What's your Love Language?
- Thread starter Sophisticate
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Such an interesting topic, I feel like it’s very important to figure that out in order to have good relationships. I really wanna read that book as well as “men are from mars, women are from venus“ my results are obv acts of service, quality time and words of affirmation. Like I said many times I want a cheerleader
Sis, you were actually the one that convinced me to check out Dr. Gary Chapman's book on the 5 Love Languages. This thread is all because of you. That and genuine interest in figuring out the lovelies on here.
A cheerleader is what you want and a cheerleader you shall get Insha'Allah.
Jojo said it well, "If I'm going to Love Someone...Damn....I'm gonna need a Man, Someone who wants me like a Fan...I need somebody who loves me like I loves me, loves me like I can.
I won't lie it was an exercise in self-awareness. I didn't know how much "Words of Affirmation" mattered to me as I tend to chide insincere compliments or look upon them with a scrutinizing eye. I silently read people from a mile away but in a friendly and deferential way. Any who, I will own it.
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You might rub off as physically needy to some.
So watch it.Some people were praised as children so this is simply what they are used to. I don't think I would ever be with someone who could not pay a sincere compliment. It's not as though ones self-esteem hinges on that. It should not be excessive or done in a sycophantic manner. Rather it should be thoughtful. well-executed, appropriately timed and tasteful.
All around pretty even except for words of affirmation. That's too easy to fake ngl
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sambuusi
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ahh, i've missed you soph and i couldn't resist leaving a commentMy thread temporarily lured you back.*Excellent*
It's listed more so in terms of order of priority. So according to the question you answered what is the greatest priority for you. Your quality time and acts of service seem closely matched.
it seems all my stuff is pretty close together except for gift-giving
adding to what @Marcus said, good company is definitely an important factor for a long-lasting relationship
Omar del Sur
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So you're telling me you can't decipher the genuineness of a compliment? I'm intrigued. You're pretty middle of the road in this. Let's just say Physical Touch and Quality Time win this round with Acts of Service and Gift Giving being equally matched.
That's an interesting account I never really thought of it that way. I often figured one should give things without the expectation of something in return beyond recognition I guess. I see how acts of service could supersede gift giving in importance because it's not only about the exchanging of a tangible/material/physical item but the giving of something immaterial i.e. time or a labour of love. Cool.
ahh, i've missed you soph and i couldn't resist leaving a comment
it seems all my stuff is pretty close together except for gift-giving
adding to what @Marcus said, good company is definitely an important factor for a long-lasting relationship
I missed you too and I'm glad that you took some time out of your busy day to chime in.
Agreed, good company is king. Step 1) lavish them with food, Step 2) involve guests in a series of games (that appeal to the group's interest(s). Step 3) Work the room and make everyone feel comfortable including those in the out-corners (hugging the walls). I hate when people feel left out. It's irritating. Unless that's what they want because they have a lower social thermostat.
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I’ve been faking compliments all my life. It’s hard to decipher. Girls fall for it all the time.
Which is why I’m kinda skeptical about it lol. Classic case of “liars think everyone lies”.
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Warya @Inquisitive_ why did you qashin me.
@sophisticate this test is too long but I would guess quality time.
But then again, I am not that surprised.
I'm kinda sentimental and gifts are a solid proof and a timeline show of how my relationship with someone evolved over a period of time. I tend to preserve the gifts even when they no longer serve any purpose. For example, if someone gifted me perfume, I will keep the empty perfume bottle since having it around reminds me of the gifter.
materialist
Inquisitive_
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I knew the results before I took it, 35% touch 33% quality time, 0% gift and the other two 16%.
I knew your results would be the same as mine, but was disappointed how you sort of back tracked after being questioned on it instead of wearing it as a badge of honour.
It would be materialist if I am accepting expensive gifts only. I would moved by someone plucking random flowers from the park as much as them buying roses from a florist shop.
It comes down to the fact that they remembered me and took time of their day to bring me a gift just to make me happy
sambuusi
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though a large gathering does sound enjoyable, i find a smaller group to hang out with is more ideal for me. it's easier for everyone to feel comfortable and not left out. being left out is the worst feeling though and it's honestly so painfully relatable.
i also prefer indoor recreation. i like to spend my time reading, watching stuff, and painting. i do like some outdoor activities but more of a chill quality like taking a nice drive or stroll around.
Inquisitive_
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Your combination is noble and selfless in an age were these traits are very rare in the female demographic were selfishness and materialism runs rampant, both these repugnant traits manifest in a person that lacks internal satisfactions.Badge of honour lmao.
Haaye . Don’t be disappointed
For the majority of females in this debased age the top two will consists of "words of affirmation" followed by either "acts of service" or "gifts".
Acts of service is usually found in middle aged female's with kids who actually need it, but for that to be the primary love language of a young female, it's an indication she is incredibly lazy and spoiled.
Gift as the primary language is an indication of deep seated materialism or a person that is never happy or satisfied in life.
Words of affirmation is more tricky, it could either be innocent self-esteem issues and if that's absent it's an indication of a lot of "pride" which has the potential to be toxic.
Quality time and touch are both the most healthy selfless attributes in a young couple.
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I think the Words of Affirmation get a bad rep partly because some people think of it as disingenuous. What if one believes what they say? And won't make a compliment unless they mean it.
It would be materialist if I am accepting expensive gifts only. I would moved by someone plucking random flowers from the park as much as them buying roses from a florist shop.
It comes down to the fact that they remembered me and took time of their day to bring me a gift just to make me happy
Hodan, there is nothing wrong with gift giving being your primary love language. Gifts are symbolic representations that make you feel appreciated be they small and sentimental pieces or expensive items that convey meaning since they were thoughtfully selected. You shouldn't feel the need to explain yourself.
@The Bloody-Nine please take the quiz.
I sense some introversion. Smaller groups are more intimate, easier to manage and you have greater depth of connection. So you like quiet activities. Interesting.
@Saredo I love your back and forth with @Inquisitive_ (it's comedy gold).
Haaye. So, I guess I'm highly prideful. I always assumed getting praised by ones parent as a child meant you didn't need to constantly seek validation elsewhere. I would say, this is more like a set of tendencies. Does one like positive words that actually mean something and are backed by good intentions (why not?). Gifts are not just a transactional system of exchanged to the recipient it may connote a bond or the strengthening of one over time (@Hodan from HR). Acts of service seems understandable (in the traditional Somali sense) whereby love isn't overtly stated but indicative through engaging in tasks that ensure maintenance and upkeep (i.e. taking out the trash, paying bills, running errands, child rearing). Everyone wants some degree of quality time (the amount of time spent and frequency depend on the person). And in this Post-Corona world we live in some people are getting tired of seeing their spouse more than they ever expected. So some might like to be married to them 2 hours a day and throughout the night but not 24/7 in a confined space that seems a lot more like prison. As for physical touch I scored the lowest on that so I can speak on it. I don't think I'll perish If I'm not hugged. I can self-soothe now that I'm an adult. Though I'm aware of the health benefits of physical touch. Humans are sentient creatures after all.
