A Question About Divorce!!!!

[AussieHustler]

Divorce is easy and common and since, we are a very stubborn people and once we get angry simple issues can lead to a divorce. I know no research has been done on this issue, but so far, anecdotal evidence will suffice and let me ask you this question.

Is divorce more common among individuals and couples raised in a single parenthood?

 

[Snake]

No. There's no reason that suggests this is the case. In fact, I think divorce rates will be less likely among individuals raised in a single parent household. This is because poverty rates and single parent households are interlinked side by side, and marriage brings forth economic provision and stability to the family hence there is no reason to divorce, unless it'd be for personal reasons.

 

[AussieHustler]

No. There's no reason that suggests this is the case. In fact, I think divorce rates will be less likely among individuals raised in a single parent household. This is because poverty rates and single parent households are interlinked side by side, and marriage brings forth economic provision and stability to the family hence there is no reason to divorce, unless it'd be for personal reasons.

snake

Sxb, conceptually, that’s a valid point, but is that what you see on the ground? I’ve seen both sides of the coin here, but the (individuals and couples) from single parenthoods seem to outnumber the others.

 

[Zahra]

Divorce is easy and common and since, we are a very stubborn people and once we get angry simple issues can lead to a divorce. I know no research has been done on this issue, but so far, anecdotal evidence will suffice and let me ask you this question.

Is divorce more common among individuals and couples raised in a single parenthood?

Divorce isn't easy but divorce can stem from many reasons. Whether you come from parents who were together for forever or you come from a broken home. It's how you handle marriage that determines whether you'll have a lasting marriage or it will end short.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

I honestly use to think people raised with single parents desired to have long lasting marriages and didn’t even try to consider a divorce.

But we live in an age where the divorce rate in America is 50% so I have no clue.

 

[Basra]

Yes. As an experience, seasoned adult, i can categorically tell u WE ALL do what our parents did. If u r a child of divorced parents, u will grow up as a divorce parent. If u grew up in a widowhood home, chances are you will be more comfortable being single than married. Or easily divorced than work on your marriage. Parents examples matters alot.

 

[XawoTako]

Divorce isn't easy but divorce can stem from many reasons. Whether you come from parents who were together for forever or you come from a broken home. It's how you handle marriage that determines whether you'll have a lasting marriage or it will end short.

Well said I agree

 

[VixR]

Anecdotally, it hasn’t mattered from the little I can add, but I think the folks from our parents’ generation are a skewed sample set to begin with, bc of the chaos the war had on family structures, and bc themarriage styles in the Somalia weren’t typically cohesive in the sense that it a was a “village raising the child” model and ppl having multiple marriages (polygamy) , and divorce was commonplace there too, though it didn’t have the same effect on the children as it does here.

For example, my parents stayed together in their case and have a lasting marriage, but there were failed marriages (more than 1 in my father’s case) before they worked, and we have step siblings.

 

[AussieHustler]

Divorce isn't easy but divorce can stem from many reasons. Whether you come from parents who were together for forever or you come from a broken home. It's how you handle marriage that determines whether you'll have a lasting marriage or it will end short.

Sahra

Preach sister, for us. Somalis, divorce became the norm. We barely know one another before the marriage. When the going gets tough, he’s carrying his suitcase on his way to his mum’s place. It turns into families feuding and reconciliation becomes impossible. Very little sacrifice.

 

[Muji]

@AussieHustler i will give you the real reason why so many Somalis from Europe get divorced.

Most of these Somalis get married so they can move out of hoyoos house. Once that’s done they see no reason to continue the masquerade.

 

[VixR]

@AussieHustler i will give you the real reason why so many Somalis from Europe get divorced.

Most of these Somalis get married so they can move out of hoyoos house. Once that’s done they see no reason to continue the masquerade.

I can confirm this is true for a lot of girls, at least. I’m guilty of thinking this at some point myself.

 

[AussieHustler]

@AussieHustler i will give you the real reason why so many Somalis from Europe get divorced.

Most of these Somalis get married so they can move out of hoyoos house. Once that’s done they see no reason to continue the masquerade.

Knowles

Half of my mates (a dozen) who married at a very young age are now divorced. The majority are reasonable and logical guys and theorise their dilemma to be the result of lack of knowledge of one another’s expectations which has led to the breakdown of communications and their marriages. About two of them put the blame totally on their ex’s shoulders and formed an extreme theory that Somali women marry just to become garoobs because they will have a fully furnished place to their own and since they are no longer virgins, they start the “real” dating game. I don’t know if you subscribe to that notion with your “moving out from mum’s home” quote, or some other interpretation.

 

[Muji]

Knowles

Half of my mates (a dozen) who married at a very young age are now divorced. The majority are reasonable and logical guys and theorise their dilemma to be the result of lack of knowledge of one another’s expectations which has led to the breakdown of communications and their marriages. About two of them put the blame totally on their ex’s shoulders and formed an extreme theory that Somali women marry just to become garoobs because they will have a fully furnished place to their own and since they are no longer virgins, they start the “real” dating game. I don’t know if you subscribe to that notion with your “moving out from mum’s home” quote, or some other interpretation.

Hunno I know two xalimos who did exactly what you described. Their family wouldn’t let them move out unless they lose their virginity the halal way. Once divorced they know no one gives a damn about what she does with her vagina. I’m not one of those xalimos. Relax.

 

[garad gacmadheere]

if she becomes balaq balaq then it's talaq

 

[AussieHustler]

Hunno I know two xalimos who did exactly what you described. Their family wouldn’t let them move out unless they lose their virginity the halal way. Once divorced they know no one gives a damn about what she does with her vagina. I’m not one of those xalimos. Relax.

Knowles

I didn’t say you are one of them and never hinted it. Relax sugar pie.

That’s scary. I feel sorry for their blokes.

VixR

What changed your mind?

 

[Gooney112]

Knowles

Half of my mates (a dozen) who married at a very young age are now divorced. The majority are reasonable and logical guys and theorise their dilemma to be the result of lack of knowledge of one another’s expectations which has led to the breakdown of communications and their marriages. About two of them put the blame totally on their ex’s shoulders and formed an extreme theory that Somali women marry just to become garoobs because they will have a fully furnished place to their own and since they are no longer virgins, they start the “real” dating game. I don’t know if you subscribe to that notion with your “moving out from mum’s home” quote, or some other interpretation.

Aussie

Its not extreme view. I seen this first hand and poor guy get shafted. A lot of somali guys suck at reading girls and fall for bit of sweet talk and giggle. I wouldnt marry a girl under 25 for this reason. I also wouldnt marry a girl who never alone and seen life first hand. A lot of these kids live with their parents and have no clue about life

 

[AussieHustler]

Aussie

Its not extreme view. I seen this first hand and poor guy get shafted. A lot of somali guys suck at reading girls and fall for bit of sweet talk and giggle. I wouldnt marry a girl under 25 for this reason. I also wouldnt marry a girl who never alone and seen life first hand. A lot of these kids live with their parents and have no clue about life

Gooney

Thanks Sxb, I never thought this to be the case. I believe you guys and believe me, I would’ve done anything to move out the family home, but never to use marriage as an exit plan. This is a massive exploitation of another human being. One more reason not to get married. Thanks to you, Knowles and VixR for enlightening me on this issue.

 

[Emily]

well according to some studies if you came from a single parent home you are more likely to end up divorced but then again there always exceptions.

My parents just celebrated their 27th anniversary
I asked them what made their marriage last so long and they said ‘communication, mutual respect, and kindness.

 

[VixR]

Knowles

I didn’t say you are one of them and never hinted it. Relax sugar pie.

That’s scary. I feel sorry for these blokes.

VixR

What changed your mind?

For a lot of girls, it’s the only way out
from under their parents’ roof, so they take it as a welcome exit strategy.

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[Muji]

I can confirm this is true for a lot of girls, at least. I’m guilty of thinking this at some point myself.

I know a xalimo who divorced after three months for this reason. She thought the wedding was long enough to be convincing that it was out of love but she absolutely hates the guy.

The second one, married and even had a kid (although accidentally) she admitted to me that she first got married to get out of the house but painfully regretted it once she moved in with him. For some of these xalimos it’s out of the pan and in to the fire when they go from their family home to an equally controlling husband. Hence why divorce leads to freedom from both without being disowned by the parents.