Where to find a husband

[Taij4an]

It's better than being single forever. Not only that, as I said, if he's a good brother, who fears Allah and is aware of the rights of the wife/wives; then everything will be fine inshaaAllaah.
It's either that, or women are going to be living alone, no family, until they leave this dunya.

Is polygamy a practical and pragmatic solution to the prevalence of unmarried women and spinsters in society? Shaikh Sālih Al-Fawzān.

A spinster is an unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage―and this discussion also applies to divorced women, widows and those who have realised (a little late) that building a family and having children is more important than pursuing a career. Should these...

abukhadeejah.com

Shaykh Saleh Al-Fawzan answers this perfectly.

In this sisters situation it seems like she is treating him as a last case scenerio
I have nothing against polygny but in these scenerios it usually doesn't end well

 

[Taij4an]

Lets be honest - men in this day and age aren't doing it to follow the sunnah

do you know all men

 

[Abba Sadacha]

Lets be honest - men in this day and age aren't doing it to follow the sunnah

Aww come on that's not fair. Some certainly are. Also, wouldn't you rather our sisters have a good husband, even if it's polygamy, than be alone forever? Both men and women want companionship and have needs.

 

[AllStarSaciid]

do you know all men

why do you think first wives wreck their own homes coz of a second woman?

 

[Kane]

Waryaa @Kane what do u understand from this statement?

She is going to exhaust all her options until the retirement age of 30.

She is playing her cards right but will he play along? that’s the real question.

 

[Taij4an]

why do you think first wives wreck their own homes coz of a second woman?

Idk, some women are just no built for polgyny, some women have trash husbands, some women can't be patient upon it and chose to just ruin everything instead of seeing it through, its a case by case scenerio

 

[AllStarSaciid]

She is going to exhaust all her options until the retirement age of 30.

She is playing her cards right but will he play along? that’s the real question.

there is this concept i think you are familiar with..

"any woman that makes you wait for sex, the sex isn't really worth it." You should cut your losses and move on to one that is willing to get with u.

In our perspective as muslims the girl is prolly a single mom, one that is chasing a degree or check or one that as u put it is "exhausting her options"

this rings very true.

 

[AllStarSaciid]

Idk, some women are just no built for polgyny, some women have trash husbands, some women can't be patient upon it and chose to just ruin everything instead of seeing it through, its a case by case scenerio

if u marry a second woman but u still want the first, nothing bad happened between u two, she finds out and all of a sudden she accepts nothing but divorce. You do everything to make it work but she doesn't budge.

who do u think ruined the marriage? you or her?

 

[Taij4an]

if u marry a second woman but u still want the first, nothing bad happened between u two, she finds out and all of a sudden she accepts nothing but divorce. You do everything to make it work but she doesn't budge.

who do u think ruined the marriage? you or her?

Did u make it clear from the start that u may marry a second wife?
Did u discuss with her before hand u were interested in another women?
were u completely honest with her?

 

[truenature]

Somali masjids in Minnesota, Ohio, Toronto etc the people that actually consistently frequent the masjid on a regular basis usually have the rest of their lives organized too work education good relation with both parents

Men stand out you can observe without being noticed

Idk about the rest but in Ohio there’s mostly fobs

 

[AllStarSaciid]

Did u make it clear from the start that u may marry a second wife?
Did u discuss with her before hand u were interested in another women?
were u completely honest with her?

i don't believe in lying to women.

there is also this other concept
"Never imply exclusivity with women, not in your words nor your actions."

in our case as muslims polygyny being halaal, NEVER IMPLY THAT YOU WILL BE WITH HER AND ONLY HER... you don't know what will happen in the future.
Any woman that makes u sign a contract stating that she doesn't accept polygyny is one you should run away from (and yes i know she has a right to do so).

That is a woman making rules for you. She isn't your mother. RUN.

 

[Taij4an]

i don't believe in lying to women.

there is also this other concept
"Never imply exclusivity with women, not in your words nor your actions."

in our case as muslims polygyny being halaal, NEVER IMPLY THAT YOU WILL BE WITH HER AND ONLY HER... you don't know what will happen in the future.
Any woman that makes u sign a contract stating that she doesn't accept polygyny is one you should run away from (and yes i know she has a right to do so).

That is a woman making rules for you. She isn't your mother. RUN.

well if u were completely honest with her and were clear u weren;t gonna be exclusive and u informed her about it before u married another woman to help prepare her then her not being compliant and ruining the home bc of her emotions is her fault, but as we know most women have no ability to control their actions when they get very emotional and will end up breaking the family anyway
unless u are married to a good women

 

[babooshke]

I'll keep it one hundred. there ain't no halal muslim men by their late 20s if they grew up in the west. That's just not realistic unfortunately. Your best bet is a FOB/recent immigrant.

 

[Taij4an]

I'll keep it one hundred. there ain't no halal muslim men by their late 20s if they grew up in the west. That's just not realistic unfortunately.

dont tell the women that bro u cant expose us

 

[Kane]

there is this concept i think you are familiar with..

"any woman that makes you wait for sex, the sex isn't really worth it." You should cut your losses and move on to one that is willing to get with u.

In our perspective as muslims the girl is prolly a single mom, one that is chasing a degree or check or one that as u put it is "exhausting her options"

this rings very true.

A concept even worse than that is…

“A woman makes rules for betas and brakes rules for alphas”

25 cent meher vs 25,000 dollars meher.

 

[AllStarSaciid]

well if u were completely honest with her and were clear u weren;t gonna be exclusive and u informed her about it before u married another woman to help prepare her then her not being compliant and ruining the home bc of her emotions is her fault, but as we know most women have no ability to control their actions when they get very emotional and will end up breaking the family anyway
unless u are married to a good women

Is that ur fault or hers?
Do you think its you're responsible for your wife's emotional well being? not saying you should abuse her in any way but do u think its YOUR JOB to make her happy?

 

[AllStarSaciid]

A concept even worse than that is…

“A woman makes rules for betas and brakes rules for alphas”

25 cent meher vs 25,000 dollars meher.

wanted to put in those exact terms but i didn't want the nigga to lose his shit?

Do you think its you're responsible for your wife's emotional well being? not saying you should abuse her in any way but do u think its YOUR JOB to make her happy?

 

[Lebron James]

 

[Angelina]

Social media

Married friends setting you up with husband’s friends.

Apps

Professional Somali events.

Non Somali men


Everything is Qadr. If it written for you to marry at let’s say 33, nothing you do will work.

InshaAllah, the right man will come along. Just make dua.

 

[truenature]

I'll keep it one hundred. there ain't no halal muslim men by their late 20s if they grew up in the west. That's just not realistic unfortunately. Your best bet is a FOB/recent immigrant.

What if they don’t speak English and you don’t speak Somali? Hmm