28f Toronto Somali woman really struggling to make friends and find a husband

[Sahra780]

Hey!

Ramadan Mubarak everyone I hope you’re all having a good Ramadan and your last 10 days have been fruitful!
I just wanted some advice. I’ve been a loner and depressed from 18-24 and then Covid happened which made it really hard to keep any friends. Mentally I feel like I’m still in high school. I was wondering if you guys knew of any way to meet new Somali women in the city and make new friends? I don’t have ig or any social media apps.

I’ve also been searching for a husband on the apps for the last 4 years but it’s been very difficult. Most are either fobs or they don’t take me serious and it never goes anywhere

I also get no support from family since they thinks it’s ceeb to search for their daughters. I really don’t know what to do here as well since it’s not like it’s going to get any easier finding someone in my 30s.

I want to enjoy my youth a bit since I’ve lost most of it to being depressed. Any advice is welcome!

 

[Bari🐍]

Go to your local masjid and ask the Imam for help. Sometimes they have a list of names for people looking and help match.

 

[a_bilan]

If you want Somali friends, try joining or volunteering for a Somali community organization. I’m assuming Toronto has many of those.
try out some of those group activities in your city with strangers. Chances are they probably would be ajnabis, but a friend is a friend.

 

[niggaibnh]

Hey!

Ramadan Mubarak everyone I hope you’re all having a good Ramadan and your last 10 days have been fruitful!
I just wanted some advice. I’ve been a loner and depressed from 18-24 and then Covid happened which made it really hard to keep any friends. Mentally I feel like I’m still in high school. I was wondering if you guys knew of any way to meet new Somali women in the city and make new friends? I don’t have ig or any social media apps.

I’ve also been searching for a husband on the apps for the last 4 years but it’s been very difficult. Most are either fobs or they don’t take me serious and it never goes anywhere

I also get no support from family since they thinks it’s ceeb to search for their daughters. I really don’t know what to do here as well since it’s not like it’s going to get any easier finding someone in my 30s.

I want to enjoy my youth a bit since I’ve lost most of it to being depressed. Any advice is welcome!

I will make my dua for you to find Somali friends and husband tonight

 

[AbdiFreedom]

Probably better to reach out to your pre-pandemic friends than trying to make brand new ones at 28 when it gets harder to even maintain old ones. Try attending events and join clubs if you want to make new ones.

Also, if you were actively looking for a husband for 4 years and couldn't find one, your standards are too high or your depression is hiding your true personality to connect with people. Likely both.

 

[empressjamila]

To find friends you should download the app “bumble bff”, it may sound a bit strange to look for friends on an app but we just came out of a pandemic and people find their spouse on apps so what’s the difference really lol.

I downloaded the app during the pandemic and I’ve made a couple good friends from there in the past few years. One is Somali the other is Bengali. Most women are there are just regular women that are in a similar situation as you where they didn’t have many friends growing up and want to make more, or they’re new in the city and want to make new friends.

 

[empressjamila]

Also if you want to find a husband one of the best ways to meet potentials for marriage is through a friend. So I would focus on making friends first and then inshallah a husband will follow. Best of luck sis.

 

[Halimo-2018]

Go back to africa get your husband and then come back lol sorry there is a decent farax shortage unless you want an idiot . Bring him back make him work for you after he comes. Done. As for friends you’re better off without.

 

[mrlog]

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[Deekhow]

Go back to africa get your husband and then come back lol sorry there is a decent farax shortage unless you want an idiot . Bring him back make him work for you after he comes. Done. As for friends you’re better off without.

She stated fobs not in her list and you are sending her Africa?

 

[Ikranay]

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I couldn’t log into my account so I made a new one. Exactly how is it my fault that I was depressed?? You niggas is xaasid would it have been better that I offed myself at 24? Same group that will whine about how no one cares about them.

 

[Ikranay]

Probably better to reach out to your pre-pandemic friends than trying to make brand new ones at 28 when it gets harder to even maintain old ones. Try attending events and join clubs if you want to make new ones.

Also, if you were actively looking for a husband for 4 years and couldn't find one, your standards are too high or your depression is hiding your true personality to connect with people. Likely both.

I have like five things that I want. Somali, prays & fasts, is gainfully employed (no stupidness like entrepreneur/self employed they’re usually lying when they say this, and actually puts in effort when speaking to me, spent their formative years in the west and not fat. Even at my lowest I still made sure to be respectful and courteous in talking stages but this was very rarely reciprocated on these apps. I stayed in shape and take care of myself as well while I was depressed so I can’t see why it’s so hard to not be fat in your 20s/early 30s as a man. It seems like even this is too hard to find.

 

[Ikranay]

Go back to africa get your husband and then come back lol sorry there is a decent farax shortage unless you want an idiot . Bring him back make him work for you after he comes. Done. As for friends you’re better off without.

Sis idk if it’s just the apps but the ones here lack even basic decency and social skills. I’m always respectful and engaging and even the most average of them will move like bad b as if I’m supposed to chase them. Then they get upset when I rightfully end things.

back home is not really an option for me. Everyone who wanted to come to the west has already left and the rest don’t want to come to Canada they think it’s rafaad over here. They’re not wrong lol.

 

[Calaami]

Go back to africa get your husband and then come back lol sorry there is a decent farax shortage unless you want an idiot . Bring him back make him work for you after he comes. Done. As for friends you’re better off without.

I know people who’ve done this, it never worked. The reality is the Somali man from Somalia/Kenya isn’t used to a grueling 9-5 lifestyle and living in a society with rules. He will blow off learning English in favor of Tim Hortons FKD. He’ll never hold a job. Xalimo would end up better off with a gangiister than a fob.

 

[Ikranay]

I know people who’ve done this, it never worked. The reality is the Somali man from Somalia/Kenya isn’t used to a grueling 9-5 lifestyle and living in a society with rules. He will blow off learning English in favor of Tim Hortons FKD. He’ll never hold a job. Xalimo would end up better off with a gangiister than a fob.

You’re not even wrong. My uncle sponsored some of my cousins to the US and each of them squandered every opportunity he lined up for them. I’m talking scholarship opportunities, govt positions. Poor guy was so shocked and not to mention the stubbornness of some of these guys lol.

 

[SomaliSteel]

I live in Toronto lets meet up.

 

[Bari🐍]

Sis idk if it’s just the apps but the ones here lack even basic decency and social skills. I’m always respectful and engaging and even the most average of them will move like bad b as if I’m supposed to chase them. Then they get upset when I rightfully end things.

back home is not really an option for me. Everyone who wanted to come to the west has already left and the rest don’t want to come to Canada they think it’s rafaad over here. They’re not wrong lol.

This sounds odd. If anything it is much easier for a woman to get married since men are not too picky. Maybe you are approaching them in a weird way or you sound disinterested. Also there are still many men who want to come, look at the ones trekking through South America to get to the west.

 

[Ikranay]

This sounds odd. If anything it is much easier for a woman to get married since men are not too picky. Maybe you are approaching them in a weird way or you sound disinterested. Also there are still many men who want to come, look at the ones trekking through South America to get to the west.

Sorry I should say the pool of men back home I have access too. Majority do not want to come to Canada since they’ve heard terrible things about it.

 

[Ikranay]

This sounds odd. If anything it is much easier for a woman to get married since men are not too picky. Maybe you are approaching them in a weird way or you sound disinterested. Also there are still many men who want to come, look at the ones trekking through South America to get to the west.

No I’ve had some conversations where the guys give one word responses and no enthusiasm even over the phone. I’m generally a likeable person. They don’t bother asking me any questions and don’t put in any type of effort outside of “how’s your day”. People speak well about me at work and in the past so I know it’s not my personality. And I take care of myself so I know I’m not ugly.

I honestly disagree about women having it easier. Sure men have lower standards but that also means why they have a bigger pool to choose from which results in them not feeling like they have to put in much effort knowing that if this talking stage fails they’ll always be more women

 

[Omar del Sur]

I suggest you go to the masjid! I am sure there are many wonderful women there who would like to be your friend.