Worst marriage meetings

[HalimaJ]

No i became more curious cause she used to say wild thing. Then i realized she had split personality. It was so weird. She told me her birthday was august, she was a labour voter and was 25. Basic stuff right. 3 weeks later im like your birthday is soon...she said its april. Then we speak politucs ine day and she tells me she always vote conservative. Then later on she is 28. I was like but you said this and that and she said i never said those things. She made it sound like i just invented sh1t....like why am i gonna invent your age and birthday. Wallahi there was several more things like that. I started to think im dealing with 2 people.

Wow, she sounds bipolar.

 

[Nin-culus]

No i became more curious cause she used to say wild thing. Then i realized she had split personality. It was so weird. She told me her birthday was august, she was a labour voter and was 25. Basic stuff right. 3 weeks later im like your birthday is soon...she said its april. Then we speak politucs ine day and she tells me she always vote conservative. Then later on she is 28. I was like but you said this and that and she said i never said those things. She made it sound like i just invented sh1t....like why am i gonna invent your age and birthday. Wallahi there was several more things like that. I started to think im dealing with 2 people.

I came across a chick like that too they’re a dime a dozen on muzmatch bloody weirdos mate

 

[AussieHustler]

Then you divorce. You cant win if you dont play the game. Since none of us know the future its pointless worrying about how you will feel in few years time. Just worry about it now. Last xalimo i spoke with told me raising the child is the mans responsibility and if we got married and divorced i would leave them with you and start over somewhere else. I told her i have never heard of a woman willingly leaving her children. She said she would lol. Weird people out there



There is no time limit you need to know a person for it to work. So dating for years aint improving your chances

@Jaydaan

What makes you an authority on the issue? Not one shoe fits all.

 

[Aaegal]

The idea that you will meet someone online or face to face for short periods and after few months, you will tie the knot with that person freaks me out. Well, different strokes for different people.

3 years is the minimum time you should spend with someone before you marry. I could never marry someone I've never had sex with before either. What if you spend all that time getting to know each other and you're sexually compatible? No thanks.

 

[Jaydaan]

@Jaydaan

What makes you an authority on the issue? Not one shoe fits all.

Do you date to marry or date to date? If a person dates to marry they are not gonna waste years on someone. There has been a certain way mankind has married across the for for almost since marriage came about. And thats quickly after talking short period of time. Its only very recently the west has come up with years if bf/gf nonsense.

 

[Jaydaan]

I came across a chick like that too they’re a dime a dozen on muzmatch bloody weirdos mate

I want to contact nhs and the epidemic mental illness of xalimos. No one in our community want to address this matter

 

[Aaegal]

There is no time limit you need to know a person for it to work. So dating for years aint improving your chances

Time allows you to suss a persons out. How are you going to marry someone without knowing them.

A couple of months into marriage you could find she is terrible with money, insane, or you have diametrically opposed views on key aspects of life.

No point in wasting money on a wedding or energy going through the embarrassment of divorce because you didn't allow time for the relationship to flourish.

 

[Jaydaan]

Time allows you to suss a persons out. How are you going to marry someone without knowing them.

A couple of months into marriage you could find she is terrible with money, insane, or you have diametrically opposed views on key aspects of life.

No point in wasting money on a wedding or energy going through the embarrassment of divorce because you didn't allow time for the relationship to flourish.

But thats where the intense talking come from. I mean if you guys are just flirting and complimenting each other then you wasting time. But people who are serious talk about these issues and you expect honesty. If my goal is to hide something from you. Then we can date for 2 years and you wont know

 

[Aaegal]

But thats where the intense talking come from. I mean if you guys are just flirting and complimenting each other then you wasting time. But people who are serious talk about these issues and you expect honesty. If my goal is to hide something from you. Then we can date for 2 years and you wont know

How long would you date someone before marrying them?

Some people don't show their true colors for a while. Once you start getting really comfortable around someone, you let your guard down and things start to show. Some relax a lot faster than others.

Personally I wouldn't get married to anyone without knowing them for 3 years at the least. Some can get away with 1 year minimum, but I honestly don't see that working out too well unless you're lucky and found the right person.

 

[HalimaJ]

But thats where the intense talking come from. I mean if you guys are just flirting and complimenting each other then you wasting time. But people who are serious talk about these issues and you expect honesty. If my goal is to hide something from you. Then we can date for 2 years and you wont know

Yep when I am getting to know a guy, we have serious conversations about our views on certain issues such as money, raising kids, deen, role within marriage ect.

When I date a guy, i don't just date for the sake of dating, therefore we need to make sure we are compatible. We discuss topics in a frank manner.

 

[HalimaJ]

How long would you date someone before marrying them?

Some people don't show their true colors for a while. Once you start getting really comfortable around someone, you let your guard down and things start to show. Some relax a lot faster than others.

Personally I wouldn't get married to anyone without knowing them for 3 years at the least. Some can get away with 1 year minimum, but I honestly don't see that working out too well unless you're lucky and found the right person.

Its all about asking the relevant questions and looking out for important things.

You can know someone for 3 yrs but if you are not asking important questions or your both not honest with each other, certain things you will never know. At the end of the day marriage will always be a gamble, unless you cohabit or go away with this person on holiday ect, however as Muslims that option is not available as it is haraam.

 

[Jaydaan]

How long would you date someone before marrying them?

Some people don't show their true colors for a while. Once you start getting really comfortable around someone, you let your guard down and things start to show. Some relax a lot faster than others.

Personally I wouldn't get married to anyone without knowing them for 3 years at the least. Some can get away with 1 year minimum, but I honestly don't see that working out too well unless you're lucky and found the right person.

I met a girl last april and told her i wont be ready until next summer. She said she couldnt wait and she had plenty of offers. She said by end of 2018 i will be married. She isnt married yet.

Personally 6-9 months. But all that time im still talking and studying the person. And you can always back off during that time. My goal god willing is 2020 summer

 

[Jaydaan]

Its all about asking the relevant questions and looking out for important things.

You can know someone for 3 yrs but if you are not asking important questions or your both not honest with each other, certain things you will never know. At the end of the day marriage will always be a gamble, unless you cohabit or go away with this person on holiday ect, however as Muslims that option is not available as it is haraam.

Thats how its supposed to be. People dont actually have serious talks it seems

 

[Aaegal]

Its all about asking the relevant questions and looking out for important things.

You can know someone for 3 yrs but if you are not asking important questions or your both not honest with each other, certain things you will never know. At the end of the day marriage will always be a gamble, unless you cohabit or go away with this person on holiday ect, however as Muslims that option is not available as it is haraam.

You can ask all the questions you want, but you'll never know them well enough until you start living together, having sex, and getting comfortable around each other. For you to truly experience that, you have to get married first, so yes it's a gamble. Fortunately divorce is an option for Muslims unlike Catholics.

This is just anecdotal but I have noticed a lot of Somali people getting divorced after <1-3 of marriage. Hell my cousin only last 6 months before she got divorced.

 

[HalimaJ]

I met a girl last april and told her i wont be ready until next summer. She said she couldnt wait and she had plenty of offers. She said by end of 2018 i will be married. She isnt married yet.

Personally 6-9 months. But all that time im still talking and studying the person. And you can always back off during that time. My goal god willing is 2020 summer

That is insane. So she wanted to get married in 6 months? Why are people rushing.

 

[Jaydaan]

That is insane. So she wanted to get married in 6 months? Why are people rushing.

Peer pressure......she also said i can get married next week if i want. I have plenty of offers lol. I told her the whole thing is like a game for you. The ease she was talking about marriage scared me

 

[AussieHustler]

@Aaegal

I met a Somali girl at Uni and we just had a normal conversation on the grass listening to a band playing at lunchtime. We went our own separate ways with see you around and no digits exchanged. I had no clue who she was because I never met her and nor her family. An hour later, my mum called asking me how long we knew each other and if we made plans for marriage. I thought it was a prank by friends, but man it was serious and thereafter, I gave Halimas a massive distance. A female friend here once told me, many Somali girls want to get out the home tyranny of their parents ASAP. Marriage at all costs.

 

[Jaydaan]

You can ask all the questions you want, but you'll never know them well enough until you start living together, having sex, and getting comfortable around each other. For you to truly experience that, you have to get married first, so yes it's a gamble. Fortunately divorce is an option for Muslims unlike Catholics.

This is just anecdotal but I have noticed a lot of Somali people getting divorced after <1-3 of marriage. Hell my cousin only last 6 months before she got divorced.

Living together and having sex wont change anything. Most people will as soon as they face challenge. Gaalo has same divorce rate. What keep their marriage little bit longer is the legal tangles they face when splitting. 2 broke somalis can just bounce without any lawyers or legal issues. Also somalis will divorce rather than stay and have long term affair while staying with someone they dont love. The amount of brits i worked with who has affairs is shocking

 

[HalimaJ]

@Aaegal

I met a Somali girl at Uni and we just had a normal conversation on the grass listening to a band playing at lunchtime. We went our own separate ways with see you around and no digits exchanged. I had no clue who she was because I never met her and nor her family. An hour later, my mum called asking me how long we knew each other and if we made plans for marriage. I thought it was a prank by friends, but man it was serious and thereafter, I gave Halimas a massive distance. A female friend here once told me, many Somali girls want to get out the home tyranny of their parents ASAP. Marriage at all costs.

That story is wild and embarrassing.

Knowing how older Somali women are like, i can imagine the girl probably just told her mum that she just met a guy she likes the look of and the mum twisted it and told the whole neighbourhood.

But the last part of your paragraph, let me expand on that. In many cases its not even the tyranny, its the social pressure girls get from family and friends. A girl can be from an amazing family and genuinely enjoy just being with her family, but older female relatives will make girls feel bad about being single and try to rush them into marriage.

 

[AussieHustler]

@HalimaJ

Sis, I get it what you are saying, but here is the thread I quoted above.

@AussieHustler i will give you the real reason why so many Somalis from Europe get divorced.

Most of these Somalis get married so they can move out of hoyoos house. Once that’s done they see no reason to continue the masquerade.

I can confirm this is true for a lot of girls, at least. I’m guilty of thinking this at some point myself.

(sorry @VixR

Hunno I know two xalimos who did exactly what you described. Their family wouldn’t let them move out unless they lose their virginity the halal way. Once divorced they know no one gives a damn about what she does with her vagina. I’m not one of those xalimos. Relax.

Check the whole thread.

https://www.somalispot.com/threads/a-question-about-divorce.50157/​