28f Toronto Somali woman really struggling to make friends and find a husband

[Sultanka Nabadda]

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[Ikranay]

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I honestly think it might make a come back in the west. It’s really bad here in Toronto and the worst part is it feels like no one even cares. You spend your whole life doing right by your parents/community and then when you need help they’ll pick tradition over your happiness. It sucks because how can a delinquent be able to fix up and easily get married someone he actually wants when you stayed away from haram and struggle so much to do so.

 

[Odious Delirium]

I honestly think it might make a come back in the west. It’s really bad here in Toronto and the worst part is it feels like no one even cares. You spend your whole life doing right by your parents/community and then when you need help they’ll pick tradition over your happiness. It sucks because how can a delinquent be able to fix up and easily get married someone he actually wants when you stayed away from haram and struggle so much to do so.

The masjid is your best bet and get the sisters you meet there to expand your pool for you I'm sure you'll meet better brothers in that setting and ignore whatever Mrlog has to say on all this. (The guy is more then a bit weird)

 

[Internet Nomad]

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This is a somali sister who needs help not a redpill podcast have some naxriis.

 

[Internet Nomad]

Hey!

Ramadan Mubarak everyone I hope you’re all having a good Ramadan and your last 10 days have been fruitful!
I just wanted some advice. I’ve been a loner and depressed from 18-24 and then Covid happened which made it really hard to keep any friends. Mentally I feel like I’m still in high school. I was wondering if you guys knew of any way to meet new Somali women in the city and make new friends? I don’t have ig or any social media apps.

I’ve also been searching for a husband on the apps for the last 4 years but it’s been very difficult. Most are either fobs or they don’t take me serious and it never goes anywhere

I also get no support from family since they thinks it’s ceeb to search for their daughters. I really don’t know what to do here as well since it’s not like it’s going to get any easier finding someone in my 30s.

I want to enjoy my youth a bit since I’ve lost most of it to being depressed. Any advice is welcome!

Sis I will pray for you. As someone who has crept out of the depressive hold after the pandemic years I can understand the struggles of trying to jump start a life that was on pause for a while.

The way people often make friends is meeting a person consistently at a certain place. School has made this prospect easy for us as we were all locked in a building for 6 hours a day. As a adult you could find friends in the mosque, local activities or even work.

 

[Keep it a boqol]

I honestly think it might make a come back in the west. It’s really bad here in Toronto and the worst part is it feels like no one even cares. You spend your whole life doing right by your parents/community and then when you need help they’ll pick tradition over your happiness. It sucks because how can a delinquent be able to fix up and easily get married someone he actually wants when you stayed away from haram and struggle so much to do so.

You should check out and seek from other cities. I know Toronto somali dudes got a bad rep. You can try the states or other parts of Canada. Many ppl are open to that

 

[Yaraye]

Sis idk if it’s just the apps but the ones here lack even basic decency and social skills. I’m always respectful and engaging and even the most average of them will move like bad b as if I’m supposed to chase them. Then they get upset when I rightfully end things.

back home is not really an option for me. Everyone who wanted to come to the west has already left and the rest don’t want to come to Canada they think it’s rafaad over here. They’re not wrong lol.

So, I'm not the only one that noticed this this gen of men (not all obviously ) sure act like women

 

[Waa dhamatay]

No I’ve had some conversations where the guys give one word responses and no enthusiasm even over the phone. I’m generally a likeable person. They don’t bother asking me any questions and don’t put in any type of effort outside of “how’s your day”. People speak well about me at work and in the past so I know it’s not my personality. And I take care of myself so I know I’m not ugly.

I honestly disagree about women having it easier. Sure men have lower standards but that also means why they have a bigger pool to choose from which results in them not feeling like they have to put in much effort knowing that if this talking stage fails they’ll always be more women

Men have lower standards because they have no choice (beggars can’t be choosers). It’s definitely way harder for men. Anyways just expand your social circle, keep on the lookout, read dua and you’ll easily find someone dw.

 

[mrlog]

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[Bari🐍]

I honestly think it might make a come back in the west. It’s really bad here in Toronto and the worst part is it feels like no one even cares. You spend your whole life doing right by your parents/community and then when you need help they’ll pick tradition over your happiness. It sucks because how can a delinquent be able to fix up and easily get married someone he actually wants when you stayed away from haram and struggle so much to do so.

Damn, I knew Somali women were struggling to get married but I didn't know it was this bad. I wonder what's the cause.

 

[scarecrow]

Hey!

Ramadan Mubarak everyone I hope you’re all having a good Ramadan and your last 10 days have been fruitful!
I just wanted some advice. I’ve been a loner and depressed from 18-24 and then Covid happened which made it really hard to keep any friends. Mentally I feel like I’m still in high school. I was wondering if you guys knew of any way to meet new Somali women in the city and make new friends? I don’t have ig or any social media apps.

I’ve also been searching for a husband on the apps for the last 4 years but it’s been very difficult. Most are either fobs or they don’t take me serious and it never goes anywhere

I also get no support from family since they thinks it’s ceeb to search for their daughters. I really don’t know what to do here as well since it’s not like it’s going to get any easier finding someone in my 30s.

I want to enjoy my youth a bit since I’ve lost most of it to being depressed. Any advice is welcome!

First of all don’t feel alone, there is a pandemic of loneliness in the west at the moment, many many people have no one to talk to ever. The number one killer is loneliness. People underestimate it and there’s a stigma around it, but it’s a real issue.

I resonate a lot with some of what you’ve said, mainly the depression and loneliness. Am a guy so it’s even harder to make friends I don’t have any at the moment but alhamdulila I am married with kids and occupy my time with my family mansha allah. As for depression eating healthy, excercise and prayer will cure you. Also pray tahajud and do lots of istaghfar..

As far as marriage goes, would you consider going to Somalia to find a spouse? hear me out, I know a young somali sister who found herself a very educated young brother who was born and bred in Somalia, she bought him over he catched up quick and now works in tech, you would never think he came here in his 20s.

Don’t think all guys in Somalia are beneath you, there are many good looking educated brothers.

don’t delay any more than you have to. I will pray for you sis!

 

[Ikranay]

The masjid is your best bet and get the sisters you meet there to expand your pool for you I'm sure you'll meet better brothers in that setting and ignore whatever Mrlog has to say on all this. (The guy is more then a bit weird)

Thank you walaal I wasn’t aware that he was like that.

First of all don’t feel alone, there is a pandemic of loneliness in the west at the moment, many many people have no one to talk to ever. The number one killer is loneliness. People underestimate it and there’s a stigma around it, but it’s a real issue.

I resonate a lot with some of what you’ve said, mainly the depression and loneliness. Am a guy so it’s even harder to make friends I don’t have any at the moment but alhamdulila I am married with kids and occupy my time with my family mansha allah. As for depression eating healthy, excercise and prayer will cure you. Also pray tahajud and do lots of istaghfar..

As far as marriage goes, would you consider going to Somalia to find a spouse? hear me out, I know a young somali sister who found herself a very educated young brother who was born and bred in Somalia, she bought him over he catched up quick and now works in tech, you would never think he came here in his 20s.

Don’t think all guys in Somalia are beneath you, there are many good looking educated brothers.

don’t delay any more than you have to. I will pray for you sis!

how does one go about doing this though. I feel like a man can go back and people will actually try to set him up with women I doubt they’d do it the other way around when they don’t even do that here.

 

[Basra]

Hey!

Ramadan Mubarak everyone I hope you’re all having a good Ramadan and your last 10 days have been fruitful!
I just wanted some advice. I’ve been a loner and depressed from 18-24 and then Covid happened which made it really hard to keep any friends. Mentally I feel like I’m still in high school. I was wondering if you guys knew of any way to meet new Somali women in the city and make new friends? I don’t have ig or any social media apps.

I’ve also been searching for a husband on the apps for the last 4 years but it’s been very difficult. Most are either fobs or they don’t take me serious and it never goes anywhere

I also get no support from family since they thinks it’s ceeb to search for their daughters. I really don’t know what to do here as well since it’s not like it’s going to get any easier finding someone in my 30s.

I want to enjoy my youth a bit since I’ve lost most of it to being depressed. Any advice is welcome!

My advice is become a nun Musliima

 

[iskufilann]

My advice is become a nun Musliima

Like you?

 

[Odious Delirium]

Thank you walaal I wasn’t aware that he was like that.

how does one go about doing this though. I feel like a man can go back and people will actually try to set him up with women I doubt they’d do it the other way around when they don’t even do that here.

You need to get in contact with sisters who can get your name around same thing with back home get connected and make friends with people like yourself and they will help if you ask them to set you up.

I'm confused tho. Over where I'm from I'm aware of girls who's mother's help them look for guys And there is nothing ceeb about getting help from parents. You should pressure them to help. Generally girls in the same situation as yourself or really sheltered/introverted have parental help

 

[Basra]

Like you?

 

[iskufilann]

So how are you doing Basra buuqley?

 

[Basra]

So how are you doing Basra buuqley?

Alhamdhulilaah walaal, i am okey. Looking forward for inshalaah a good summer. And YOU?

 

[iskufilann]

Alhamdhulilaah walaal, i am okey. Looking forward for inshalaah a good summer. And YOU?

I am gooood walaal. Same, cannot wait for Summer inshallah, can finally wear my summer clothes

 

[NordicSomali]

I want to know what YOU think is going to help solve your problems, speak honestly.