Why do a lot of Somali girls marry men that are not on their level?

[Gaarasho]

Many women are their own worst enemies. They are in constant competition and try to bring other women down if it makes them feel better. I see it all the time, especially pre covid when it was more visible at work. You're right they do not have lasting friendships. Men still speak to friends from kindergarten. Women have to be insane to get marriage advice from other women as many do not want what's best for them. My mom only spoke to unrelated women on the phone or had them over when my dad was home. She never told me why but now I know exactly why she did that. She never told us her marital problems if she did have them, forget about other hooyos. That's why women leave decent men all the time. They will try to break up your marriage if you have a minor issue that can be settled through communication. "Oh you can do better". "He's nothing". I wonder how many marriage breakdowns affecting children happened in the Somali community due to other women convincing women in workable marriages that it's unfixable. Almost all Somali men are decent and understanding so it makes no sense why the majority have divorced. It must be other women who got in their heads.

Burden? Pry tell in a world in which women also understand the burden of what it is provide and can apply for the exact same jobs you do whilst also going through life altering and life threatening things like giving birth and raising infants, what extra burden do you have? It’s even more laughable when I know you’re a teen who hasn’t lived in the real world. Have you ever paid bills, rent? Tried to get on the property ladder? Worked in another country? I have done all that and I’m a woman, so you can’t tell me about any particular burden and I probably know more than you do atm.

Gone are the days in which men would go off to war, defend a whole tribe/nation and list goes on. Gone are the days when making money and provision was for men only.

your life is no different to the millions of women who probably do the exact same job as you do as well, unless you work in a oil rig, build houses ect which I know you don’t from my deduction from your other thread. There is nothing extra and there is nothing unique that only men do.

Btw, a marriage can’t be happy if it soley hinges on the happiness of the wife, both parties must make each other happy. You don’t seem to wants to do that you’re coming up with silly childish excuses.

you might see it as a major accomplishment to have worked in another country or gotten on the property ladder & / paid bills. But I tell you that is not what a man values.

 

[Angelina]

you might see it as a major accomplishment to have worked in another country or gotten on the property ladder & / paid bills. But I tell you that is not what a man values.

What a man values is none of my business. I never did that for male validation but for my own gain.

When will men understand that we women don’t educate ourselves and make money for the same reasons you men do it? As a man you do it so that you can get women, a woman would be impressed because she wants to be provided for and wants a piece of the pie. I do it so that I can have a safety net in case anything happens to my marriage or husband and actual property I can pass on to my children above all else. Men and women are not the same and the mistake that some of you men make is by having a narcissistic view of the world in which you think that we do xyz for your benefit. I only care about my sons benefiting my from my wealth, so why would I want some next woman’s son valuing me for that?!

 

[Gaarasho]

What a man values is none of my business. I never did that for male validation but for my own gain.

When will men understand that we women don’t educate ourselves and make money for the same reasons you men do it? As a man you do it so that you can get women, a woman would be impressed because she wants to be provided for and wants a piece of the pie. I do it so that I can have a safety net in case anything happens to my marriage or husband and actual property I can pass on to my children above all else. Men and women are not the same and the mistake that some of you men make is by having a narcissistic view of the world in which you think that we do xyz for your benefit. I only care about my sons benefiting my from my wealth.

Furthermore, I’m already married and so is @AbdiFreedom, so what is your point?

Don’t divert or misquote instead understand my message which is that you are trying to portray a image of personal achievements as a female whether you do it directly or indirectly and the thread title is actually about marriage so you being married is irrelevant because there are others reading this comments that aren’t.

 

[Angelina]

Don’t divert or misquote instead understand my message which is that you are trying to portray a image of personal achievements as a female whether you do it directly or indirectly and the thread title is actually about marriage so you being married is irrelevant because there are others reading this comments that aren’t.

It is a personal achievement. Personal being the keyword. It benefits women to be educated and have money saved up. You have an issue with it as you look at life based on what solely benefits you as a man.

I really couldn’t care less and no woman who has sense leads with her wealth and education when trying to attract a man, unless it’s about having access to them and being around them. My own wealth and Those traits you mentioned are for me and my kids.

I only mentioned those traits to that poster as he created the impression that men have extra burdens that women don’t understand, then I pointed out that in this day and age women understand the burden of working and paying the bills. It had nothing to do with personal achievements. That post clearly rubbed you up the wrong way as you went out of your way to misunderstand the message and add a false context.

Also, the idea that men don’t care at all is a lie. Data consistently shows educated men are mostly married to educated women. Men do not value a woman out educating them and out earning them. That is the key difference. A lot of men here riddled with low-self esteem can’t understand that subtle difference. The idea of highly intelligent men not caring about a woman’s educational level whatsoever is laughable indeed, especially when actual marriage rates tell another story.

like I said, women don’t get an education for men. In fact, it comes in handy for us when we want to leave an abusive marriage or when our partner passes way ect.

 

[Garaad.XIV]

A Somali girl I know from work is getting married soon, she’s a beautiful, educated RN with a 4 year degree and her soon to be husband is a warehouse worker with no university education. Obv I congratulated her but internally I was like wtf. And I see this so often with Somali girls unfortunately.

Personally I believe as a woman it is in your best interest to marry a man either someone on your level or above. Marrying a man who doesn’t make as much as you do when you are educated and have a well paying job isn’t gonna do you any favours. You will automatically become the main breadwinner or have to split the bills 50/50. The husband can’t be the provider for you and your family as he is Islamically supposed to because he literally doesn’t have the means to. You will have no choice but to take on that role. When you have children this will be amplified. You cant stay at home with your babies for as long as you would like bc you gotta go back to work asap to put food on the table. Meanwhile you’re still doing majority of the domestic chores at home as that is the cultural expectation. While busting your ass at work. What kind of life is this?

I know it’s slim pickings out there and a lot of women will marry any guy they can find that treats them decent but a man’s income and occupation matters..don’t settle for a man below your level.

The big question is what did the woman study and what is her job? Additionally, is she in the Netherlands?

 

[Gaarasho]

It is a personal achievement. Personal being the keyword. It benefits women to be educated and have money saved up. You have an issue with you it as you look at life based on what solely benefits you as a man. I really couldn’t care less and no woman who has sense leads with her wealth and education when trying to attract a man, unless it’s about having access to them and being around them. My own wealth and Those traits you mentioned are for me and my kids. I only mentioned those traits to that poster as he created the impression that men have extra burdens that women don’t understand, then I was pointed out that in this day and age women understand the burden of working and paying the bills. It had nothing to do with personal achievements. That post clearly rubbed you up the wrong way as you went out of your way to misunderstand the message and add a false context.

Also, the idea that men don’t care at all is a lie. Data consistently shows educated men are mostly married to educated women. Men do not value a woman out educating them and out earning them. That is the key difference. A lot of men here riddled with low-self esteem can’t understand that subtle difference. The idea of highly intelligent men not caring about a woman’s educational level whatsoever is laughable indeed, especially when actual marriage rates tell another story.

like I said, women don’t get an education for men. In fact, it comes in handy for us when we want to leave an abusive marriage or when our partner passes way ect.

Listen darling it’s Ramadan and you’re married I’m sure you got some kitchen chores to do like preparing saambus so get outta this forum and put in some work.

 

[Angelina]

Listen darling it’s Ramadan and you’re married I’m sure you got some kitchen chores to do like preparing saambus so get outta this forum and put in some work.

Get off the internet and actually help your hooyo that is slaving away in the kitchen instead of calling other peoples wives darling.

 

[Gaarasho]

Damn ur standards are low, u will waste all ur wages payin for a 'female' and die broke same with ur kids no generational wealth. Cleaning and being feminine? that's not even funny even a 'monkey' can do that. How can u be in marriage with a 'slave', how boring as f*ck no wonder the divorce rate is high. Plus what is your 'dust value' only a 'few r remembered in the world the many are just dust' why wud allah care for u when noone in society cared for u? ur religion doesn't stand on 'reason' but 'dogma' of 'failed' people who's 'dust' is among the world dust and nobody even cared to note their name or achievements and u think u stand a chance before allah u r wishful thinker kiddo, not a 'reason thinker'.

Man you’re a gaal with an Aussie accent aint nobody taking your advice meesha iskaga taag ader

 

[Gaarasho]

Get off the internet and actually help your hooyo that is slaving away in the kitchen instead of calling other peoples wives darling.

My mum isn’t a slave she enjoys cooking and is actually a great chef for your information. She inherited those skills from my ayeyo Aun something I doubt you’d know anything about.

 

[Angelina]

My mum isn’t a slave she enjoys cooking and is actually a great chef for your information. She inherited those skills from my ayeyo Aun something I doubt you’d know anything about.

Ramadan is a time in which people have to do a lot of cooking and they tend to need help, even if they enjoy it. The cleaning also piles up as well.

Also, Ramadan is a time of Ibaadah. I’m sure your mother would love to dedicate lots of time for readying Quraan instead of being in the kitchen the whole time. If you actually helped your mum, you could free some of her time to dedicate to her lord. But you don’t think do you?

Another note, your mum who is probably middle aged or older and probably doesn’t have the energy she once did when you were young, yet you still can’t see how it’s difficult for someone her age to be in the kitchen for hours.

May Allah protect us from callous and selfish sons. Gaarasho l’aan should be your new nickname.

 

[DR OSMAN]

@Gaarasho I know u dont like me but I prefer the bitter truth then made up fantasy. Let say god exists for argument sake. Why would he care for u when no-one in society cared for u? this is unbelievable to believe god loves u yet in society no1 did. The truth is the 'many' who live r no different to the dirt on the ground, mere DIRT, only a few r honored in each slice of history. U won't even be fkn foot-note, u will just be among the great big dust bowl of dust that ppl blow 'away' and say 'war iga tag of my faace'

 

[Gaarasho]

Ramadan is a time in which people have to do a lot of cooking and they tend to need help, even if they enjoy it. The cleaning also piles up as well.

Also, Ramadan is a time of Ibaadah. I’m sure your mother would love to dedicate lots of time for readying Quraan instead of being in the kitchen the whole time. If you actually helped your mum, you could free some of her time to dedicate to her lord. But you don’t think do you?

Another note, your mum who is probably middle aged or older and probably doesn’t have the energy she once did when you were young, yet you still can’t see how it’s difficult for someone her age to be in the kitchen for hours.

May Allah protect us from callous and selfish sons.

Thanks for the moral lecture it really feels empowering and nurturing coming from you.

 

[Angelina]

Thanks for the moral lecture it really feels empowering and nurturing coming from you.

lol, stop with sarcasm.

On a serious note, May Allah protect our mothers. I feel homesick thinking about her. I’m not in the same country as her.

 

[Gaarasho]

@Gaarasho I know u dont like me but I prefer the bitter truth then made up fantasy. Let say god exists for argument sake. Why would he care for u when no-one in society cared for u? this is unbelievable to believe god loves u yet in society no1 did. The truth is the 'many' who live r no different to the dirt on the ground, mere DIRT, only a few r honored in each slice of history. U won't even be fkn foot-note, u will just be among the great big dust bowl of dust that ppl blow 'away' and say 'war iga tag of my faace'

lol, stop with sarcasm.

On a serious note, May Allah protect our mothers. I feel homesick thinking about her. I’m not in the same country as her.

Amen , neither am I.

 

[Man with a garuun]

To the OP, here is the reason: Faraxs wifey them but other men from other ethnicities exploit them and leave them to their devices. That is why. Xalimos, especially westernized ones, shouldn't even have the audacity to question Faraxs. They should be happy with any Faraxs that look at their way. If they don't, they can keep their loose life and leave the Faraxs alone. Do you hear me westernized Xalimos? You aint gotten that many choices. kkkkkk

 

[Ragnimo]

They dont care about halal most of these Halimos would prefer a rich drug dealer to a warehouse job guy

I Don't know how common it is nowadays but when I was younger around the early 2010's a lot of educated Xalimos straight of out uni were falling in love with trapper Faaraxs and getting married with them, but I don't know about nowadays tho with this new generation.

 

[TekNiKo]

This is the best answer in this thread, they make it seem like all it takes 100k+ salary to bag a dime. Maybe for a super mid female but anything above that I’d say attraction is just as important as your finances.

This is true, a drug dealing Faarax who knows how to woo the ladies will always trump an awkward anti social IT worker.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

This is true, a drug dealing Faarax who knows how to woo the ladies will always trump an awkward anti social IT worker.

This tbh. And the good looking boring guy will always beat the clapped dude with game and drip.

 

[Khaem]

To the OP, here is the reason: Faraxs wifey them but other men from other ethnicities exploit them and leave them to their devices. That is why. Xalimos, especially westernized ones, shouldn't even have the audacity to question Faraxs. They should be happy with any Faraxs that look at their way. If they don't, they can keep their loose life and leave the Faraxs alone. Do you hear me westernized Xalimos? You aint gotten that many choices. kkkkkk

I don't like race mixing and rather somalis stay pure however somali men should also better themselves because all Men should strive to achieve a higher level and a part of that is the ability to provide for one's women

 

[Nak-Muay-Femeu]

This is the best answer in this thread, they make it seem like all it takes 100k+ salary to bag a dime. Maybe for a super mid female but anything above that I’d say attraction is just as important as your finances.

The whole "you need money and status" bollocks is a line of bullshit ugly or otherwise socially incompetent losers feed themselves to cope with the fact that they're just not appealling to the opposite sex lol. I personally know guys who got stinking rich off of crypto, I'm talking high 6figures, who are still the same social rejects they were prior. Some lads are just destined to be alone, we literally have twice as many female ancestors as male ancestors for a reason

Most men throughout history were fucking ditch diggers/peasant farmers or died off in battles whilst the local chieftain and handsome swindler types impregnanted half the village/town lol