Xalimo divorced on wedding night after husband found out shes not a...

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Get the hell outta here no one gonna marry loose no hymened ass vagina if you claim to be virgin, expect consequences. Man will feel what he feels and divorce your ass.

How loose or tight a woman is mostly genetic sxb, it's the same as dick size. There a virgins you could fit a balling ball inside and absolute sharmutas who've been getting railed for over a decade who's vag is still in prestine condition

 

[TekNiKo]

You're discounting basic science. Some women hardly bleed and if you then accuse her something she didn't do, especially publicly then its going to be peak for you on the day of judgement wallahi. Don't let your emotions and arrogance cloud your mind.

You can merely divorce her quietly if the suspicions are too much..

Shes the one deceiving the man and lying about being a virgin and you tryna guilt trip the man? Are you serious? She should be exposed for wasting all the money time and resources it took to get to the wedding night. Let her feel the pain that Faarax felt when he was deceived.

 

[Angelina]

How loose or tight a woman is mostly genetic sxb, it's same as dick size. There a virgins you could fit a balling ball inside and absolute sharmutas who've been getting railed for over a decade who's vag is still in prestine condition

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[Karaboga]

1. Let me break it down for you TekNiKo and @Karaboga :

A. The only time you can accuse a fellow Muslim of zina is if they admit it, pregnancy or or if you have physically seen them in the act and they produce witnesses.

B. Not all women have hymens. Also, even women that have given birth are rarely wide as a well, so committing zina obviously doesn't do that as the vagina is a muscle. What makes the whole conversation worse is that a lot of men are ignorant about women's bodies.

C. Also, some men might and will. There are petty men who might have issues with their new bride that will easily take advantages of this, especially if their goal is to publicly humiliate her. There are even men that leak their wives nudes for the exact same goal and you think a small % would never do that?

D. Islam is a religion that protects the rights of both men and women. What rights would women even have if a man can easily ruin the rep of a woman and her family because she didn't bleed or because he personally feels she's too lose because she might not have even been born with a hymen in the first place. That is a witch hunt approach in which anyone can point the finger at each other.

Anyways you can read this fatwa. This topic isn't one you can debate as our religion is pretty clear cut when it comes to this:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/137912

https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/60235

Read it. Also, that doesn't mean if you feel you're certain you can't quietly divorce her. But screaming she isn't a virgin when you have not witnessed it first hand will open you up to sin. That is merely my point.

Similarly, If I had strong suspicions that my husband wasn't a virgin due to him telling me he had girlfriends, I will not be allowed to publicly say he committed zina even though it might be obvious because he has not explicitly said he has committed it. I too would be opening myself to a huge sin.

All in all, do your homework before marriage and hope for the best.

1. Let me break it down for you TekNiKo and @Karaboga :

A. The only time you can accuse a fellow Muslim of zina is if they admit it, pregnancy or or if you have physically seen them in the act and they produce witnesses.

B. Not all women have hymens. Also, even women that have given birth are rarely wide as a well, so committing zina obviously doesn't do that as the vagina is a muscle. What makes the whole conversation worse is that a lot of men are ignorant about women's bodies.

C. Also, some men might and will. There are petty men who might have issues with their new bride that will easily take advantages of this, especially if their goal is to publicly humiliate her. There are even men that leak their wives nudes for the exact same goal and you think a small % would never do that?

D. Islam is a religion that protects the rights of both men and women. What rights would women even have if a man can easily ruin the rep of a woman and her family because she didn't bleed or because he personally feels she's too lose because she might not have even been born with a hymen in the first place. That is a witch hunt approach in which anyone can point the finger at each other.

Anyways you can read this fatwa. This topic isn't one you can debate as our religion is pretty clear cut when it comes to this:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/137912

https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/60235

Read it. Also, that doesn't mean if you feel you're certain you can't quietly divorce her. But screaming she isn't a virgin when you have not witnessed it first hand will open you up to sin. That is merely my point.

Similarly, If I had strong suspicions that my husband wasn't a virgin due to him telling me he had girlfriends, I will not be allowed to publicly say he committed zina even though it might be obvious because he has not explicitly said he has committed it. I too would be opening myself to a huge sin.

All in all, do your homework before marriage and hope for the best.

Sister you misunderstood me am talking about the situation when she has committed zina and is purposely deceiving her potential spouse. If the guy makes it a condition to marry a virgin and she claims she is then that's deception.

 

[Angelina]

Shes the one deceiving the man and lying about being a virgin and you tryna guilt trip the man? Are you serious? She should be exposed for wasting all the money time and resources it took to get to the wedding night. Let her feel the pain that Faarax felt when he was deceived.

Sometimes I feel like you don't read or try to understand anything. TekNiKo sahib take your meds.

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Sister you misunderstood me am talking about the situation when she has committed zina and is purposely deceiving her potential spouse. If the guy makes it a condition to marry a virgin and she claims she is then that's deception.

You've not understood me. Deceiving someone is terrible. But my whole point is, if she doesn't admit it and past people have not come forward. What real proof would he have?

If the suspicions are high and you think she's lying, do what you please, divorce her if you want. Such a marriage is unhealthy. But what right would you have to 'expose' her? That is a major sin as Islam is very clearcut about accusing someone of zina. You can only publicly accuse someone of zina if you have clear proof. That is my point. Our religion doesn't operate on emotionally driven witch hunts that can cause major conflicts and devastations in society.

Also, in the video the host made a good point I didn't even think about. What if the girl was raped but was too traumatized to tell anyone? Apparently such a thing might be common back home sadly because of the war. There is so many layers when it comes to this topic.

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

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Tight narn or a hymen aren't indicators of virginity. Her behaviour, sexual confidence and her ability to pair-bond are way better indicators. Some guys just get wrapped up in the physical aspect due to a lack of knowledge/experience.

Public shaming serves a purpose tbh. We're not the only people with a ceeb culture. It's unislamic but I personally think both men and women should be outted in situations like the one OP described. The husband wouldn't get in trouble, espeacially if he's back home. If anything he'll be appualed lol.

 

[Karaboga]

Sometimes I feel like you don't read or try to understand anything. TekNiKo sahib take your meds.

Spoiler: Think logically

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You've not understood me. Deceiving someone is terrible. But my whole point is, if she doesn't admit it and past people have not come forward. What real proof would he have?

If the suspicions are high and you think she's lying, do what you please, divorce her if you want. Such a marriage is unhealthy. But what right would you have to 'expose' her? That is a major sin as Islam is very clearcut about accusing someone of zina. You can only publicly accuse someone of zina if you have clear proof. That is my point. Our religion doesn't operate on emotionally driven witch hunts that can cause major conflicts and devastations in society.

I agree with you that accusing a chaste woman of zina is one the greatest crimes in Islam. It doesn't give the woman a free pass to lie about being a virgin.

 

[Angelina]

Tight narn or a hymen aren't indicators of virginity. Her behaviour, sexual confidence and her ability to pair-bond are way better indicators. Some guys just get wrapped up in the physical aspect due to a lack of knowledge/experience.

Public shaming serves a purpose tbh. We're not the only people with a ceeb culture and I personally think both men and women should be outted in the situation OP described. I don't think the husband would get in trouble, espeacially if he's back home. If anything he'll be appualed lol.

Its haram for you to shame someone without proof though. That serves to protect people's honor including families. Imagine your sis didn't do anything but was married to a douche who then started screaming she's a hoe and that he deserves his mahr back? That would not only mess your sis up but also your fam. Their rep, there everything. Wallahi such a thing is disgusting and lets be real, public shaming is only for women. You've admitted time and time again about your past and you only do this because no one will shame you. The whole everyone needs to be shamed is idealised talk. Women are getting acid attacks for things they didn't even do in some cultures. Its a mad world

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

Its haram for you to shame someone without proof though. That serves to protect people's honor including families. Imagine your sis didn't do anything but was married to a douche who then started screaming she's a *** and that he deserves his mahr back? That would not only mess your sis up but also your fam. Their rep, there everything. Wallahi such a thing is disgusting and lets be real, public shaming is only for women. You've admitted time and time again about your past and you only do this because no one will shame you.

It depends on if he had proof, but let's be real, the only way to get proof would be if she actually told him. If he's making the accusations without proof then, yes you're right, that's pretty fucked up.

I wouldn't care if they shamed me for it, I'd welcome it wallahi. If I didn't want to be shamed, I wouldn't have done shameful shit in the first place. If anything WISH I was publically shamed when I was doing that qashin shit, it would've saved me from a lot sinful shit

 

[Angelina]

It depends on if he had proof, but let's be real, the only proof would be if she actually told him. If he's making the accusations without proof then, yes you're right, that's pretty fucked up.

I wouldn't care if they shamed me for it, I'd welcome it wallahi. If I didn't want to be shamed, I wouldn't have done shameful shit in the first place. If anything WISH I was publically shamed when I was doing that qashin shit, it would've saved me from a lot sinful shit

You can only say that because you're a man and our culture isn't that particularly messed up. For many women, public shaming means acid attacks, honor killings, loss of honor and reputation of family even though the family did nothing and the list goes on. If that is the shaming you had to deal with, then you probably wouldn't be saying what you're saying Its very easy for you to say this, but the reality is bleak.

Nothing in the deen states this is an acceptable ways to go about it, its culture that takes things too far. There is a reason why you need 4 witnesses to prove zina because its so easy for people to fall into extremes. All in all, humans are messed up hypocrites who love to point the finger at each other.

 

[SuldaanCabdicaziz]

Men lie too and the reverse situation can occur.

Seems defensive to be dropping this so early in the thread...

 

[SuldaanCabdicaziz]

You can only say that because you're a man and our culture isn't that particularly messed up. For many women, public shaming means acid attacks, honor killings, loss of honor and reputation of family even though they did nothing and the list goes on. If that is the shaming you had to deal with, then you probably wouldn't. Its very easy for you to say this, but the reality is bleak.

Nothing in the deen states this is an acceptable ways to go about it, its culture that takes things too far. There is a reason why you need 4 witnesses to prove zina because its so easy for people to fall into extremes. All in all, humans are messed up hypocrites.

You're right Somalis are probably the most liberal Muslims when it comes to this for boys and girls. At worst they will be shunned by immediate family for a period of time, then forgiven. Seen it happen a million times. Yes, they are more likely to brush it off if a man does it but I've still never heard of a Somali woman being a victim of acid attacks.

We need to be stricter.

 

[Hassan2000]

Its haram for you to shame someone without proof though. That serves to protect people's honor including families. Imagine your sis didn't do anything but was married to a douche who then started screaming she's a *** and that he deserves his mahr back? That would not only mess your sis up but also your fam. Their rep, there everything. Wallahi such a thing is disgusting and lets be real, public shaming is only for women. You've admitted time and time again about your past and you only do this because no one will shame you. The whole everyone needs to be shamed is idealised talk. Women are getting acid attacks for things they didn't even do in some cultures. Its a mad world

Man stop crying , so what if women get shamed for being loose more than men so what? Men and women aren't the same men get shamed for other things more than women, like their wealth. You need get the concept out of your head that the world is fair according to your standards. It isn't.

 

[Periplus]

any experienced man can tell.

How will a man that hasn’t had sex before marriage be experienced?

Or are you insinuating that men who have had pre-marital sex can tell a virgin from someone who isn’t?

If that’s the case then you’re being hypocritical as you’re cool with men having sex before marriage and not women.

 

[TekNiKo]

How will a man that hasn’t had sex before marriage be experienced?

Or are you insinuating that men who have had pre-marital sex can tell a virgin from someone who isn’t?

If that’s the case then you’re being hypocritical as you’re cool with men having sex before marriage and not women.

No, previously married man in this case. Zina is reprehensible.

 

[Periplus]

No, previously married man in this case. Zina is reprehensible.

Aight bet.

That’s cool, just checking.

 

[TekNiKo]

Sometimes I feel like you don't read or try to understand anything. TekNiKo sahib take your meds.

Spoiler: Think logically

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You've not understood me. Deceiving someone is terrible. But my whole point is, if she doesn't admit it and past people have not come forward. What real proof would he have?

If the suspicions are high and you think she's lying, do what you please, divorce her if you want. Such a marriage is unhealthy. But what right would you have to 'expose' her? That is a major sin as Islam is very clearcut about accusing someone of zina. You can only publicly accuse someone of zina if you have clear proof. That is my point. Our religion doesn't operate on emotionally driven witch hunts that can cause major conflicts and devastations in society.

Also, in the video the host made a good point I didn't even think about. What if the girl was raped but was too traumatized to tell anyone? Apparently such a thing might be common back home sadly because of the war. There is so many layers when it comes to this topic.

She should inform the husband that she was raped prior to consummation of the marriage. I would accept her one hundred percent and sympathize her and would never expose. But after wedding night its very bad and can make one doubt her “rape” claim and will sound like a convenient excuse.

 

[TekNiKo]

Man stop crying , so what if women get shamed for being loose more than men so what? Men and women aren't the same men get shamed for other things more than women, like their wealth. You need get the concept out of your head that the world is fair according to your standards. It isn't.

Exactly its a man world she needs to understand that having your supposed “virgin wife” plowed to oblivion before your wedding night can be extremely tramautic for the husband. Imagine the time and effort and investment he put into getting her married only for his reward to be a gaping ceel.

that deserves public shaming imo

 

[Angelina]

Man stop crying , so what if women get shamed for being loose more than men so what? Men and women aren't the same men get shamed for other things more than women, like their wealth. You need get the concept out of your head that the world is fair according to your standards. It isn't.

In Islam, zina is haram for both. Stop waffling. Religious priniciples are what matter, not your backward culture.


Also, men are hardly shamed for anything tbh and you know this. Even being financial brokeness isn't shamed in the Somali community as we see benefit Abdis marrying multiple women with no shame. So how are men shamed? In what capacity?

 

[Periplus]

Man stop crying , so what if women get shamed for being loose more than men so what? Men and women aren't the same men get shamed for other things more than women, like their wealth. You need get the concept out of your head that the world is fair according to your standards. It isn't.

Islam doesn’t say “shame the loose woman but high fiveth the man that doth do the same”.

Or maybe I didn’t pick up the incel update.