Why do some Somalis have low standards?

[Mercury]

I noticed this with Arab guys as well the low standards they set for themselves and justify it with their gender

“That's just the way guys are" "Guys are visual creatures"
"Boys will be boys"



Let me explain what I mean with low standards

What I mean by low standards is not having better expectations for your behavior and character

For instance problematic behavior like being a pervert is seen as okay

Because "guys simply can't help themselves" such as staring at women too long that it ends up making her uncomfortable, saying degrading things about women, seeing women as sexual objects, etc

 

[Striker]

I have no idea what you are talking about

 

[Mercury]

I have no idea what you are talking about

Than why did qashin rate me

 

[Abdurahman_somali]

War Yaa ilaahi yaqaan...Bro you have serious issues with somali man not even the most feminist xaaliimos go as far as you.

 

[halwa]

I agree with you. It is because parents, especially mothers never point out what they do wrong.

It is always , ‘iska daa, waa wiil’. And that has brainwashed the boys to never see any faults with their doings.

I have one brother and he gets away with everything.

 

[Libaaxseendheer]

I noticed this with Arab guys as well the low standards they set for themselves and justify it with their gender

“That's just the way guys are" "Guys are visual creatures"
"Boys will be boys"



Let me explain what I mean with low standards

What I mean by low standards is not having better expectations for your behavior and character

For instance problematic behavior like being a pervert is seen as okay

Because "guys simply can't help themselves" such as staring at women too long that it ends up making her uncomfortable, saying degrading things about women, seeing women as sexual objects, etc

I have no idea where you got that from.

 

[halwa]

War Yaa ilaahi yaqaan...Bro you have serious issues with somali man not even the most feminist xaaliimos go as far as you.

He’s our advocate.

And the only sane man in this forum.

 

[Cauli]

 

[Mercury]

War Yaa ilaahi yaqaan...Bro you have serious issues with somali man not even the most feminist xaaliimos go as far as you.

I’m talking about behavior just cause you’re a guy you can’t excuse certain behavior with “boys will be boys”


For example If a boy or girl commits zina 9 out 10 times the girl will face the most backlash from the Somali community “maxa ku geyaay”etc

 

[Cauli]

He’s our advocate.

And the only sane man in this forum.

@Mercury is the kind of guy who is very polite and says the right things... But he is also the kind of guy who would shoot up an entire school because he got fired from his job or hijack an airplane because someone told him: Nobody loves you.

Be careful from his type. It takes just one trigger and your life is over. I could never be friends with someone like @Mercury

Wallahi I'd be scare for my life.

 

[Abdurahman_somali]

I’m talking about behavior just cause you’re a guy you can’t excuse certain behavior with “boys will be boys”


For example If a boy or girl commits zina 9 out 10 times the girl will face the most backlash from the Somali community “maxa ku geyaay”etc

Mercury saaxib i ask you a question to check your testosterone. Imagine your daughter get's Shag*ed by a guy and your son sha*gs girl....which of to scenarios is the worse for you ? (I know both is zina and the same sin)

 

[halwa]

@Mercury is the kind of guy who is very polite and says the right things... But he is also the kind of guy who would shoot up an entire school because he got fired from his job or hijack an airplane because someone told him: Nobody loves you.

Be careful from his type. It takes just one trigger and your life is over. I could never be friends with someone like @Mercury

Wallahi I'd be scare for my life.

You people gang up on him because deep down you all know he’s telling the truth.

I just happen to agree with the things he says.

 

[Nuur Iidaan]

What you described isn't just a "Somali man" thing, but an all guys thing.

Do we have a staring issue in our community, HELL YH. However women aren't the only ones affected by this, so are the men.

Imagine having a Faarax/Xaliimo you don't know stare at you on the street like this:



Shit is traumatising. The stare is mostly emotionless, and they're always mouth breathing.


What Somali community do you live in? How is problematic behaviour of a pervert seen as normal? Why are trying to tarnish our rep and make us seem like we're villains?

 

[4head]

If the guy is attractive, even if he starts being "creepy", girls will have a positive opion of him. It's mainly being attractive/ugly.
It's a harsh truth tbh, creepy guys = ugly guys.

 

[Mercury]

Mercury saaxib i ask you a question to check your testosterone. Imagine your daughter get's Shag*ed by a guy and your son sha*gs girl....which of to scenarios is the worse for you ? (I know both is zina and the same sin)

I wouldn’t tolerate a son that sleeps around neither a girl

 

[psyche]

Nice thread @Mercury, but I think you are approaching this in the wrong way.

Rather than calling out Somali males, why don't you discuss the topic in a more friendly note.

The guys don't hate you because you are feminine, they hate because you continuously degrade them.

 

[Halimo-2018]

I noticed this with Arab guys as well the low standards they set for themselves and justify it with their gender

“That's just the way guys are" "Guys are visual creatures"
"Boys will be boys"



Let me explain what I mean with low standards

What I mean by low standards is not having better expectations for your behavior and character

For instance problematic behavior like being a pervert is seen as okay

Because "guys simply can't help themselves" such as staring at women too long that it ends up making her uncomfortable, saying degrading things about women, seeing women as sexual objects, etc

Not my brothers. I trained them well. They know how to treat a woman. I wouldnt say all still working on 2 out of the 7 lol the other 2 are working progress.

 

[The alchemist]

You are preoccupied with men all the time but go out of your way to not criticize females.

You know, all the things you've listed is a female issue too. I get stares from females all the time, do I cry about how degrading, or how annoying it is?

I think most females sexualize their behavior and the way they dress. It's the signal they send deliberately. One click on IG and I see all the females I know, showcasing their bodies in very sexual ways. Maybe you should tell women to be more conservative with their behavior first?

You are the type of guy who would look away at a half-naked women and criticize men why they look at her but never mention how the woman dresses sexually provocative.

Why are you mentioning perverts, like we all are? No one likes perverts, and I've never heard people try to defend these deviant creatures. For this reason, I doubt you're a man. You are coming from an ignorant female viewpoint. A normal man would know that being a pervert is not the norm.

You are too biased, and its effing insulting waryaa.

These corrupt social behaviors can only be tackled when you look at it from all angles.

The behaviors you listed needs to change, and it starts from the values of the parents, the value and the process of the secondary socialization (institutions like schools), and society as a whole.

You see, you can give your children the best primary socialization, but society will negate all that at the end of the day. That's why you have to move to a place that respects your values. The influences of children to become corrupt is very strong. Even good parents can end up with corrupt children.

I don't think you are genuine on how to change this though. You only want to criticize without finding an actual solution or look at the bigger picture.

 

[halwa]

You are preoccupied with men all the time but go out of your way to not criticize females.

You know, all the things you've listed is a female issue too. I get stares from females all the time, do I cry about how degrading, or how annoying it is?

I think most females sexualize their behavior and the way they dress. It's the signal they send deliberately. One click on IG and I see all the females I know, showcasing their bodies in very sexual ways. Maybe you should tell women to be more conservative with their behavior first?

You are the type of guy who would look away at a half-naked women and criticize men why they look at her but never mention how the woman dresses sexually provocative.

Why are you mentioning perverts, like we all are? No one likes perverts, and I've never heard people try to defend these deviant creatures. For this reason, I doubt you're a man. You are coming from an ignorant female viewpoint. A normal man would know that being a pervert is not the norm.

You are too biased, and its effing insulting waryaa.

These corrupt social behaviors can only be tackled when you look at it from all angles.

The behaviors you listed needs to change, and it starts from the values of the parents, the value and the process of the secondary socialization (institutions like schools), and society as a whole.

You see, you can give your children the best primary socialization, but society will negate all that at the end of the day. That's why you have to move to a place that respects your values. The influences of children to become corrupt is very strong. Even good parents can end up with corrupt children.

In Islam you are supposed to glance, the second glance is haram. So no. You are at fault here for even looking back. Know your wrongs, man.

If you see a provocative woman, will you end up looking at her or start by looking away? Stop with your dumb excuses.

 

[The alchemist]

In Islam you are supposed to glance, the second glance is haram. So no. You are at fault here for even looking back. Know your wrongs, man.

If you see a provocative woman, will you end up looking at her or start by looking away? Stop with your dumb excuses.

Be realistic. We are humans if a woman dressing sexually provocative, then you will expect stares to happen. It's not an excuse but a logical realization.

The female is part of the problem. You not realizing that is the most fucked up thing. You need to address the "female" in the equation to solve the whole fucking problem.