you do them just giving examples) and they don't have to be seen as a distraction or waste of time from your deen. They can all be ways to enhance your deen and service to the community. Looking at it from another perspective, the mothers that had high libido before marriage and wanted companionship, may feel that marriage allowed them to better focus on the deen instead of giving focus to their distracting desires that they couldn't do Islamically until the marriage.

If you feel that marriage isn't for you then it's fine especially if you're asexual. There's more than one way you can be of service to Allah and the community. Sorry if you felt offended.

I was just stating how worship isn't limited to only prayer and fasting. I never said anything about worshiping being limited to just "praying and fasting", though.

You're right. There are different types of ibadah and that all good activities count as a charity. But you forgot to mention the most important thing which is the intention. Your intention should be the basis for all your actions. In Allah's eyes the lowest worship in scale is removing obstacles like tree branches from people's way. You only get rewarded for your actions when you do it for the pleasure of Allah. Which is what I was getting at in my previous posts. I should have worded it better, sorry. A lot of people don't always get married for the pleasure of Allah.

Don't be sorry, lol I'm not offended. I just find it amusing how people like to quote the hadith "marriage is half your deen" so much. I wish people put the same energy in spreading these hadiths as well:

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.”

"Seek knowledge "even though it be in China."

"The acquisition of knowledge is compulsory for every Muslim, whether male or female."

"The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr."

"Seek knowledge from the cradle to the grave."

"God has revealed to me, 'Whoever walks in the pursuit of knowledge I facilitate for him the way to heaven.'

"The best form of worship is the pursuit of knowledge."

"Scholars should endeavor to spread knowledge and provide education to people who have been deprived of it. For, where knowledge is hidden it disappears."

Someone asked the Prophet : "Who is the biggest scholar?" He replied: "He who is constantly trying to learn from others, for a scholar is ever hungry for more knowledge."

"Seek knowledge and wisdom, or whatever the vessel from which it flows, you will never be the loser."

"Contemplating deeply for one hour (with sincerity) is better than 70 years of (mechanical) worship."

"To listen to the words of the learned and to instill unto others the lessons of science is better than religious exercises."

"Acquire knowledge: it enables its possessor to distinguish right from the wrong, it lights the way to heaven; it is our friend in the desert, our society in solitude, our companion when friendless - it guides us to happiness; it sustains us in misery; it is an ornament among friends and an armor against enemies."

 

[MariaMaria]

I swear every niggah on this post is bragging about how many es they fucked and how many females they've turned down.

Y'all trying real hard to impress these cyber Xalimos

Just imagine reality

"Asc walalo-"
"Niggah bye"

Same dude hops on the net and -well, you get half these folks here
Rejection is a human thing
Bragging about fucking mad es online certainly won't change reality

talking from experience ? :siilaanyolaugh:

 

[GOVERNOR]

talking from experience ? :siilaanyolaugh:

I wont take the bait

 

[MariaMaria]

I wont take the bait

excuse my pathetic attempt to keep this thread alive

 

[Hmmmm]

All my eedos and adeeros are either divorced or in unhappy marriages(including my parents) , a lot of my young adult cousins are married and seem happy mashallah but most north london Somalis I know that got married, have gotten divorced in the matter of months.

but I have realized I shouldn't base my view on marriage from other peoples experiences long ago

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N.london

 

[MariaMaria]

N.london

yes..

 

[Hmmmm]

I wonder why they divorce after couple of months, seems like a waste of time and money.

 

[MariaMaria]

I wonder why they divorce after couple of months, seems like a waste of time and money.

it really is

one couple decided to divorce because the guy asked the girl to vacuum but she said she did the dishes so it's only fair her did something

they had been married for 2 weeks

 

[MariaMaria]

I'm actively seeking my raaliya.

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can you not handle a strong and independent woman ?

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[Hmmmm]

it really is

one couple decided to divorce because the guy asked the girl to vacuum but she said she did the dishes so it's only fair her did something

they had been married for 2 weeks

Divorced over something little