Why do a lot of Somali girls marry men that are not on their level?

[Angelina]

Exactly, if cadaan who don't give 2shits about Riba are struggling then what chance to do we stand?

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[Angelina]

TikTok - Make Your Day

vt.tiktok.com

 

[Ragnimo]

Most of them are users, one crazy Halimo I met loves freebies. I told her to f*ck off broke bijj

I think this girl who used to work at bbc was using juugs and ended up taking her own life https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...after-bbc-journalist-hanna-yusufs-death-at-27

 

[Smokybob03]

No one cares about your education, only your looks and akhlaaq. The warehouse worker might be making good money, and they're compatible. I know many uneducated truck drivers who are killing it. Stop acting like a madow woman. White women don't care about these things, and they're getting married and are happy.

Facts. They ain’t ready for the truth. Well done to that woman, she didn’t judge him for shallow reasons like his ‘warehouse’ job which is HALAL income by the way and the single unmarried unwanted women in this thread are confused and surprised. That attitude is why y’all single and unwanted and on somalispot forum late at night

 

[TekNiKo]

Facts. They ain’t ready for the truth. Well done to that woman, she didn’t judge him for shallow reasons like his ‘warehouse’ job which is HALAL income by the way and the single unmarried unwanted women in this thread are confused and surprised. That attitude is why y’all single and unwanted and on somalispot forum late at night

They dont care about halal most of these Halimos would prefer a rich drug dealer to a warehouse job guy

 

[Angelina]

They dont care about halal most of these Halimos would prefer a rich drug dealer to a warehouse job guy

And you don’t care about facts clearly. Most women that go for drug dealers aren’t usually educated and are form low-socioeconomic backgrounds. A teacher or a doctor isn’t going to ruin her rep with being a drug dealer. Sometimes I worry about you lots state of mind and common sense.

@Smokybob03

If women are choosing not to date certain men, then clearly they aren’t unwanted. You’re contradicting yourself. They’re single because they choose to avoid certain types.

 

[Step a side]

The only level that exist is piety in Allah. If you measure level in terms of worldly material then you are indirectly implying that the billionaires, multimillionaires and other people of this world are higher then you. Which is a a sad thing because I will never accept anyone higher than me. Only the prophets of Allah, the Sahaba and my parents are higher than me.

 

[Smokybob03]

And you don’t care about facts clearly. Most women that go for drug dealers aren’t usually educated and are form low-socioeconomic backgrounds. A teacher or a doctor isn’t going to ruin her rep with being a drug dealer. Sometimes I worry about you lots state of mind and common sense.

@Smokybob03

If women are choosing not to date certain men, then clearly they aren’t unwanted. You’re contradicting yourself. They’re single because they choose to avoid certain types.

And the guys they WANT, don’t want them. Hence why they’re single unmarried and undesirable chilling on Somali spot forum

 

[Angelina]

And the guys they WANT, don’t want them. Hence why they’re single unmarried and undesirable chilling on Somali spot forum

it’s more of a case of there being more university educated women than men and that’s in all ethnic groups btw, but more so with Somalis. So even if a woman ticks all the boxes of what a university educated man with a decent job wants, there simply isn’t enough to go around. plus, for some it’s a waiting game. Ultimately it’s calaf.

 

[KillStreakIsCool]

Warehouse workers happen to be the real deal old school somali males. It never goes wrong to choose someone you like no matter what they do for living. They are the type who pull out the rugs for prayers, joke loudly and say the most endearing words to their Somali female counterparts, helping hands, honest and straight up Nomads. That Nurse got a good deal and she made the right choice.

 

[Sophisticate]

The median income is around $50K. Many Somali men at least make that. The average person is not getting anything substantially more than that. It's time they face reality. What one wants and what one can ideally get are two different things.

Don't most of those women you mentioned earlier also make median incomes? As you said, there are several Abdis who, at minimum, have a post-secondary education. So, I do not know why the fuss regarding not finding someone with some degree of educational similarity (homogamy). I believe RNs are paid ~70-90k in Canada. I don't think it's a job to scoff at, and it can be quite challenging. I wouldn't do it, but I commend those that would. I digress. If someone in that occupation wishes to marry a man who makes more than them, (1) they exist, and (2) you can often find them in tech, business/finance and plenty of other positions I don't think an impossible feat.

I'm more surprised by the harmful notion of 'slim pickings' and fear mongering being spread along with the general diminishing of Somali men and statistics manufacturing (i.e. 80% v 95% being useless). I didn't see you go after Osman, the one with the hell-hound pfp. I think that was probably the most insulting thing uttered.

AJ, the pandemic has taught us the true precarity of one’s relationships, health and employment status. Even those in coveted positions and highly paid occupations were on the chopping block for not complying. I’ve seen people having their licenses removed, tenures canceled, employees suspended without pay and the mass firings that we saw. I would have thought that alone would be a wake up call that you better consider alternate income streams in tandem with whatever professional salary one has. The establishment gaslighted like it was no one’s business and let people know they didn't have as much agency or bodily autonomy as they thought.​

 

[Angelina]

Don't most of those women you mentioned earlier also make median incomes? As you said, there are several Abdis who, at minimum, have a post-secondary education. So, I do not know why the fuss regarding not finding someone with some degree of educational similarity (homogamy). I believe RNs are paid ~70-90k in Canada. I don't think it's a job to scoff at, and it can be quite challenging. I wouldn't do it, but I commend those that would. I digress. If someone in that occupation wishes to marry a man who makes more than them, (1) they exist, and (2) you can often find them in tech, business/finance and plenty of other positions I don't think an impossible feat.

I'm more surprised by the harmful notion of 'slim pickings' and fear mongering being spread along with the general diminishing of Somali men and statistics manufacturing (i.e. 80% v 95% being useless). I didn't see you go after Osman, the one with the hell-hound pfp. I think that was probably the most insulting thing uttered.

AJ, the pandemic has taught us the true precarity of one’s relationships, health and employment status. Even those in coveted positions and highly paid occupations were on the chopping block for not complying. I’ve seen people having their licenses removed, tenures canceled, employees suspended without pay and the mass firings that we saw. I would have thought that alone would be a wake up call that you better consider alternate income streams in tandem with whatever professional salary one has. The establishment gaslight like it was no one’s business and let people know they didn't have as much agency or bodily autonomy as they thought.​

the harmful notion of slim pickings come from the fact that women in every demographic are now more educated than their male counterparts and women in their 20s seem to be earning more (I could be remembering the data wrong, but that is what I remember) although men tend to earn more later.

 

[reer]

They have credit cards and have interest car loans and engage in riba like everyone else.

also dont forget student loans.

 

[Sophisticate]

the harmful notion of slim pickings come from the fact that women in every demographic are now more educated than their male counterparts and women in their 20s seem to be earning more (I could be remembering the data wrong, but that is what I remember) although men tend to earn more later.

I'm familar with the general educational disparity. Though in Canada women only make up 25% of those in STEMs. There are still fewer women in tech (engineering and computer science) and retaining them poses a problem. That's another issue though. It still appears that though women are more likely to be educated than men. That the gender pay gap still exists.​

Women post-secondary students leave school with student loans to pay and lesser means to do so (Canadian Women’s Foundation, 2019). And it contributes to a gendered pension gap of 22%, where women retire with only about 80% of the pension men retire with (Mercer CFA Institute, 2021).​

I think my point was directed more so at Osman. Even I was insulted by how he did men dirty with his hyperboles.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Don't most of those women you mentioned earlier also make median incomes? As you said, there are several Abdis who, at minimum, have a post-secondary education. So, I do not know why the fuss regarding not finding someone with some degree of educational similarity (homogamy). I believe RNs are paid ~70-90k in Canada. I don't think it's a job to scoff at, and it can be quite challenging. I wouldn't do it, but I commend those that would. I digress. If someone in that occupation wishes to marry a man who makes more than them, (1) they exist, and (2) you can often find them in tech, business/finance and plenty of other positions I don't think an impossible feat.

I'm more surprised by the harmful notion of 'slim pickings' and fear mongering being spread along with the general diminishing of Somali men and statistics manufacturing (i.e. 80% v 95% being useless). I didn't see you go after Osman, the one with the hell-hound pfp. I think that was probably the most insulting thing uttered.

AJ, the pandemic has taught us the true precarity of one’s relationships, health and employment status. Even those in coveted positions and highly paid occupations were on the chopping block for not complying. I’ve seen people having their licenses removed, tenures canceled, employees suspended without pay and the mass firings that we saw. I would have thought that alone would be a wake up call that you better consider alternate income streams in tandem with whatever professional salary one has. The establishment gaslight like it was no one’s business and let people know they didn't have as much agency or bodily autonomy as they thought.​

Osman is correct that many women regard most men as below them. There is a reason why 80-90% of women go after 10-20% of the guys. What else does that suggest?

Nurses have a very high turnover rate.
I read between 1/5 and 1/3 of new nurses leave within their first year and the majority want to leave the field. For the ones that leave, they will probably not find a job that pays as well. $70-90K is good money but not amazing enough to demand a 6 figure high value man (they don't care about womens' income anyway). Only 10% of Canadians make six figures or more in salary. Now imagine how many unmarried Somali men make that?

It isn't slim pickings (they have so much options at men at their level) but they will never get the man they want at the level they are at. Want proof? I know a number of these types of men the average Somali woman wants and they roll their eyes. The men they want are men that don't want them. Some have the courage to DM them and get ignored. They try to be nice around them and it gets awkward. They genuinely feel uncomfortable at a woman not at their level trying to be friendly with them. They are talking to women on their level and wallahi they are dragging the relationship out so long just to see any red flags that pop up. They are even hesitant with women on their level. They will honestly never entertain an average woman with zina.

I blame social media. People think they are playing first player mode thinking they are the high value woman visiting Paris. They think they are the twin of that woman.

The problem is not the low marriage rate.

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. Being single is not the problem. The problem is the delusion that the majority can get the top percentage of men. They cannot. The problem is this delusion is robbing so many people of lasting, loving relationships. Even if there was enough of them to give every average woman a husband, they still do not want that average woman.

 

[Angelina]

Osman is correct that many women regard most men as below them. There is a reason why 80-90% of women go after 10-20% of the guys. What else does that suggest?

Nurses have a very high turnover rate.
I read between 1/5 and 1/3 of new nurses leave within their first year and the majority want to leave the field. For the ones that leave, they will probably not find a job that pays as well. $70-90K is good money but not amazing enough to demand a 6 figure high value man (they don't care about womens' income anyway). Only 10% of Canadians make six figures or more in salary. Now imagine how many unmarried Somali men make that?

It isn't slim pickings but they will never get the man they want at the level they are at. Want proof? I know a number of these types of men the average Somali woman wants and they roll their eyes. The men they want are men that don't want them. Some have the courage to DM them and get ignored. They try to be nice around them and it gets awkward. They genuinely feel uncomfortable at a woman not at their level trying to be friendly with them. They are talking to women on their level and wallahi they are dragging the relationship out so long just to see any red flags that pop up. They are even hesitant with women on their level. They will honestly never entertain an average woman with zina.

I blame social media. People think they are playing first player mode thinking they are the high value woman visiting Paris. They think they are the twin of that woman.

The problem is not the low marriage rate.

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. Being single is not the problem. The problem is the delusion that the majority can get the top percentage of men. They cannot. The problem is this delusion is robbing so many people of lasting, loving relationships. Even if there was enough of them to give every average woman a husband, they still do not want that average woman.

Those women who are nurses, teachers ect want men who are similar to them. Those jobs are still average jobs, but it seems even women wanting average professional men is still a problem in our community. 6 figures isn’t even a discussion mate, you’re out here seething that these women want like for like and if that is the case then clearly we have an issue in our community if men are struggling to be average teachers and other very average professional jobs.

historically women had a financial incentive to marry. If women can no longer demand that a man should provide them to their level they’re able to provide for themselves, then a lot of women will simply opt for the single life. Those demand are actually good for the community as it should increase the productivity of our men.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Those women who are nurses, teachers ect want men who are similar to them. Those jobs are still average jobs, but it seems even women wanting average professional men is still a problem in our community. 6 figures isn’t even a discussion mate, you’re out here seething that these women want like for like and if that is the case then clearly we have an issue in our community if men are struggling to be average teachers and other very average professional jobs.

Well those men are in short supply. We all know that. This is about supply and demand. Somalis in comparable positions (white collar) are not plentiful. Men are disproportionately doing blue collar work and many of the times make more than these Somali nurses and teachers. White collar ones will find the one most compatible to them among the sea of Somali nurses and teachers. Some may not even want a Somali nurse or teacher. Some may marry a Somali woman who manages dental insurance claims for employers' employees through Blue Cross. Some may want a housewife. Some may marry an ajnabi. Many believe it or not choose to be single. Wallahi I think most of these men I know are single and some even want to be single forever.

So with this information I provided, what's the solution here?

 

[Angelina]

Well those men are in short supply. We all know that. This is about supply and demand. Somalis in comparable positions (white collar) are not plentiful.

A bit of a problem when there are a lot of women In those fields and not men. I know there are a lot of women because I know far too many teachers btw. I’m at a point in which I’m looking at Somali girls and hope they choose another profession. We copy each too much.

Men are disproportionately doing blue collar work and many of the times make more than these Somali nurses and teachers.

if they were making more then we wouldn’t be having these discussions. Somali
Girls in the UK don’t reject plumbers and electricians. The issue is the security workers and those that stack shelves ect.

White collar ones will find the one most compatible to them among the sea of Somali nurses and teachers. Some may not even want a Somali nurse or teacher. Some may marry a Somali woman who manage dental insurance claims for employers' employees through Blue Cross. Some may want a housewife.

The ones that wants a housewife are rather slim. White collar Somali men who are at the start of their career who are smart enough to want to get on the property ladder to move out of their hooyos rough area know they can’t get a house on their own. Or maybe I’m giving them too much credit? In the UK, a professional white collar worker still makes peanuts compared to North America and ME.

Some may marry an ajnabi. Many believe it or not choose to be single. Wallahi I think most of these men I know are single and some even want to be single forever.

The girls are like that as well. I have far too many friends who are content with living their lives and hanging out with friends.

So with this information I provided, what's the solution here?

1. Encourage men to actually start doing courses and being more ambitious or they’ll lose out. A lot of IT positions don’t even require degrees anymore. I know a fob from Kenya who did a degree, then an IT course and 5 years later he has a cushy middle class job. If someone raised in Africa who doesn’t know the system can do this, then why can’t someone who was born and raised?? Even if they do marry abroad, they’ll have to keep her there or if they bring her to the West, they perpetuate the same cycle of council house living and rough neighborhoods.

2. Women should maybe lower their standards when it comes to superficial things like age and height. Many girls would reject a man that is even two years younger or shorter even if he’s good quality.

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3. Women shouldn’t go for potential but some guys aren’t all talk and are actually in the process and you can see actual proof. Example, he tells you he wants to do this or that and he’s actually doing the course or he tells you wants to start a business and he’s actually opening it and you can see it with your very eyes, then maybe give it a go.

 

[Sophisticate]

Osman is correct that many women regard most men as below them. There is a reason why 80-90% of women go after 10-20% of the guys. What else does that suggest?

Nurses have a very high turnover rate.
I read between 1/5 and 1/3 of new nurses leave within their first year and the majority want to leave the field. For the ones that leave, they will probably not find a job that pays as well. $70-90K is good money but not amazing enough to demand a 6 figure high value man (they don't care about womens' income anyway). Only 10% of Canadians make six figures or more in salary. Now imagine how many unmarried Somali men make that?

It isn't slim pickings (they have so much options at men at their level) but they will never get the man they want at the level they are at. Want proof? I know a number of these types of men the average Somali woman wants and they roll their eyes. The men they want are men that don't want them. Some have the courage to DM them and get ignored. They try to be nice around them and it gets awkward. They genuinely feel uncomfortable at a woman not at their level trying to be friendly with them. They are talking to women on their level and wallahi they are dragging the relationship out so long just to see any red flags that pop up. They are even hesitant with women on their level. They will honestly never entertain an average woman with zina.

I blame social media. People think they are playing first player mode thinking they are the high value woman visiting Paris. They think they are the twin of that woman.

The problem is not the low marriage rate.

Spoiler

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. Being single is not the problem. The problem is the delusion that the majority can get the top percentage of men. They cannot. The problem is this delusion is robbing so many people of lasting, loving relationships. Even if there was enough of them to give every average woman a husband, they still do not want that average woman.

I really want you to have your own show or podcast.

I don't really think these women are asking for very much TBH. If the situation is this dire should I create a match making service?​

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

A bit of a problem when there are a lot of women In those fields and not men. I know there are a lot of women because I know far too many teachers btw. I’m at a point in which I’m looking at Somali girls and hope they choose another profession. We copy each too much.



if they were making more then we wouldn’t be having these discussions. Somali
Girls in the UK don’t reject plumbers and electricians. The issue is the security workers and those that stack shelves ect.


The ones that wants a housewife are rather slim. White collar Somali men who are at the start of their career who are smart enough to want to get on the property ladder to move out of their hooyos rough area know they can’t get a house on their own. Or maybe I’m giving them too much credit? In the UK, a professional white collar worker still makes peanuts compared to North America and ME.

The girls are like that as well. I have far too many friends who are content with living their lives and hanging out with friends.

1. Encourage men to actually start doing courses and being more ambitious or they’ll lose out. A lot of IT positions don’t even require degrees anymore. I know a fob from Kenya who did a degree, then an IT course and 5 years later he has a cushy middle class job. If someone raised in Africa who doesn’t know the system can do this, then why can’t someone who was born and raised?? Even if they do marry abroad, they’ll have to keep her there or if they bring her to the West, they perpetuate the same cycle of council house living and rough neighborhoods.

2. Women should maybe lower their standards when it comes to superficial things like age and height. Many girls would reject a man that is even two years younger or shorter even if he’s good quality.

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3. Women shouldn’t go for potential but some guys aren’t all talk and are actually in the process and you can see actual proof. Example, he tells you he wants to do this or that and he’s actually doing the course or he tells you wants to start a business and he’s actually opening it and you can see it with your very eyes, then maybe give it a go.

I know two Somali professionals my age with housewives. They were born here or came here as a baby. It's not rare. They make enough to support the household to not have the wife work. Some people really value having a housewife. So many cadaans have housewives. Everyday I see young Gen Z and millennial gaalo wives walking the pathway behind my home or at grocery stores when I sometimes go at noon. Housewives are common among all kinds of groups of people. Society is full of them. It sometimes doesn't make sense to have a wife to work.

Most men do hands-on work. Women are the majority in universities. It's not only Somalis but everyone. We cannot encourage Somali men to do things they dont want.

Women reject good men all the time, even professional men for the dumbest reasons. You're right. It's because they're picky. We both know it wasn't his loss, too. His search filter is much more expansive and is in way more demand. You should have told her the truth. She too is living in dreamland. She lucked out while so many others do not and she fumbled it.